Okay, everyone here KNOWS what the right thing to do is. We know that we need to eat less calories than we consume, lay off the pizza and sweets, work out for 30-60 minutes 4-6 times per week, etc. etc etc. AND YET, we don't.
We know EXACTLY what we need to do to have the body that we have always wanted, the body that (at least in our minds) will allow all our other dreams and goals to come true (whether that's true or not is a whole different post).
BUT WE DON'T DO IT. It's as if someone said, "You want this Dream House? All you have to do is mow the front yard every day for a month and it's yours" and then we don't do it. What's wrong with this picture? We have a goal, we have a clear path to the goal mapped out in front of us, and then we keep getting lost.
It's because weight loss isnt physical, really. It's completely and entirely mental. People who dont connect emotions and mental angst and stress with food usually dont have weight issues.
But then, we know this too.
We know that we need to get over our emotional issues, that we shouldn't try to appease our mental issues with food. But, yet again, we do it anyway.
Why?!
I just got home from sushi, beer and ice cream with friends. And I enjoyed every second. But now comes the guilt. Now comes the time when I come home and write in my journal "I'm starting over tomorrow!"
But, no doubt, it wont be the last time.
How do we stop this cycle? We have all the tools, we have the method, the support, the path etched before us—why do we continue to fail?
I love this post.Great question, one that I have asked myself many many times.I guess for me I have problems with depression.Food makes me feel better...briefly.Other than that excuse, I really cant say.But I do know that I am tired of it.Tired of being depressed.Tired of being fat.Tired of looking at all of my size 6 clothes that I have not worn for 5 years.Tired of having no energy.So I begin the "mental " game of changing my life.I think I also have self esteem issues.For some reason I believe I dont deserve all of the things that come with being healthy, happy, confident.On a lighter note...when I read your post i thought you were Carrie Bradshaw...so Sex and the City.You rock!!!
You stop the cycle the day you make the difference and really commit to it.
You know, many times people say the same diet the first time they did it was easy and gave results, the following times...impossible, too hard to follow and on and on...I have done this myself.
I was on my diet once, and I was having great results, but it was just a 1 month trial for me, so yes I had results but they were also over quickly. Then the need of sweets and carbs was too big for me and I gave up. And took back al the weight, while taking it back I understood what I was doing was wrong, attempted to get back on track, on my diet, but I just only seemed to slip off. So, what people said, that the second and following times are harder was true?
For about 1 month I've been off track, put on weight and all. Somehow I decided I needed to do it again, on my diet, for real, with committment and much of an extended time, I said 1 year if not whole life.
And this time I got back on track, and it's working, not only, I have much less cravings than the other times and I fight them better.
So I think it's like you say it 'do you want?' and 'yes I want' but...maybe in that situation we need to want it MORE.
Healthy lifestile is a long term committment, I'd say very much like a marriage though it's with yourself, and it's something you need to do for your health, maybe when we just know but don't do, we aren't yet ready for that marriage and we're just awaiting the good time to pick up all our power and make the difference.
I love this thread this is me (as i sit eating a bag of reese's pieces) I do this over and over again...I say I'm going to do it, I make the commitment and then I let life get in the way. I can't work out at night it's too hard with a toddler in the house and I'm too tired after she's in bed. I try to get up in the mornings but then I don't want to...and I'm going on too little sleep to try to fit this in.
I know this is what I not only want to do but NEED to do. I NEED to do this to be here for my daughter. I read on 3FC somewhere that "it takes 3 months to form a habit, and 6months to make it a lifestyle change". I keep telling myself I have to make it to the 3 month mark and it will just be habit....at that point I will be telling myself if I can make it to the 6month mark...I will be fine. But in reality it is a day by day (sometimes minute by minute) struggle. I just have to get through this minute just this one minute.
For me, dieting is a life style change - not a "I can never have sushi, beer or ice cream" again
I believe moderation is the key. Who says you can't have all three of those if they are informed choices? Pick a sushi without the rice, drink a light beer and have some FF frozen yogurt.
This way you can enjoy your time with your friends without the guilt or having to start over.
Yea, this sounds like me as well. I know what I have to do... it's just i feel too sick in the morning and too tired 3 hours later still to do anything about it.
I have a dog now so I am at least getting outside and walking a bit but I NEED to start taking longer walks... also with World of Warcraft taking over my life I have to use all the Time Management skills I learned in school... if I can remember what they were.
I am still going yo-yo with my weight... but at least now it's not passing 295 (if anyone can remember I started at 305). I can't afford a diet. I live in a very expensive city where all the fruits and veggies are more than the none healthy foods. I can probably get about 4 days of healthy food a week on my budget. I have tried to find Farmers Markets but they sell for MORE than the grocery stores do sometimes. It's insane! Fast food is less than healthy food and the WHOLE COUNTRY is wondering why we have such a large number of clinically obese people walking/waddling around!
I have gotten lots of helpful tips on this site... but most of them just weren't useful for my area.
I know now that my problem isn't eating too much of the wrong thing (it's part of the problem) but it's getting the motivation to actually get up off my butt, away from the computer (WoW) and DO SOMETHING! I have not played with my Wii for MONTHS!
I have a goal... to fit into a really pretty red dress by Christmas... but I just... don't think that will ever happen.
This is awesom what you have written here. And it is me to a tee. You WILL get there when you start focusing. You need this..****...we all need this, this is why we are here. You have to think of all the positive things about weight loss to get off your a s s and get on with it. When i dont feel like exercising...i just imagine in my head and remember how AMAZZZING it feels after a good workout. and when im doing those hill sprints and cant breathe and my whole body is burning...i just picture the awesom things its doing for my body, and i remeber how much i really need to do this...and it has really started to work for me. I mean ive only been on plan for a week now..but i feel like maybe this time i can do it.
I know its hard..but its your life, as far as we know you only have one shot at it, so why throw it away for a cupcake or a pie or a pizza. Those thing DONT make you happy no matter what! you said it yourself they make you GUILTY!! (im not saying whenever u eat something not classed as healthy u should feel guilty) but you dont need these things 24/7!
Thanks, girls. What I want to know now is, obviously some of you (who have said "starting tomorrow" as many times as I have) really have started tomorrow and have kept starting tomorrow for months.. so what was different that time when it really worked?
What seems to be working for me is now that I KNOW my biggest problem was emotional eating, I have done everything in my power to find healthier outlets for my emotions. My primary emotion is depression, hopelessness, the big black pit. But I struggle with anger, frustration, anxiety, the whole gamut of icky bad feelings. What has worked for me in that regard thus far is doing things to keep occupied when I know I'm starting to feel bad (cleaning, forcing my lazy butt into my car to head to the gym, documenting stuff like my food journal and updating my exercise log on here, and journaling) and when that isn't enough, as it often isn't, I'll shut myself in my room and just let myself feel whatever emotion. Usually that means lots of late night cry-fests, sometimes every night for weeks, but whatever I do, I stay away from the kitchen whilst letting it out.
I can't say this is something I do 100% but it's worked enough for me to find another biggest enemy, boredom eating. Which happens at work, often.
In my experience, I think the biggest struggle in weight loss is that when most people have a problem, they can DO something to solve it. And only half of our problem can be solved by doing something (exercise). The rest must be solved by NOT doing something (eating at every whim), which in my opinion is ultimately harder. Ever try NOT to think about something? That and in a roundabout way, this struggle is kind of about obsession. For me, I was obsessed with food. And even when watching what I eat, it's still an obsession. Just an obsession to count, measure, add up calories and nutrients.
There really is a lot of psychology involved in this process. I wish there WERE an easy answer, or an answer that applied to everyone.
Ok...so I always think about this and think that it is so mind boggling. I have always been the fat girl in the family, the fat friend...always the fattest one in the group.........YET...I know more about nutrition, what's good and bad for you, etc!! It doesn't make sense. I have every psych/diet book (ex: Dr. Phil, Dr.Oz,Jillian Michaels) and yet I'm still FAT!! WHY DON'T I DO IT!!???!!!?? I do it for a few days, then I slip, then I do it again....it's getting harder everytime. But, the important thing I tell myself is that I keep trying and one day all of my knowledge will suddenly click in the right places and work. You guys are right, it's all in the mind. I do find myself thinking that I can't be like other skinny people....like I'm not good enough or something. It's a constant struggle we must go through. I can't understand why certain people in life have to go through this and others don't. It's not fair But...as I end this....I'm still gonna keep trying!!
I'd say most days I am on plan, but there will be a day here or there that I'll allow myself something. Like yesterday I made a cake and it came out to 320 calories a slice. I had one slice- sure I went over my calories that day- but I planned to do this- and I still ran half an hour on my treadmill.
So sure you had some sushi and beer- okay and? As long as it's not a daily thing then it's cool. I'm sure you still ate less than you normally would. We can't live off salad and chicken breasts forever!
I haven't binged in so long I'm very proud of myself. I know on the days that I do go over my calories (planned) I still don't even come close to what I'd eat back then! I mean I used to go to 7/11 and get like $10 worth of chips, hot dogs, nachos, sweets, and so on. Last time my sister went to 7/11 to get stuff I didn't get ONE thing- didn't want it. She was shocked and so was I lol!
I stopped saying I started over cuz I had to realize that I'm making a lifestyle change- and that I won't ever stop- so I can't keep starting it over- I can just plan a day where I'll eat more than normal and then the next 3 days make sure to be very good. It's working so far
Lala21-
So true. I know more about nutrition and exercise and diet and all of that than all of my friends—I've read dozens of books, every magazine on the subject for years, and have studied it in school. And yet, I dont follow what I know I should do.
But I was just thinking last night back to the time in my life a few years ago when I was the most happy with my body. I had a sexy new bf who constantly told me I was hot (that always helps ) and I had that giddy-new-relationship buzz that made me not hungry and I had a roommate who was a workout nut and made me go to the gym with her every morning (and because I'm so damned competitive, I was always trying to up her mileage and was running 6-7 miles per day). So I lost weight. And it was almost unintentional. But the thing about that time that's most interesting is that I stopped looking at fitness mags or gossip mags or watching TV.. I just felt like I didnt want to. And I felt like I loved myself. I dont know which caused which—whether I felt good because I wasnt looking at all these media outlets and comparing myself, or whether I felt good and therefore wasnt seeking out these "motivations."
I really think that exposure to celebrities and even fitness mags (subconsciously) make us feel unworthy and make us turn to food even more. Really, I swear I feel like eating every time I look at a shape magazine. Sometimes I feel like magazines and books on eating are motivational, but more and more I think that we already know all the stuff. I think that (at least for me) if I cut myself off from that and shift my focus away from the physical and away from what I look like and what I dont look like, I'll be able to lose weight without the effort.
Really, when I was at my thinnest, I was only 6-8 pounds less than I am now (which I guess is a good amount) but I felt like a different person.. and I really dont think that was because of the number on the scale. I need to learn how to feel like that beautiful amazing person without a guy there telling me that. (Man, I'm freakin cheesy!)
I know I already posted my thoughts on this, but as I was posting on the Nat Body Challenge forum, something else occurred to me.
I will graduate in May with my MA in Clinical Psychology. If anyone has all the tools in the world for the mental side of this struggle, it's me. And I struggle with self worth and body image and mood swings like nobody's business! Lately I've been curious and just tracking daily on a 1-10 how I'm feeling in the realms of Depression, Anxiety, Stress, and Anger and I'm sure I'm rating depression in the higher numbers more often than is normal for a person.
Now, from a psychological background, I can attest that depression is an illness, but as far as general mental health and body image and self esteem go, I really do have all the tools in the world. Why don't I use them?
That is so true. It can seem like a subtle difference. I mean, just because I don't "start over," doesn't mean I'm doing it perfectly. But somehow, there's a huge mental difference between "keep going" and "start over," and it's the difference that makes it sustainable.
This is what I don't get...
But...as I end this....I'm still gonna keep trying!!
