I was hanging out with my friend Karen today, and we went for lunch (I ate good!) and then went shopping. We were trying on tons of clothes, things were going well, I found a couple shirts, she was helpful, it was great! And THEN!!! She goes "you know, we are the same size, I just wear things looser". It really made me mad, but I hid it from her. She definitely weighs less than I do, by about 20 or so pounds, but I'm also taller and have muscles. I think it irritates me because I am working SO hard on my body, she just complains about hers, not to mention she's always talking about all the guys who are hitting on her... well no guys ever hit on me! She's delusional! I'm trying on 14-16's, and she's trying on 22-24's. Anyways, I'm just really irritated! My friends always feel the need to say they are the same size as me, if not smaller.. I would totally admit if they were, but clearly not! Alright, thats the end of my vent.. sorry if it seemed mean.. but I am angry!
She's probably just jealous of you, and the fact that you have the willpower to get off your butt and do something about it. Don't let what she said irritate you, it's a waste of energy. If anything, feel better about the fact that people are wishing they were you!
that's crazy! i would have been freaking pissed too man. you're a bigger person than me... i might have had to say something. she's totally jealous and what a petty thing to say! it's cool though, i'm sure you're in a much better place than her where you can just let crap like that roll off your back and not sabotage you, right?
Friends sometimes are triggered to react in a negative way when we are sucsessful in our weight loss. They get jealous and try to get us off track. Just remember you have to take care of you because you deserve to be strong and healthy. Take a deep breath,let it out and remember you are on the right track and nothing can stop you.
i agree with corazonas, i might have said something catty! lol But you being the bigeger person about it is so much better in the long run. I think, if she does weight less than you, that she's afraid you'll surpass her while she sits around and does nothing.
SAME thing happened to me today! i got Medium sized pjs and my brothers wife says "yeah well i just got large so they can be very loose on me"
Yeah well guess what honey my mediums are very loose on me too!!
You are TOTALLY allowed to be angry about that! That kind of talk is mean and unsupportive. Your friend sounds like she's jealous of your willpower and success.
I had a similar experience- I have a friend who has always been super fit, and when I lost a bunch of weight a few years ago I borrowed one of her dresses. She actually got MAD and stormed out of the room when she saw that it fit me, and then made a point of telling me that it's "baggy" on her...Some people just can't be happy for others! Your friend sounds just as insecure as mine.
I have a friend who is the same way. We're about the same height but she weighs a lot more then me. To hide the fact that she was heavier when we were younger, she'd wear her pants under her belly so she'd be a size or two smaller then me. I kind of shrugged it off. She also makes fun of my breast size since she is a DD and I'm a B cup.
So...One night she comes over my apartment and asks to borrow a pair of my jeans. I said sure and hand her a pair of 22s that don't fit me anymore. She tucks them under her belly and says something along the lines of "oh, we're the same size". I just smiled inside because I was wearing a pair of size 18s....over my belly. If we go shopping together, I'll get a shirt and she says she'll fit into it. I am perplexed because not only is her weight stopping her, but her boobs are!
Friends can be such a pain! You friend is probably jealous because you're doing well for yourself. Just keep up the good work!
Last edited by WormwoodDoll; 02-19-2009 at 11:22 PM.
The green-eyed monster rears its ugly head... she's either trying to make herself feel better, or she may in her own-self even truly believe it to be true, which is even sadder since it makes her a delusional as well. You're definitely the "bigger" (pardon the pun) person on this for taking the high road.
ugh i so know what you mean. i had one friend who was definitely smaller than me but she just had serious body issues and she just was obsessed with the fact that i was fat (i still am, but we arent really friends anymore, hence the past tense). she was super crazy weird and i remember one time we were at the gap and i tried on a dress and came out and said it was a little small and hung it back up and then walked out of the dressing room. then i noticed she didnt follow me out and so i walk back into the dressing room and found out her checking the size of the dress! and then like a week after this we were at urban outfitters and we were trying stuff on and we passed something in a 12 and she was like 'wow i didnt even know they sold clothes that big here' and this is a girl who is a 10! she isnt fat by any means but she is like 5 foot eight and very athletic so i know she is at least a 10 so she obviously just said it to make me uncomfortable because she knew damn well i hadnt been able to even fit into a 12 the week before.
i also have another over weight friend who is always telling our skinny friends bad stuff about their bodies! like she tells this one mutual friend of ours that she has a flat butt and no boobs and she always makes weird sort of mean comments to my sister. i do feel bad though as in both these instances it is clear clear cases of self esteem issues. but i dunno, i have self esteem issues too but i dont lash out at other people!
Yeah, it's hard for her to see how well you are doing. Like even I will admit, I have seen friends who drop a bunch of weight and look great you can't help but feel a twinge of jealousy. I mean granted, I usually tell them they look great as opposed to making rude comments, but it's probably just the way she is. It's hard to feel jealousy and envy because you know it's not right and you shouldn't feel that way so everyone deal with it differently.
Bottom line: you know what size you are so just ignore her comments, nothing good can come from confronting her.
p.s- I hope you enjoy the AWESOME gorgeous vancouver Friday we are having!
I'm really glad my friends aren't like some of the ones you all have mentioned!
I'm trying to think back, though, because I had a friend who was bigger than me in middle school/high school who I went shopping with sometimes. I really hope I never accidentally made her feel bad...
I had a friend I recently stopped talking to for many reasons, one being weight. We are both big and everytime I tried to lose weight she would insult me, criticize me, etc. I think a lot of it was because she didn't want to be the only big girl in our group of friends. But for me, it was more about being healthy than being accepted socially.
I think friends are there to bring you up, not put you down. My other friends are just as excited as I am about my losing weight, and they are there every step of the way encouraging me. I've noticed that since I've stopped talking to this one friend, I've been a lot more motivated. I'm at work right now (bad me! posting while at work ) and all I can think about is being able to go home and go for a walk!
I had a friend that I stopped talking to all together because she did the same thing to me, only she came right out and called me fat, because she was jealous that even tho she was skinner more guys hit on me.
either way friends like that aren't worth keeping around, hun. seriously.
OT - venting about friend
) and all I can think about is being able to go home and go for a walk!
