can someone tell me if im just too sensitive bc i have issues about my body image and self esteem or is it ok to be bothered by these comments...
i get really uncomfortable and upset when someone says something about what im eating. for instance:
"wow, that's a huge ____, your gonna eat all that?"
"wow, i can't believe you just ate all that"
etc
and usually its comments by ppl that know i'm sensitive about what i eat.
my bf of all ppl knows this, and today after i made/ate a sandwich, he says:
"babe, i saw you eat a sandwich"
why. why is that necessary. it seems like whenever i eat something, he needs to comment on the fact that i just ate it. and then i get really uncomfortable and it makes me never want to eat in front of him.
i suppose i'll preface by saying that he makes observational comments all the time. literally commentates on everything that happens. it sounds stupid i know. but its kinda cute. and i'm used to it.
but if he knows my relationship w food and how much it upsets me. then you think he would leave that part of his daily commentary out.
i just spent the weekend with his family on that ski trip, and i ate alot and stuff that is nowhere near a diet. and i just felt so embarrassed the entire time, to be quite honest.
so is it me. maybe im just too sensitive and insecure.
but can anyone relate. plz tell me there's other ppl out there that feel the same way.
I am the same way. My gf will make a comment that I ate something bad. Like the other day I was so hungry my stomach was cramping, so I had a few potato chips to hold me over until what I was making got done cooking. It made me feel really horrible. I really get touchy about myself (eating, weight, etc).
Granted, I wasn't there, but perhaps knowing your food issues your bf was trying to be positive. As in, "Hey, you ate in front of me and that's great." Also, if he does a running commentary on everything, I wouldn't worry about the comment. If it keeps bothering you, talk to him. He'll probably be really surprised (men don't think the way women do and can be clueless about issues like these.)
As far as the other comments, I thinks it's rude to comment on how much food people eat. Even if they don't have food issues. In your case, I find it especially rude if the person knows you.
I totally relate! It especially bugs me when I've saved up my points to splurge on something and someone says something to me. I get annoyed and defensive in my response to them.
i agree with zenor. men don't have a clue sometimes how we tend to take their comments. and when they say "that's a huge sandwich, i can't believe you're gonna eat all that!" it would have been a compliment if they would have said it to one of there guy friends...weird...
we got in some new chocolate for dipping and making stuff in the bakery today and i wanted to sample it (they are little discs of chocolate, about the size of a quarter) and my boss laughed and was like Don't ruin your diet, it's just chocolate!
My mom does things that to me all the time.
She says 'That will put weight on you' or 'You are going to get fatter'.
She thinks she is helping, but she doesn't seem to realize I know what I am taking in. I have control and willpower.
She on the other had hasn't lost a pound from the supposed 'dieting' she has been doing since I was eleven. And I should be taking dieting advice from her? Grrr... I guess she just feels like she is reassuring herself to not eat bad things when she tells me not to.
I feel the same way! And its the worst when it comes from people close to you, like your family.
I have a tendency to eat very quickly, which is bad, but at the end of the meal, when I'm proud of myself for eating a good portion, etc, but because I ate it quickly, someone makes a comment about it? It bothers me more than it should...
I am sensitive to stuff like that too, I don't like people monitoring what I eat. My husband doesn't comment on what I eat (smart man) but the more I talk to him about my diet and my feelings about food and weight the more he understands what it all means to me. Have you tried talking to him about it? Sometimes people think they are being helpful by "monitoring" what you eat. Hopefully he'll figure out the right way to support you.
DH does the same thing to me. He will look at my plate filled to the brim of vegetables and ask if I am going to eat all of it. I had to gently remind him a few times that my entire plate of food has less calories than just one of his cheeseburgers. Sometimes it is all about Volumetrics.
I agree that guys probably mean it as a compliment (I've heard a couple guys have a conversation about how impressed they were with the size of a cheeseburger another guy was eating and how they both rushed out and got one just like it as soon as they could and when they got back he chuckled and said, "mine was a double").
I am also very sensitive about people mentioning what I eat, and I wonder how much of it stems from when I was a kid, and the one thing all of the parents in my neighborhood seemed to agree on was that you never ate in front of your friends without offering them some. It seemed like some kid on the block was constantly getting in trouble for coming out to play while still eating their afternoon snack and would get in trouble as soon as their mom noticed. It kind of gave me a hang up about eating in front of people at all for the longest time, even if it was at somebody's house and everybody was eating dinner together. I didn't go on a real date until I was 20, and have been on only two or three in the five years since then, because I'm so uncomfortable eating in front of people if I don't know them really well.
The result is that I eat more when no one's around, and we all know how bad a situation that can turn into, I think...
Back to the point of the thread: I think it is rude for someone to comment on what someone else is eating at all, especially in a workplace situation, or if you don't know them well.
I'd say he meant it as a compliment..my bf got a little worried about my eating..thinking I wasn't eating enough and when I did eat something it was like woah..I was like, YES I EAT!.
I don't have many people who make comments about what I eat...most of my family are the other way....quite ignorant about good eating habits and always constantly worrying about me not eating enough...trust me I love food too much to have an eating disorder.
However. OT-----I have a co-worker who has MAJOR food issues...and seems to live off of lettuce and tuna...
I find that if I'm in the kitchen at work or going on my lunch break..(her classroom is next to the kitchen) it's like she is eyeing how much I am eating or what I'm eating...especially if there is a special party for the children...If I'm in the kitchen its like she's peeking to see if I'm going to eat and sometimes she downright stares..other coworkers have noticed this too...staring while they eat something. However we recently had a Vday party for the children and i sent out a no junk food note to parents (they get very hyper with all the sugar of course) and she disagreed with it...and claimed to have heard parents complain about it..while my boss and other coworkers thought it was a fab idea. Anywho I think she wants the food around so she can A) sneak a little without anyone seeing or B) Have temptations around for me....somehow wanting to test me...which I don't care about..because that isn't the reason for the no junk rule.. and I had baked a heart cake to decorate with the children so they would have a little treat..just not 3 kinds of cookies, cupcakes AND a cake.
Anyways a little off topic and I prolly shoulda made this rant another thread! Sorry!
Last edited by angelanicole23; 02-15-2009 at 09:51 PM.
Though actually once my 5' 98-lb friend visited me for a long weekend. I was unsuccessfully trying to lose weight so I let her initiate all food eating, I'd eat as fast/slow as she was, and stop when she stopped (but of course I didn't tell her I was imitating her). Haha! It was actually amazing to see, she totally ate WAYYYY less than me and it was a real eye-opener.
I completely understand how you feel. I remember once a long time ago, my friend wanted to go to steak n shake, so we went to the drive-thru. Well I was talking earlier that day about how I was going to start dieting soon, so when I decided to order a small milkshake she completely embaressed me and was like "no she doesn't need that!" and started saying 'what happened to the diet, you don't need a milkshake, OMG" sooo embaressing! Theres a time, place, and a way to say everything and our loved ones just dont know the difference between SUPPORT and overbearing/insulting.
BUT...now that I am dieting, i feel like I have the same problem but opposite! Like, when I count calories or look at labels around my {skinny} friends they are like "are you serious??" or "just eat it already!" or laugh...and they don't mean it viciously, but its still frustrating! but it just makes me realize how important this website is; this is where we can all come when our loved ones dont get it because theres always someone here that will understand and/or provide support for every situation.
sensitive to comments about what i eat...
