[hotnewspirits]

So, I just graduated from University in October and like many poor graduates flocked back to the safety of their hometowns and parents homes. I've been living here for like 8 months and my parents are driving me CRAZY.

Gripe # 1: This is minor but annoying; my family never exercises. And they have had their struggles with weight but they are all relatively thin now (except my older sister) and never became thinner with exercise. So they can't understand AT ALL why people might want to exercise.

So I don't go to a gym and got most of my workouts done riding my bike around town in the summer and fall but now that its winter and we are literally up to our ears in snow I've been spending like an hour or so just walking around the neighbourhood. I do this on weekdays when they are at work but on weekends it's tough getting out without them noticing and mocking me.

So I'm putting my winter layers on this morning and my mom says:

"Where are you going?"
"Uh.. the grocery store(lie). Need anything?"
"No. You're walking?"
"Yes"
"That's far"
"I guess" go away go away go away
"It's cold. Let me drive you"
"No, that's okay" why can't you read my thoughts, go away!
"No it's okay I'm not busy"
"No I would like to walk"
"Why!? It's so cold!"
"Just to get some fresh a- "
"Is this for EXERCISE?"

Cue the look on her face that can only be described as sheer incredulity. And so I said "yes, this is for exercise partially". She actually laughed and hung her jacket back up. They actually find it unbelieavable not only that I would want to take a walk, but my mom believes that walking won't help anyway. Apparently she was raised that exercise had to be sweaty and exhausting and that diet pretty much meant starving. She told me when I was 15 and trying to lose weight that when you're on a diet you're always going to be hungry and did I think I could deal with that?

Gripe #2

I BUY and PREPARE healthy food for myself. It's my money and my time and effort spent cooking and I KNOW they spent years cooking for me or whatever but if I've prepared a low cal dish for myself and put a sticky note on it in the fridge saying "Please do not eat" because it is portioned for ME and is like 3 meals for me in the next few days, they laugh at me and mock me and hide it in the fridge and make jokes about not touching my food. And when I explained to them calmly why I made it my mom got defensive, like what's wrong with her food? Just because I dont want my low cal stirfry being eaten by someone for a midnight snack does not make me worthy of mocking! I don't even care or say anything when they eat my yogurt or anything. Just stay away from stuff I've put a lot of effort into cooking.

The weird thing is, my mom HATES that my sister and I are overweight (my sister drifts between 180 and 200) and yet she makes it so seemingly difficult for us to do anything about it!

Anyone else find their family or just general living conditions make it harder to lose weight? Or if not harder, than do they have people in their lives that seem to enjoy openly MOCKING their efforts?

Ugh, I need to move out of this house.

[choirgirlhotel]

You know, I may be waaaaaay off base here, but the first thing I thought of when I read your post was that your mom feels like she has lost control of you, she feels like you don't need her anymore, and doesn't know how to deal with it.

It could be that you are triggering those feelings of "YOU DON'T NEED ME ANYMORE" inside her, even subconsciously. She doesn't know how to deal with it, so she feels hurt, doesn't know why, and then mocks you.

It just doesn't make sense that she would mock you for something that is healthy and good for you. It might be more of an emotional issue for her.

I don't know. Don't mind me, I've been handing out the advice as if I think I am some guru this morning for some reason!!

Still, I just wanted to put that thought out there for you.

~CGH~

[blackbeltchica19]

Wow. I'm so sorry to hear about all this..Its upsetting when people show that they have issues with your weight and yet are discouraging in your efforts (how my grandma is).
I dont know how your family dynamics are, but I would sit down with all of them at once and have a heart-to-heart. Throw some facts in there about risks of being overweight and explain to them (which you shouldnt have to do, but unfortunately you might need to) that you dont want to be a victim of one of those ailments so you are changing your lifestyle.
Tell them that your not forcing them to exercise with you, so you are respecting them and that they should respect you in at the VERY LEAST not mocking you, but encouragement would be great!
Maybe suggest to your mom that you guys cook together so she doesnt feel left out and that way you can also oversee that things are healthy?

good luck! keep on exercising and eating healthy, you are doing the right thing girl!

[tkm256]

I don't think I could last more than a week in the same house as my mom. I love her to pieces, but she still thinks I'm an insecure 12-year-old incapable of doing anything by myself. Winter break was a surreal world of contradictions for me, too--first she gushed about how great I looked, then she spent the next few days shoving chocolate-covered pretzels at me and reminding me she's paying $8 for this buffet so I'd better fill up

Maybe you should get your own mini-fridge.