[shantroy]

I recently got a roommate. She's super nice and we've totally hit it off. She's trying to lose weight too and is on a definate health kick, which is just a bonous. I like her alot, but she knows no one in our city. She literally only knows me and my parents.

The problem is that b/c she doesn't know anyone she's clinging to me just a bit more than I'd like. For example she want to go out tonight, however, Friday is usually date night for me and the bf. Normally, I'd just say sorry have plans lets do something on Saturday; but tomorrow is my office Christmas party. I feel guilty leaving her home alone two nights in a row, however I feel guilty canceling on my bf b/c I haven't seen him in over a week.

I'm orgaizing a dinner party for some gfs in before the end of the month so that she'll meet some people. I know she'll get along with most of my friends so I'm happy to introduce her. But until I'm able to introduce her to people any suggestions on how to handle her lack of social circle?

[kelly315]

People usually won't make the jump to meet new friends in that kind of situation unless they're forced to. While you're being really sweet to her, maybe a night or two alone will force her to get out there and meet new people.

Your christmas party is this weekend, really? What's the deal with that?

[junebug41]

I think you may be doing both of you a disservice by looking at her social calendar/circle as your responsibility. I mean, I think it's awesome that you are welcoming her into your group, but outside of the get-together there isn't a whole lot you specifically can (or should) do. You can suggest things that are part of her area of interest- a lot of singles in my area play soft ball or broomball, otherwise you could help her find things that would keep her busy.

But I really wouldn't worry about it to the point of giving up time with your bf.

ETA: the girl's group dinner is an awesome idea! An acquaintance of mine recently started organizing get-togethers with all the women she knew and it has been a great way to meet new people and get to know people I didn't know very well to begin with. I think more people should do this! All of my girlfriends have scattered about over the last couple of years and I hate not having a circle of girlfriends!

[JulieJ08]

Yeah, you're putting too much on yourself. You need to protect your date nights!

[jillnicole03]

Well I think you are being awesome in the first place and I'm sure she'll understand you already being busy. I agree being alone might push her to take some steps on her own.

[jahjah1223]

Ask her if she'd like to tag along with you and your bf on date not.. I d oubt she'll say yes! Who wants to be a 3rd wheel?

[shantroy]

Kelly It's technically not a Christmas Party - We call it the End of year party (Technically in my mind, it should be the Year Beginning Party, but that's a whole 'nother topic) Years ago the exc's decided that it was to busy to do a party in December. There were always conflicting parties and family obligations. So they decided Jan was a good time to do the party. Plus sinces it technically not a Christmas Party no one is offended. Plus I'm sure the cheaper rates in January had nothing to do with it

I guess I just feel bad about not doing something with her b/c it's her first weekend in town. Her new boss is a B!tch to her and I know she needs some stress relief. Starting a new job and then having a boss that belittles you....I'd want a couple of glasses on wine on Friday too.

I figure I'll probably invite her along for dinner and drinks with the bf and I. We're totally not a couple that would mind. We usually just go down the street to the pub and have dinner and a couple of drinks. Nothing major. Sometimes people show up, sometimes it's just the two of us. I don't think either of would mind. We've both been the new ppl in town before. I just want to give her an outlit for this weekend then start pushing her to do her own thing. I know there's only so much I can do. It's hard to be in a new city all by yourself. I took her to the hockey game last night to get her out of the house. She's really into the art scene so I'm hoping she'll talk and art class and meet some ppl.

Thanks for making me feel better about needing my own time. I don't know why I feel guilty about it but I do...

Junebug I'm really excited about the dinner. I was think of inviting 3 of my gf and each of them would have to bring a female "date" Most of my close gf's complain about how few girlfriends we have so I figured we should learn to "share" the one's we have. It'll be like a girls only "pick up party". Only instead of picking up boys, we'd be picking up new friends! I'm hoping that we can get it to be a regular thing. Either potlucks or rotate houses or meet once a month for dinner. Just to build up our social cirlce. Hoepfully it will work.

[junebug41]

It's a great idea. We need girlfriends. Well, I do at least...

Anyway, she made a Facebook group and it makes it easy to plan stuff and organize...

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/gr...id=33083951591

[JulieJ08]

Originally Posted by shantroy

Junebug I'm really excited about the dinner. I was think of inviting 3 of my gf and each of them would have to bring a female "date" Most of my close gf's complain about how few girlfriends we have so I figured we should learn to "share" the one's we have. It'll be like a girls only "pick up party". Only instead of picking up boys, we'd be picking up new friends! I'm hoping that we can get it to be a regular thing. Either potlucks or rotate houses or meet once a month for dinner. Just to build up our social cirlce. Hoepfully it will work.

That's a really neat idea, I really like it. I'll stop saying really now

[shantroy]

So my stress about tonight became totally moot. I've got a nasty migraine, the bf is sick and the roommate is going out with friends from work. So I think it's all good. We're going out tomorrow afternoon to help me find some shoes for the dress I got suckered into buying today for the party tomorrow.