I come to you guys with a dilemma. Its probably not that big of a deal but its my personality to worry over things like this! I can't help it, its my OCD haha. Okay, recently I just started dating again after breaking up with my long-time bf (it was over for a long time anyways, long story really--and all I felt was relief) and I really like this guy. We clicked from the very moment we started talking, he and I have been exchanging emails (more like essays actually hahaha) for over 2 weeks, we text each other all day long, and we talk on the phone. I've already went out with him twice and it flowed pretty smoothly. We've shared all the little details that you usually would not when you first meet someone and some details that I actually never even shared with my ex! Needless, to say we like each other very much. The only problem IS, I haven't told him I'm on medifast! We've eaten once and I got away with it because of our L&G meal. He's big on fitness and such, I'm just insecure because I feel like he's used to a certain 'type' of girl (italian and skinny, pretty blah blah, oh gosh there goes my self-esteem issues rearing its head haha).
People around me know that I medifast but they've always known about my weight problems, I just feel like throwing this at him would actually call attention to the fact that I'm not 'his type'. Forget the fact that'll he'll more or less see me with less clothing one day! Oh gosh, the horror. I'm down to 148 from 197 and I'm proud of that 49 pound weight loss! Just not enough to share it with a potential boyfriend (until I'm 10000000% sure of him haha). Isn't that horrible?
So to make this short, I want to hear your opinion/advice. How do I tell him etc etc
P.S.
Now I'm seeing him this Tuesday and he casually asked me if I'm up for pizza. And what did I say 'yes!'. I'm so ridiculous I laugh at myself. I have no desire to cheat, I'm in the 'zone' for the past few months now and I'm on my last lap. 148 pounds today, 33 more pounds to go! Now I just can't figure a way to casually bring up my diet haha. I'm sorry if I'm all over the place guys! I'm just flustered lol
Well gee, here is a little blip from an oldy...If you want to have a great relationship: be Truethful with him...If you expect to try to build a solid relationship any little things you "fudge" on in the beginning will become monsters you can not get over or around....If he is so shallow that this would upset the whole deal...YOU DON'T NEED HIM....
You should just tell him your on a get fit and happy track right now and pizza doesn't fit into that. You don't necessarily have to tell him you're losing weight. I'm sure he wouldn't even think anything of it if you said let's go to _________ instead I hear their ________ is awesome. How do you know what his ideal woman is? I happen to know three guys who go to the gym almost every day of the week, that liked me (and my body) when I weighed 314. And they were very cute. You really can't tell what type they like just because of how they treat their own bodies.
I, too, think you should tell him. No matter what happens, he WILL appreciate your honesty. If you don't tell, and he figures it out or you tell him later, he will NOT appreciate the lack of truthfulness.
I'm gonna bet he won't be so shallow as to care. If he's into fitness, it might go better than you think. But I think the biggest reason to suck it up and talk to him (and I fully get how hard that is, I'm terrible about being open with people), is that the relationship will never feel so great to you while you know you have this secret hanging over your head. You'll always be thinking he only likes you because he doesn't know, and you deserve better than that. Anyway, it seems like the kind of thing that you could only postpone a short time anyway. If you don't want to seem fussy, you can tell him that! Tell him you don't want to be fussy or make things hard, but you want to stay on plan, and ask him what ideas he has. He might just become a big ally.
i agree with the ladies saying he'll jump on board and b happy/proud about this not turned off at all. he's going to know that ur a take charge kind of girl and that ur working to improve urself. and look at the bright side if it gets serious ur going to have ur own FREE personal trainer.
You should just tell him your on a get fit and happy track right now and pizza doesn't fit into that. You don't necessarily have to tell him you're losing weight. I'm sure he wouldn't even think anything of it if you said let's go to _________ instead I hear their ________ is awesome. How do you know what his ideal woman is? I happen to know three guys who go to the gym almost every day of the week, that liked me (and my body) when I weighed 314. And they were very cute. You really can't tell what type they like just because of how they treat their own bodies.
Very, very true. I completely agree! I'm a firm believer in being honest about yourself.
You're future tripping and you're assuming. Not good, don't do that! LOL.
Just remember, you are at your MOST attractive when you are being sincere and genuine.
~CGH~
Ps, yeah yeah, I'm 34 but I love the 20s threads!!
You don't know how much it means to me to see all this support!
Iconised, that's funny, I actually ended up doing that today and he was so cool about it.
I'm actually mad at myself for even letting myself get worried like this. I should have been proud of myself instead of thinking of what he would say. I promised myself not to care so much about what people might say and care about how I feel about myself instead. Improving and growing at the same time. I guess this is my first stumble!
So yeah, I did end up telling him in one of our little emails and he was really casual about it. No big deal at all.
I hate feeling silly about myself. I'm usually so sure of how to handle stuff. I guess I'm a bit out of touch with the dating scene since I've been with the same guy for 4 years! I can't believe I got so flustered.
An update: It actually went even better than I thought. When I told him (through e-mail because thats just how we roll hahaha), he texted me that he totally understood where I'm coming from about improving your health blah blah but he was at work so he couldn't elaborate. Later that night, we started talking about it and I was floored when he said that his NUMBER ONE turn on about a girl is someone who knew and is taking care of herself healthwise/lifestyle-wise. Needless to say the conversation went really well and I'm thrilled haha. I thank you for listening and dropping helpful advice! I love you guys!
good to hear it went well. I think we all worry about little things a little too much sometimes. And now you have even more motivation and support! Win!
I'm being ridiculous, I know it (Dating Dillema)
good to hear it went well. I think we all worry about little things a little too much sometimes. And now you have even more motivation and support! Win!
