OT: sometimes i get jealous when...
 

my bf wants to hang out with ppl that aren't me.

let me explain...

so i live in another country where i only know my bf, and the ppl that i live with. and on weekends i hang out with my bf during my free time. sometimes, he'll decide that he wants to hang out with a friend instead. and i know he feels bad, bc of the way he says it.

for example, i had a msg from him today saying "oh yeah, i wanted to tell you that i'm going to see an old friend that lives far away tonight, so i was wondering if we could hang out tomorrow instead. but we'll be in florida soon!!"

like the florida part was meant to soften the blow of hanging out with someone else tonight. anyway.

i was trying to figure out what it is that causes that little sting of jealousy when this happens. i think it's bc i have no one else. i think it would be different if i could hang out with my friends while he's out with his. and i dont like feeling that he's my only source of entertainment. and i really dont like the idea of him also feeling like he's my only source of entertainment.

so i came to the conclusion that it's not so much jealousy that he's with other ppl, but jealousy of his power of choice.

i'm still frustrated though. :?:

I can relate. I have no friends here in California. My boyfriend however is from here so he's got friends. I get jealous when he goes to hang out with them on weekends, time that I want to spend with him. He says that I can go too, but I don't want to. They aren't my friends. All mine are back home in Texas.

Go make a friend. And flaunt it in his face. LMAO! My last boyfriend moved here and met me and we started dating, he didn't really have other friends but work friends, so that left me as his constant companion. He'd lay on guilt trips when I would have girls night out and go out with my chicas. Then, he found a friend and started hanging out with him and MAN was I jealous of the other guy...lmao!!!
I'm sorry you are so alone, is it a language barrier that is keeping you from making friends outside of your relationship?

i would suggest you go shopping, looking around things, i usually do that when i'm bored. Or even just grab a book, an Ipod, and head to starbuck (or whatever coffee shop near by), and read the book, sometimes listen to some musics, and watching people walking by.
or, clean the house...

But the best way is to make new friends :) Do u have something you want to learn ? a short term class might be nice.

i guess it could be a language barrier... but i mean i really dont even know where to make friends ya know. most ppl are bilingual and speak english. or at least some english. but i wouldn't even really know where to meet them.

there is this hike thing tonight, in the park. it's like 15$. and i'm debating whether or not to go. it's just really cold here and really snowy now. but it would be nice to go out and do something.

i think i just need convincing to do it...

would you go??

I would def go

Originally Posted by Annita:
But the best way is to make new friends :) Do u have something you want to learn ? a short term class might be nice.

ok i totally agree with you about walking around... but i live in a suburb. so there really isn't much walking around or things nearby. like you'd have to take the bus and go into the city to do anything. and there's sooooo much snow so that makes it a bit discouraging.


in regards to taking a class though, i went to this drawing group like one time. it was fun and i did meet some ppl to talk to while i was there. this will sound really lame, but it's on saturday evenings. and i only see my bf on the weekends, so i wouldn't want to take the class every saturday evening, b/c then i'd never see my bf. lame i know.

Originally Posted by ghost:
I would def go

there's a foot of snow on the ground..... and it's roughly -10C outside.

but gosh darnit, i think i might do it!!!

it will be good excercise to try and stay warm and walk at the same time...lol! wear boots, tuck your pants into them, and a sweater under your coat and a hat and mittens and then, when your done, see if anyone on the walk is up for hot coffee/cocoa/tea...bam! insta friends!

definitely go! if it's that cold people will end up going somewhere warm afterwards and get a chance to talk more.

Originally Posted by ghost:
it will be good excercise to try and stay warm and walk at the same time...lol! wear boots, tuck your pants into them, and a sweater under your coat and a hat and mittens and then, when your done, see if anyone on the walk is up for hot coffee/cocoa/tea...bam! insta friends!

unfortunately, i do not have boots. so that part sucks a bit. but the coffee idea is phenomenal... you are good. i seriously would never have thought of that on my own. hah

i'm hoping that someone speaks english. even just a little bit.

btw, the hike is kinda called "Randonnée Pédestre à la Pleine Lune pour Célibataires" which basically means full moon hike for singles.

im not single. does that mean that i can't go.

Originally Posted by stellart:
ok i totally agree with you about walking around... but i live in a suburb. so there really isn't much walking around or things nearby. like you'd have to take the bus and go into the city to do anything. and there's sooooo much snow so that makes it a bit discouraging.


in regards to taking a class though, i went to this drawing group like one time. it was fun and i did meet some ppl to talk to while i was there. this will sound really lame, but it's on saturday evenings. and i only see my bf on the weekends, so i wouldn't want to take the class every saturday evening, b/c then i'd never see my bf. lame i know.

i see, So weather is also another reason makes it hard :( When it comes to weather and snow... all of our sources seem more limited than ever.

about that drawing group, i don't think it's lame at all. If i were you, i would choose to spend saturday with my bf as well. Don't they have other classes or other time schedule? i think most groups/schools open couple of times a week so their time will somehow meet your schedule.

Do you like knitting? if not then maybe you want to learn it? :p it's also a reaaaally good way of spending times. Or cooking new recipes? I love trying new recipes when i'm bored because it's so exciting to see the outcome that i don't know yet :p

P/S: ~_~ i sound like a good housewife with all the house-work i suggest you >"<

hmmmm....well, you'll be alone...an opportunity to make friends, doesnt' mean you HAVE to hook up with anybody in a romantic sense.

oh btw, aren't u married? if not then legally you're single :p
it's an opportunity to change atmosphere and make new friends so totally suggest you go ^^

Yeah, I lived in a small town in a foreign country for several years and VERY few people to hang out with. I felt jealous when my roommate would spend time with other people, because I had no one else. I think it's normal to feel that way. I think it's important to realize that your boyfriend is trying to be nice to you, he's not trying to hurt you. And realize that your feelings are normal and ok.