etiquette question
 

Okay, this is a hard one. My office is having a baby shower for a lady that works for one of our clinics in a village. I've never met the woman, or her child and everytime I've ever had dealings with her for work she's been rude to me and has even complained about me to my boss saying that I was not helpful enough to her. Well, there is this email going around about how the babyshower will be absentee and to bring the gifts unwrapped and we'll all wrap them at the "party" which is really our regularly scheduled staff meeting which I must attend. I don't have alot of spare cash, especially around this time of year and I don't want to spend any money on this woman. What do I do? HELP!

dont spend it :P Im a pretty bad person like that, if everyone knew she was rude to me i wouldnt buy her anything. Maybe get her a card wishing her all the best xD

go in on a gift with others so you only pool a few bucks each maybe?

I like a card and a gift card (visa $25) so they can use it anywhere.

If you don't even know her, I wouldn't worry about it. If you feel guilty then do what Paula suggested. I don't give gifts out of obligation. I think it's stupid and I dont like being fake. She complained on you to your boss? lol there aint no way I'd give her anything. But I'm not that nice of a person, so don't go on what I would do. lol

The problem here is that this really isn't an etiquette issue. Properly, no one who isn't a personal friend should be invited to a baby shower. And office baby showers should be done in such a way that no one person is singled out for giving a gift. So the etiquette issue is really on your office's side.

What this is .. for you, unfortunately .. is an office politics issue. And the problem here is that if everyone is bringing a gift to wrap and you are the only person who shows up w/out one, it'll be obvious.

I'd say that in this situation, you should bring a token gift. You don't have to spend a lot of money or do anything extravagant, but you should bring something so you don't appear to not be a team player.

It sucks, but I think you have to just bite the bullet on this one.

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I'd get a package of cheapie diapers, see if anyone gets the message, hehehehe.

Sigh. Hafta be nice? Okay, then, as someone suggested, to keep in on the office politics, hit up the dollar store or something and get a super-cheap gift. Under $10. There's something to wrap, but you haven't spent anything substantial on this woman you don't even like.

Personally I would not get her anything. But if you want to, get a bunch of socks and bibs or something from wallmart:P

And I would have to agree with photochick... Baby showers are supposed to be personal, they should keep it out of the business. It's not like you go to work bragging that you had the greatest sex last night. Personal life and business life are supposed to be seperate. Don't they have rules for these kinds of things? lol

Call in sick that day.

All I have to say is bleh tacky! But that's more for the required staff meeting party wrapping hour. I mean, it's one thing to have a shower on a lunch break or something for people who want to come and bring something but another to expect people to show up something to a meeting unwrapped so you can judge them for whatever they chose to bring, if anything. I say screw 'em!

A hallmark card!

Things like that are just plain tacky. Take her a crappy gift that costs under five dollars and be done with it!

OOOOOOOOOOOOhhhhh....love the Dollar Store idea...DING, DING, DING..we have a winner

Originally Posted by Thighs Be Gone:
Things like that are just plain tacky. Take her a crappy gift that costs under five dollars and be done with it!

OOOOOOOOOOOOhhhhh....love the Dollar Store idea...DING, DING, DING..we have a winner

I was thinking the same thing!! It sucks to be obligated to do something like this when its for someone you don't really know, definitely don't care for/about! We had to do something similiar in my office but the baby shower was after work, in the office. The girl didn't really know me or didn't like me, she didn't give me an invitation. I didn't bring a gift nor attend the party. Some other co-workers asked me what I got her and why wasn't I staying. I was able to say, "I wasn't invited".

Thank you all, I am taking all your suggestions under advisement. There are other ppl in our office that are miffed about this also. We think its a forced thing because she was complaining that her real friends and family didn't do a shower for her.