GIRLS! I would really like some opinions about something that has just happened!
So, when I went home for Thanksgiving, all of my friends who I hadn't seen in a while seemed to be really impressed/happy for me about how much weight I've lost, which is sooo awesome and I'm so glad that they're supporting me. I never really bring it up with anyone, but I guess it's gotten to the point where I've lost an amount that's significant enough that I would not longer be able to deny the fact that I've been trying to lose weight (even if I wanted to!). For the most part, I've avoided any awkward moments about my weight loss, because I feel totally comfortable talking to my friends/family (except my mom) about it, and it simply hasn't been mentioned by anyone else who I don't know as well.
UNTIL NOW.
I just checked my Facebook a little bit ago to see that a close friend's sister just wrote on my wall:
"so while i was home for thanksgiving, anna played me a few of the songs you perform with your choir. WOW. meredith you have an amazing voice.
p.s. congrats on your weight loss!"
AAACKK!!! Of course I'm really really flattered that she said that about my voice, heh... But the last part!! What?! I mean, I am 100% sure that she means it in a totally sincere way, because she's a really nice girl, and I've known her since I was ~6 years old (her sister is a veeery old friend), so I'm sure she's just genuinely happy for me... But something about her writing that just feels so embarrassing. Especially since it's written on my WALL, I feel stricken with this paranoia that other people will be looking at my page, and now it's just been broadcast to the world, "HEY EVERYONE, Meredith lost weight!!!" I know that it's obvious just from looking at me, but I don't like thinking that some random acquaintance might read that and think "Ohhh, so that's why Meredith looks so good lately, because she used to be a fata** but apparently she finally realized how awful she looked before and she's been trying to lose weight!" It just feels so awkward for someone to SAY it like that, and on Facebook! It's a compliment, I know, I know, but it's driving me nuts to look at it. I guess I just hate that she made it so public--I feel like something about me that I consider to be kind of private has just been posted for everyone on Facebook to gawk at. I wouldn't mind talking about it with her in person, but like I said, now it feels like the whole internet world is staring at me.
I'm feeling very confused, ladies! I can't delete it, because I know that I logically should not be insulted. But I really can't stand looking at it anymore! Basically, I guess I just needed to whine a little bit... I hate feeling like people are staring at me (well, over the internet--you know what I mean). Do I sound like a total weirdo, or can anyone relate?
I'd delete it. I have deleted things that are not the most amazing things before, and I just so don't feel bad about it. If it makes you uncomfortable, just do it. If she asks you, just say that you were flattered but that you felt weird having it broadcast to the world.
There is nothing wrong with keeping some things private.
i don't know why, it's completely weird, but i'm the same way. like, i told my grandmother not long ago that i've been trying to lose weight, and she was psyched. which is good, i do like the support and everything, but it's not everything i wanna talk about. it seems like it's all she wants to talk about it. and then she tells the whole rest of my family, which i don't really mind but for some reason it's embarassing. like it's just confirming that i'm the fat grandkid or something.
and i hate it if anyone is around when i'm writing down what i've eaten in my food journal. i don't know why about this either, but i suspect it's because i don't want to explain to someone that i'm dieting. and i don't know why that is either, but i don't want someone to be like, "you are? really?" and secretly think about how they can't tell or something.
also, if i tell my friends that i'm trying to lose weight they're always like, "...but you're not fat." and that's really nice of them, but uh, i wanna do this. it's my business. i don't know, i'm kind of introverted too, so maybe that's got something to do with it.
but hey, just delete the comment if it makes you uncomfortable. i mean, if the girl even notices, she probably won't even say anything about it. and if she does, tell her it just made you uncomfortable to have it broadcast to the world that you want to lose weight.
I wouldn't delete it. If you do, she could be hurt that you deleted a compliment. It's not like she went on and on and on and on about your loss and how fat you used to be and ... etc. She just gave you a sincere congrats.
I understand that this is a really personal journey for a lot of us, but I think we also tend to over personalize things like this too much. And we tend to think that everyone is looking at us and talking about us all the time. And you know ... one thing I've learned in my life is that really? They just aren't. People just don't care about you (me, whoever) that much!
If anyone else sees it, they may say the same. They may not. But it'll drift down to the bottom of your wall and people will move on.
Just let it ride. If you delete it, then you make it into a bigger deal than it is.
No way would I delete it!! Instead delete whatever it is in your head that making you so resistant a sincere complement.
I don't mean that in a harsh way at all, (in fact I understand what you mean) but sometimes we use weight issues to hide, and it's beneficial to remove all that baggage from the weight.....shrink your head while you're shrinking the rest of you, if you will!
You want to lose weight, you're losing it, it's noticable, people notice, they complement you....hurray for you! It's all good! Embrace it!
I wouldn't delete it. She seems to have had good intentions, and she gave you two compliments, which was nice of her. She probably thought you'd appreciate her noticing.
PhotoChick and K8-EEE are right, please don't delete it. What she said was very sweet and said with good intention. Unfortunately, you're seeing it with the mindset that all people think of is your weight issue, they're not. You've got to change the way you think about your weight loss and its connection to your identity. You've done a wonderful job, be proud!
Yo Meredith, bebe. I can see where you're coming from, I can even fathom feeling the same way...
That being said, I kinda agree with the latter half of the group here. Whenever I see someone from my high school years later, and they've lost a ton of weight, I never think, "Oh wow, they used to be SOOO FAT, EW." I always think, "Omigosh, she/he looks so fantastic!!!!"
Essentially, you won't be able to stop people from noticing your weight loss, and... yeah, sometimes you might have people draw attention to it. But it's such a good thing! If she draws attention to it, and people go out of their way to notice, they won't think, "Oh, she looks better now because of what a fat*ss she was before!!" they'll think, "Oh wow, Meredith looks fantastic! "
Don't be embarassed about where you were before, instead just be proud and happy of where you are now.
I d'nno, you can't change your emotions, and obviously you had an emotional reaction to her wall post. If it's absolutely KILLING you, then.. delete it. But I've had my posts deleted before for unexplained reasons and it feels like a slap in the face, especially if you don't have the cajones to ask why it was deleted. So, if you DO delete it, maybe let her know why first. She might notice if it disappears.
When I visit my friends' Facebook pages I almost never read what other people have written on their walls. I may skim it to see if there are any friends we have in common, but that's about it. I can't speak for every Facebook user, but I get the feeling I'm not alone in that. So I don't think it will be likely that every person who visits your page will even see the message. I agree with pretty much what everyone else said, that you should leave it. It was very sweet.
It's a very personal journey. When someone that has been a hater actually asks me about my own weight I want to punch them. Since you know it was sincere, I wouldn't worry about it anymore. Accept her positive comments and be proud of you.
As some of the girls have already suggested, I wouldn't delete it either. One thing that I had to learn when I lost weight before I had my baby was to accept compliments. It's one thing that I wasn't very good at. I think you should take it as a positive and be happy that other people notice! :-)
I'm always bothered when people say "Have you lost weight?" It's like... "Gee thanks for reminding me of how far I have yet to go..." hahaha!
I would take this compliment, however, and run with it. That's a huge self-esteem boost- someone you hadn't seen in a long time noticed how HOT you are looking and is PROUD of you for making changes in your life.
I agree with Jelbb- You can't be ashamed of where you're coming from, you just have to be proud of where you are and where you're headed. Take that pat on the back with pride.
(but I totally know how you feel- it's hard to turn that little offended feeling into a happy feeling, but you CAN do it, and it's worth it just to keep things positive! haha!)
I agree with most everyone here. Don't delete it. Who you are is not defined by how much you weigh. If you look great and feel great then run with the compliments. I'm not saying I don't understand because I completely do. I only recently started my weight loss regimen and I haven't' really told anyone. I guess I just want to start losing weight before I start telling people I"m going to try. So I understand the awkwardness but she was being nice and I bet she was proud of you. Everyone knows it takes a strong person to lose weight and I think she just wanted to show you that she was happy for everything you have accomplished.
I think that is great that people are noticing your weight loss. It is time for you to realize that people know and are excited about your success!! If any of your friends read the post, they will most likely agree! If not...well maybe they shouldn't be your friends!
Well - when you keep losing more and more weight, more and more people are going to notice it, until nobody really can deny it any more. And there's nothing wrong with that! It's not illegal to lose weight, it doesn't mean you were ugly or unattractive before, in short, I don't think it's something to be ashamed about. I am aware of the fact that this may be different for other people. But I have been quite open about it, even with people I don't know that well, and I have gotten very positive reactions. For example, this morning, I was talking to a girl that does the same internship with me, and we were talking about exercise. She said that she didn't really like it, and I said I always had the same trouble too, but that having lost 10 kg partly due to exercise was a huge motivation for me to keep going.
If you really can't stand it you can always delete it. But the other girl will probably would not understand why and that's something I can imagine - after all, she only tried to pay you a compliment. I think it's more important to get behind the reasons why you feel so uncomfortable with this comment. It might reveal to yourself some of your thoughts and emotions concerning weight - and help you to keep it off.
OMG, awkward, what can I do...?
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