Aww, honey, I know it's rough! The first thing I would say is try not to compare yourself to him. Easier said than done, right? I think my boyfriend is a cutie, and I constantly question why he's with me. (Until he does something stupid, then I'm like, "Ah, right, you're a JACKASS.
"
)
That being said, he obviously adores you regardless, so at this point... he's not your motivation. YOU being happy and healthy and pumped up and starting to get more and more FABULOUS is your motivation!
YOU LOST 40 LBS! That's such a fantastic victory, and so inspirational. And the fact that you're an inspiration to other people means you need to now work on inspiring yourself!
Honesty time. I'm in school too, and I have a job, and I'm stressed ALL THE TIME. I hate waking up in the morning, and dragging my butt to the gym first thing in the a.m. before I've wiped the sleep out of my eyes is a horrible experience.
So, you say that the long school days hold you back, right? What time do your classes start, and what time does the gym open? I firmly believe that you can MAKE time. It's just hard to muster the motivation to WANT to, and even harder to admit that you're not going out of laziness. (I *just* started going to the gym again. I told people that my classes and work got in the way... in reality, my bed was super warm at 6:30 am, and the outside world was cold, and full of treadmills.
)
Why don't you join in on the Biggest Loser Challenge with us, and you can benefit from the support of having a team to encourage you to get to the gym and eat well, etc.?