I realize this is super long but here is my story ....
“Wow you look great!” “How did you do it!” “I wish I had your willpower!” I can’t tell you how many times after losing 130 pounds that I’ve heard that. What people don’t realize is what they are really saying is “wow you use to be really fat, its surprising that you lost the weight, and I don’t understand how you can deprive yourself of everything you love to eat”. Or of course my favorite thing to hear is “wow you look so good, you must have had that weight loss surgery”. My response, “Thank you but no I literally worked my but off”. People never understand what a back handed complement that is, doubting my will-power, my strength and determination.
Now how did I lose get her. Someone asked me about my story a few weeks ago and I said I’ve posted it before but I’ll find it and post it again. Well I couldn’t find it so I thought I would just tell it again.
I’ve always been heavy. I really gained a lot of weight after my parents got divorced and then my mom got sick. I went to college, lived in the dorms for 5 years with an all-you-can eat buffet three meals a day, plus my excessive drinking, lots of real pop, and of course junk food all the time. All of the sudden it was April 2006, I went to the doctor for missing periods, and was diagnosed with PCOS and stepped on the scale for the first time in at least 5 years and weighed 300 pounds. Three-hundred-pounds. I couldn’t believe it. Then when I got the paperwork from the doctor and it said that horrible word that no one ever wants to hear “obese”. The doctor discussed my weight and told me I was pre-diabetic. Another blow. I was scared and came to one major realization … I was slowly killing myself with food. I was on the fast track to diabetes, heart disease, high cholesterol, and a heart attack. I was committing suicide with food. One doughnut at a time.
I decided at that point that I would change my life. I struggled at first, its really hard to do. I don’t actually count that as my start. I was still living in the dorms, I tried to make healthier choices. My first major change … no sugar. I cut out pop, candy, cake, everything with sugar. Then I moved into my own apartment, started law school, and fully committed to my new lifestyle. I started eating healthy. By the end of October I had lost over 50 pounds. I then decreased my calories and decreased my fat intake. No fried food, baked instead. No butter, seasonings instead. I learned to love cooking. I became the master of counting calories and of course I love exercising, running, biking, elliptical. I love the adreline rush I get from working out.
For a couple of months I had re-occurring heartburn and back pain on my right side. I discounted it. Heartburn had to do with stress and the back pain was the fact that I’d had back problems. Well I was wrong. Apparently my gallbladder was destroyed. I ended up in the emergency room twice in two weeks, ended up spending 6 days in the hospital, had my liver start to shut down and eventually and ERCP to remove stones and then my gallbladder removed. Why does this have to do with my weight loss? After that I had to stick to a low fat diet or well things were not go.
Eventually, in October 2007, though diet and exercise I lost 130 pounds. One Hundred and Thirty Pounds. That’s a small person. I continued to count calories, added sugar back in limited quantities, and of course keep exercising. I continued doing that for another year and my weight maintained. I was trying to lose more weight, I tried adjusting exercise, calories, cutting sugar back out, increasing water back up. But still sitting at 170 pounds. What bothered me the most was not what the scale said, what bothered me is I didn’t look how I wanted to. My breast look deflated and I look fat because there are rolls of excesses skin.
I finally in October 2008 went to a plastic surgery and she said regardless of how much I work out and how well I eat I would never be able to get that skin off and probable not lose more weight. I had a tiny frame. I would have never expected to be told that I had a tiny frame but I do with a skin suit over it. So, now, I have a tummy tuck and breast lift/augmentation planned for December. The doctor anticipates that she will remove at least 10 pounds from my abdomen. 10 pounds. Wow. I still need a lower body lift and probable my arms fixed but the tummy tuck and breast lift/augmentation will last 6 hours and the other surgeries will probable last at least 6 hours so I can’t have both at one time. When I get the lower body lift I’ll probably lose as much as the tummy tuck.
What do I love about losing weight? I love that I can climb a flight of stairs. I can run, I can exercise, I ENJOY exercising. I feel great. I look great. I get hit on in the bar. People respect me more. It’s helped my career because I find people don’t respect the fat girl and they certainly don’t want to put the fat girl on TV (I’ve done like 5 TV interviews including Good Morning America for one of my internships). And lastly I did it for me. I lost the weight for me because I wanted be healthy and feel better.
So that is my story. I hope everyone enjoyed reading it because as much as I was crying by the end of writing this it makes me feel so good to think about how far I’ve come.
And lastly what does 130 of weight loss look like:
Good job! It is so hard to lose weight & discipline yourself. Your reason for losing the weight are the same as mine. I don't want to kill myself with food. I don't want to die young or be sick at a young age with diabetes. Congratulations. Your story is inspirational. Thank you for sharing!
I really hope when you're ready, you post this in the Goals section- it's so inspirational I think it would help so many people! (as it has in the 20-somethings).
Thank you for posting your story. I'm so proud of you - of all your hard work! I hope your surgery goes well and that you are even more confident after that <3.
Thank you for posting that. Over the months that I've been at 3FC I've really come to respect you for all you have accomplished. Great job, and I can't wait to see the after pics when you are all healed up after surgery. You are a beautiful person, at 300 lbs or at 170 lbs, and not just for the outside parts that we see, its the inside that shines through every time you post.
Thank you for posting that. Over the months that I've been at 3FC I've really come to respect you for all you have accomplished. Great job, and I can't wait to see the after pics when you are all healed up after surgery. You are a beautiful person, at 300 lbs or at 170 lbs, and not just for the outside parts that we see, its the inside that shines through every time you post.
Ditto!!
Thank you for sharing your story. You are amazing!
The story of my journey ...
