Okay so I was on the elevator today going up to my dorm. It was pretty crowded, me and about 5 guys. One guy made a joke saying "what if some fat chick gets in and the elevator automatically reaches maximum capacity" (Which is totally ridiculous because max. is 2500 lbs.) One guy responded "that would be sad."

ANYWAY, mostly I thought he was stupid but then a part of me found it strange that he would say something like that in front of me. As I consider myself to be "some fat chick". My first thought was that maybe he just doesn't care and would say it in front of me anyway but then I thought maybe he doesn't consider me to be "some fat chick". At first I liked that idea...but then I felt bad for liking it. What do you all think? Was I wrong?

I would have turned around and prob. had it out w/them..unless I had my kids w/me..then I would have taught my kids in front of them, Kids, this is the type of things that we don't saay because they are rude and mean. I don't ever want to hear you say anything like this, because it is mean to other people.

and YES I've done stuff like that before..and ONE time; this was great...my 4 yr old said, Mommy, that lady said a not very nice thing to that guy didnt she? (quiet loudly) I said yes honey, she did say a very not nice thing. She then asked, why did she do that? I said honey, sometimes there are some not so very nice people in this world.

ooh..that lady was ticked...

but I don't tihnk you were wrong..I don't think peoples feelings are wrong you know??

I don't think YOU were wrong..he was! He made you uncomfortable and you tried to make yourself feel better...somehow. Anyway, I think people who talk like that have a very low self esteem and find that putting others down gives them a boost. Pathetic, I say!

I think at 164 pounds these guys did not think of you as a fat chick. Try not to analyze what others say, we never know what they have in mind,

I just can't get past that he would talk like that in front of any woman.

He may have been sarcastic or stupid, I still say don't fret about it. It is not worth getting your blood pressure up.

There are SO many dumb guys on campus, my campus is just filled with them. The walking morons who go to college to drink and get laid.... agh I hate them.

MarThat's such a great parenting technique! because your kids don't know you're being slightly feisty yourself, and you get to teach them a lesson as well as rude people.

I just can't stand rude people....

Trust me, at 164 lb and 5'5, you are NOT a fat chick, and they obviously didn't think so either.

As for the fact that they said it, meh. they're just dumb college boys trying to be funny or impress you with their "wit".

I also think man..keep on keeping on people..it'll catch up to you at one time or another...later in life...bald, gained weight...etc..

I agree. You aren't a fat chick. That being said, yeah, it was rude for him to say something like that in public.

What an A hole.

Key word: DORM

haha that sounds like something some guys in my last dorm would say. teenage guys like that just don't have censors. I doubt he was saying it to be mean. it was like he saw the sign thought it and said it at the same time. plus, he probably didn't think of you as a fat chick either then

guys are weird :P

Probably his brain capacity is too limited to understand that a lot of women are struggling with their weight even when they don't evidently look like it. (And I'm sure you don't.) I wouldn't worry about it. A lot of guys are so insensitive.

I have a fairly large extended family (21 cousins, only 2 of them are females) so I have spent a fair amount of time around guys. I find that they say things like that just to get a laugh out of the other guys around them. I don't think they thought you were fat, or else they either would have 1) not said it until after they got off the elevator or 2) they would have laughed hysterically and it would have been painfully obvious they were referring to you. If #2 happened, I'm sorry, but I would have started jumping a few times in the elevator. They would have shat their pants.

So here comes my psychology on this one lol...
I think most men don't mind heavier women, as long as they care for themselves. They feel pressured to only like thinner women and make fun of fat women because they think that is what they are supposed to do. The funny thing I have found - the same guys who made fun of fat people sooo much when they were younger now date heavier women as grown men. It's weird how that happens lol

One of my sister in law's guy friends critiques girls on TV, calling them cows and "disgusting." When he left after the first night he was over to watch a show with her, I said flat-out to her that I couldn't believe he would comment on peoples' weight with people like me around-- people who might get offended by it!

She gave me a strange look and said, "Jess, he probably does consider you to be someone who would be incredibly self-conscious about your weight. I doubt he sees you as a 'fat' girl, he just sees you as the gorgeous girl you are."

I still let loose a verbal lashing on him next time he came over and wouldn't shut up about some girl's thighs on TV (which were half the size of mine, and referred to by him as 'thunder thighs')... but it was nice to think that maybe when people look at me they don't just think "chunky."

As much as the idiots on the elevator are.. well, just that. Idiots... Since I'm 5'4 and only SLIGHTLY under your weight, I'm assuming our proportions aren't too far off... I'm willing to bet that they didn't look at you and think it was worth censoring their rude comments about people with weight issues around you, because they didn't necessarily look at you that way.

And hey, if that makes you feel good, like it made me feel good... what's the problemo?