Is this wrong?
 

Okay so I was on the elevator today going up to my dorm. It was pretty crowded, me and about 5 guys. One guy made a joke saying "what if some fat chick gets in and the elevator automatically reaches maximum capacity" (Which is totally ridiculous because max. is 2500 lbs.) One guy responded "that would be sad."

ANYWAY, mostly I thought he was stupid but then a part of me found it strange that he would say something like that in front of me. As I consider myself to be "some fat chick". My first thought was that maybe he just doesn't care and would say it in front of me anyway but then I thought maybe he doesn't consider me to be "some fat chick". At first I liked that idea...but then I felt bad for liking it. What do you all think? Was I wrong?

I would have turned around and prob. had it out w/them..unless I had my kids w/me..then I would have taught my kids in front of them, Kids, this is the type of things that we don't saay because they are rude and mean. I don't ever want to hear you say anything like this, because it is mean to other people.

and YES I've done stuff like that before..and ONE time; this was great...my 4 yr old said, Mommy, that lady said a not very nice thing to that guy didnt she? (quiet loudly) I said yes honey, she did say a very not nice thing. She then asked, why did she do that? I said honey, sometimes there are some not so very nice people in this world.

ooh..that lady was ticked...

but I don't tihnk you were wrong..I don't think peoples feelings are wrong you know??

I don't think YOU were wrong..he was! He made you uncomfortable and you tried to make yourself feel better...somehow. Anyway, I think people who talk like that have a very low self esteem and find that putting others down gives them a boost. Pathetic, I say! ;)

I think at 164 pounds these guys did not think of you as a fat chick. Try not to analyze what others say, we never know what they have in mind,

I just can't get past that he would talk like that in front of any woman.

He may have been sarcastic or stupid, I still say don't fret about it. It is not worth getting your blood pressure up.

There are SO many dumb guys on campus, my campus is just filled with them. The walking morons who go to college to drink and get laid.... agh I hate them.

MarThat's such a great parenting technique! because your kids don't know you're being slightly feisty yourself, and you get to teach them a lesson as well as rude people.

I just can't stand rude people....

Originally Posted by DRose:
Okay so I was on the elevator today going up to my dorm. It was pretty crowded, me and about 5 guys. One guy made a joke saying "what if some fat chick gets in and the elevator automatically reaches maximum capacity" (Which is totally ridiculous because max. is 2500 lbs.) One guy responded "that would be sad."

ANYWAY, mostly I thought he was stupid but then a part of me found it strange that he would say something like that in front of me. As I consider myself to be "some fat chick". My first thought was that maybe he just doesn't care and would say it in front of me anyway but then I thought maybe he doesn't consider me to be "some fat chick". At first I liked that idea...but then I felt bad for liking it. What do you all think? Was I wrong?

Trust me, at 164 lb and 5'5, you are NOT a fat chick, and they obviously didn't think so either.

As for the fact that they said it, meh. they're just dumb college boys trying to be funny or impress you with their "wit".

I also think man..keep on keeping on people..it'll catch up to you at one time or another...later in life...bald, gained weight...etc..

Originally Posted by bargoo:
I think at 164 pounds these guys did not think of you as a fat chick.

I agree. You aren't a fat chick. That being said, yeah, it was rude for him to say something like that in public.

What an A hole.

Key word: DORM

haha that sounds like something some guys in my last dorm would say. teenage guys like that just don't have censors. I doubt he was saying it to be mean. it was like he saw the sign thought it and said it at the same time. plus, he probably didn't think of you as a fat chick either then

guys are weird :P

Probably his brain capacity is too limited to understand that a lot of women are struggling with their weight even when they don't evidently look like it. (And I'm sure you don't.) I wouldn't worry about it. A lot of guys are so insensitive.

I have a fairly large extended family (21 cousins, only 2 of them are females) so I have spent a fair amount of time around guys. I find that they say things like that just to get a laugh out of the other guys around them. I don't think they thought you were fat, or else they either would have 1) not said it until after they got off the elevator or 2) they would have laughed hysterically and it would have been painfully obvious they were referring to you. If #2 happened, I'm sorry, but I would have started jumping a few times in the elevator. They would have shat their pants.

So here comes my psychology on this one lol...
I think most men don't mind heavier women, as long as they care for themselves. They feel pressured to only like thinner women and make fun of fat women because they think that is what they are supposed to do. The funny thing I have found - the same guys who made fun of fat people sooo much when they were younger now date heavier women as grown men. It's weird how that happens lol

Originally Posted by DRose:
My first thought was that maybe he just doesn't care and would say it in front of me anyway but then I thought maybe he doesn't consider me to be "some fat chick". At first I liked that idea...but then I felt bad for liking it. What do you all think? Was I wrong?

One of my sister in law's guy friends critiques girls on TV, calling them cows and "disgusting." When he left after the first night he was over to watch a show with her, I said flat-out to her that I couldn't believe he would comment on peoples' weight with people like me around-- people who might get offended by it!

She gave me a strange look and said, "Jess, he probably does consider you to be someone who would be incredibly self-conscious about your weight. I doubt he sees you as a 'fat' girl, he just sees you as the gorgeous girl you are."

I still let loose a verbal lashing on him next time he came over and wouldn't shut up about some girl's thighs on TV (which were half the size of mine, and referred to by him as 'thunder thighs')... but it was nice to think that maybe when people look at me they don't just think "chunky."

As much as the idiots on the elevator are.. well, just that. Idiots... Since I'm 5'4 and only SLIGHTLY under your weight, I'm assuming our proportions aren't too far off... I'm willing to bet that they didn't look at you and think it was worth censoring their rude comments about people with weight issues around you, because they didn't necessarily look at you that way.

And hey, if that makes you feel good, like it made me feel good... what's the problemo? :D

guys are seriously ******ed my boyfriends friends call a few of the girls i know fat- when really theyre perfectly normal just because they arnt anorexic doesnt make them fat!!
we will never be able to stop men from saying rude things
in all honesty tho- you are not fat! an u should never think u are (especialy when an idiot guy with ******ed standards of what fat is thinks your normal sized!)
bottom line- guys are idiots and you are not fat!

To get right down to answering the question of whether it was wrong for you to like the idea of someone not considering you a fat chick.... absolutely positively not!

As women who are on the quest to seek their thinner self, sometimes (or most of the time/all the time) we get too caught up on what we perceive ourselves to be rather than what we really are. And to that, if a comment comes from an unbiased party changes that perception we have of ourselves, then fantastic! because we need that reality check! It's blatantly obvious just by watching that show "How to look good naked" because when he sets that line of women up from small to big and asks his subject to show where she fits in, she'll always pick the spot that is 3 to 4+ sizes bigger than her.

Breathe in the wonderful sensation of being just a little less self-conscious of your size. Because society has quite effectively made even size 0's think of themselves as "fat chicks".

:D

Despite how insensitive guys are, if you're 162 lbs, you're not fat. Don't sweat it. Guys usually don't think things through.

This is OT but I thought it was funny...

I was at the "Body" exhibit (dead people with their skin off, it's a science exhibit) and the er... anatomy is in full view and this little girl said "Mommy, how do you tell the difference between the boys and the girls?" the Mom said "The girls have bigger brains than the boys do" hahahaha. It was hilarious. The daughter was like "Okay."

Well it's true ;)

Originally Posted by peachcake:
This is OT but I thought it was funny...

I was at the "Body" exhibit (dead people with their skin off, it's a science exhibit) and the er... anatomy is in full view and this little girl said "Mommy, how do you tell the difference between the boys and the girls?" the Mom said "The girls have bigger brains than the boys do" hahahaha. It was hilarious. The daughter was like "Okay."

this freaking cracks me up, seriously.

Yeah, it was pretty hilarious.

There's a tv advert in the uk at the moment where a young couple are sitting on a beach watching the sunset and the girl sighs and turns to her guy and says 'This is so romantic... what are you thinking?' so he replies... 'I wander... which could swim faster - a dog or a horse...'

The male stereotype down to a T, I truthfully think they say these things because they generally don't understand how us girls are offended - to them simple things are amazing and amusing and they really don't annotate everything like we do. Don't feel offended, you're gorgeous :)

There's probably a fair chance they were trying to impress you. Doesn't make sense until you remember all the guys you've seen try to impress ladies with belching, farting, fighting, fast driving, peeling out, etc, etc, etc.

From a lot of what I've seen as well often times "fat" girls who aren't really fat are more out of their league than anything else and that's why they're "fat." Makes it less about the fact that she probably doesn't even want him and more about him not wanting her.