Do you ever think about whether you're "pretty"?
 

Okay. I'm pretty sure this is a strange question, but this has been driving me nuts the past couple days, so I thought maybe it would help if you ladies gave me some opinions! Do you ever think about whether you're pretty? Yes, I mean in the very conventional sense, as in, having a pretty face. Personally, I've been overweight my entire life, and I guess I've never really given much thought to the idea... I pretty much did/do (not gonna lie) operate under the assumption that because I'm fat, I'm not pretty in the usual sense, i.e. I'm not the type of girl that will make jaws drop or that a guy would try to pick up based off of her looks. I knew that I had no hope of being "that" kind of pretty when I was very overweight, so it's never been important to me to consider it otherwise.

However, since I've begun to lose weight, and I'm somewhat seeing a "new me" emerging, I guess it's become more and more relevant to me. It's not so much that I CARE about whether or not I am, but I guess I'm just curious! It's impossible to look at yourself with unbiased eyes, and even if I could, I obviously don't have the mind of a man, so I have no idea whether they would find me pretty. I think I have nice eyes, and nice hair, but I don't like my nose, and I dunno; it's hard to determine what exactly makes a person attractive (I know I have trouble pinpointing why I like the guys I do), so how can I possibly guess if I am? I don't know if I have a pretty face... And I'm really curious. I guess I just want to know if I might actually be "that" kind of pretty once I lose weight... Whether I'll turn heads. :o Does that make sense?

By the way--YES, I know that being fat does not mean that I'm ugly, and NO I do not think that losing weight is going to make me love myself more, and NO I'm not going to devalue myself if I'm not "pretty," YES I have a very healthy ego, blah blah blah, so please don't psycho-analyze me or whatever. :D I swear I'm just being vain/silly/curious, and also wondering whether anyone else ever thinks about this. I remember a member on here once posted something about themselves like "Even after I've lost weight, I won't be pretty" and I guess it kinda stuck with me, because it got me thinking... Will I? Hehe.

Pretty is in the eye of the beholder...or something like that. I think what is conventionally "pretty" to one person...isn't necessarily to the next. I was told numerous times when I was at my heavy weight that I would be pretty if I'd just lose some weight. ...That sort of sticks with you.

I've always thought of myself as decent... but I guess I've never really gotten the attention or whatever it was that I wanted when I was heavier. Now that I've lost weight I'm finding that I'm having a really, really, really hard time trusting and believing that the guys I meet and have gone out with could really be interested in me and think I'm pretty. I don't know. It's weird.

no i don't think i'm pretty.
I was seriously ugly when i was in jr.high and people kept telling me how ugly i was back then so it got into my mind.
Even though i tried so hard to improve myself, but i still find it's not enough.
Now, people told me "you're cute" "you're pretty", but i just don't believe it anymore.
I wish someday i could see the new me in my mirror, not the girl in jr.high anymore.... I really need to boost my confidence. >"<

There's times my make up and hair turns out perfect and I feel confident and pretty. I, too, have heard from my grandma "oh you'll be such a knock out when you lose weight" and "you have such a pretty face". Meh, meh meh.

And then of course there's times I feel so ugly, I get really disgusted with myself. But lately I've had more ups then downs. I can notice the changes in my body, and I am so happy about them! I just get frustrated the changes won't happen quicker. :headache:

To be honest, I don't think I'm very attractive at all. Before I was with my husband I had been in alot of bad relationships, because I didn't think I could find anyone else.

Luckily my husband treats me like a princess, whether I'm pretty or not.

I always thought I was "average" looking, no matter what I weighed. I don't think I'm too hard on the eyes. But, I think losing weight would make me look much better.

Ive ALWAYS felt pretty , Fat or not .

From the time I was 12 years old till I was like 22, I thought I was dog ugly. So bad I hated going places and would cry when I had to leave the house. I don't know if it was necessarily my facial features or my clothes or the way I wore my hair, but I was damn sure that Fat = ugly. I had (have?) a total ugly ducking/swan complex...I thought when I grew up, I would shed the weight magically and suddenly be beautiful. I think that may be why I didn't seriously start to try to lose weight until I was 21; because I didn't magically become beautiful over night.

I've had jacked up self esteem all of my life and I still suffer from it. I know it's different now...I have the diary entries to prove that I was a sad, sad case back in the day. In my own defense, I really was a funny looking teenager. After I started losing weight, I started feeling better about myself and I could finally look in the mirror and not cringe. I'm actually more on the vain side. The problem is, I think I look good (in the non conceited way, that is), but I feel that everyone else still sees me as the funny looking (read: ugly) teenager I used to be. And if I'm completely honest with myself, I think I still have the thought process that if only I lost weight, I'll finally be pretty.

But I do wonder if that is the case...What if I still look in the mirror after losing 100 pounds and still dislike myself?

I'm comfortable with myself. I think I'm pretty and I get compliments. I dont think about it too much... I'm just comfortable with it.

I'm definetely not traditionally pretty- I'm too unique looking and my forehead is way too high for that! I guess I used to be sad about it, but since adulthood I could really care less, especially since my fiance thinks I look great, heh.

I don't think "being pretty" has anything to do with weight, though.

I don't think I'm all that attractive. I dunno. Some days I think, wow I look good today! And then others, not so much.

I'm really curious about it too. No one has ever told me I wasn't good looking. A few guys seem to think I'm attractive. My friends and family keep telling me how pretty I am, but seriously, what friend or family member is going to tell you you're anything but beautiful?

I would love to get an honest opinion about it-but maybe I wouldn't haha. I agree that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but I think that as a society there is a general concensus on who is good looking and who is not. I mean if there wasn't then we wouldn't have models or heart-throbs, right? So I would be interested to know if I was actually considered pretty or not. But as I said, I'll probably never get an honest opinion because how people feel about you usually colors how they see you (if they love you, they think you're perfect, if they hate they can always find fault).

its something that im working on. I think im kind of awkward looking, like the bits of my face are nice but not really in the right place or the right proportions to each other. But lately ive been feeling more confident, and prettier. Hmmm...

butterfaces
 

Well... this is kinda awful... but it's the truth... I feel bad about myself and my level of attractiveness because of my weight. If a guy does look at me in *possibly* a way of being attracted to me, I scowl and look away. It's just natural impulse to me because of childhood teasing, I assume guys are criticizing me/making fun of me.

But whenever I see a butterface (a.k.a. slang for women with "perfect" bodies- but-her-face!- ugly face.) I secretly feel a little superior. I think I have pretty features, just overweight. Someone needs to cue guys in- anyone can lose weight. It's so much harder to fix ugly!

Star2be- I can tell by your picture that you're pretty!!!
Everyone is different when they lose weight too, there's no way to tell whether you'll be prettier or not, some people get ugly even! They're normally the ones that lost weight waaaay too quickly though.
I've always wanted to see myself through a stranger's eyes. I try to tell by pictures, but even those don't show it right... sometimes the lighting is off, sometimes it's a bad angle, or I was making a funny face. I think I'm pretty some times... some times I even think I look gorgeous! But other times, especially in pictures, I think I look ugly! I don't like my hairline at all (I think it's too far back on the sides and I don't like how the widow's peak looks on my face... I don't like the profile of my nose... I don't like my jaw line (it's way too soft even when I'm skinny).
It's something that I'm working on though... and I actually think I'm improving.
Ok, rambling now, gonna stop.

I had a long and pronounced ugly phase from about 12-17. So that sort of messes up my perception of myself sometimes. I was overweight, had bad hair, bad glasses, bad clothes. But since starting college I've grown into myself somewhat at least and started dressing better and got contacts (and nicer glasses).

I think I'm decent looking now. I've lost a bit of the weight, and I know how to dress myself better now, which, for me, was a giant part of it.

For me, it's hard because I thought I was pretty when I was thin size 2 or 4. Over the past 4 years I gained 30 lbs and am now embarrassed when I see people that I haven't seen since my thin days.

One of my friends was a bathing suit model, now she's a size 12. She thinks she's ugly ... but I think she still looks great.

I definitely think I am pretty, I think part of that is due to the fact that I was home schooled through jr high. I developed early, so jr high would have been horrible!!

I also work in cosmetics, so I definitely emphasize my best features the best I can. Also, I'm starting to realize that you don't have to be perfect to be beautiful... your beauty comes out the more comfortable you are with yourself. Along with a little makeup in my case - it just makes me feel good to wear it.

-Aimee

I look at your avatar and think "pretty." I'm not just saying that to be nice.

Now, I have always been told "you have such a pretty face...it's a shame you're fat." And yes, rachiebach, my RELATIVES were the worst!

I've always thought of myself as pretty until I got above 300 pounds. My features changed by the added fat - got a double chin for the first time and my cheeks got too big, etc. I also got a bigger belly than I'd like, lost the definition in my waist, and started getting flabby; also, my body started changing in other ways - my knees started hurting and I started feeling super uncomfortable and in pain. Now I only think I look pretty when I have make-up on; it highlights my eyes and lips. And, it's super hard to think I look pretty in most of clothes (I have nice clothes, it's about how my body looks in them).

I am looking forward to getting below 300 pounds. :-)

I've been overweight my whole life and have always felt FOR ME, that being overweight made me not pretty.

I've been "cute" for a long time.. I'm short and I have big eyes and some childlike features... I always kind of thought that would be the best I'd get. Now that I'm 27, I think I'm a bit too old for "cute."

I don't think I have the right features to be "pretty." I think when I lose the weight (and possibly even now), I could be considered attractive to some. But not "pretty."

I've never really considered myself to be "pretty", though I don't think I'm really unfortunate looking, despite all the fat. Some days if the mood takes me I make a real effort to make myself look nice and usually it doesn't turn out too bad. There are other days though that I feel it would be a crime against everyone if I just left the house :D Seems like most people have days like that though.

My relatives are pretty good at making me feel fat and unattractive with the old lines like 'you'd be pretty if you lost weight' blah blah blah. My Nan seems to have that phrase down to a fine art :(

I was bullied in school a bit for being overweight but I was lucky enough to make friends with the nice thin pretty ones so mostly people left me alone.

My fiancé always tells me I look pretty no matter what. I guess that's sweet but I only tend to believe him when he's looking at me when he says it and not the TV ;)

The only person who I really believe is my best friend. If I look nice he'll make a point of it, if I look stupid he'll laugh in my face and insult me. He also doesn't hesitate to make fun of my weight, poke my flab and laugh at me. He's also the only person who can get away with it too, I like his brutal honesty (plus the fact that he's overweight too...though still manages to look gorgeous!). We always have a plan to 'lose weight and get pretty', though it's always gone wrong in the past :dizzy: Guess I'll have to do it without him!

What an interesting question. I guess for me the answer starts way back when at home. My mother was/is verbally abusive and hardly a day went by without her telling me that I was fat and ugly. I remember one time we were driving in the car and the song "She Don't Know She's Beautiful" came on. My mom looked at me and said "You know who I think of when I hear this song?" I shook my head and she smirked at me. "Your sister" Stupid stuff like that. No one ever told me that I was pretty, I developed DDs by the 4th grade and between that and my weight I was the subject of constant ridicule. As I got older I started hanging out more and more with guys and was treated more and more like a guy. As such you can imagine how little anyone ever told me that I was pretty. Instead they told me how hot they thought other girls were. However, as I finished up high school and started college men started to notice me and I really started to notice myself. I lost a whole lot of weight and realized that that didn't really change how "pretty" I was. It did make me start paying attention to how I dressed, did my hair, etc. Those things started to make me feel pretty. I turned into a huge flirt, which I have to say, is SO MUCH fun! :P Now I still have my hangups of course. I still have days where I look in the mirror and shudder, and regaining all the weight put me through a definite "I'm a hideous monster" phase but at the core of it I can now honestly say that yes, I think I'm pretty. My BF helps a lot on those days when I feel low. He treats me not only like a princess, but like a beautiful woman and I can't help but fill up with happy pride when he looks at me in THAT way. And I'm rambling.

*Hugs to you all*
And by the way...I think you are all beautiful AND pretty! :)

~Sidheag

Pretty? No, I will never be pretty. I have strong features, curly-Q hair, and a body type that has never been the traditionally classical shape for beauty. BUT- I am as striking, handsome, arresting, unforgettable, and unique as I can be (well, on a good day)! I'll take that kind of attractiveness over just "pretty" anyday!

since i got through that horrible teenage stuff (relentless acne) i've generally thought of myself as pretty, most days. now that i'm losing weight, i'm starting to see the tiniest hint of cheekbones, and have a feeling that my 40's are going to be my hottest decade, by far! :)

I am not pretty but I've gotten to the point of accepting it..almost. I've been told I look like a horse, like a monkey and it's been said I'm the ugliest girl in the world (thanks jerk face!). My features are out of proportion and just don't make for a pretty face at all. But, oh well. Not everyone on earth is pretty. I'm sure my husband thinks I am and I know God thinks I am, so that is good enough for me.

I'll honestly admit that I have to be constantly told that I'm pretty/beautiful/sexy because if I'm not looking at a reflection, I forget.

Too many years of being the ugly duckling I suppose. :p

And i don't think the question "am i pretty?" is vain.... it's about as conceited as "does this make my butt look big?", and I'm pretty sure many of us have asked or at least thought that once or twice. ;)

I've always been told that I "have a pretty face." Which, depending on my mood, will make me feel happy or it will make me feel like crap because I go "auhghh my body's so grosssss." But that's why I'm here, to fix that body part ;)
(Don't look at my avatar-- not an accurate representation of my face :p)

My ex always tells me that I'm one of those lucky girls that can still be pretty without makeup and not look like she's sick. So I guess that's pretty cool.

So to answer your question about whether *I* think I'm pretty or not, sometimes I do, but some days where everything's got me down, I don't. Just depends on what days you catch me.

Wow, I'm so glad to see how many responses this thread has gotten, and to know that I'm not the only one who thinks about this! I would have to say that I think I'm fairly average-looking, too. I think the right makeup, haircut, and even the right clothes, etc can all have a big impact on the overall effect, too, and I am pleased to say that I am very well groomed, heh. I guess it's just very foreign to me to consider that I could be anything other than butt-ugly. In fact, one thing that brought on my curiosity about this whole thing was when I mentioned something to a friend (male, but he's just a really close/totally platonic friend) along the lines of "Eh, I don't necessarily think I'm pretty..." and he seemed surprised... He said something like "Well, you are, so it's not really up for discussion." I thought it was really sweet, and it occurred to me that it might have been the first time anyone's ever sincerely said I was pretty. Of course I've gotten compliments before, but it's usually like "You look pretty today," or "You have pretty eyes" or something, not just "You are pretty." There's a difference! I think anyone who has gotten the whole "such a pretty face" ordeal (which I have definitely gotten, too, ugh) can understand what I mean... :dizzy:

I do think I've gradually gotten prettier over the years, though. My attitude about my looks has basically become that if there's something that I perceive to be "wrong" with myself, I either love it or lose it! So I've had braces (my teeth were JANK before), I wear contact lenses, I've whitened my teeth in the past, I shave my arm hair (LOL), etc, and all of those things really and truly do make me feel prettier. And obviously, I'm currently working on the biggest challenge thus far, losing the weight, which also makes me feel sooo much prettier. Now if I can just lose weight and get my skin to clear up (grrr), I promise I won't even mind that my nose takes up half my face! ;) Hehe.

This post made me giggle because it makes me think of those self-help exercises where people are supposed to repeat phrases to themselves in the mirror "you are pretty".

I guess I just try not to think about it so I don't get depressed (I know, I know, focus on the positive). I guess I could look worse, and I look better now than I did 3 months ago (and FEEL better now). I just hope that some day, someone does find me to be pretty... *looks in mirror "You ARE pretty"*

I was attractive in highschool, went through a MAJOR frumpy stage after my daughter was born,but I have worked on the look LOL and take time to make sure the hair and make up is done well most days anyway haha. I have been told I am pretty, I don't think I am knock out but I don't think I am a dog either. I am comfy in my skin inside and out fat or not.

My bf thinks im pretty and to a degree thats all i care about..i kinda wish i thought i was pretty...i dont think im hideous but i think my face is really fat..like puffy cheeks, and i dont think its attractive when i look in the mirror. and seeing my reflection passing by shop windows is the devil :devil:

Lol, actually I always thought I was pretty. When I was very young I didn't think much of it. I thought it was just something that I was and that it meant nothing, and it really doesnt. I think I have this attitude cause when I was a child, people used to approach me and my mom wherever we were and touch my hair and tell me how beautiful I was. Grocery shopping, at the mall, at school, wherever. I thought it was so cool I didnt have to do anything to get this positive attention. Always made me smile. And still to this day, when a stranger comes up to me and tells me they think I´m pretty, it gives me a great boost... not that I need it... lol. But still, I don't know what people see attractive in me. I just know that people like the way I look... which is fine by me. But I'm not tall, blonde, skinny, nor do I have "striking eyes" as some people have. I just am what I am and people like it.

This self confidence in my looks has been present even at my highest weight. I didnt even know people didnt find me attractive anymore, I thought I was still hot!! since I didnt know where my "beauty" came from, I thought it was still there!! and maybe it was, I dont know.

However, getting attention for my "I dont even comb my hair everyday" looks have gotten me in the past, in a tough spot. I thought all aspects of life where that easy. Just wake up, be there and the world is yours... WRONG!! lol. but I think the essence of my thought was right, do whatever is right for you and you will be fine. I think I waas just lacking in the acting part... lol.

cheers for self esteem!!

I've never felt pretty in the traditional sense, but I think I clean up pretty nice when the occasion calls for it. Gaining so much weight through grad school and medical school has dampered my self-esteem in terms of appearance. But I've never felt that I am an ugly person or anything either.

I don't think I'm butt ugly lol however I dont think I am the picture of traditional beauty....perhaps unique..I know I have nice features but I do find it hard to think of myself as "pretty". My bf always tells me I'm beautiful or he likes this or that about myself and honestly that's all that matters...my ex would never compliment me or tell me he likes anything about me so it took some major adjusting with my current bf. Yesterday I had two guys make "eye contact" with me and look at me for a couple of minutes and I had to ask my friend if I had something on my face and then for a second I thought..perhaps they think I'm attractive...NOO I'm not out seeking men's attention/flirting lol. It just felt great to be noticed....and since I've lost weight I find I am dressing more stylish, doing my hair/makeup and feeling more confident....people notice confidence in others!

That is me to a T. I stayed in a crappy marraige for years longer than I should have because I was so afraid to be alone forever cuz I'm "so ugly". My boyfriend now must see something in me, because he's fit, and attractive, and I know he could do worlds better than me. I'm thankful everyday that I have him in my life. He's been the best thing to happen to my kids and I.

I always thought I was "striking" but not beautiful. I was a goth girl, so striking was what I aimed for I guess (: But since I've become overweight, I've branched out into a more "average" sort of look (Hey! Gothic attire is really expensive, and of course I can't wear any of my old stuff now...), darker skin, hair that blends instead of standing out. I miss that but I kind of thought I couldn't pull off the chunky goth girl look without being considered a carnival side show, so I wear whatever doesn't cut off circulation!! But at the same time, I've never really considered pretty to be a word to describe me and it doesn't bother me one bit.

I think I'm pretty, but at times, I feel that most of the world doesn't feel the same way. I guess that makes me delusional?

Most of my life I've battled with my self esteem. I remember kids telling me to my face that I was "fat and ugly". As I've gotten older, I've learned to look in the mirror and appreciate what I see, instead of running from it. I'm still going through the "phase" though where when guys approach me and my friends, I'm always the one left out. Either that, or someone will approach me because they want to talk to and get to know one of my friends.

*sigh*...maybe one day I'll be the "hot girl"...

I never use to think I was pretty, I was too heavy to be pretty. My face was round and so was the rest of me. I never was the one to get any attention when we were out.

However, now I really do think I'm pretty, I don't think I look at the same person anymore. I feel as though I am a compeletly different person. I looked at my driver liscense from 2005 when I turned 21 snd the one I got last year and that was the first time it hit me I'm a different person and I'm really pretty, I understand now why when I go to the bar I'm the one getting hit on.

Am I pretty.

Are you kidding? I've spent three quarters of my life.. wondering, stressing, crying over that question... wishing that I was as pretty as I wanted to be. Don't get me wrong, I have days where I feel pretty. But those days are far outnumbered by the days where I feel like I look like the bad tabloid photo of an overweight celebrity 24 hours a day. :(

It makes me worry, actually. It makes me feel really shallow sometimes that I put such an emphasis on appearance... and yet, I only do it to myself. I don't care what other people, what my friends look like, or how much they weigh, but of course, it matters to me a lot how I look.

Unfortunately, I tend to gauge how attractive I feel by the amount of male attention that I get. I know, how 1950s of me. :roll:

On days when I feel gorgeous, I turn heads. Other days, mens eyes slide past me to check out the booty shorts on the 5 foot 9 stick figure bleach blonde walking three feet to my left. Some days you just can't win, lol. ;)

grneyedmustang:
My friend Emily is Italian and gorgeous. We're talking... drop-dead, amazingly beautiful. Whenever I go out to restaurants with her and we have a straight male waiter, he takes my order while asking HER questions. His eyes never once glance at me. It's more depressing than anyone who hasn't experienced this can possibly imagine. I feel your pain. :(

Don't be too hard on yourself about that. It takes a lot of effort not to. Most of the companies that market to women tell them this is the way to tell if you're not just pretty, but an acceptable human being (which they more often than not conflate into the same thing).

And male attention is really no indication of anything. I moved from Minneapolis to San Francisco and got 10 times the attention in San Francisco I did back in Minneapolis, I didn't do anything different, I looked more or less the same in both places.

Also from your avatar you're very pretty.