Hello, I dont post often, i just tend to lurk...post here and there, but this morning im PI$$ED!!!!
Right now my husband and I just moved back to California from Kentucky where I met him with our two kids and sadly we are living with my parents until we can get on our feet. Well this morning I got up, got my two year old son situated with a sippy and cartoons while I went to go feed my baby girl, normal day. After that I come into the kitchen to get breakfast ready for my son and my dad is off work today so hes in the kitchen getting breakfast too. So I set my kid up with some oatmeal and proceed to watch my father, who is a large guy himself, set himself up with a double bowl of oatmeal and 4 pieces of toast smothered to death with butter. Everyone in my family knows im on a diet, so it should be no surprise that I pull out my morning protein shake for breakfast. I start to drink it and my father says, "my god!" I was like what? "there are 160 calories in that! Should you really be drinking something with that many calories?!?" And I dont know why I snapped, but it really bothered me! So I screamed at him, well you wanna know how many calories your stuffing down your pie hole?!?! and proceeded to add it all up for him and let him know HE had just consumed 3 times as much. I mean I know he was probably thinking he was keeping me accountable, but he made me feel like I was a cow chugging down a MC Donalds double thick chocolate shake!
Sorry for the length and unessesary details, but I just needed to rant. Do you guys ever have problems with people maybe trying to be supportive (maybe not) that open their mouth with no knowledge of dieting at all????
Obviously someone who has no idea what a calorie is, or how they're counted. A 160 calorie breakfast is basically starvation level. I wouldn't call him a hypocrite, I'd call him an idiot, well to be generous let's call him ignorant.
So was he at all surprised at the calorie count of HIS breakfast?
Oh and my response probably would have been to laugh my behind off and ask him if he had any idea what a calorie even was (I'd make fun of him, basically, and not necessarily even meanly. I'd just find it extremely funny that he thought 160 was alot, when he was probably downing 800 or more). It's like a kid who thinks he's rich because he's got a quarter.
My brothers have done that to me too. but usually they're being sarcastic about how "little" I'm eating. Like when I have a salad instead of a burger they say "Oh my gawd D...that has like...30 calories.....that's like 5 times my meal" and then continue on to laugh at me.
I usually just chuck food at em. Or give punch em in the arms.
Ugh...family can be difficult sometimes.. I understand.
Wow, I see why you snapped. There are a LOT more effective ways to keep you accountable (if that you what you asked him to do, which I'm guessing you did NOT ask for). He is that thick-headed to not understand that? Family does tend to feel like they "can/should" say things to you because they "love" you. Maybe you just need to be clear that THAT kind of "love" is not what you need to stay on plan.
This is exactly why I haven't involved anyone in my day-to-day life with my weight loss. Even if they didn't say anything, I'd feel like they were watching everything I ate. For some people, this kind of support (people knowing you're trying to lose weight) would be a great help, but for me it is a deterrent.
I'm curious, how did he respond to your, um, response?
My father has, on occasion, comments on what I was eating, saying I "shouldn't be eating that." I'm sitting there having some string cheese or a peach or something lol. I just give him a look and keep on eating, but I see why it would make you v v angry. I think I probably got angry the first time he did that too.
Ahhh, hypocrisy. Gotta love it. There are so many reasons why I wish I had never told my mother that I was trying to lose weight. She's clueless enough that she probably wouldn't have noticed on her own, but now that it's too late to take it back, she's basically using it as a means to make my life a living ****. Like your father, my mom has taken upon herself to monitor my eating habits and comment on every single little thing I eat. If I decide to have a minor indulgence - a square of chocolate, a small cookie, etc (and I only indulge VERY rarely) - she always has to nose in and say something like "Are you sure you should be eating THAT?" This is, of course, spoken while she's sitting on the couch devouring a bag of pretzels with cheese spread or her third ham-and-cheese sandwich of the day... She has terrible eating habits, and yet doesn't seem to care about that. It's so frustrating, too, because then she'll turn around and do the opposite and try to convince me to eat junk because she's "worried" that I'm not eating enough! GRR! So you are definitely not alone in this. You have every right to be angry about your father's comment, it was uncalled for and yes, extremely hypocritical. There's nothing wrong with you having a protein shake for breakfast, and from what you said it sounds like his meal was far more similar to a McDonald's double-thick chocolate shake!
DH has occasionally made those kinds of remarks -I mentioned wanting Chinese food one day and he immediately said in a very sharp voice "well, you can't have soup, you can't have an egg roll, and you'll have to be careful the entire rest of the weekend if you do". He had made a couple of other similar comments, but is otherwise supportive about the whole thing, so I was pretty confused. So, I asked him why he said things like that and he says "you've been pretty obsessive about this whole diet thing for a while and I know if you go off the edge tonight you'll regret it all weekend and beat yourself up for days. I don't want you to have to go through that." I had to point out to him that I might need to have that experience in order to learn from it, him stopping me wasn't teaching me anything... Since then, he hasn't made those kinds of comments. It is more "whatever you feel comfortable with." I have also stopped talking excessively about the calorie counting thing so he won't think I'm being crazy. Of course, a side effect of that is that I believe is that now he has slipped with his counting and he was doing it more than me at first...
Sorry your dad was such a twit... Heck, my protein smoothie this morning ended up being 285 calories, what would he have said to me!
I'm curious, how did he respond to your, um, response?
He blamed my outburst on the fact that I am running on little sleep (6 week old NOCTURNAL girl, and 2 year old EARLYBIRD boy, plus Type 1 Diabetic husband who gets sleep priority cause lack of sleep messes with his sugar) So Im basically running on 3-4 hours of sleep a day, which can cause me to be a little , but I just gave him a look after that, topped off my shake, said, "ahhh, that was good" lol, and walked off...but he did just have lunch and he had a bowl of cheerios with a nectarine cut up in it, lol, not his usual lunch of 2 sandwiches and a ton of cheetos, lol. I must have made an impact with the amount of his calories, lol.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Star2Be
I wish I had never told my mother
Yea Im starting to wish I had never told my mom too. Shes the type that right now she is 5'7" 135lbs and complains all day about how fat she is. Now shes like asking me everyday how the diet is going, but not in a good way, in a have you screwed up and failed yet? kinda way. I think my mom is afraid of the idea of me losing weight. I dont know why, but she just acts like she doesnt want me to or that she doesnt believe that I can. It sucks..
The other day my husband was leaving to go to the store and asked what all I needed. I told him the basics, toilet paper, soap, ...etc. WEll after he got out the door my stepdaughter said she was craving something sweet. I told her to run out and tell her dad to pick up a box of snack cakes. She came back in with her head hanging down with him following behind. He comes back in and says"You have got to be kidding me." She had went out and said that I told her to tell him to get the snack cakes. Anyway, I understand why he would be ticked since I spend a hundred a week on my health food, but for some reason it rubbed me the wrong way. It made me feel like a big fatty that was begging for food. I told him not to get them and that I was going to put the lock on the door and if he came back with them he wouldnt get in..lol.
I understand where you are coming from for being upset. I've been there many a time. My husband reminds me constantly (while he stuffs his face with artery clogging grease) that my cheat day isn't until Friday.
but he did just have lunch and he had a bowl of cheerios with a nectarine cut up in it, lol, not his usual lunch of 2 sandwiches and a ton of cheetos, lol. I must have made an impact with the amount of his calories, lol
__________________________________________________ ______________
HAHA, well that's at least a little bit of PAYBACK!
Parents and family in general can be such a pain. Especially when you know that "trying to help," is also wrapped up in criticism, jealousy, or other negative emotions.
My husband will scold me if I graze in the kitchen in the evenings, but then 2 hours later will say "I'm going to Taco Bell - do you want me to bring you anything?"
Helllloooooooo? You scold me for eating a 1/2 a pita with peanut butter, but you ask me if I want crunchy, cheesy, greasy goodness 2 hours later?
I don't tell anybody I am dieting that way I avoid unwanted comments from the diet police. If someone makes a comment on what I am eating, I just say"that's all I feel like today" and go on to another subject.
He blamed my outburst on the fact that I am running on little sleep (6 week old NOCTURNAL girl, and 2 year old EARLYBIRD boy, plus Type 1 Diabetic husband who gets sleep priority cause lack of sleep messes with his sugar) So Im basically running on 3-4 hours of sleep a day, which can cause me to be a little , but I just gave him a look after that, topped off my shake, said, "ahhh, that was good" lol, and walked off...but he did just have lunch and he had a bowl of cheerios with a nectarine cut up in it, lol, not his usual lunch of 2 sandwiches and a ton of cheetos, lol. I must have made an impact with the amount of his calories, lol.
I just want to give you a big hug and say you are amazing. It would be easy to give up, on more than just the dieting, but you aren't. You've taken what life has dealt and making the best of it. Are there hard days? Yes, I am sure of that. But you are making a difference, for yourself, your children, and apparently now your father as well. You must have a tough skin to put up with their "comments", but I applaud you and wish you all of the luck in the world. You are going to be fine, you'll show them all!
What a Hypocrite!!! *rant*
and proceeded to add it all up for him and let him know HE had just consumed 3 times as much. I mean I know he was probably thinking he was keeping me accountable, but he made me feel like I was a cow chugging down a MC Donalds double thick chocolate shake! 
.
Like your father, my mom has taken upon herself to monitor my eating habits and comment on every single little thing I eat. If I decide to have a minor indulgence - a square of chocolate, a small cookie, etc (and I only indulge VERY rarely) - she always has to nose in and say something like "Are you sure you should be eating THAT?" This is, of course, spoken while she's sitting on the couch devouring a bag of pretzels with cheese spread or her third ham-and-cheese sandwich of the day... She has terrible eating habits, and yet doesn't seem to care about that. It's so frustrating, too, because then she'll turn around and do the opposite and try to convince me to eat junk because she's "worried" that I'm not eating enough! GRR! So you are definitely not alone in this. You have every right to be angry about your father's comment, it was uncalled for and yes, extremely hypocritical. There's nothing wrong with you having a protein shake for breakfast, and from what you said it sounds like his meal was far more similar to a McDonald's double-thick chocolate shake! 
Heck, my protein smoothie this morning ended up being 285 calories, what would he have said to me!
