I feel myself falling back into my old ways. I went through a time where I was very unhealthy and exercise was a part of that. I would do 1.5 hours of cardio plus 45-60 min of weights 6-7 days a week. The down side was that I would eat <800 cals. Bad times...
Anyways, I have recently started working out again. The past 4 days I have done 60 min, 30 min, 45 min and 90 min of cardio respectively. Today my legs are sore and I told myself that it was ok for me to take a day off. However, my mind isn't catching on. I am sitting here feeling SO guilty about not working out. As a matter of fact, I am going to cave and head to the gym in a few minutes.
It would be one thing if I did 30-45 min every day but I feel like things are spiraling back into an obsession. Yesterday I went with the intention of doing 30 minutes. Needless to say, I guilted myself into working out for an additional hour.
I want to get this under control before it takes over my life (it seems trivial now, but I know what I used to be like). When I was at my worst I stopped socializing because I had to get my workouts in. I would go through phases where I wouldn't stop on the elliptical until I had burned the same number of cals in an plane (747, 737, 777, etc.). Of course at the time I was on numerous diet pills. I'd frequently faint at the gym (it was at my complex so not major). I was truly a possessed person. In the middle of workouts I would run out and have to vomit, just to come back and get on the machine. I would sometimes watch an entire movie on tv while on a machine. and THAT was just cardio!!! The weights were even worse! I'd frequently use more weight than the guys that were working out in the gym.
You know the funny part... I never got below 180 doing that.
I am battling the eating issue (no purging, yay!!!)
I want to battle the gym part. I don't want to go back there but it is second nature.
Any ideas on how to moderate? Mental tricks???
Ok, I am off to get ready for the gym!
ETA: Maybe the gym isn't so bad if I have my eating under control and over 800 cals.... Perhaps the gym isn't an issue after all. I am so confizzled...
Edited again... I have been fighting the urge to go back to my old ED website for support. It's like I need someone to feed into me and tell me that being extreme is healthy and beneficial. On that site my workouts were the norm.
Last edited by SlimmingDown; 02-20-2008 at 10:53 AM.
You do tend to get obsessive, SD. There are people who develop problems too, over doing it at the gym. Overdoing at anything is bad, and you're going to struggle through this for a long time in many areas of your life.
You are not losing weight in maintainable way.
Plan out each day early, with a clear head, a day ahead of time.
Always between 30 min - 60 min cario daily - no more or less.
Always a min, of 1200 cals - below is starving yourself.
Make a meal plan, aim for 1300.
Never more than 1800 - it will limit your weight loss.
You're on the way to seriously hrting yourself. If your legs are sore, you're doing it wrong. You need to find satisfaction in something other then losing pounds. I think you really need to be in the care of a personal trainer, a dietician and the right kind of psychiatric specialist. I think you're at a dangerous point again and need this.
You're on the way to seriously hurting yourself. If your legs are sore, you're doing it wrong. I think you really need to be in the care of a personal trainer, a dietician and the right kind of psychiatric specialist.
I agree with this - you are not going to do anything but hurt yourself by continuously overworking yourself. A trainer and dietician would be a great way to plan out a health routine and a psychiatrist or counselor would be good to help you get out of the self destructive obsessive patterns.
When you work out - you are actually causing microscopic tears in your muscles. It's when you are resting, that the muscles repair themselves to be even stronger. Over time, this is how you build muscles. If you are not giving your body the time off and rest it needs, you are not going to build the muscles, and I worry that you may do permanent damage. Resting is as important to weight loss and being healthy as the workouts are.
I think you should set a limit to how much exercise you do.
You definitely should consider looking for outside help, if you think that would be good for you and would help avoid past destructive patterns.
In the meantime, maybe you can try limiting your "intense cardio" time to no more than an hour, while spending the rest of your time doing other body-related but not as demanding things, like yoga/mediation or learning a new style of dance.
Also, if you feel like you are guilting yourself into staying extra time at the gym, maybe you can do something to encourage you to leave at a particular time. Like arranging to call your parents/friend/sig other at 9:30 if you go to the gym at 7:30/8 (watching a favorite tv show, feeding your pets, getting your clothes out of the washing machine...)
I agree that what you're doing is unhealthy for your body. I don't feel that there's anything wrong with doing an hour of cardio, or even watch a whole movie while doing cardio as long as it is not too strenuous. I did an hour on the elliptical the other day but at a little bit more relaxed pace than I do my normal 30min and it was fine. And 800cals a day is asking for trouble. You need to eat 1200 plus. The reason you never got below 180 is because you were starving yourself so your body refused to get rid of the extra fat.
Whew! I was afraid that I was paranoid and that I was really being healthy.
Today I did go to the gym but I limited my workout to 60 minutes of cardio. I plan on starting weight training next week.
I have been in therapy for my ED in the past. Fortuantely I have basically moved past the eating issues, don't purge anymore and eat around 1400 on average a day (will up if necessary). I have just been taken aback by the need to over do the cardio.
My plan is to take tomorrow off and rest my body. Then I will do no more than 60 minutes of cardio at a time. Hopefully setting that limit will help.
I'm glad you did a reasonable amount of working out today to stay healthy but not drive yourself crazy. I've had my own ED issues and I know that its hard to slip into those habits.
General thoughts that may or may not be helpful
1- Working out 90 minutes a day isn't UNHEALTHY if thats part of your plan that you`re focusing on. It's kind of like.. intention is the important part when you`re dealing with over training. Are you doing 90 minutes because thats part of your overall plan, or are you doing it because you`re guilty or trying to work off calories. I've read that 90 minutes a day is probably the limit to effective cardio. Any more than that, and you`re really just starting to burn muscle which you DON'T want to do. BUT, if you're pushing yourself to do more than is reasonable for your plan, or you`re pushing yourself to ease your guilt then it's not for the right reasons.
2- It is awesome that you have the food part under control!! That can be so hard to break out of. But, over-excercising is also a form of purging if you do it to get rid of calories, so keep that in mind. Again, its the intention of the work outs that lead to the same kind of unhealthy thought patterns.
I have a hard time dealing with a lot of these same issues myself, so I'm not sure if I'm qualified or totally unqualified to answer. For me, setting boundaries and goals (like others have suggested) makes a huge difference.
Incredible Exercise Guilt
