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Old 01-08-2008, 01:03 AM   #1  
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Default Need help with motivation!

Hi everyone!

I am a relatively new user of 3FC and found the 20-something support group. I've been chatting with a few forums online, and thought this would also be a good place for my particular issue. Mainly, I am just struggling with the motivation to do what I know I need to do to lose the 10-20lbs I want to.

So, I'm 28 years old. I have a pretty high-stress job that I LOVE, but takes a lot out of me. Tonight, I started classes for my evening MBA program. SO, on top of recovering from mono and being tired all the time, I have work from 8 - 5:30 and dash off to class from 6-9. Tonight I tried to wait until after class at9:30pm to eat and I was STARVING and way overate. I'm going to have to eat before I go and have a little snack on break, and come home and go to bed. It's hard to eat before class, though, as work is usually crazy at the end of the day and I'm not all that hungry at 5. Oh well, it's better than what I did today.

I'm feeling pretty deflated after such a bad night. I know I need to let go of the guilt and move on, but I am just frustrated because I can't seem to stop eating at night (class or no class!) I think some of it is because mono has me feeling tired and when I'm tired I am so much hungrier than when I am full of energy... and also when I'm tired my willpower is down. Since I'm still recovering, I'm not supposed to be doing much in the way of exercise until I have the energy... so I HAVE to be very, very careful about my eating, but I am struggling so much to find the motivation. I even hung a pair of pants that fit me at my smallest, 4 years ago, right in the entryway of my kitchen so I have to pass them each and everytime I walk in to get more food, but I just ignore it.

HELP!I need a peptalk... can you ladies help me!?!? I'm also struggling with the whole "WHY DO I CARE" question... I know why I care, but right now it just seems easier to just find a way to be content with my weight now instead of put in all the work I'd need to lose at least 10 (satisfactory) or 20 (ultimate goal). UGH - HELPl!!!!!!!!
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Old 01-08-2008, 01:41 AM   #2  
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Hello!! Sounds like you have a busy schedule!!
Do you eat breakfast? I always have a hard time at night too, but if I eat breakfast, it's not so bad! Plus when I go to bed, I can tell myself " It's ok, you can have an egg in the morning!" Good luck!!
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Old 01-08-2008, 09:13 AM   #3  
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Why do you want to lose 10-20 pounds? Only you can answer this question -- we can't help here. We can assume that it's because you'll feel better at a healthier weight, your clothes will fit better, you'll feel more confident, etc etc, but you need to find reasons for yourself -- meaningful reasons that will really, truly motivate you every day to lose those pounds. Take a few minutes to think about it.

As for motivation in general, there are a bunch of great posts on this topic in the maintainer's forum. (Those ladies are generally full of wisdom anyway and the trip to the forum is worth its weight in gold.) Motivation comes and goes... it's a temporary mental state. Some days you will be more excited about it than others. But above all else you need to find the strength and determination to find a solution to your problem, and the will to stick to it. Even if you don't feel like eating at 5, if you KNOW you're going to binge when you get home if you don't, you'll need to make the healthiest decision you can for yourself. You know?

Anyway, good luck with your weight loss, stick around the forums some, we're generally good people
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Old 01-08-2008, 12:08 PM   #4  
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Thanks, ladies.

Mamaplots - I do eat breakfast, I think I need to eat more between lunch & dinner maybe.

suitejudyblueeyes - yes, there are many reasons I want to lose the weight. to look better, to FEEL better, to finally get the never-ending cycle of yo-yo dieting under control, to change my mindset from "live to eat" to "eat to live". I am not dating right now, so this isn't close, but I want to have a healthy relationship with food and a healtthy body image before I have children... I want to raise them in a healthy, nurturing household... I learned a lot of my dieting habits from my mother, and I don't want my children to see the same. What holds me back is I'm not a lot overweight, and overall I know my figure is OK... so when I've had a bad day, am really tired, sad, frustrated, stressed I justify it in my head.. I say "you look great now, who cares about those last 20 lbs" - BUT I DO CARE! Maybe I need to stop focusing on weight and the scale and focus on gaining control of food and stop letting food control me. It's so ironic - I have a successful career, great friends, a wonderful family - yet I can't seem to get this eating thing in check.

I know I want it, and yes, the fire is deep in my belly, but when I need to quiet the devil inside that says "just one more bite of X won't hurt..." and that one more bite turns into a full-on binge.
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Old 01-08-2008, 02:04 PM   #5  
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Those are some excellent reasons It sounds like you have all the motivation you need, but maybe you just need well-timed reminders of those convictions? This may not apply to you but it's an interesting concept -- I was reading a post in the WW forum about "anchors," which are physical objects to which you assign a significance with regards to weight loss. One example given was a woman who had strong memories of feeling fit and wonderful during a family trip to Disneyland, so the idea is that she finds a keychain or something from Disneyland and every time she looks at it she assigns significance to it, like repeating "I deserve to be fit" or "I will be healthy again." Then after doing this for some time the association sticks, and that object serves as a visual cue to stay on track. Another woman used a plastic drinking straw ("This is the last straw"/"The straw that broke the camel's back") to signify that she was done with her unhealthy lifestyle.

I don't know, I think it's a neat idea, and the concept of motivation is so fleeting and difficult to pin down, it might be worth a try.

Then again, other people post quotes and photos on their refrigerators as reminders, that might be easier

And just say no to that last little bite... maybe it won't hurt in and of itself, but if it leads to binges then you will be better off without a little more of whatever it is!

Good luck!!
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Old 01-08-2008, 02:58 PM   #6  
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Great idea! I'll figure that out. Right now I have my "Skinny pants" hanging in the entryway to my kitchen... I would love to have something to carry with me as well as a few things on my fridge. THANK YOU!
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