I've never been thin. I grew pretty quickly, I was 5 ft tall in kindergarden, and chubby. The first actual weight I remember was when I was 12 I weighed 178. I was in dance for 7 years, and swimming most of my life by then, but around that time was when I became extremely self-conscious. I quit both of those things at 13. It always bothered me before that, I was always called fat by other kids before then, but it was just something about that age, getting into boys and such that made me all too self aware. I really felt that I'd grow out of it by then, but I hadn't.
Most of my life, I stayed within the 175-185 range. At one point when I was 17/18, I got down to 153. That is the smallest I have ever been, although I still thought I was huge. Funny thing was, when I got down to that weight, people started speculating that I was on something, saying I was too thin. How is 153 too thin? That bothered me. My boyfriend at the time felt the same and kept pressing me to gain some weight. Well, I did. A LOT of weight. By the time I was 19 and off at college, I had packed the weight back on, plus some. By the time I was 21, I weighed my highest weight, 218. Now, I'm just struggling to get back to my "average" weight.
Looking back, although I was always chunky, I was never the massive girl that I thought myself to be. I carry most of my weight in my butt and thighs, and even at 153, the smallest pants I could fit into were 11/12. Now I'm a 14 or 16 (mostly 16, depending on the designer), and oh what I'd give to be back at a 12! I never had a bikini body, and I never will. Difference now is, I'm fine with that.
Good luck to each and every one of you.
