Big Ole' Vent

  • *Sigh* This is just a public vent, because I can stomp around my house all I want and it is not going to "get out" my frustration.

    (One of) My doctors keeps going on about me needing to lose weight and how that will make me feel better about my body, ect, ect.
    Meanwhile, I am in effing therapy for issues about body loathing and eating disordered behaviours. My therapist asked me if she could call him up to talk to him about this. But I said no because I don't want him to know about my ED&BDD (for reasons that are complicated and final!). I want/need to keep those two parts of my life seperate.
    But why, oh why can I never be "thin enough" for him? AND he also asked me if I was planning on getting more plastic surgeries and I said "no, why? what do you think is wrong with me?" to which his reply was "oh, oh, nothing."

    I mean, I know that I would like to lose a few more pounds, but it pisses me off that if my body won't budge for some reason and I am stuck where I am at that I just simply won't be thin enough.

    Also, I fear that should I be able to (here's hoping) lose 5-15 more pounds that he will STILL say that I need to lose a bit more.

    I mean, you can see my abs, you can see my pelvic bones jutting out....... what in the **** else does he want from me..............?

    I feel like giving him a slap. It is just his whole demeanour as well.

    And then, I sent him an email asking a follow up question about a treatment that he is advising me to undergo (and that I need so I can't just not get it) and he totally blew me off.

    I can't just not go to him anymore; because my parents think that he is so great and that he is the best doctor for these treatments (and he does business with my dad as well). So, because I don't want to cause my dad to lose business and because my parents will just tell me that I am reading to much into what he is saying and that I am just annoying him with my email and that is why he sends me a 3 word blow-off answer to a very important question about my healthcare, and because he probably is the best at what he does (where I am located at least) and because I need the healthcare that he is providing I can't leave him.

    So I am stuck with him and his frickin' comments about my weight and total lack of helpfullness.
  • doctors
    It sounds really frusturating SP?, just listen to your therapist and whatever to your doctor. It sounds like your therapist knows the whole story and your doctor doesnt so your therapist really has more important opinion.

    Dont stress, you cant change the way other people are, you can just change the way you let them affect you.
  • I definitely can feel for your situation. I have a specialist (hepatologist) that pretty much shamed me into losing my weight. I also understand now that no matter how much I lose, he is never going to be truly happy. I saw him again in December and he said "this new medicine might help some with your weight problem". I am 5'7 and was 147 lbs. on his scale that day (143 on my scale). This really upset me as I had lost 90 lbs. and felt like my wt. was no longer the big issue here. He then said "now, you're 5'4 right?" DUH, I'm 5'7 and I re-informed him of this. I don't know if wants me to be 110 or what. (He originally told me he wanted me at 150). I see him again on April 27th and I am not trying to lose more wt. now to please him. I like where I'm at, my BMI is healthy and I don't want to be any slimmer than I currently am just to please him. I stress out every single time for a month before my meeting with him. I can't change Dr.'s because he is the specialist that my insurance is paying for and the only one within a 4 hrs. drive.

    Very sorry to add my own Dr. rant to yours, but wanted you to know that I have a similar problem with my Dr.

    I am thankful now that he got me started with the wt. loss, (I wasn't at the time) but now I just wish he'd LET IT GO.

    I totally agree, from your post, that I wouldn't let the therapist talk to your Dr.
  • Doctors can be the worst. I know it can be tough. When I was little (7-10ish) the doctor used to talk about how fat I was to my mother like I wasn't in the room! Try not to stress out too much about him being a jerk.
    You're losing, if that's not good enough for him then that's too bad. You think they'd have more brains with all that schooling they get. No offense to any nice doctors in here.
  • You've lost 131 POUNDS! My goodness! It probably will take some time for your body to tone up if it needs to be. I wouldn't worry about what the doctor says. You should hold your head up high for the accomplishment you have already achieved!

    Tina
  • Exactly-- 131 lbs.. tell him to stuff it up his nose.
  • What's his BMI? I'm a snot and would probably ask him.
  • My advice is to find another doctor. He's an *******, who treats you bad and you shouldn't see him anymore. I don't see why you should pay someone to make you feel like ****.