hello all and I gotta question for the chicks out there. - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

SeekingBliss · 02-17-2007, 05:13 PM

hi I'm Bliss and new to this forum. i already introduced myself in the Intro thread thingy so I'll just jump to the question I want to ask all the chicks (and the guys too if they got an opinion). i just tried one of those bellydance for fitness videos and as silly as this sounds I'm feeling really feminine. Not like girly bit womanly. i'm not sure if I'm making sense but I wanted to ask if anyone else has felt that their weight camoflauged their femininity/masculinity? Just curious.

P.S. Sorry for the crummy speling.

Carobelle · 02-17-2007, 05:49 PM

Firstly, Hi there and Welcome!
I'm pretty new here too.
Then...
Absolutely! Even this close to my goal weight I still find myself feeling 'butch' compared to others. Today for instance, I work in a clothes store and some of the girls wear baggy kinda stuff and yet still look girly and sexy...and I was thinking, there is no way I could wear that because I would look like I was blokey or trying to hide something (my weight!) all despite the fact that I do have a feminine face etc.
Often just feel solid and chunky next to my friends which somehow makes me feel that they are therefor more girly/womanly than me... doesn't help when the guys at university are chatting and say I am more of a tomboy (they meant it as a compliment I think, because I get on well with them, plus do things like surfing...) but I'm not really, I dress very feminine etc.. it's almost as if they just assume it because I'm bigger than the little girly girls.

Sorry, two glasses of wine and a little rant there... but basically I'm saying yes, I feel it has camoflagued my femininity... somewhere in my mind I feel like I would somehow be more feminine if I was slimmer, even though I know that this is ludicrous!

muzikjunky · 02-17-2007, 08:09 PM

I used to be somewhat feminine, even at my largest weight...but then again I was almost always a tomboy..anywho...getting to the point. I tend to over size myself or wear baggy clothing to hide what's really under neath. Like the other day. I was shopping at A&N for some new workout/basketball shorts...and I got an XL...when really I should have gotten a large. I look like the XL shorts are trying to swallow me whole. At least they have a string to tighten them and they're real comfy to workout in. LOL!

futuresurferchick · 02-18-2007, 01:19 AM

For me yes, very much so. It's changed since I've lost weight but not as much as I'd like, so far.

SeekingBliss · 02-18-2007, 03:23 AM

I'm glad I'm not the only one. I've always been something of a tomboy too. I'd rather be outside playing in the mud or in my car than inside doing my makeup. I wonder if it's becuase of the weight? If that's the case then I appreciate the extra pounds because they've given my a chance to figure out who I am without the pressure of looking good for the boys at the same time. Still I'm ready to lose it (the weight) and I'm just going to have to learn how to handle the boys and being me at the same time.

I was just surprised to feel girly when usually I'm not that aware of my gender. Unless I'm wearing something low cut and make up

Anyway thanks for the replies and I wonder if anyone else will be adding. i'd love to hear more opinions.

brat_61886 · 02-18-2007, 12:49 PM

hey ladies,
i totally feel like that. for whatever reason all of my best girl friends are like a size 4 and then there i am, wearing more frumpy type clothes because i cant wear the stuff they do. and with guys i'm always the best friend and never the girlfriend. i think that if i was as small or close to what my friends weigh then it would be completly different story. maybe i just suck really bad at dating lol. i dunno. thank god i dont have time for the drama of a boyfriend right now in my life!!!

lizziness · 02-18-2007, 01:41 PM

Count me in too. When I started packing on weight in my teens I definately got butch. I used to wear skirts and dresses and now there is no way. I just don't feel comfortable or like it looks good...
I sorta went from femme to goth to butch... and now that I'm a little older and a lot fatter I just go for the "well it fits, so I should get it" look.
I honestly feel like I don't know what my style is because I haven't had to think about it or what I like or would like - being plus sized forces me to just accept the ugly crap that fits me as my style.

muzikjunky · 02-18-2007, 03:37 PM

I think the reason why I wear all men's clothes is because it's so comfortable. When I wear female clothes I feel icky & I pull at them constantly. I am now so used to wearing men's clothing that I don't know if I will start wearing feminine clothing or not when I lose my weight. Guess we'll have to wait & see.

Giovanni Bubby · 02-19-2007, 05:20 PM

I know I don't feel as feminine at this weight. I can't wear any of the cute clothes I have that make me feel hot anymore. And I definitely don't get looked at the same either...lol. I would say yes I cover up more and tend to be less physical with my BF because I am embarrassed. We are brainwashed into thinking bigger is ugly and that we can't be feminine. I always feel I am the "big" friend around my size 6-8 friends and looking dumpy in my size 16 skirts and jeans. I think if belly dancing makes you feel like a women then do it everyday!! If it makes you feel hot and sensual that is great, I think we should all feel that way no matter what size we are!!

Thanks for a great topic