Things are getting better. Just being aware of my emotions and though processes and how it all relates to food keeps me from doing anything destructive.
I finally was able to get an appointment with my counselor, and hopefully I can get back on schedule with that. I finally figured out that I have replaced my binges with my counseling sessions. So, I guess I have inadvertantly found a better way of coping! LOL
Metaphorically, instead of stuffing down my emotions with food, I want to purge it all through venting/talking. Definitely not self-destructive; however, I don't really have intentions of seeing a counselor for the rest of my life! Thats kind of expensive! But I also know that talking to friends isn't always an option because they don't always want to hear what is going on. I know I can always come here, but I find that I get more out of talking about things than about writing them (although this does help me to get my thoughts in order). I think actually talking through issues is not only a form of purging my emotions, but also just releases the energy with it which is why it is effective for me. I really don't know if this makes sense to anyone else... LOL
At any rate, I'm still chuggin along... down 7 more lbs. My weight loss slowed, I think partly due to my stress levels (also, my fluid intake was way down - no time to take a drink; and my activity is down because I am not at work nearly as often). But it is slowly getting better. Thankfully!

Hey Amanda,i know you are going through alot right now,but hang in there ,you have worked too hard to get where you are..Remember,take it a day at a time and do this for you,you deserve it.I have drilled in my own mind that this time i WILL win this battle and i am ready for whatever gets thrown in my way.YOU CAN DO THIS!!