I fell off the proverbial wagon and can't seem to get back on. For 6 weeks now I have been losing the same few pounds, over and over again. I am going to fail at my next (and most important) mini-goal, which makes me sad and want to stuff my face with food. The more I struggle to get back on program, the more I seem to fail.

Those of you have been through this, do you have any advice for me? I feel lost and ashamed and have been crying my eyes out for weeks. My husband can't decide what being supportive is and in the mean time I am spending $69 a month for a program that I am ignoring. AHHHHHH!

Help me please. I am desperate.

Sara

My advice? Check out my sig...change the wagon! Redefine what success is. Redefine goals. Look at other things that are going successfully (exercise, veggie consumption, identifying emotional eating episodes) and take your snaps from them. Sometimes a program that worked BEFORE doesn't work RIGHT NOW. Sit down and have a look at where you're stumbling, or better yet take a walk and think about it!

I find planning to be my salvation. If I were offtrack, first thing I would do would be to clean the kitchen from top to bottom and pitch out any food I don't want to be eating.

I would sit down at the computer and use the internet to find 2 new, fun healthy recipes for the week (maybe something involving grilled vegetables or shrimp in honor of summer?). I would plan out my meals (b/l/d/snacks) for an entire week. I would use Fitday in advance, to make sure I am getting the right number of calories, a good amount of healthy fat and protein every day. Then, I would make a grocery list. I would go to the grocery store and buy everything on the list needed to make/eat my healthy meals for an entire week. I would set up a reward for myself, if I eat the planned meals and work out at least 3 times, I get a pedicure.

Then, I would just follow the plan for 1 week. The following Sunday, I would repeat all the steps. If I stay on plan two weeks in a row, I get a massage. And then the following Sunday, I would do it again. Until the plan isn't a plan, it's just life.

I would advise that you be really careful about tying weight loss goals to specific time frames. In fact, although I still list 200 as my goal weight, I don't have any specific weight goals at all.

Goals are best made when they are tied to our direct actions, and we cannot directly achieve weight loss. We can only create the conditions under which weight loss is a logical outcome. I am not losing weight. I am exercising and eating right, and weight loss is happening to me, as a secondary result of my actions.

Therefore, I try to make all of my goals relate to my eating and exercise, and let the weight take care of itself. There are just too many variables involved with weight to predict what is going to happen from day to day, week by week. Sometimes for days or weeks I don't lose weight at all, sometimes I lose more weight in 2 days then seems humanly possibly without the use of a machete. I can neither predict not control when these things will happen.

So, don't worry about missing a weight goal. Don't worry about why the weight is wobbling in place lately. Worry about those things you can control- check out your eating, double check your exercise. If those check out okay, your on the right track, no matter what your weight is doing. If they don't, then that might be where you want to shift your attention.

One thing, though: don't give up. Always remember that you control the goals, don't let them control you. Good luck! And Congrats on 36 lbs lost! Don't take that success away from yourself!

Sometimes the harder I try to get back on the wagon a bigger and quicker fall ensues afterward. So maybe you need to take a break. Even if only for a couple of days. This way you can say to yourself that there is no way that you can fail for those days and thus you can't end up feeling frustrated. You can also use those days to re-group and be able to start again refreshed and renewed.
No matter what you end up doing remember that yesterday cannot be re-lived so there is no point in fretting over those mistakes. The only thing that you can control is how you eat from this point onward. Leave the past behind you and look toward what you are going to do to succeed tomorrow.

Some great advice already... I also wonder if you should take a look at your plan. Are you having trouble getting on track because it's not one you can stick to long-term? Is there something you can do to make the plan better for you to stick to?

And I agree with removing the deadline for the goal. You get there when you get there -- why stress out about it more?

I had never set goal deadlines for myself. About a month ago, realized to my surprise that it might be possible for me to lose 100 pounds in a year! After all, I started in July and it was April, and I'd lost 80 pounds already... wowsa, right?

Of course, I swear the second I had that thought, I began a 3 week weight stall... suddenly that "goal" seemed more out of reach... how sad, I thought, briefly, and then I realized how silly that is. I was never even trying for that goal. So what if I make it in July or August or December. I'm moving toward it, and doing so much to make myself healthier and fitter -- that's what's important after all.

Sara,

You have done so well so far! Look at those goals you have acheived and 13.8 pounds to onederland? Holy crap, I would kill to be in those shoes!

But I hear you stomping you feet at look at my comments and saying, "But I want more now!"

Ok, so you do! Yay! You could be sitting on the couch thinking about regaining all that weight. But you're not. Kudos for that (no, not the chocolate covered kudos!).

Let's change something you're doing. Sometimes you're body needs a shake up. Add a new veggie that you really don't ever remember cooking correctly. Do something you haven't done before - I highly recommend dancing but I'm biased. I once bought a basketball because I hadn't dribbled since high school and it kicked my butt.

Do you know about this? http://www.fitcitymadison.com/

Sometimes you gotta make your own inspiration: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/193...Fencoding=UTF8

Sometimes we overintellectualize (is that a word?) and beat ourselves over the head. Go for simple. Whatever your next meal is today make it on plan. Then repeat. And repeat. If your last, current and next meal are all on plan, you will do fine.
You know what to do (what an amazing loss you have had already!), I KNOW you can keep on keepin on!

Thanks for all the motivational thoughts! I am starting to feel like I am in control again, but it is very hard. My "relapse" into my old ways has cost me dearly in self-esteem and will power. I know I have a problem with being my own worst critic, but I guess that is because I don't understand my lack of will power. I know I shouldn't eat "this" but my hand picks it up and puts it in my mouth and my brain is unable to stop it. Hopefully my next weigh-in will show me positive results....

Thanks again to everyone. I do feel much better!
Sara

Oh, Sara!

I'm wrapping my arms around you right now

You can do this!





Linda

The wagon's been running over me for a couple weeks now, but I found out several things that have been mentioned: 1. I needed a break. I was exhausted from being "all consumed" with my weight. 2. I stopped beating myself up because I couldn't follow my "regular" routine. Things at home and work were WAY to busy. It happens, I dealt with it. 3. I was trying to do a program that had too many rules and that I couldn't follow FOREVER. (it sucks that this is going to be forever, BTW) 4. Planning had disappeared. 5. I was trying to jump back on too quick. I needed to concentrate on ONE part at a time (gym, journal, cals, etc)

As a result, I'm not so stressed because I feel I can't do it perfectly NOW. So I'm putting it back together slowly and feeling back in control.
Lynne