[roundRN]

Hey all....
Sorry I haven't checked in for awhile...I have been stopping by and at least reading all the messages though. I hope all is well with everyone!

As for me....I'm still struggling a little bit. I've been eating fairly clean on my WW and have really increased my exercise....especially with the addition of The Firm....but that scale isn't moving again...errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. I'm not sure if it's because of me building muscle or what? I do feel muscles poking out that I hadn't noticed before....and I have lost a half inch off my huge flabby upper arms...(the firm is great ) None the less, I wouldn't mind if the scale would start moving a little bit. It seems like I got off my 178 plateau...now I"m at a 176 plateau.

This morning after work, I went to our local tanning salon. I was standing there in the tanning bed room....in front of the full length mirror...without clothes...and I just about started crying. We don't have a full length mirror at home and maybe it's a good thing.....but man...when I looked in that mirror today.....I didn't see someone that has lost over 70 pounds. I saw a short, stubby little round person....full of cellulite....huge thighs...arms that flap in the breeze...ugggghh. It was so depressing.....I've been starting to look forward to summer and wearing sleeveless shirts and cute little shorts...but at this rate.....I dont know if I"ll feel comfortable with that by summers start.

I've been trying really hard to tone up and lose the rest of this fat....but I feel like i'm at such a standstill.... I guess I'll just have to keep working hard at it...and see what happens. Maybe I'm putting too much pressure on myself....all I can think about is the two music fests we have this summer....I wanted to be cute and tiny like a lot of my friends that go with us to these fests. They'll be walking around in their little cami's, swimsuits,etc.....and I'll be lucky if I will even look good in a pair of long..walking shorts.

I don't really know where I'm going with this..LOL...I guess I just needed to vent more than anything. I'm not going to get down on this...if I get down and depressed...everything else starts failing along with it. I'm just going to keep eating clean, keep doing my gazelle, my stationary bike, and my Firm. I really did lose inches in the first 10 workouts...(like the infomercial promised)...maybe if I keep it up....I will start SEEING some results. I have been able to up my free weights....from 3 to 5 pounds...so that must prove that I'm building muscle and becoming stronger...right?

Ok..I better run...speaking of Firm..I must do my workout now. I'll talk to you guys soon...thanks for letting me vent today...sometimes just getting it out is enough to help me "let it go" and re-focus.

Luv ya...
Liv

[Monkeybabies]

Olivia....look how far you have come!!!!! We are our own worst critic, aren't we? It is ok to vent...you've come to the right place. The most important thing here is to realize that you keep going and you don't give up! That is what got you here today. Keep up the good work (and don't look at full length mirrors anymore )

P.S. I am sure you will look great this summer....better than last year!

[lilybelle]

You are doing great with losing over 70 lbs. Try to focus on the positive and be proud of all you have accomplished. Good luck and Take Care.

[rabidstoat]

Ditto here! Of course, I still have a ton (okay, over 100 pounds) to lose, but I've lost almost 50. My problem is I can't see it. Heck, I've only gone down a single pants size! It's very depressing.

I remember thinking back when I lost this weight before, about 5-7 years ago. At the time I got discouraged when I got to about 160 pounds. The scale wasn't budging and I thought I was huge. I looked back at some pictures from that time, and I thought, wow! Yeah, I know I was still overweight, and probably (technically) by about 40 pounds, but all I could think was: "I look so tiny there!" And yet, at the time I know I was thinking I was huge.

I don't know. It's head games. Weird psychology, I guess.

[ChocLabLover]

Sometimes I think we are our own worst enemies. Liv, you have lost 70 lbs! How great is that! Obviously you are doing something right. You keep at it, the weight will come off. Please do not run yourself down, you are doing fantastic!

[Sandi]

Yep, the whole weight loss thing can be discouraging when the results are not what we expected. I know I will never be the person that's in my head. Somehow we just have to be happy with what we have done. Imagine that 70 lbs this summer in a backpack and you have to carry it around. Wouldn't want to do that for very long, would you? Now imagine it's still on your body. Whew! Glad it's not!!!

You have done a great thing. 70 lbs. Look how much more active and healthy you are. Pat yourself on the back, and no more mirrors for a while!!

[roundRN]

Thanks everyone....I"m feeling better today...I think it's hormonal..lol. I started Lupron for my endometriosis about a week ago.....and the drug takes you from a very high estrogen level.....and then down to a menopausal state...just like that.....ugggghhhh......that's got to do something to one's mental state..lol. I'm just going to keep going...I can do this!!!!!! Thanks again everyone...
luv
Liv

[Cafe Ole]

As my dh husband says (after he tells me he loves me ) he always says I am my worst critic. I do believe that (well ok except for my MIL) anyhow.... I do understand what you are saying and I so feel it - but my lord, you have lost 70 lbs!!!! That is TOTALLY AWESOME! I am impressed & jealous!

[Sheila53]

Olivia, I'm glad you're doing better today. Refer back to all these wonderful posts if ever you feel that way again. Seventy pounds is an awesome achievement, and you deserve to feel proud of yourself for your accomplishment.

[newfiedarling]

Good to hear you're feeling a little better. I have days like that too. I know in my head that I've lost a considerable amount of weight, but some days I can look in the mirror and see absolutely no progress. That's in my head too. I think it'll take us quite some time to get used to our new, slimmer bodies and truly be comfortable in our own skin.

You're doing a great job!

~Dee