I agree, Dawnyal. Nowhere does "Repressed in California" say she wants the junk banned ~ she has asked him to hide it, as a concession to her, which is a totally reasonable request. Fine, let him "stuff his face" with junk in his own home, but for him to "insist" he shouldn't have to hide his crap and also tell her to exercise self-control is showing a complete lack of consideration and is pretty childish behaviour for a "grown man".

There's ways of getting around this sort of thing, especially in a loving, mutually respectful relationship. George likes his potato chips and I'm a sucker for them, too. Sometimes I can resist and other times I can't. If I'm feeling particularly vulnerable I'll request him to please purchase a flavour I'm not so fond of and he happily complies. Another example is his love of salted, butter popcorn. I have an air-popper, so I pop up a bowl of plain for me (sprayed with a little bit of butter flavoured Pam) and melt butter over his and salt it liberally. We're both happy and have come to a respectful compromise. He's such a sweetheart that when he brings home Tim Horton's coffee at night and is craving one of their pecan butter tarts, he'll eat the tart in the driveway before bringing in the coffee so as not to tempt me ~ that's a nice gesture that I appreciate and makes for a happier home (in other words, he gets to have his tart and eat it too).

I certainly don't expect the world to change so that I'm not tempted, but I expect support and encouragement in my own home (the same way I give support and encouragement to the others who reside there). And I don't get angry at the local McDonald's for tempting me because I'm not in a loving, committed relationship with McDonald's (well, not any more).

You don't want to know what I thought of when I read, "in other words, he gets to have his tart and eat it too"!

You tart, you!

I knew enough not to put a at the end of the sentence. After all, I wouldn't want anyone to think I meant it in anything other than the most innocent way.

Tarts? There are women on this board who are tarts? I'm shocked!

Hmm.. I guess I have to give her some credit, because she starts off right... but to me, what "Paul" is doing is similar to leaving alcohol lying around the house of someone with a drinking problem. She's right that it's overt and childish, but the second paragraph, though I think it's well-intentioned, doesn't seem too sympathetic with the writer of the letter. Maybe it would have been useful to pass on resources for support groups, etc.

Tart.

A tart...shaped like a...well, you know.

I was totally thinking the same thing!

It really depends on your trigger foods, too. Hunter gets his own junk. He brings in the soda and the candy and the ice cream. Sweets aren't my downfall. But this week while I was sick, which is when I severely crave comfort carbs, he brought in some cheese curls. They were gone by the next day, 'cause he left them on the counter. The chips in the pantry? Evaporated. The fresh bread from the Dutch Market? I think I've eaten half of it already and he brought it home last night. On top of that I made mashed potatoes with butter and light cream cheese. Man, I was craving carbs.

Usually, he doesn't bring this stuff in. I haven't asked him not to. It usually doesn't come up. His trigger foods, sweets, aren't mine, breads and chips. Thank God. But I agree that sometimes it can really feel like you're being sabotaged. We work late, we eat quick food, and if he wants to order pizza or Chinese, I go along. I don't want MY restrictions to infringe on him, either. So I feel guilty about wanting to say "no" when he wants to go out for Italian or stop for fast food, or something that I know will be hard to make healthy choices.

It's a juggling act. I stopped for ice cream last week on my way home with Gem. Why? Because Hunter often takes her for ice cream, and I'm always the one saying no. I want her to know that treats are okay, once in a while. I want her to know that Mamma enjoys things sometimes, too. I don't want something to become "FORBIDDEN" in such a way that she binges on it and then feels guilty. So we got a small cone, and we shared it.

Anyway, although I'm rambling, my point is that I can see both sides of it. I agree that he should try to keep his treats out of sight if she asks him to. I agree that she should be able to discuss this with him like an adult and not be attacked for her "lack of self control". But I also think it may have been a situational thing, and he may be passive-aggressively attacking her for trying to change HIS diet.

Wow. I could've written this, synger. If I crave a sweet, it's something specific, like the afore mentioned Zingers, or JUST the red Skittles from a bag, or something chocolate (Tootsie Rolls & Pops do not work for me. I need the chocolate mouth feel if that is what I'm craving.)

It's also hard for me to resist cooking for others. I'm Italian, grew up @ grandma's knee, buy me some ingredients & I will make you scream w/orgasmic food love. Those tend to be my treat meals.

As for the original post, there is nothing wrong with having his own special cabinet to keep his snacks in. If they have kids, the kids can be told, too, not to touch, those are Daddy's snacks.