I've been on vacation for the last couple of weeks (which is why I haven't been around), and while we've been here my bf has gotten very ill. We've seen a doctor, got some tests done, unfortunately they are all negative, which means it's more serious than we origionally thought. The doctor says it could be Crohn's Disease, IBS, or Colon Cancer. The latter of the three is the most scary, both of his grandparents died of cancer, as did his uncle. And while I put on a brave face for him, I'm not doing so well inside. I don't deal with mortality too well, I'd prefer to run away and hide until he's all better. Where on earth do I find the strength to deal with this? Not only that, we are actually stuck in Nelson (our vacation destination) until he gets a little better, so I'm pretty far away from my friends, not to mention work. He can take sick days, and then short term disability, so we'll have all his paycheques, but I'm supposed to work Sunday. I'm likely blowing this out of proportion, and we'll somehow make it home.. but I'm all alone, and scared.
I better stop my babbling here, thanks for listening...
Oh Aimee, positive thoughts and lots of hugs from me to you. Not sure what to say, except I hope everything resolves itself over the next few days and you and your boyfriend get some answers soon.
I'm so sorry, Aimee--what an awful way to end your vacation. Our minds automatically go to the worst-case scenario, don't they? Sending positive thoughts your way!
Aw, Aimee. I'm so sorry you and he have this scare! The thing is, you're NOT all alone! You have HIM, and he has you!! When something like this happens, the very best way to get rid of the fear and panic is to turn to one another and talk it through together. Tell him how scared you are of him getting sick. Tell him how scared you are that you won't be able to handle it. Tell him how much you love him. Don't for a minute think that he doesn't already know that you're freaking. I'm sure he's freaking, too!! Talk to him, listen to him, hold him and let him hold you....I PROMISE you'll feel better if you open up about how scared you are.
I have no idea how I would have gotten through the past 8 months if Lorraine and I hadn't been 100% open with one another. She would have been like you -- the strong silent type and silently freaking inside -- but I forced her to talk to me right from the start, and it helped both of us SO much!! It really helped me to get out of my own head and feel her perspective, and the reverse helped her, too. Where do you find the strength to deal with this? From HIM, sweetheart.....just as he'll find it from you. You really never know how strong you are until you're tested -- I suspect you're about to surprise yourself.
NOW. IBS is a LOT more common than either colon cancer or Crohn's Disease, so don't expect the worst just yet! I know it's really, really hard not to get ahead of yourself -- BELIEVE me, I know! -- but just focus on the here and now. Talk it through with him! And then try to do as much fun stuff as you can while you're still away from home -- call it your Denial Vacation, like I did when Lorraine and I went to St. Maarten for 9 days in the middle of my chemo!
I'm really, really sorry this is all happening, Aimee. Keep us posted.
Aww Aimee!!! (((HUGS))) What a terrible situation. I think Sarah is right in that you can't assume it's the worst just yet. Keep positive and talk with him. You NOT alone, you have US too. Hang in there and keep us updated.
I'm so sorry! I didn't open this thread right away because I thought it was another "bra" one!!! Oh dear Aimee, I'm so sorry you and your b/f are going through this time of worry. Oh yes, I know how the mind immediately jumps to the worst case scenario conclusion and its difficult to say "worrying won't help" because you just can't help worrying! All you can do is try to be strong for each other while you wait. The odds are in favour of IBS or Crohn's and as disruptive as they may be, at least they can be managed fairly easily with medication and diet. As for the other possibility, its amazing the strength you find within yourself when faced with something like that and I'm sure the only place you'd find yourself running would be into his arms!
Sorry you're both going through this ~ sending out positive vibes and best wishes for the very best possible outcome.
Thank you all for your kind words, its nice to know there are people out there.. even when I haven't been around much lately.
We took Josh to the hospital today, and he got a lot of testing, answered lots of questions and while we don't have a definitive answer I was able to ask the doctor some questions about what the other doctor had told us. Thankfully, the origional doctor we saw was WRONG! I almost jumped up and down when I heard that! I can't really read what the doctor wrote down, the test results are turning up some problems with his liver. As weird as that is, it's good to hear. I've been concerned with my liver and had a liver detox planned when I return from vacation, so Josh will likely do that with me, and start a proper eating plan.
My goodness my mind sure did wander to the worst possible thing though! I was prepared for cancer, so a liver problem feels SO much easier to live with. Again, thank you all for all your kind words, I really appreciate it!
Oh Aimee, I'm so sorry this is going on. I hope you can be there for each other the way you need to be. Dealing with sickness/mortality is so hard... but it sounds like it is a lot less ominous than it sounded originally. I'll be thinkig of you both.
I get to go home tomorrow! Probably by myself, I'll either rent a car or take a bus (the bus is more expensive, weird huh?). Josh will stay here until the end of the week, I just can't take any more time off, my manager probably thinks I'm faking all of this... and it's within those 3 months where I can be fired. Josh is just too weak to travel, so with some clean eating, and a liver cleanse, I hope he'll be home by the end of the week. He's also going to go see a doctor tomorrow, maybe get some answers.. I have a big day ahead of me.. so I'm going to go get a good nights sleep.
So glad its not as bad a diagnosis as you feared (although its still pretty worriesome). Sending out more good wishes that you're back together by the end of the week and that you have all the information you both need to get him back healthy and strong!
I am home! And Josh came with me.. he drove infact. He was feeling better this morning and couldn't really handle being away from me while he's so sick, so he did a little prayer last night and woke up feeling energized enough! I am thankful to be home, and am preparing for the hopefully short battle to get him back to a healthy state.
Interesting sidenote, a few years ago I decided I had enough of being sick, I'd been diagnosed with 4-5 different things and was facing a lifetime of medication and doctors visits. So I started eating better, taking vitamins and almost living in denial I guess.. only in a good way. I'm no longer dealing with those ailments, so I'm convincing Josh that his problem is high liver enzymes, and did some research on the liver and have been feeding him certain foods (beets!). He'll still get everything checked out.. but in the mean time, he's been getting better and better everyday. I think the mind is a powerful tool, if you use it properly...
Jill - what would the 100lb club do without you? I don't even get this kinda support from my best friend in real life!!
Happy to hear you're both home, safe and sound, and that Josh is improving daily. You're right on about the mind being a powerful tool (weapon even), though its good to get everything thoroughly checked out. Its amazing the benefits that can come from good eating. As much as we all want to look better, feeling better and living longer is what really makes the effort worthwhile (although looking better is definitely the icing on the cake)!
In need of a little support..
I'm so sorry you and he have this scare! The thing is, you're NOT all alone! You have HIM, and he has you!! When something like this happens, the very best way to get rid of the fear and panic is to turn to one another and talk it through together. Tell him how scared you are of him getting sick. Tell him how scared you are that you won't be able to handle it. Tell him how much you love him. Don't for a minute think that he doesn't already know that you're freaking. 
I'm sure he's freaking, too!! Talk to him, listen to him, hold him and let him hold you....I PROMISE you'll feel better if you open up about how scared you are. 
Happy to hear you're both home, safe and sound, and that Josh is improving daily. You're right on about the mind being a powerful tool (weapon even), though its good to get everything thoroughly checked out. Its amazing the benefits that can come from good eating. As much as we all want to look better, feeling better and living longer is what really makes the effort worthwhile (although looking better is definitely the icing on the cake)! 
