Hi, everyone,

Well, I have been thinking and thinking what to do to get myself going in a more positive, healthy way. My weight is still pretty much staying the same. I think I want more structure. I even thought of going back to Weight Watchers, but it freaked me out too much---the weekly weigh-ins and some bad memories about WW. I have found a friend to do weight loss stuff with. We are going to get together once a week to talk about how we are doing. I have my family's support as well. I am thinking of following some old WW plans I have from awhile ago, and modifying as I need to. I am really so freaked out lately about this whole thing. I think if I can maintain a positive, caring attitude towards myself and take it one day at a time, I should be able to make positive progress. For those of you who have some structure and are doing it on your own (not going to a formal plan/group), is it hard? Is it doable? Is structure a good thing? Does it provide you with safety or does it make you feel deprived? Does it get easier? Is it o.k. to follow more of a structured plan. I keep thinking I can just cut down and make small changes, which I have done, but I am getting frustrated and discouraged. I am so scared I can't do this (STILL) , or that I will choose the wrong way and be unsuccessful. I just need to get more of a start towards LOSING, not just maintaining---and being healthy. I have made progress, but I think I need to take the next step, whatever that is. Thank you so much for listening.

Kathy, I certainly have had fears such as yours. Don't let those fears keep you from trying though. I'm on a calorie plan. I allow myself so many calories a day and that is it. It's not hard, and easy to follow. I've lost 50 pounds doing that so far. If Weight Watchers food program works for you give it a try again, you don't have to attend the meetings. Make it work for you. I think structure is pretty much necessary for weight loss. If you don't have any there is to much room for error. We provide our kids with structure as they are growing up and as adults we all need structure else there would be a whole lot of chaos. Now, that does not meant that being spontaneous sometimes is not ok, it is. Keeps life from getting to boring I won't lie. I still feel deprived. I'm sure not everyone feels that way, but I do. I'm not sure if that goes away or that is something that I am going to have to work on. I know there are so many choices to make. All I can say is you HAVE to start with something. If it does not work for you jump to something else. Pam started on Atkins and then it quit working for her and now she is calorie counting. Pam did not give up, she found a way that worked for her. If you are honestly trying you are not going to fail. The plan you are on can fail you instead. You have to learn what your body needs and that sometimes is not easy. With time and lots of patience it will all come together, it is just getting to that point. I'm thrilled to hear that you have a friend to talk to. Weight loss is hard but even harder with no support system. You have us and you have your friend that you can meet up with. You can do this!! Don't get discouraged and quit. Conquer your fears!! *Hugs*

For me I need structure but I also don't like being limited. I want some boundaries but I don't want to be told I can't eat this or that. In my ideal world, I would love to have someone plan my meals for me, show me what I need to eat and how it helps me and give me guidance on how to succeed on my own. Since I cannot afford that kind of help, I too count calories.
If you are wanting to modify the way you eat without having to count anything there are other ways of doing it and some people have great success on it. fix your plate like you normally would and then get rid of half of it, eat off of smaller plates (the salad plate instead), stuff like that.

Hey there --

In addition to what Tammy said ... I need structure, at least I did to start with. It helps if you think of structure not as a prison, but as a foundation. My structure is a commercial program, but it's really just an exchange plan (like WW used to be many moons ago). I eat a certain amount of calories every day, but I eat a certain number of exchanges -- so many meat, milk, fruit, starch, veg, fat servings -- every day, and that provides the calories. My program has an explicit pre-printed menu I can follow, or I can use that as a template and make substitutions (i.e. eat 1/2 cup cooked broccoli when the menu says 1 cup raw carrots) but stick with the same eating schedule. I can also abandon the template altogether as long as I eat the right number of exchanges in the day. I found it VERY helpful to follow the menu exactly for a few weeks, knowing that once I was comfortable and I felt I had everything down, I had all the leeway I wanted.

Just think of starting a program as a retraining period -- have something laid out that you can follow, that will help you move through your day without a lot of last-minute decision-making. Then, when that feels comfortable and you are more confident, then you can start playing with the variables.

Structure.Ummm. I guess my diet is pretty sturctured. I have a packet of flavored oatmeal with 1/4c milk and 3c coffee for breakfast.I have a sandwich made of low cal bread,5 slices chipped beef,ham or turkey with low fat cheese and nonfat yogurt for lunch. Then for dinner a Budget Gourmet entree with a cup of veg. If I've been good and stuck with it I get a Healthy Choise fudge bar or fruit cup. Sometimes instead of a sandwich I'll have a low fat tortilla with 2 chicken strips,lowfat cheese and salsa and a fruit cup for lunch. Progesso makes some wonderful soups to.I've been able to lose 70lbs on this diet plan.

Thank you so much for taking time to help me. I appreciate it so much. Your support and concern are really amazing. I think I am going to follow the old WW stuff and maybe come up with a modified version where I know what to have for each meal and snack---like a milk, bread and egg for breakfast, etc.. Thank you so much for your encouragement. Congratulations on all your successes. You are an inspiration.

Kathy, I may be wrong, but I thought that WW has an online program which may be suitable for you.

Don't worry, you can do this, you just have to figure out how you want to do it. Don't get discouraged.

First of all, you can do this. It will be hard at times but if you keep the payoff in mind you are bound to overcome all of these obstacles.

I follow a structured plan in that I have a certain amount of calories that I consume each day and a certain amount of exercise that I do each week. So as not to get bored I make sure that I eat a variety of foods, often trying new recipes, etc. And, of course, making sure that I fit in my old favorites helps keep me from feeling deprived.

I have certainly been where you are...discouraged, worried, etc. I had an "ah ha" moment that pulled me out of my slump, changed my attitude, and rid me of that deprived feeling. It may sound crazy but I realized my entire weight loss plan centered around food. Not just counting calories but constantly thinking about what I couldn't have, what I shouldn't have. I always felt hungry. But finally, I stopped thinking so much about the food part. Yes, I still counted calories but I paid more attention to ME than what I was eating. What I found was that the deprivation and hunger that I was feeling wasn't that at all. It was stress and anxiety over loosing weight. Once I paid attention to my body I realized that not being completely full isn't the same thing as being hungry. It just finally occured to me that just because I wasn't stuffed constantly didn't mean I was depriving myself. Honestly, I remember the day that I realized that I wasn't hungry and that I wasn't full and thought to myself, "Ah, ha, this is what NORMAL feels like." From then on I've been able to distinguish between the two. Now if I'm not hungry I don't have a desire to eat. And when I am hungry, well, that is when I eat.

I certainly don't mean to oversimplify your situation because there is so much to how any of us become overweight and the battles we wage to overcome a weight problem. But it worked for me just to take food (or lack of) out of the spotlight and pay closer attention to me, even if it wasn't an intentional move.

I'm at a point now that my plan is not only easy but second nature. I am so amazed by how much better I feel now - my feet don't ache, my back doesn't hurt, I sleep like a baby, I enjoy my friends and family, I don't worry about running into people I haven't seen for a while, etc.- that I really don't even think of myself as being on a diet anymore. It's just how I live now.

I know it can be a struggle to get to that point. But you can and you will (if you really, really want to). Just pay attention to yourself and you'll see and feel all the positive effects of the changes that you are making - but if you worry too much about your next meal - you may just miss them. Then, you'll be left wondering if all this work is worth it and be back in that awful, awful state of discouragement that we've all been through.

Good luck in finding a plan and a mindset that suites YOU!