I CANNOT STICK TO A DARN THING I START!!!!!!!!

I'm sorry. I know computer etiquitte (sp?) says that's screaming, but trust me....I AM!!! LOL

I can't flippin' make myself do what I know I'm supposed to do.. I get so darn disgusted with myself. I'm a grown woman for heaven's sake. Why do I have NO self discipline. I ate chocolate today like a skinny-minnie with a metabolism as high as Mt. Everest!! I didn't do any better yesterday either. Sandi, you can forget the points challenge for me today too. I keep saying I'll do better tomorrow, but then I don't. *sigh*

I'm going to say that I might start doing better when things settle down at school (I'm a speech therapist in the school system). We've had workdays so far, but Thursday the kids start back. Maybe when I get on a set schedule, it will be easier to follow a plan??? I hope so.

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent!!

Go gently and softly. We have all been where you are. I do the same thing often. Instead of looking at it as a weakness of character, maybe it just is. God's grace gives us another day, and as His daughter he wants the very best for you. Do you want the very best for you?

Chris

Kim, try not to be too hard on yourself, hon -- abuse isn't usually a very effective motivator, and you wouldn't think it was ok for someone else to do it to you, so at what point did it become ok to do that to yourself? You don't have to beat the crap out of yourself in order to ask yourself the hard questions and hold yourself accountable.

Are you taking the steps necessary to set yourself up for success, or just playing it by ear with good intentions? For instance: Are you pre-planning your meals and either taking them with you already prepped for reheating or grabbing on the go, or are you developing a plan for eating on the go that is feasible logistically? Are you making sure to eat a little balanced, on-plan something every four hours so you don't get so hungry you're left vulnerable to temptation? Are you eating a decent, balanced breakfast that provides plenty of protein and complex carbohydrates for longer-termed, sustainable energy? Are you carrying water with you so you can drink lots of water before meals and instead of off-plan foods?

You said, "I'm going to say that I might start doing better when things settle down at school." And, "Maybe when I get on a set schedule, it will be easier to follow a plan??? I hope so." Kim, YOU are the ONLY one who can decide whether you'll "do better" or "follow a plan." Your life just is what it is, you know? As I see it, you have 4 choices: (1) Don't lose weight, and continue to live at your present weight. (2) Quit your job and change your daily life entirely to provide an easier schedule for a weight loss program. (3) Leave it up to chance, hoping for the best and beating yourself up when you're already down for having disappointed yourself when you've misstepped. Or (4) Create a plan for eating OP within your present work environment and your present life, so that you are making your goals achievable within your present reality. I'm thinking the first two are unappealing, and the third is a form of slow emotional and physical torture. That leaves the fourth, which may require some work and help from some friends, but beats the **** out of the alternatives. It all boils down to choices and priorities. These are your decisions to make. Show me your choices, and I'll tell you your priorities.

Just my .02 - a little tough love given with care and a very good idea of what you're going through....if you need any help at all, just let me know.

You are being way to harsh on yourself, every meal is a new start! Sometimes it's easier to stick to a diet when you have a schedule, and are busy, because you have a lot less time to think about food. Also, I think sometimes we all need a break from dieting, because it can be overwhelming and start to make us feel like if we aren't losing pounds, we aren't successful. I think if you are learning something about your body and how it loses weight, you are a success! Remember, the point is to be happy, so make yourself happy, don't stress over chocolate. I remember one time I binged on McD's after not losing any weight for 4 weeks, that seemed to "jump start" my weight loss and I started to lose again. Let's be positive! Because if *I* can be positive, anyone can!

Kim,

Like everyone has said already! YOU ARE BEING WAY TOO HARD ON YOURSELF!

I know you can do this, we all can and that's why we've taken the step to come here. Start off with baby steps hun, take every minute as it comes and like SwimGirl said, every meal (or snack) is a new start! You'll get there.. Trust me! Once it "clicks" it just does.. and things will keep getting easier!

We're here with you every step of the way!

So first of all, start being good to yourself - it was just chocolate, my friend, not a heinous crime, you know! And then maybe ask yourself how important it is to you to lose weight right now???? If its really important, your top priority, then Sarah's said it all - put the work in so that you are prepared and able to eat healthy - it makes it soooooooooooo much easier. And if it is not your top priority, then maybe just make a small step like eating less junk food, or drinking more water, and stop beating yourself up. Then, when you feel really really ready, you can take some more small steps......

Whatever you do, keep coming here, because, as Brooklyn says, we are all here to support you....

Sigh. Read that over a few times. It made me really sad- mostly because you're so darn hard on yourself! Things happen that make it harder to focus on a goal like this. You need to be more gentle with yourself- it will give you better results AND you'll feel better about yourself.

Start out slow. Say something like, "Today I will make sure that I drink all of my water. If I don't, I know I can tomorrow or the next day." And when you do, add something else. Sometimes you can't just jump into something full throttle, you have to ease yourself into it.

And stop being so hard on yourself. Pretty please? I'll send you a Skinny Cow ice cream sandwich

Vent whenever you'd like- we're here to listen.

Kim, don't you just love Dana? I know I do. Kim, I'm looking forward to hearing how you're feeling today -- I hope better than yesterday. We care about you and know you can do this; we also know that sometimes it needs to start one step at a time. Whatever approach you take, we're here for you and want you to take care of yourself and be kind to yourself. You're a lovely person, Kim, and worthy of respect, so try to treat yourself respectfully, ok? I know I'm not alone in saying that I wish I could give you a great big hug.

Wow, you guys have some of the best advice.

I just thought I'd throw in my two cents and tell you what has worked for me. When I started out, I sounded *exactly* like you. I would start out blazing but end up in tears at the end of the day because I would fail on the eating part. But what really, really made things *click* for me, more than anything else, was exercising. Do you exercise already, or is it something you've felt too busy to do? When I started out, I basically told myself that I was going to exercise every day but not worry about food until I made exercise an integral part of my day. Over time, because I was feeling better about myself and my body and seeing some fitness improvement and, well, just *feeling better*, it was so much easier to make little changes to my eating, like cutting out sugary snacks and making my portions a little smaller.

I really do believe, like other people have said, that it's about making changes a little bit at a time. For me, it's sort of tricking my mind into not feeling deprived. When I feel horrible about myself, that's when I fall, because punishing myself perversely feels kind of good. I know that sounds weird, but I sense you may be the same way.

All that said, hang in there. It's hard, but the support system on here is amazing!

There's not much I can add to the excellent advice offered here already, except to say there's nothing "wrong" with you - you're just human, my dear. There's so many factors at play in this game besides the physical. Perhaps you're not emotionally and mentally ready to leap into this right now with your entire being. Take a few baby steps first and see how that goes, then work your way up to total commitment.

Various methods work better for some than others - slow and surely wins the race rather than cold turkey complete lifestyle change might work better for you - or a combination of different approaches. Don't get down on yourself because your initial idea failed - persevere until you find what works best for YOU!

Good luck and let us know your progress.

I can honestly say I feel your pain. Been there...am there You have gotten alot of great advice here. Today is a new day. Start again. never ever give up!

Oh ((((Kim)))), please don't be so hard on yourself! This is a process with so many ups and downs it's not even funny. Learning new habits is hard and it just takes time. Baby steps are the key. Start off making some small changes and once you've mastered those and built new habits then move on to others. Divide and conquer! You can do this, sweetie, just take your time, but stick with it, what ever you do.

Beverly

Don't give up on the challenge just because you had a couple of bad days. Heck the last challenge I did I had several 0 or 1 pt days. Still it was a daily reminder of what I was trying to accomplish. Losing weight is hard work, you didn't gain the weight overnight and you aren't going to lose it that way either. Instead of doing it all or nothing try focusing on a small step such as drinking more water instead of pop or fruit juice (yes they have vitamins etc but can be very high in calories).

You cannot uneat anything, all you can do is move on. I am proud of you for coming here & confessing. It's much easier to avoid this site for awhile when you're doing 'bad'.