checking in.

I got the name of a really good eating disorders counselor months ago, but never called her. My excuse was always that I never remembered until after 5:00 p.m. Well, on my way home from school on Friday (at 5:24 p.m.), I called and left a message on her answering machine. I hope she will be able to fit me in. Her office is about 45 minutes from where I work and I can only come on Tuesdays or Fridays after 4:00. Hopefully, her office will call back tomorrow. I wrote an essay on body image about four years ago that I'm going to bring to share with her. It's really good (if I do say so myself ); I wish I could post it here but it's huge.

My main wish is to just be able to look at food as fuel rather than comfort and to be able to lose some weight without the act of "weight loss" completely taking over my life like it always does. And I want to rip the batteries out of that f***ing subconscious tape recorder.

I'll let you know how it goes. Miss you and love you all,

Good for you, Jennelle! The first step is always the hardest. You have a handle on so many things you should be all ready to work with her. Now's the time - you've got the rest of your life just waiting to be enjoyed without all the baggage.

When I watch my little granddaughter with her pacifier when she's tired or upset, I think that's me (or at least the way I used to be) except my pacifiers had lots of calories. So sometimes when I think I need comfort from food, I picture me/her and the pacifiers and it sort of breaks me up. Anything that helps......

I am so incredibly proud of you for taking that giant step! What a great way to show how much you love yourself and life. Please know that we're all here to support you.

I've been where you are at, and with a lot of work, I've managed to turn off those dang tapes. I know that you can, too, and that your life will be so much better because of it.

Let us know if you get an appointment. I think it sounds like a great 1st step! We are here for you!! ((HUGS))

Very proud of you! We are here if you need us.

And I would like to read your essay...

Yes, I would too.

arrgh. I called and left a message on what - Monday? Didn't get a call back, so I called again on Tuesday (got out of school early) and got a real person who told me that this particular doctor prefers to set her own appointments, so I left another message. I ran out for TEN MINUTES to take son to the movie theatre, and she left a message on my machine while I was out telling me to call her at 5:55, when she'd be between patients. I called back and got her office's answering machine. No one's called. Frustrating. I will try and call again tomorrow.

I'm going to try and post my essay on here. It's long. Look for a thread called, "I Yam What I Yam."