sometime last year <?> PNG <i think> started a wonderful thread that i keep going back to. it was about taking care of ourselves. those special little pampering things that we could/should/want to do for ourselves.

now, this has been a really huge stumbling block for me. that whole 'taking care of myself' thing is just not natural. still very mechanical, i have no heart in it.

i'm getting better at it, but still...

and last night it hit me over the head again. a visit to the PCP [because i have iron deficiency anemia and we're working on correcting it], and she lectured me about the condition of my feet. i get pedicures about every 6 weeks, and that's about it.

she said that i needed to apply lotion daily, and get pedicures more often [with my own tools]. that's to reduce the risk of infection because of, well, it's a long story, but i have no lymphatic function in my left calf. so any infection in my foot is a very risky thing.

and my heart dropped. just one more thing to take care of, and i just don't want to!

but this is just the kind of ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT i need. if i don't get this self-care thing going smoothly, i feel like i'm going to fail the surgery and all my weight will come back..

so i had a pedicure this evening, and now will apply even more lotion because i have to make this a habit.

what's next????? there's just so much to pay attention to and i don't want to do it!!!!!!

So do you think it's that trap that so many women fall into of nurturing others instead of themselves? Or do you think of it as just another "chore" that you have to do added on to that already too-long list?

If it's a chore, it's not pampering! Therefore, the issue becomes "How to take care of a necessary task so it will fit my lifestyle/preferences?".

Regarding the feet, here's my suggestion:
1. Get a pedicure more often (every 3 weeks?).
2. Spray on dry oil or some other lubricant that isn't as much work as the lotion.
3. Invest in a foot bath and soak your feet along with a little essential oil every evening.
4. If you can stand to wear socks to bed (I can't) put a heavy cream and socks on right at bed time (in lieu of 2 & 3).

Last but not least, how old are those kids of Peachie? My DD will give me a foot rub, complete with pumice scrub and lotion as long as I read to her the whole time. She gets a story (and usually to stay up past her bedtime) and I get a good foot rub. Not wanting to be left out, DS will sometime join in and give me a "backrub" too (he just turned six so it's a little to abrupt to be called a massage ).

Hi! I'm new to the boards and excited about finding new friends to share my weight-loss journey with!
I wanted to comment on your post because I, too, have trouble with "pampering myself" and especially my FEET! I have horrible feet! They are dry and cracked and my toenails have fungus and yuk, yuk, yuk! My hubby bought me a foot massager for Christmas last year and I've used it a total of TWO TIMES! hmmm.... why is that we don't want to take care of OURSELFS?? Is it this hidden need to punish ourselves for how we look or what????
anyways.... I will make the effort if you will!!! Let's get those feet to lookin good! lol
glad to meet you!
My name is "Okiemom"

Welcome Okiemom! Post often, don't just post once and then leave us, please!

Jiffypop-
I know. Isn't that crazy? In about August of this year I decided that I was going to make myself more.... healthy in more ways than just weightloss. I started to floss every night, take a multivitamin and calcium supplement, use lotion on my legs, etc. etc. etc. And you know what? IT SUCKED at first. I was so used to being a "no muss no fuss" girl. But now, almost a month later, I feel like I've forgotten something if a miss a step in my "night time routine" Also, it makes it easier when you start to SEE a difference. So, for the time being, make good foot care part of a routine and in no time, it will be something you miss if you forget! Hope that helped! -Apryl

Jiff -

I am good about some things, makeup, jewelry, hair (except on the weekend, you don't want to run into me then!! )But, Brushing my teeth and washing my face before bed, those things have never become a habit for me. And I am very prone to cavities, so i need to brush and floss before bed like you need to do your feet.

I think Apryl really has a point, we just need to do it long enough to make it a habit. I think maybe it's all kinda tied together. Things like this and weight. Early on, I did not learn the art of healthy eating and moderation. Now I just need to do it long enough for it to become my lifestyle. That and brush and floss at night!!

Jiff,

Put baby oil in your bathwater. Your feet will come out nice & soft.

Also, Avon has an inflatable footbath & yummy-smelling footsoak. I also like Freeman's BareFoot line.

That reminds me, I need a pedicure.

I'd be interested to hear a male's perspective (Matt? Howie?), but from what I've observed most females do tend to put themselves "last" when it comes to indulging in the little niceties or even necessities of life, all the while ensuring that the kids, hubby and even pets have what they need when they need it.

I don't really think it's because we don't feel we're entitled to or worthy of pampering, likely more it's a social conditioning or just that good old built-in maternal, caregiving gene. Not to say there aren't lots of totally self-absorbed women out there, but I think generally it's a role we take on - one passed down from our mothers. Having said that, now that my daughter's married, the ex is long gone and the pet resides in doggy heaven, I admit to giving much more attention to myself now and I highly recommend it

Oh and when it comes to feet, I have enough of a problem getting a manicure (for some reason the file noise sounds worse when someone else is causing it and it makes my skin crawl). Getting a pedicure is worse, I can't stand anyone touching my feet (and not just because I'm ticklish - it's just some strange aversion I have...)

Why don't we make Sunday "Give yourself a treat" day? Sounds like a plan to me

Another good thing is a parifin wax treatment. You can get the stuff at wally world or just about any other department store. They are only about $30 They are great. And you can treat your elbos and hands as well as your feet.

Hope that helps!

i KNEW you folks would come through!!!! and i gotta say how proud i am of apryl for GETTING THIS at such a young age... instead of waiting until she's as ancient as i am before dealing with it.

i've never met an overweight person of either sex who put himself or herself first in the priority list. i never think that i'm worth the effort. everyone else is.. just not me.

but i'll also do ANYTHING to avoid a hospital stay, and if that means avoiding infection by taking care of my feet, that's what i'll do. i guess.

we all seem to agree that this has to become a habit.

maybe we could set up a 'caretaking challenge' thread, like the water-food-exercise challenge. although that seems too much like work at the moment!

okiemom.. did YOU take care of your feet today?????????? i did.

and i took my vitamins, iron, calcium B12. and hiked for 90 minutes. and did 90 minutes of weights and took mom for a perm and got my hair cut and colored. and went out to lunch.

I'M TIRED and i don't want to do this!!!!!!

i like the sunday treat idea... we've all discussed rewards. but don't we deserve a reward just for effort???

thank you all....

I think taking care of yourself - taking time out for you - is SO important

I've made it one of my daily goals - I write down what I did for myself today... be it as mundane as shaving my legs - or as huge as going to the hairstylist.. and it helps to remind me that taking care of myself is a hugely important thing!

I think it is a female thing about putting everyone first and ourselves and our health last. It is also a denial thing because by taking care of the problem then we have to admit that there is a problem to begin with.

I also have horrible nasty feet that are always cracked and dry. Well I'm going to go buy one of those foot massager things and start applying lotion every night before bed! Sunday nite will be a global foot massage night starting tomorrow!!

Yup, I totally agree. With 6 kids, a dog, a house, and numberous other things to take care of while my husband is on the road, taking care of myself is ALWAYS last. I've even been known to go a year or longer without getting a hair cut. As it gets longer, I just pull it up.

The one thing that I do for myself now is my exercise. It comes before just about everything else. Everyone in my family knows that from 9-11 a.m., I'm off limits so that I can work out.

I still am not good about all of the other things though. I need to work on that. I"m really excited for you Jiffy that you're making this a priority. I'll have to take my inspiration from all of you that are making the time for these things.

*** wooooo hoooo!!!! another okie!***

i need help in taking care of myself too. i look like a train wreck most days. i dont even want to start on my nasty feet. they are just gross.

but since reading this thread i'm thinking about just getting out a big bowl, filling it with water and putting some oil in it.

Hey, just popping over. I'm on the other side of the fence, with all the foot stuff, my feet are my favorite body part, because they don't gain much weight! I'd let my hair grow till I looked like someone out of the bible but the feet, no way!

Jiff, don't know if this will help but this is my routine for the tootsies and it's been working for years although it did take awhile to get it routined. I have a pumice stone in my shower, I do my heals, everytime I shave my legs since I'm already sitting down. That helps cut back on the nasties since it gets done a few times a week. I don't usually put lotion on as I slid right outta my shoes. Every sunday, I soak them in my foot spa, it has bubbles and vibrates, whoo! I love how it feels so it's not hard to keep it up. I use baking soda in it, that way I don't get oily, it softens the feet and keeps them fresh as a daisy. I also do my toe nails every 2 weeks but that took awhile to get going, almost a year before it wasn't a chore anymore. Also in summer I put away all my close toed shoes, except runners so I'm embarassed into doing it!

Take care of yourself Jiff, feet are so important! If they are really bad try a professional pedicure first then you'll have a good head start on maintenance.

Tummy