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Hey everybody
Amanda What is shark week? Sounds like something I don't need in my life, LOL. Glad to hear you are doing well otherwise. Hope the little energy boost packets turn out to give you lots of ENERGY. Hang in there! Laurie You are really fighting the good fight there. The only thing I can say, and I don't know if this will help, but the white knuckle time will pass. It's evil and I don't know why this happens to us, but it never lasts forever. You might not like your size 10s, but they are a lot littler than where you'll end up if you enter sheet cake mode. Don't let that happen to you! Diane Sounds like you absolutely needed this weekend! Hope you get lots of relaxation and work totally out of your brain, and maybe a leisurely scenic walk to boot! As for me, lot going on in Uberland. Yesterday, I weighed in and I've been sitting at 275 even for the few days-- maybe a week-- and I was still 275.0. Didn't get a chance to eat anything until about 1 pm so I weighed in again and lo and behold, it was 273! Of course, this morning it was back to 275. But, I know that 273 is going to pop up again soon. In other news, I returned to the obesity doctor for a two-month follow-up. The good news is that my first doctor visit back in Jan I was 297 with all my clothes on. YIKES!!!! My highest ever recorded weight ever. So I've officially doctor-scale dropped 23 lbs bc I was 274 on the doc scale. I've been super super busy finishing the draft of my new book which I sent off today-- so I actually have skipped exercise for the last 4 days. (and guys, believe me, I know that "super busy" for a writer is not the same as "super busy" for people with real jobs. I know because I've only been a full-time writer for about 4 years-- before that it was day job city, and there were times when I worked upwards of 80 hours a week, so I know what the difference is, and I feel really lucky) But the big thing is this-- I'm starting to consider more seriously doing the WLS. The weight loss doc showed me REAMS of data that showed me that being pre-diabetic, with a strong family history and a BMI of over 40 my chance of developing diabetes is stratospheric and the chance of NOT developing it is really really good if I do the WLS now before I develop full blown diabetes. I've honestly been very set dead set against WLS because I'm a natural kind of girl-- never had surgery of any kind except for a breast reduction as a teen that I ended being sorry I did, having worked in health care I'm pretty realistic about how sometimes medicine promises more than its able to deliver. That being said, it's pretty clear that they've made a lot of progress with safety, etc. and when I take a good hard look at the science and my particular health situation the research tips pretty strongly in favor of doing it. And it's really really really frustrating, because obviously not only do I know how to lose weight, but I'm capable of losing weight like a PRO when I set my mind to it-- on the other hand, though, I'm 55 and I've been fighting this (mostly losing) battle since I first went about 200 pounds with my first pregnancy. That was 1991. And the other thing is that the doctor had told me that I had to wait at least six months due to my insurance, but then it turns out that I don't have to wait at all, and I could do it any time.... A LOT to think about!! Meanwhile, I'm about to go hop on that treadmill. Thanks for listening, guys! |
Uber: Shark Week is what I call it when I get my period LOL. It sounds way more awesome than, "I might be bleeding to death, but who knows for sure." Congrats on the official weight loss!!!! :) It sounds like you're putting a lot of thought into whether or not to get the WLS, which is exactly what you're supposed to do. Whatever you decide, we're here for you to listen and help where we can!
Quick update: I walked about 12,000 steps today between the gym and working the Oyster Bake event. I am EXHAUSTED. But great news! I officially fit into a size Large tshirt again. I've only worn XL for years and years now!!! YAAAAYYYYYY! |
I lost two more pounds! Down to 255 :D
Edit: Y'all, I seriously, LEGIT thought I gained back at least five of the pounds I lost. I was so depressed even *thinking* about weighing this morning. I had to pep-talk myself all the way from the bed to the bathroom to the scale just to get myself on the scale to emotionally prepare myself for the result, only to see that I had *lost* weight. The lifestyle approach is working so far! I need to get myself out of the mindset of "success versus failure." There *has* to be room for compromise and having an "off" week without beating myself up about it. I think another part of it is that my concept of "falling off the wagon" is different than it used to be. Hot wings, pizza (last night), margaritas, and cake used to be an everyday kind of thing for me. Now I have it once a week and freak out thinking I've binged my way back to almost 270. I need to adjust my view and realize that having a small muffin size piece of the lemon/blueberry cake (with no icing, homemade by my sister) is an okay thing to have every now and then, BECAUSE I DON'T EAT IT EVERYDAY ANYMORE. It's a treat. I should enjoy it, and then go a tiny bit harder at the gym later. Even if it doesn't completely even out, it's okay because I don't do it all the time and it's the long-run that counts. Goal for the week: focus on the long-run, drink tons of water, get back to working out five out of the seven days, and be happy! |
Amanda
Woot! Woot! Woot! So happy and excited that you are down two. That is awesome!!!!! (I just wanna say that I just realized HOW OLD I am when I had no idea what Shark Week was LOL!) I gotta say getting rid of Shark Week is one thing that makes getting older better! ;-) So, I just wanna say that I TOTALLY get what you are talking about when eating something "off" feels like enough to send us straight back up the scale, especially if the scale is bouncing around due to water weight anyway. I am also noticing something really different about me this time. In the past, in order to succeed I had to really be OBSESSIVE-- daily tracking, daily weighing, checking in here several times a day. just thinking about it ALL THE TIME. Last time around I was super strict-- and I dropped the first fifty really fast-- but the second fifty was r-e-a-l-l-y s-l-o-w because I started so low I had nowhere to drop to. So, this time I've only written down my calories every once in a while when I wanted to get a rough idea what I had eaten, and I've had plenty of little treats along the way-- meals out, etc. and I've still lose 23 lbs since late January!!! I would call my diet right now something like : Exercise moderately and stop doing the stuff that makes you fat. LOL. I haven't been super hungry. I don't feel deprived. I'm not obsessing about being perfect, I'm just not doing the things that make me fat. I may need to modify as I go down the scale but for now, it's really great to be able to lose without constantly obsessing about it. |
Uber: That's exactly the best way to describe my tactic as well!!! "Stop doing the things that made you fat." That's literally it in a nutshell LOL. I know I could be losing so much faster, but honestly, this way doesn't stress me out nearly as much. I feel *good* about my body and myself. I'll tweak it later if I need to, but for right now I feel great!
Didn't do *anything* today. It was amazing. Ate some oatmeal, a whole bag of white cheddar air popped popcorn, a salad, and washed some dishes and did a load of laundry. Been reading "American Gods" all day. Great day off. :) |
Amanda
Sounds like a great day off. White cheddar air popped popcorn. Yum! I'm so glad it's working for you and that you are managing not to feel stressed. And definitely, we need to tweak as we go along, but if something is working, then it's working. I had a not so great day. My normal exercise time is around 5-5:30-- right before dinner-- and things have come up that have made me miss the window, then I don't feel like doing it after dinner. Today I was nibbly-- ate a big, but healthy on track lunch, then nibbled beef jerky at 4 pm, at a normal-sized dinner, then started feeling bingey at night when I served my son a dish of ice cream. So I remember that last time I was feeling sort of half out of control I ate apple with almond butter-- because it's so dense that you really can't manage to do too much damage... All in all it wasn't a terrible day, but I really dont' like when I start to getting that slipping out of control feeling. I've not been struggling like that recently. That being said, I KNOW EXACTLY WHY because I had a stressful event happen today. Still working on managing my stress without eating, but I feel like recognizing the threat of a binge and eating something healthy was an okay coping strategy. Diane, Laurie, Vlada Hope you guys are hanging in there. |
Wow, a lot has been going on here while I've been mostly missing. It seems like we've all been pushing up hill a bit this month. And here I thought March was hard....
Uber - interesting news about the WLS. That's a lot to consider. Avoiding diabetes is devoutly to be wished for that's for sure. Laurie - it seems like you're where I most desperately never want to end up again. Trying to get back on track. I'm terrible at that. And I've got no insight or advice but I am totally confident you can get through this phase. Slash - what the heck? How'd you get a black eye? It seems like you've got enough going on just keep on keeping on without adding mysterious injuries to the list! Dread - It's great to hear your weight loss is continuing even with some eating ups and downs! We have to be able to relax with friends and family without constant focus on every bite we eat. Learning to find the balance is the key and it seems like you're working that out! Lilion - seems like you're back checking in regularly. That's an important key to success as far as I'm concerned! and Vlad.... i plugged my fitbit in to charge while i did the dishes tonight and I forgot it at home. I feel nekkid. But driving in to work i was thinking about this whole journey and the tools we use to help us. I can see using something like myfitness pal (MFP) pretty much forever because I need that accountability. I cheat otherwise. I even acknowledge to myself that i am cheating and I still cheat. I am weak. And a cheater. I accept this true fact about myself and I'm okay with it. But I can see a future where I will not be wearing a fitbit type thing. My hope is getting up off my butt and moving more will become more ingrained and habitual and I won't need the reminder on my wrist. That day is not today, or this week, or possibly but it's a goal I can work toward. I am not an exerciser. I am not going to start going to the gym or start running. I just know me too well. I will never exercise the pounds off. I've got to do the bulk of the work by eating less and eating well. But I do need to get out for walks or strenuous yard work daily and I'm focusing on that now that some days it looks like Spring might actually be coming (it hasn't snowed in over a week!). I've logged into MFP for 100 days in a row! Woot! Go me! And I've walked over 200 miles since I started recording my daily steps. Slow and steady. I've actually increased my calorie target to 1600 (was at 1200 while i was sick). I don't want to get boxed into a corner having to eat about nothing to maintain so now that I'm up and about more I've allowing myself a bit more food. But I'm trying to keep those calories as healthy as possible. We went out to eat last week and I had a delicious creme brulee for dessert but I'm trying to avoid daily "treats" because I know how for me one treat leads to another (and another and another). Every time i stop at the store for a necessity and escape without a bag of chips or a candy bar is a real battle won. I haven't lost weight this month, not really (month isn't over yet though). I'm maybe down a pound. But I don't usually weigh daily and my weekend weigh-in routine got interrupted by Easter and then a busy weekend. But I haven't gained either (despite the allowed extra 400 calories and the caramel popcorn and the creme brulee (and amazing cream of garlic soup at the same restaurant)). My clothes are fitting comfortably, I'm being more active, and right now I'm just working on building healthy habits and finding what will hopefully work long term. I'm gonna try to check in more regularly. You guys are good for me! |
Good morning!
I love all this activity! Vladadog - It's interesting. I think I've achieved the "naturally want to be more active" goal, at least for now. When I left my Fitbit charging at work last Friday, I still went for a walk after I got home from work. But it made me crazy that it wasn't being tracked. I wanted credit for it! Not sure if this is good or not. I'm going to try to join your "no treats," or maybe, more accurately, "rare treats" regimen. I have been out of control, and I know that all the relentless treat-seeking is causing me to just crave them more and more. Pushing uphill indeed. But it's spring! That should make things easier/better. Right? Amanda - I love that this has become a natural, ingrained part of your life at this point. You're losing, and it's not painful. It's such a beautiful thing! I also read American Gods recently. I didn't love it as much as I had hoped based on the enthusiasm of my recommender, but I enjoyed it. Glad that you had a relaxed, relaxing day off. Woot on the continued scale progress! Uber - I love that you're approaching the weight loss surgery question with quiet contemplation, rather than the desperation that I think can cause people to make bad decisions. WLS is not a magic pill. It is a major surgical procedure, fraught with complications and risks. One of those risks is that people assume that their commitment can stop after the knife is pulled from their abdomens. You seem particularly well-suited for WLS. You have the commitment, the drive, the knowledge to make the surgery work for you, if that's the decision you ultimately make. And if you do it before you have full-blown diabetes, you have more options. As Amanda said, whatever decision you make will be the right one for you, and we are going to cheer you on no matter which direction you take. I am completely, completely off the rails with my food, which impacts my exercise choices. I have been super busy at work. I am actually loving the fast-paced, "Oh, you're so indispensable" vibe that comes from all of the chaos at work, but I have been really bad at forcing my way out of the office or asking my husband to give on the family time. I have my half-marathon on Saturday, and I have my surgery scheduled in two weeks. This is not the time to go off the rails. So, I am telling myself that I should not do the surgery unless I am willing to be very disciplined for the next two weeks. I think that's fair. Why waste all of the money on a tummy tuck if I'm just going to regain it all? And I'm going to run shorter distances every day this week until Thursday. I can do this. I am not just coming off of a 30-day diet. I have been committed for close to a year. I am going to walk away from this "sheet cake moment." |
Good morning gang!
Vlada Clothes fitting more comfortably? Being more active? All good! I'm pretty intrigued by you guys and your fitbits. I'm wondering if I should go that route. Because one thing about me-- I'm SUPER inactive! Also, I'm thinking about your creme brulee and your caramel popcorn, and you're still losing! Which I really think is the key!!!! I don't know if there is science to back this up per se, but in my own case, last time, I started at about 1200-1300 calories, and by the time I got below a BMI of 30 I did not consistently lose even with vigorous (running) exercise and a daily intake average just under 1000. So, this is what the obesity specialist is telling me-- that this is INEVITABLE-- but I feel like maybe the people who say "don't go too low or you'll crash your metabolism..." maybe they are onto something. Remember "starvation mode" that is always kicking around the forums? Well, turns out that there is such a thing as "starvation mode". So, I don't know if there is any merit to the idea of trying to lose on the highest possible calories you can get away with, and also maybe accepting a weight that you can maintain on a reasonable number of calories, might be an alternative? Anyway, I'm just musing. You sound as if you are doing great! Laurie You have a lot on your plate. Training for a half-marathon, going for a tummy tuck, and crazy at work! I'm sorry you're struggling food-wise, but just remember that you are still a hundred pounds smaller than when you started-- that is a giant achievement. NO SHEET CAKE FOR YOU MISSY! Re WLS I'm JUST SO AMBIVALENT. Part of me is seduced by the siren song of "do this, and you won't be fat anymore..." and part of me remains skeptical that the cure for my mind is in my stomach. When the doctor says "you won't be hungry anymore..." I think, "Are you mad? Do you think I eat because I'm hungry????" I'm going to speak to the psychologist and tell her my concerns and be really really frank about the weird eating patterns that have caused my obesity and see what she says. Amanda Hope you're having a great day!!! So for me, I was really tense yesterday-- and then got an unexpected bit of bad news in the late afternoon. Felt bingey but kept it under control. Kind dreaded the scale this morning, as I felt bloated and knew I had eaten closer to 1500-1600 calories, and then, voila, down .6 from 273.6 to 273.0. What an awesome surprise! So my goal for the day is to change my workout time away from the pre-dinner hour as that keeps getting interfered with and pick a time where I can make sure I do it every day. |
Hey all!
Dread: Congrats on the large t-shirt!!! So great when you see something like that. It means so much more than the scale numbers!! Glad you had a great day off. That's so nice! Uber: I think you're the first person I've met who is considering WLS that I think is going into fully prepared and educated. I don't sense the desperation and lack of commitment that I've seen in some others. So, add me to the list of those who will always support whatever you decide to do! Vladadog: I use MFP too. I don't see a time that I won't have to use it! If I'm on task, recording all of it and paying attention, I lose weight. When I get lax about it, I don't do as well. I don't spend much time on having friends on there though. I just use it mainly as a recording tool. Laurie: Wow! Hard to believe that the race is right around the corner. And then, the surgery. It seemed kind of far away, but here it is. I think you're ready for both, in my opinion. So exciting! As for me.... Well.... I'm struggling. There's not a reason, but just struggling. One foot in front of the other... |
Hey everyone. I've had a rough weekend food-wise. Both Saturday night and Sunday afternoon I was in charity trivia tournaments (for a food bank and Habitat for Humanity respectively) and snacks abounded. I did pretty good Saturday, sticking to the carrots and hummus someone brought and logging as I ate (my teammates kind of scratched their heads at my scanning the UPC codes on the chip bags into MFP) and ordered Jimmy John's for dinner so I knew the calories of the sandwich. Sunday after the event my husband and I were just so exhausted (up late Saturday and up early Sunday) that we ordered Chinese and laid down for a nap until it came. Went over rather significantly on Sunday's dinner, but it was at least logged and intentional.
I'm in a mood from **** though these days. Feeling like the ONLY thing I have any control over is my eating. My house is a disaster - I do NOT exaggerate here, it's filthy. My yard work is undone. There are literally a dozen rather substantial, half started, home improvement projects. I'm behind at the office and will have to work this weekend to try to catch up. I feel like I'm just overwhelmed and floundering and instead of doing anything to fix it I shut down and do nothing at all. I hate this feeling. Everyone who knows me thinks I'm a little bit of a control freak. They'd be shocked to know how out of control my entire life is most of the time. At home at least, it's equally my husband's fault...but...(My husband who's complaining about "only" losing 20 lbs in 14 weeks. :mad: Butthead.) You know what? I'm not going to keep whining. I'm writing this at work and I need to get back to it. I'll try to check in later. |
Uber: White cheddar air-popped popcorn is my FAVORITE. It's my "guilty pleasure" that I don't feel one bit guilty about at all lol. Recognizing the threat of the binge and having the self-control to curb it by eating something way healthier is fantastic progress! Half the time I do that and end up eating both the healthy alternative AND the binge food anyways. Apparently your method is working if you're waking up to 0.6lb weight losses ;) Good luck with rescheduling the working out times!
Vlad: Ugh, I hate when I forget my FitBit. I feel nekkid too!!! Although I did manage to continue going to the gym when I forgot it like three days in a row last week lol. Congrats on the 100 days straight of MFP! I just can't seem to get into it. I feel like I'm logging my calories all wrong and then just get frustrated and stop. Congrats on the maintenance and for figuring out how to have "every now and then" treats instead of "daily" treats! Laurie: I read American Gods in about 12 hours on Monday because I was impatient to see how it ends...I immediately finished it and began re-reading it much slower and it's a lot better the second time around! What the heck??? How did your half-marathon come up so quickly??? And your surgery is right around the corner too! Where is this year going??? You can do it! We're rooting for you!!! You're totally ready for both, just gotta get back in the right mindset for it. Slash: You're right, I was so much happier about the shirt than I was about the weight loss so far lol. It's a much more concrete thing than these random numbers on the scale. I think everyone's been struggling lately. It's something in the air! Lilion: With as crazy and rough as it is, I'm glad you're still checking in with us and keeping accountable! I can totally relate to being a bit of a control-freak and feeling like everything is totally wild and out of control. Reading your post is like a snapshot of my life! And I can relate to stupid boys losing weight quickly and at half the effort >:( What a crazy day at work! I think everyone has spent their way through their tax refund by now, which means they're all coming back to donating plasma to get that extra dollar again...which is fine (donors get an extra dollar in their pocket, I have a job, and the company makes life-saving meds), except that I'm *tired*! We got completely slammed by new and return-new donors today and I did a ridiculous amount of paperwork. I only walked 8,000 steps and that sounds completely stupid compared to how much I *feel* like I walked. Ugh. I can relate to Laurie with enjoying the feeling of being "indispensable" at work, though. I complain about non-stop work and people needing me, but secretly I enjoy it lol. It's part of the reason I want to be a trainer, and then perhaps stepping up into a management position. Food was alright. We gave in and had Whataburger tonight for dinner...we forgot to cook yesterday and nothing was defrosted enough to make tonight. Whomp whomp. Gonna drink a lot of water and head to the gym bright and early tomorrow morning for an extra-long workout before work! Edit: By the way, gave a guy a shot in the arm at work today (I don't do this very often anymore since I stopped working at the nursing home), and he said he couldn't even feel it. My shot-giving skills are still on point, THANKYOUVERYMUCH. /smug |
Super quick check-in. I skimmed through the entries, and I want to get back to more in-depth responses this afternoon, which I will try to do. For now -- I had my pre-op appointment with my surgeon's office this morning. A bit terrified. I had a decent run yesterday. Only four miles, but that's what I could fit in, and it felt good. Doing better with food. Starving this morning, though, and really want to eat everything. But I am going to focus on the water, cuz that's what I need.
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Hey All
Wow! Great to see so much action around here! Diane I'm sorry you're struggling! I remember when you were a MACHINE and I was struggling. It's always like that, isn't it? Some times are easy and some are hard! Just keep doing the one-day-at-a-time thing, and I bet that once your work slacks off a little again and you're in a more restful place, you'll be right back on it. And speaking of someone who actually was forced to see the original high weight on the scale again, ANY weight below your high weight has to be put in the success column! Amanda So great that you love what you do and that you love it even more when it's busy! I am an RN but I don't work in the field anymore-- and I always HATED giving shots! Hated it! So you are awesomeness itself! And why not go to Whataburger if it makes your life easier-- that's the beauty of the loose plan, there is really no one thing that can throw you off track. Lillion Originally Posted by : Laurie Waving! Very exciting if scary news about TT so fast approaching. I think you will be thrilled with results and it will be worth it! So, I don't know what's up but I'm having a TOTALLY AWESOME scale week. Was down to 271 this morning! And all this without really stressing myself out about food at all. In fact, I thought I had two sort of high days this week. I'm still not tracking on MFP but I am sticking very religiously to just two meals a day plus coffee with milk for breakfast (I end up taking in about a cup to a cup and a half of 2% so it's pretty substantial.) I'm finding that as long as I stick to pretty much healthy choices and normal serving sizes, I can eat until I'm stuffed at both lunch and dinner. I am not getting hungry at all, and I don't feel deprived. And I'm losing! It's like magic! Compared to previous trips down the scale I'm being a lot more relaxed about what I eat, and it definitely leaves me feeling less hungry, and less cravey. I don't know. Maybe it's not what I'm doing at all, but just my very high level of commitment to improve my health. On the exercise front, I did Week 4 Day 1 of C25k which has two three minute runs and two five minute runs. I made it through the first five minute run, but I walked an extra two minutes, cutting the second 5 minute run to 3 minutes. I am definitely finding that aggressive hydration is helping a lot with the leg cramps. I think the next time I do the workout I'll be able to do the two 5 minute runs. I'm running WAAAAY slower than I did before-- treadmill at 3.9-4.2, which in the past I would have considered a walk! I used to go back and forth between 5.0 and 3.7 for the walks. But, I'm in the 270s and running, so I'm proud of myself and I doing the interval workouts really seems to improve my overall fitness level so much faster! I'm REALLY LOOKING FORWARD to seeing the 260s. Over the past few years I've gone up and down the scale from low 270s to low 280s a bunch of times, but when I hit 260 I start to feel a difference in how my clothes fit, etc. |
Uber and Panda, thanks. I appreciate the empathy. I remember this feeling from last time I lost. It seems that I go through life with these things piling up and most of the time they don't bother me. When I'm trying to get ONE thing straight though, it seems that the other issues are insurmountable. Funny, the house was a disaster when I didn't care if I was eating 4,000 calories a day and I didn't freak out at it, nor did I get so upset when I thought about all the projects then. So why does it matter now? Something for me to think about I guess.
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