Diane - Woot on the scale dip! And on getting back on track. And for a great walk. And for restraining yourself from harming your daughter. So much to celebrate in your post. =) Thank you, as always, for the kind words and the encouragement. I am feeling good about figuring out how to make this work, with support from this group. Hope you were able to get back in the gym today.

Carter - 187. You have rocked this ever since you joined us again in early January. And, you are proving that you can make good progress even in the absence of complete perfection. I love seeing that. And you are right about moving the goal posts. I have repented and am trying to adjust to 160ish as my "new normal." I was looking at your stats in your signature. Our numbers are very similar. My high weight was 278 in May 2012. My low weight (at least since 2008) is the 159 I saw a couple of days ago on the scale. I am hoping to be as successful at maintenance as you have been. (I know you have had a recent regain, but you maintained for some time, and you are nipping the regain in the bud.)

Of course, on Day 2 of my determination to weight daily, I am up again. 161.4 this morning. And I ran 3 miles yesterday. And I stayed processed-sugar-free yesterday, choosing sugar snap peas over the chocolate that I always crave in the afternoon. But I also had a pretty solid lifting session, and am sore today. So I am just documenting it and moving on. I am starting to think that if I really want to stay under 160, I should go down to 155 and adopt a maintenance range of 155-160. But just going to try to chill, keep trying to develop strategies that will help me make better food choices (really as much because of the way a bunch of junk makes me feel physically as because the junk makes me gain weight), and keep training for my half-marathon and trying to tone and maintain muscle. If I get above 165, then maybe I will be less chill about things.

The husband is still trying to deal with my changing body, and I'm trying to be patient about it. He hugged me this morning before we left for work, and moved his hand up and down my side. Curious, I said, "What's wrong? What are you feeling?" And he said, "It seems to be your rib cage." He did not say it in a complimentary manner, but neither was it excessively hostile. But whatever. I'm going to try to chill here too and let him get used to it. I know his fears are rooted in thinking that I will leave him because I'll be so hot that some irresistible guy will sweep me off my feet. But here's the secret - No guy is irresistible, and I have lived long enough to recognize that. My guy is pretty fantastic, when he's not being a complete jerk, and he deserves some time to adjust. Also, my weight when I met him was about 220, and it increased to 263 at one point, and he never said, "Wow - your *** is so huge now!" So, I'm going to give him points for that.

Plan today - Eat like I did yesterday, avoiding the chocolate in favor of blueberries or peas. I thought about doing some hill work at the gym today, but I think I might just run outside since it's supposed to get colder again tomorrow and snow this weekend.

Hope everyone has a great day!

Carter: I love what you post here! It's helpful to hear your thoughts about goal weights as you start heading back down the scale. I have left my ticker at 180, because I really want to make that goal. But then, I do think that won't be the final goal. So I appreciate hearing how you look at it! You are doing amazing!

Laurie: That's so true about being patient with your husband. Sometimes I wish my husband would be so excited about it when I lose. Don't get me wrong, he is supportive, he just doesn't say much. But, then remembering that he also didn't say much about how bad it was when I was 294, I have to accept both ways! When I bring it up, he is always supportive. But I do have to bring it up! I also think you are wise to give yourself a 5 pound range. It is so hard to keep on one weight without fluctuation. You would drive yourself crazy!

For me, I went to bed early last night, so I'm feeling much better. I think I'll make it through the day today! I was down again this morning on the scale. I hope it keeps it up! I need to see that number come way down.

Good morning!

Diane - Yay for the continued scale success! It is so hard to do that first "I need to figure out how much damage has been done" weigh-in. But so fantastic when you do it so that you can celebrate as that number comes crashing down. Hope you were able to get to back to your fitness regimen.

Last night, my husband made explicit what he has hinted at for some time, and what his actions and body language have conveyed. He said he doesn't like to touch me any more because I "have no mass." He again said my boobs are gone and that my *** is now bony. Neither of these are true, but it's not something where I can disprove him by evidence. "Gone? My inability to go without a bra, even at night, and my D-cup would disagree with you." He also talked about my saggy skin. He complained about my running and the fact that I had to work late last night so that I could finish a brief. "I have a regular job with regular hours," he said. Sidenote - I envy his job with its low levels of responsibility, but my job isn't his job. Still, this doesn't feel like it's truly about the weight loss. It feels as though he's insecure and is trying to drive a wedge between us so that he can be the one to end it instead of me. Every time I do something "self-improvement" related, he freaks out and thinks I am going to leave him. Get a better job that comes with a raise? I am going to leave him. Save money so that I have an emergency fund? It's so I can leave him. Lose some weight? Doing it so I can trade up. His favorite celebrities are Scarlett Johansson and Beyonce. Not "skinny" celebrities, but much thinner than 160-pound me, which confirms for me that it's not about the weight. If I have to choose between losing the essence of who I am and being married to him or keeping my self-respect and losing him, I will choose the second option every time. I just wish he could get it together, cuz this is killing me. I asked him if we could go to counseling, and he grudgingly agreed.

However, I am doing well otherwise. I have been consciously working at substituting fruits and veggies for the afternoon chocolate that I crave, and it has worked wonders for my chocolate cravings. Yesterday was predicted to be the last warm day for a while, so instead of doing "hill work" on the treadmill yesterday, I ran outside. I considered trying to do my "long run" of 11 miles, but since I had the brief to finish, I just did 5 miles. But I didn't seek out the level surface of the track. Rather, I just walked outside my office and started running, managing to run up a few minor hills. I didn't weigh this morning, though, as my "discussion" with my husband kept me up until almost 3:30, and my weight spikes when I get almost no sleep. I was exhausted when I got home from work last night, though, and my body just ached. Not specific, injury-type aches, but just a general exhaustion.

Today's plan - I plan to continue eating as normal. I will get my steps in (11K), but I don't plan on running, and I have a meeting this evening that prevents my lifting at the regular time. I am not going to try to fit it in elsewhere. I also plan on going to bed early. And maybe avoiding any discussions with my husband, the body-shamer-in-chief.

If we didn't have bad days, it would be harder to appreciate the good ones. Right?

Hope everyone does have a great day today, though.

Hey Everybody

Diane Going to bed early is such a small but wonderful boost, isn't it? Amazing what sleep can do. Sounds as if you are one hundred percent heading in the right direction. Glad you lived through the daughter drama! :-)

Carter Those Facebook memories photos! I can really relate to that! Yet, I'm pretty well convinced that for us former fatties, the trimmest possible weight may not be sustainable. I was looking at some photos of myself, and I came across one from January 2011. I know I weighed around 190, and I looked really thin-- like actually thin-- For one thing, I was VERY FIT as I ran and lifted all the time. For another thing, I had a recalcitrant spare tire around my middle-- mostly loose skin-- that must have weighed something. You seemed to have figured out maintenance much better than I did!!!!! You are my maintenance idol! But I'm convinced that holding at an acceptable weight is FAR better than bouncing way back up!

Laurie So, this partner stuff is stressful! Being fit, having a great job, being successful and everything you do? It's all good!! But it is hard when that starts to create problems!!! It's frustrating-- because life isn't a zero-sum game and our success shouldn't be read as someone else's failure. I have ONE HUNDRED per cent seen this in my own life. I went from being a fat, shy undistinguished mom to a very successful author. I'm proud of my accomplishment but I was really shocked to find that members of my own family found my newfound success very threatening. People thought they had me pegged, and when suddenly I didn't fit their image anymore some people found that intimidating. And yet, I still felt exactly like myself with the same amount of merits versus problems. It's hard, because when someone is threatened by you, it's not your problem-- it's theirs! So good luck to you with that. You need to be a rock as you enter maintenance and banish any negative feedback from the equation.

So, as for me. Yesterday started out good, but ended up bad. I had a mini-binge on 3 chocolate chip cookies before I threw the rest away. I'm trying to take this as a learning experience. So, two triggers.

1. Feel over-full is a trigger for me. I know that seems weird, but when I over eat, it triggers me to eat more. I know it makes no sense, but it's true. So yesterday, I had this delicious homemade bean soup-- not too high in calories, so at lunch I ate not just one bowl but two. I was stuffed. At 3 pm, I was still full, but I ate an orange. By dinner time, I wasn't really hungry, but did that stop me? No, I ate another bowl of bean soup. Now, at this point, I was still inside my calorie range, but I had over-eaten my hunger.

2. Then came trigger number two: I went to the store for a quick trip during my son's evening sports practice. BAD IDEA. Quickie trips to the store are definite danger zones for me. I really wish I never had to set foot in a super market, and a quick "grab something" trip, when I'm alone, is a definite NO-NO. I have a tendency to binge treats while I'm alone in my car.

So, that was my first major derail since my restart, but it's only in the last six months that I realized that feeling full is a trigger for bingeing, so I'm really going to watch that. I think it might come from the "what the ****" school of being in a binge/restrict/binge cycle-- once you've eaten too much it's "all wrecked" and you might as well give up.
I can resist real hunger-- head hunger is much harder for me. Weird.

Laurie: Dang. That's some tough stuff to have going on. I am sure there are things that our spouses must "deal with" as we go through the process. But come on! I don't understand wanting you to be heavier and less fit. You are doing this to be healthier!! I'm so sorry! Hopefully counseling will help. I think that's the best thing for you. Hang in there, I think you're doing great!

Uber: So, not to pry, but do you use your real name as author or do you have a pen name? (I think that's what they call it.) Sounds like you're doing well with looking at cause and effect on weight gain/loss. Amazing how our minds work.

For me... good news! I made it to Body Pump! I made it through and I'm feeling pretty good. I'm feeling a little stiff from the workout, and tomorrow might be a little challenging. :) But it really felt good to be lifting again. Lots of progress lost over the past couple of months, but I'll be patient and get it back.

Diane - WOO HOO!!! I am so excited you were able to get through Body Pump. A little stiff is normal, especially after being off it so long, so I hope it stays in the normal range. I can't wait for your update tomorrow, hopefully with a triumphant - I am back, baby! Thank you, as always, for your kindness and understanding of my drama. It is nice to have support when things are going a bit crazy.

Uber - Until you wrote that, I hadn't thought of being overfull as a trigger. But it totally is for me as well. In fact, it happened to me yesterday, and it was very similar to your situation. It wasn't that I was eating so much that I was totally blowing my calorie budget. It was that giving myself permission to eat things that I knew I didn't really want or need made me think that I had no control over future decisions, and I ended up eating stuff that just made me feel uncomfortable. That is insanely good insight for me. I know that being overtired really triggers bad decision-making for me, and I had chalked it up to that. But definitely. Being overfull is a binge trigger for me as well. How interesting it is for me that, decades into this journey, I discover entirely new things. I contrast that with the professionals, like the dietitian at your surgeon's office, who keep recycling the old, everyone-knows-that-just-saying-this-doesn't-work garbage. I also totally relate to your "I'm still me" thoughts. I currently have a fairly responsible position, and one of my co-workers whose work I oversee freaked out because he did something I thought was funny, but his coworkers convinced him that "attorneys don't have our sense of humor or understanding," and he needed to be "tiptoeing when around the attorneys." Just so you know, I have become a voracious audiobook consumer because I listen when I walk or run, and every time I listen to a new author, I think, "This is probably Uber."

Today is a much better day. I ate stupidly yesterday, and had to walk around my kid's school after attending an assembly to get my 11K steps in, but I did get to bed at a decent time. I woke up this morning and contemplated whether I should weigh as I was brushing my teeth. I ate badly yesterday, and knew I needed to do better today without scale confirmation. On the other hand, I had committed myself to this "maintenance process" of data gathering, and I couldn't very well gather data without weighing after off-days. So, I got on. And I was 160.4. I am trying not to internalize this as "Now I can eat anything I want and I don't need to exercise!" =) I also scheduled a consultation with a plastic surgeon. I want to talk about doing a tummy tuck and breast lift. I thought I would want to wait until after a year of maintenance, but I was totally wrong. It wasn't even spurred by my husband's venting about my saggy skin. I don't know that I will do it, but I have been getting prescribed a cream for a rash caused by my stomach overhang, at least partly so I can document medical history of problems so that I might be able to get insurance to cover it. We'll see if I actually want to follow through. For now, it's just gathering information.

Today's plan - Leave work early to run my 11 miles. Eat responsibly.

Diane - WOO HOO!!! I am so excited you were able to get through Body Pump. A little stiff is normal, especially after being off it so long, so I hope it stays in the normal range. I can't wait for your update tomorrow, hopefully with a triumphant - I am back, baby! Thank you, as always, for your kindness and understanding of my drama. It is nice to have support when things are going a bit crazy.

Uber - Until you wrote that, I hadn't thought of being overfull as a trigger. But it totally is for me as well. In fact, it happened to me yesterday, and it was very similar to your situation. It wasn't that I was eating so much that I was totally blowing my calorie budget. It was that giving myself permission to eat things that I knew I didn't really want or need made me think that I had no control over future decisions, and I ended up eating stuff that just made me feel uncomfortable. That is insanely good insight for me. I know that being overtired really triggers bad decision-making for me, and I had chalked it up to that. But definitely. Being overfull is a binge trigger for me as well. How interesting it is for me that, decades into this journey, I discover entirely new things. I contrast that with the professionals, like the dietitian at your surgeon's office, who keep recycling the old, everyone-knows-that-just-saying-this-doesn't-work garbage. I also totally relate to your "I'm still me" thoughts. I currently have a fairly responsible position, and one of my co-workers whose work I oversee freaked out because he did something I thought was funny, but his coworkers convinced him that "attorneys don't have our sense of humor or understanding," and he needed to be "tiptoeing when around the attorneys." Just so you know, I have become a voracious audiobook consumer because I listen when I walk or run, and every time I listen to a new author, I think, "This is probably Uber."

Today is a much better day. I ate stupidly yesterday, and had to walk around my kid's school after attending an assembly to get my 11K steps in, but I did get to bed at a decent time. I woke up this morning and contemplated whether I should weigh as I was brushing my teeth. I ate badly yesterday, and knew I needed to do better today without scale confirmation. On the other hand, I had committed myself to this "maintenance process" of data gathering, and I couldn't very well gather data without weighing after off-days. So, I got on. And I was 160.4. I am trying not to internalize this as "Now I can eat anything I want and I don't need to exercise!" =) I also scheduled a consultation with a plastic surgeon. I want to talk about doing a tummy tuck and breast lift. I thought I would want to wait until after a year of maintenance, but I was totally wrong. It wasn't even spurred by my husband's venting about my saggy skin. I don't know that I will do it, but I have been getting prescribed a cream for a rash caused by my stomach overhang, at least partly so I can document medical history of problems so that I might be able to get insurance to cover it. We'll see if I actually want to follow through. For now, it's just gathering information.

Today's plan - Leave work early to run my 11 miles. Eat responsibly.

Laurie: While I think that you can't really say that you can eat anything and not ever exercise, I also think that you are at a point that you don't have to stress about it as much as before. You've reached a really good point! You don't want to let it go and regain a bunch, but maintenance should be a little less serious! You'll have to let us know about the surgery options. I would be interested to hear more about that, because I know I'll be there too with excess skin.

For me, I was a little worried last night because my neck was very tight and stiff. But this morning, I'm not feeling anything out of the ordinary. My legs, chest, and arms are sore, but just like they are when you get back to lifting after having time off. So, I'll still take it somewhat easy on the weights, but I think I've recovered.

Good morning folks. :coffee:

Well I knew I would start struggling sooner or later, and boy have I struggled the last few days. I have had a lot less control over my eating - first overeating a little but just on-plan foods; then veering completely off-plan, though still making SOME attempt to keep control over myself.

I don't know what it is - a particularly stressful time at work (I am giving a presentation to the head of the company later this week, and the leadup to that, along with some other projects I have to keep going in parallel, is certainly keeping me tense), my period coming soon, or the chronic blues that I always have to stave off to get through life - but whatever it is, I've not been in good control, and the scale knows it. From 189 earlier in the week, to 192 yesterday, to an alarming 194 today. I know it's not "real" weight, and I'm sure things will equalize once I've been back on plan for a few days and my period comes. But it's not a great feeling.

Okay quickly before I get moving:

Laurie: I am so sorry about what's going on with your husband. I don't have any advice about managing that kind of insecurity. It sounds like the weight issue opened the gateway for other insecurities as well, like having a less important job than yours, and so on. I hope the counseling helps him get a grip on that, and also helps him believe you that he has nothing to worry about (if, in fact, he doesn't). But it doesn't sound like you're letting it derail you at all, which is wonderful to see - you know what your plan is about, and you'll be happy to have him on board with you, but if he's not, you're still not stopping the train.

Uber: Good insights about your triggers and also what are your dangerous eating opportunities. I have some similar issues about picking up binge-items in the store and eating them in the car. I said something last week about skipping a trip to Petco because the 5-dollar store with the incredible candy selection is right next door to the Petco. Well, part of my not-so-great weekend included a swing by Petco on Friday, and I didn't resist the 5-dollar store, and thankfully I only spent 2 dollars on candy but it was 2 dollars more candy than I needed. Then I white-knuckled my way through yesterday's grocery shopping and managed not to buy anything worse than some cheese that I don't really need to have in the house. Those opportunities to set yourself up for a binge, especially when one has been in the habit of taking advantage of them, can be really, really brutal.

Diane: So glad you are on the mend. Ordinary workout soreness is to be expected after an enforced break like yours - you are right to take it easy, but I bet you'll be back up to speed in no time. Hang in there!

Good morning!

Diane - So glad to hear that the stiffness went away so easily and that you are not having a relapse. And glad you got to feel the "good" soreness that comes from hitting it hard when you get back to the gym. I will give you an update after my surgery consultation on Thursday. I am meeting with someone local, but am also looking into Mexico options. I want to see if I can get my insurance to cover anything, Bill Paxton's death from surgical complications this weekend (for a needed surgery) gives me pause about the optional surgery, but I have so much extra skin hanging from my abdomen that it makes pants fit really funky. I will let you know how the consultation goes.

Carter - UGH. I think those struggle times are inevitable. At least, they always have been for me. I hope you got rid of the $2 worth of candy. (On a side note - candy is delicious.) I hate the white=knuckling days, but often, one or two of these strung together mean a quick end to a lapse of self-discipline. And, of course, combining that with some pre-menstrual cravings can be disastrous. I always wonder if the PMS stuff spawns the lack of self-discipline or if it just aggravates it. Adding scale damage to the mix tends to be a perfect storm for me. But you are a seasoned veteran, and it sounds like you've got this under control. But, to reiterate, UGH. Why can't it just be a simple matter of "in versus out," the way people say. It's the mental stuff that is the worst. I, too, struggle with depression, actually, and it surprises me when I stop to catalog all of the things I do to stave off the depression. Sometimes, I succeed. Sometimes, I don't.

I opted for a chill weekend. I ate well, but not perfectly, on Saturday. I was pretty close to perfect on Sunday. Sunday morning's weight was 161.6. This morning's weight was 160.4. I think I'm going to try to tighten it up for the next few weeks and see if I can get down to 155ish. I would love to be in a position where I am consistently below 160. I did decide to try to run a 10-minute mile (6.0 mph) yesterday. Just one. And succeeded. I did not, however, run the 11 miles that I had planned. I started and had all these physical things happening that I wasn't expecting, and probably were the result of eating too much in the few hours leading up to the run. Not that I ate much. But I could not burp out the extremely uncomfortable bubbles in my chest, and I was having heartburn-related chest pains. So, I called it good at about 6.5 miles. I will do my 11 miles this weekend.

Today's plan - Tighten up the food stuff. I am going to choose green or blue (blueberries) over chocolate today. My running goal is to run five miles at 5.6 mph.

Carter: It sounds like you recognize it for what it was, and like Laurie said, it is definitely inevitable that those bad days will happen. I think you're handling it like a pro, though. You've recognized it for what it is, and you're not throwing your hands up in defeat. You've got this! You'll be back on track. So frustrating, though, to constantly have the battle, right?

Laurie: Sounds like you were smart not to push too hard to get the 11 miles. You don't want to mess with those body issue warnings. Maybe next time, you'll get it! I also think that going closer to 155 might give you the range you want. I think it would be easier to be ok with it, if you are in a range just below 160. I don't know why, but I think staying below would cause less stress than constantly being just above one of those decade numbers.

For me, I'm with Carter.... I had an off plan weekend, for the most part. I don't really know why, it was just not disciplined at all. So, back to it this morning and I'll work on staying dedicated over next weekend. Honestly, I think it started when I didn't go to the gym on Friday. I was trying to make sure I was ok from the previous day, and it just snowballed. I'll own it and move on...

I went to spin class today for the first time in a long time. I'm feeling it... My legs were pretty wobbly after that. It worked out well, and I didn't feel pain, so I'm thinking that I'm definitely on the mend. Now to just keep progressing. I could tell that I was not to the level that I had been at before, which is frustrating. But, on the other hand, I recognize now just how well I was doing!!! Sometimes, you can't tell when you are in the midst of it all. But, looking back, I was nothing less than "fierce" with spin. I will get back there!!

Hey Everybody!

Diane I'm really glad to hear that you are back to body pump and that the soreness proved to be transitory, and then a spin class with no soreness, so it sounds you are back on track! Even though you are not where you want to be, at least you know what it is supposed to feel like and that is great! I believe that you were FIERCE and you will get back there!!! As for my writing-- I write under my real name AND under a pen name. Neither is Uber! :-) And I look super skinny in my author photos thanks to the magic of photoshop. :-)


Carter The Petco, the Dollar STore, the candy... all very familiar scenarios to me!!! But the worst of it is why sometimes it's so hard and other times so easy!! I think staying on track requires a lot of concentration, and when our concentration is being dragged in too many directions the focus on weight loss is harder. I one hundred per cent agree that it's the mental stuff that is hard. That is the case for me! And even a long list of techniques doesn't do it for us every single time. The one thing that really does help me stay on track is regular exercise, but sometimes keeping with the exercise is just as hard as keeping with the eating. Sigh... the good news is you made it through!

Laurie I think looking into the loose skin removal is REALLY SMART. I'm sorry I didn't look into it back when I weighed 190-- at that time I was slim everywhere and had a spare tire around my middle which affected how I fit into clothes-- I think it can be a real psychological boost to look in the mirror and not see tummy! Glad you didn't try to run 11 miles when your tummy was feeling iffy, but wow! Look at you running 11 miles! Too funny about you imagining that you are listening to UBER! No fat characters in my books, LOL. :-)

So, as for me... I had a disheartening experience several days ago, I met a friend on a college campus. It was perfectly flat. We walked around for about 2.5 hours-- just strolling on a flat surface. By the time we sat down for lunch, I felt really tired and shaky--- I'm not sure if it was just because I had skipped breakfast and was getting hungry, or I was just tired. After lunch I felt better. But the next day? I REALLY sore!!! Like I had gone for a long mountain hike or something instead of just strolling around. I cannot for the life of me figure out why I was so tired!?!?!?! The only thing I can think of is that I was walking funny bc I was wearing slip-ons instead of regular walking shoes? I do walk on a treadmill for exercise-- usually 1/2 an hour with hills. I've never gotten sore or tired from just walking around. Maybe it's just the effect of the extra weight? I'm about 25 higher than any weight I've been in the last five years? Anyway, it really made me feel worried about my physical stamina...I haven't done the treadmill in about 2 weeks bc we had some flooding in my garage, but still...

On a brighter note, I felt like I was going through big-time withdrawal trying to adjust to much lower calories, but yesterday, my hunger really fell off. I do find that my body will adjust to eating less but the beginning his hard. My weight still sitting at a 7 lb loss from my start weight-- good but I sure don't lose as fast as I used to.

Good morning everyone. :coffee:

Still up around 192 this morning. I know I didn't overeat enough to put on 3 pounds of fat this weekend, so I'm trying to be patient and wait for this hiccup to even itself out. Yesterday I stuck to plan by the skin of my teeth - there were some real false starts toward unwise snacks but I actually managed to stop myself. There is serious white-knuckling going on here, folks. I also took a little 5k run yesterday afternoon (I hadn't done it in the morning because I had a meeting I needed to prepare for). This morning I went to the gym for a strength workout and I am hoping to stick to plan again today - and hoping it will be a little bit easier. I have a boatload of work to do in the next couple of days. So of course my mind keeps wandering over to my novel. :dizzy:

Ubergirl: Don't be too hard on yourself about the soreness - those shoes might really have made a big difference. Just thinking about 2.5 hours on my feet in the wrong shoes makes my arches and calves ache. I can't overstate the value of wearing the right shoes. When you get a chance, put on your better walking shoes and get back on that treadmill, or out on the street, and build your stamina back up.

As for the mental stuff, I used to say that my secret to weight loss was "eat less, exercise more", and all the rest was commentary - meaning the tips, tricks, mental games, and engineering of my environment to make eating less and exercising more easier than it might otherwise be. But when those systems break down, one just feels helpless in the irresistible pull of delicious food and delicious indolence. Maintaining those systems does require a certain amount of discipline - and I'll be damned if I can figure out where the discipline comes from, or where it goes when it isn't there.

Diane: I love your realization that you were exercising at a fierce level before your injury. It is always valuable to step back and take pride in your accomplishments, and it's so often hard to do that when you are just looking at how far left you have to go (not how far you've come). I'm sorry you caught my off-plan bug this weekend - we'll keep it on track this week, somehow.

Laurie: I am still in awe of your running goals, my friend, when I was feeling pleased that the middle mile of my 5k the other day was just 13'00". :lol: As for the $2 worth of candy - I am afraid it was all in my belly by the time I got home. So, in a way you could say I got rid of it. :dizzy:

Good morning! It is a good morning when I open up this thread and see new messages from Diane, Uber, and Carter! Hopefully, we'll hear from Mandy soon about her new treadmill and running shoes and recapture a few others who have drifted in and out of here.

Diane - You are fierce, girl. Always have been. I know that you have struggled through the neck and shoulder injury, but you did that with fierceness, too. In my years (yes, it's been years) of posting on this thread, you are the most consistent presence -- sometimes veering off-track, but never losing the path the way I tend to. I am so incredibly glad you're back in that gym and regaining the progress that you lost. As the resident expert of getting off-track and losing progress (though for reasons that are not justifiable), I promise it is much easier to regain your dominance in the gym than to start fresh. And as for the plan discipline -- as Carter said, it's something we're going to be back to beginning today.

Uber - I LOVE fat characters! But I listen primarily to thrillers / mysteries, and authors tend to make all these characters super hot and fit. Not that I care a lot. In fact, the fact that the victims tend to be super hot makes me feel just a teeny bit more secure that I won't become a victim of a serial killer. =) Again, I find myself agreeing with Carter. Shoes make a tremendous difference. I'm so serious about not injuring my feet (I have plantar fasciitis) that I wear tennis shoes to work, whether I am wearing a suit (for court dates or to meet with certain clients) or my more casual business attire. I keep heels at my office and in my car, but I only change into them for the meeting or court hearing itself. Even if I have to park at a distance, I will wait to change into my shoes until I am a block or so away from my destination. And 2.5 hours is a LONG time to walk, even with good shoes. And yay for the loss and for the adjustment to lower calories! Hopefully, this is the beginning of a long period of staying on plan with ease. We all deserve those.

Carter - I remember studying for the bar exam or law school finals and desperately wanting to clean my house. (Full disclosure - I did some housecleaning last Saturday and realized that I hadn't decluttered the living room since November. I do not suffer dirty dishes, but I tend to be pretty chill about the state of my house in general.) It got so bad that I refused to allow myself to study at home. Isn't it weird how attractive doing things that are necessarily lower on the priority list can be? And LOL on efficiently getting rid of the candy! It's interesting that our work-out plans seem to have dovetailed these past few days. I, too, ran a 5K yesterday, and I, too, have strength training scheduled for today. Maybe we're really the same person? Only you have a jumpstart on ditching the law career and writing the novel, two things I can totally see as possible for my future, even though I have no plans to actually do them.

I had planned on running 5 miles yesterday, but I had an unanticipated meeting get added to my afternoon calendar, so I had to accommodate both the meeting and going home to change into a suit. (I usually keep a suit at my office, just in case, but I had finally gotten rid of my size 18 suit that hasn't fit me for months, and haven't replaced it yet.) So, I had less time than I thought I would, so I settled for a 5K run. I ran 3.1 miles in 33:16 for an average pace of 10:44-minute miles. Full disclosure - When I pace up, I have a difficult time breathing, so probably a total of one or two minutes of that 33 minutes was spent intermittently just trying to catch a breath while the treadmill kept zooming. It feels like cheating, but I'm not taking a test. I'm training my body to be able to run faster, and for me, this is just a part of that process. I used to take breathing breaks when I ran at 5.0 mph for 3-minute intervals, and now I don't have to. Anyway, I ran a 5K at a pretty decent pace, and I feel good about it. =)

I did eat way too much last night, though. I toed the line at work, but my husband had made fillet mignon. And I ate until I was too full. Then, I ate an ice cream cookie that I had bought for my husband, who had told me he didn't want it, and it sat there for a week until I finally decided I would eat it a small piece at a time, but actually ended up finishing off 3/4 of it last night. I know I'm not good at moderation. =) And I also had some unnecessary popcorn and crackers. I didn't want to weigh this morning, but I did. And I was down 2.4 pounds from yesterday for a new low of 158. So now it's official. When I eat on plan, I gain weight. When I go completely off plan, I lose weight. And this is why the whole thing can drive me crazy. Cuz I know that fewer calories in and more calories out results in weight loss that is not linear. And I know that my results just prove that the scale measures everything, not just whether I'm losing fat. But it can all mess with my (not-always-that-stable) head sometimes.

Today's plan - I think I am going to sneak in a short run today outside. Like maybe two miles. I probably shouldn't, because my training plan is to run three days a week, but it's beautiful outside and it's supposed to get cold again this weekend. I am going to lift weights tonight, and I am going to stick with my eating plan. And probably see a scale bump tomorrow.

Uber: Yeah, I will echo what everyone says. I think without really good walking shoes, you were out and about a long time. I also think that the treadmill tends to cushion our steps, with a little give while you walk. When you're out and about, the ground is so much harder. I had noticed this when I went from running inside to outside. It was so much harder, and I think it is more of a factor of being in an uncontrolled environment. :)

Carter: So hard to focus on what you have to do when there are things that you would rather do!! ha! I'm sure you'd love to work on your novel!! Now we need to just work on staying on plan through the weekend!

Laurie: Ice cream cookies are way too good. I know that just about anything cookie related is tempting to me. But, there you go. You eat cookies and lose weight! Ha! Sometimes this is just beyond what we can all figure out!

For me, still feeling good. I went to Body Pump this morning. It went well and I feel fine. It feels good getting back to it. I might try running tonight. We'll see how motivated I am after work. I should, but I am not looking forward to trying to get back into it again. I wasn't great last night with food. I'll try again today...