Hey there Laurie!

Now that I found out they don't track the websites we go to at work, I'm more comfortable about posting - Especially as my boss said hey - do what you need to get to your goal. That is driven more because he hates fat people then him liking me... but if it gets me what I need then I'm good with it.

I had to share something I put in the 230s/220s yesterday because it still is cracking me up. You know how some days you get that little bit of inspiration and the words just flow... well this was one of those.

originally posted 8/18/16
I have finally figured out my relationship with my scale.

It's like that one clique you desperately wanted to be a part of in high school... you want it to like you, you get giddy when it shows you any kind of positive response, yet you resent it at the same time for having the 'power" or prestige. You almost hate it at times when it ignores you or responds negatively yet you keep going back day after day hoping for something positive to happen.

That is me and my scale. Yup. we never progressed past the "Jock Hall" or 3rd floor girls bathroom groupings... I am still on the outside in the art room thinking one day of I did everything right - it would like me. it would really, really like me.

*SIGH*

Right now my scale doesn't like me and I resent it! I resent it so hard that I want to do it harm... but I know I can't. I also know I shouldn't weigh during the week - but I did. I got cocky. I saw that the scale smiled at me Monday when no one else was around to witness it... and today it all but gave me a wedgie and stuffed me in a locker.

Monday - 219.4 Today - 222.4 WTF?!?!?! I'm dropping out of school!



Oh and to make this worse - the scale was 223.4 today - and I am no where near TOM so no excuse there.

Hey all! Hope everyone is having a good weekend. I'm hoping for a little scale love tomorrow! Then, back to normal workouts again.

Kat - LOL. That is such a great analogy! And glad your boss is on board. You're right -- doesn't matter why (though it would be nice not to have to deal with a fat-negative person all the time) -- just matters that you don't have to fight to do what you need to do for you. And yeah. The scale is sometimes just mysterious that way. Like the leader of the clique -- sometimes you do everything exactly right, and she still snubs you.

Diane - Glad you're getting back into the swing of things. Sometimes, that's tough after coming down the high of accomplishing a big goal and being totally physically worn out. Hope this morning's weigh-in rewards you appropriately for all you've accomplished this last week.

I have a presentation today, and my black dress pants were just falling off of me, so I bought the smaller size. I grabbed them and my other, too-big pants from the closet this morning, knowing I could just wear the too-big ones if the ones I bought were too small for me. I looked at the waist and thought, "This will never work, and I will feel stupid for thinking I could wear them when they won'ts even clear my hips." But they fit! And they're actually on the looser end of the spectrum. I hope so badly I can finally get to a weight that I can maintain (and want to maintain) so that I can stop the clothes merry-go-round.

I also had a rough weekend with the husband. He is freaking out about the weight loss. He thinks I am going to leave him for some buff guy who enjoys running with me and will play tennis and basketball, etc. with me. He makes me crazy when he does this. He has never done these things with me, and I have always done these things (not always consistently, though) since we met. I was about this weight when we first started dating seriously, and have been 25 pounds lighter before. I have not only never cheated, but never had the slightest temptation to cheat. Trying to be patient with his insecurities, but kind of frustrating that I feel like I can't share my victories with him. I had a great run on Saturday, but when I told him how excited I was that I am finally building up stamina again, he just got pissy. **sigh** I will celebrate my victories here, and let him acclimate to the fact that I am losing weight again. This up-down-up-down thing has got to drive him a bit crazy as well.

Have a great day, everyone!

Laurie: Yep, that's what you can do, just celebrate with us here. While I know my husband is supportive, I also feel like he probably gets tired of hearing about it all the time. So, I tell him some stuff, but share the rest here.

For me, I was up just a little bit today from last week, but that's ok. After the big hike and then taking a few days off, and with kind of indulging a little bit this weekend, I figured it wouldn't be stellar. I was very tired yesterday and then ate a little off plan. So, not too bad. Just getting back on track today and this week. I'm back to regular workouts and logging food. I would love to get below 220 soon, so I need to focus!!

Hey all!

Hubby is out of town at a conference thing until tomorrow night, so I am the adult supervision in the house until he gets home. With nobody to watch the kiddo while I prepare dinner, I'll probably end up with cereal or something for dinner. I'm so bad at real meals when my husband isn't here to eat. I like to cook for him, I don't like to cook for me... I think he appreciates my efforts more than I do. I do have a pile of chicken boobies in the crock pot though, so I could have chicken and leftover veggies. Depends on my energy level.

In other news. This week is the last week of my StepBet challenge! I paid in $40, and currently, if nobody else drops out this week (and I stay on top of my steps!) I will be getting approx $50. YAY! I'll be waiting to join another until after my oral surgery... which right now is scheduled for "some time in September." And I also start with my planner method of keeping track of things today, so hopefully it works out. This method makes Monday my weigh in days, which will force me not to go crazy on my scheduled "rest" days on Sunday!

And this time next year, I hope to be running around with my kiddo. :)

I leave you with a photo of the field growing wild behind my house (and yard). This is what I see from my kitchen window and back porch. I love this so much more than when I lived in the city.

http://i67.tinypic.com/14njwpe.jpg

Diane - Love to see your ticker stay below that 230 number! Cannot wait to celebrate with you when it gets below 220! It's great that you're back to logging (or maybe you never took a break from it?). I keep trying to talk myself into it, cuz I know I do better when I'm logging, but I don't enjoy it. And, of course, you're a beast in the gym. I imagine that 228 on you looks dang good.

Mandy - Woo hoo on the StepBet challenge! And on kicking off your new cool strategy. I know what you mean about eating alone. I would just as soon crack open a tuna packet and some bagged spinach and call it a meal as to actually prepare something. Your backyard is gorgeous. My family went floating last Sunday, and it was so peaceful just being out in nature. I'm a tiny bit jealous that you live in it.

Tuesday is my weigh-in day, and the scale wasn't as generous as I had hoped. But it was progress, and progress is all I need. If I continue progressing for the rest of my life, I will get to my goal weight and maintain it forever. It's just that I am thisclose to a new decade, and I had really wanted to be under it. Something to shoot for next week!

I did run yesterday. I did Day 3 of C25K. Sometimes, it bothers me that I am not anywhere close to where I was just a few months ago, but I try to hold onto the progress thing there too. I was scheduled to do 60 seconds running, 90 seconds walking for 8 intervals. I generally do 5.1 mph for the running parts through the first four or so, then allow myself to go as low as 4.8 if I feel like I need to for the last interval or two. I went 5.2 for all of the running, and for the first four intervals, I added 10 seconds to the running intervals. Such small progress. But. I am dedicated to celebrating the progress any way I can get it. Diane - thank you for allowing me to talk about this stuff in such excruciating detail. If I am pushing even your patience, please feel free to skim. =)

A new week! So much opportunity ahead.

Mandy: Way to go with your steps! That's cool to make a little bit of money, while getting into shape! I'm also that way when my husband is gone. It is too easy to just grab something easy rather than cooking.

Laurie: You are getting really close to onederland! That's great! And no, I don't mind extra detail on your running. It is good to have someone to discuss it with! You are much faster than I am though. I might have you beat on my total time, but I'm definitely not as fast. Good job!

For me, I didn't have a great night of food choices. I don't know what happened... just out of sorts and didn't think through it well enough. Oh well, there's always today. I did go running and it was ok. I think that I'm still somewhat recovering from the incline hike. That really killed me. It is better now, but not where I was before. I'll get there. I wanted to go hiking tonight, but it might rain, so we'll see how it goes.

Hi all,

I love that every one is having some great experiences this week, either with exercise, the scale or meeting goals! Well Done and keep it going!!

Me - Well, after the scale gave me a big ol' wedgie with my grannie panties it then proceeded to toss spitballs at me the rest of the week. I bounced back up to 223.4 and that is what I weighed in at yesterday. I decided enough was enough and if I couldn't pull those grannie panties out of my butt crack myself, then I needed a little help doing it. So, yesterday I started (for the second time) the Ideal Protein program. Yes, I can do it on my own - but something about paying that much money and having to go get weighed and measured by someone every week makes me sit up and say "oh, cr*p, my brain isn't joking any more... " So we will see what happens with it. Having done it before, I know it isn't great for a long term, large weight loss, but for 40-50 pounds it will do.

It's day 2 - and I am sick of cucumbers and lettuce already. Ha!

Kat - What a great decision you made to do the Ideal Protein program! "Doing it on your own" is not really the ideal, in my opinion. Heck, that's why I'm here. Doing what works for you to accomplish an incredibly daunting task - that's brilliant! And cucumbers and lettuce are so refreshing, crispy, and tasty, especially when you add a bit of pepper. (It's helpful to me when I tell myself how delicious my food is.) Hopefully, those grannie panties come out of that crack without too much pain.

Diane - Yay on the running, even when you didn't quite feel it. Glad you're confronting the reasons why you might have made some decisions you don't want to repeat, and figuring out how to avoid them. Even better, I love that you never seem to think, "I screwed up. Might as well abandon this whole thing." Hope you feel fully recovered from the incline now, and that your work-outs continue on a forward progression.

I did not lift last night. Instead, the husband and I went to a "gala event." The food was okay. I nibbled because there wasn't anything really on my plan, and the level of deliciousness did not tempt me to want to abandon my plan. Yet, when I got home, I ate when I wasn't hungry and ate to an unpleasant level of fullness. Not too bad, considering that I wanted to snack all.day.long and didn't, but I need to focus on new techniques. I usually walk when confronted with the snack monster, but I didn't want to. And that's fine. But I could have done ten minutes of yoga, or sipped tea, or done some meditation, or eaten six sugar-free popsicles, or just decided to "suffer" by not giving in to what I knew was a temporary craving. Yet, I have faith that I will get this figured out. It is happening less, and I don't need it to be never to be successful at losing and maintaining weight.

Going running this afternoon. Going to make sure that I get this work cranked out so I can leave this office for my afternoon "lunch" break without feeling any guilt.

Have a great day, everyone!

Alright! I got all of my "stretch" days (approx 6 miles) done for this challenge! 4 more regular active days (approx 4.5 miles) left to go!

Since this is the last week of this challenge, I've decided to use it to start getting myself back into the habit of drinking a lot of water through the day. Goal: 100oz.

Hydration has been an issue for me... When I was pregnant I stopped drinking as much water because of having to pee every 5 minutes, and I never got back into the habit after the kiddo was born.

Laurie - I live in a country living post card. It's beautiful, and about a million times better than when I lived a stones throw from DC. I spent 30 years in the city, or right outside the city, and now that I've gotten myself out in the sticks, you'd have to drag me kicking and screaming back to the concrete jungle!

Mandy: Good thing to do to get back to drinking lots of water. It is easy to not drink it much when you're pregnant. So tiring having to go to the bathroom all the time!!

Laurie: Sounds like you had a fairly successful day. Rather than giving in to eating lots at an event, you showed restraint. Hope you have a good day of running.

For me, I'm also going running tonight. I think it should be better this time, compared to Monday. I hope! I went hiking last night, but not too far. I was late from work, so didn't have a lot of time. Plugging along.

Good morning!

So, my tabs on my browser tell me why I'm fat...

Facebook, 3FC, Fitbit... And then a recipe for caramel apple cinnamon rolls (from scratch to go with Sunday brunch), and red velvet sandwich cookies (from a boxed cake mix, a little treat for my hubby). Both of which I plan on making in the next few days because we're going to have company that includes my 7 year old nephew.

This is why I'm so glad I'm not stressing food this time around. This time it's all about fitness, and I'll work on the food part later. But I've also found I'm making better choices already, even though I'm not logging and counting every calorie that I swallow.

Anyway, walking and water goals were both met yesterday... and hubby was even inspired to get a workout in! :D

Have a good day, y'all!

Mandy: Those recipes sound great!! Glad you are feeling good with your fitness and water goals!

For me, I didn't go running last night. I was feeling some pain and weakness in my hip, so I figured it was a good idea to just rest it. Feels better today, so either I'll go on a hike, or if it rains, I'll go running at the gym.

Need to really focus on the food plan issue! I've had a few slip ups, so I need to rededicate now, before it becomes a bigger issue.

Diane - Oof. Those health things make me crazy every time! Glad the hip feels better. Hope that you're able to run or hike tonight without issue. And you're right on the food thing. Hope you get a handle on it quickly and without much stress.

Mandy - Jealous of your culinary skills. Like Diane said, those treats sound fantastic. Happy you're finding your way with the fitness and the water, and that you're just naturally making some good food choices. Hopefully, you'll make some pretty painless progress with the food.

I went running last night. Day 2, Week 1. There were six intervals, with each running interval being 90 seconds. I was going to try to maintain a 5.2 mph pace for all of it. Instead, I walked for about 15 seconds of the fifth interval, and dropped to 4.8 mph on the final interval. But I'll do better next time. It's hard, and I'm building up stamina.

Tonight is lifting. Woot! And I had a really good food day yesterday. Haven't snuck out for a single walk yet, though, and I am resisting getting so caught up in work that I skip doing one 15-minute walk in the morning and one in the afternoon. I just need to pick up my working pace a bit, and hopefully, I'll be able to get everything done and hit my two walks.

Have a great day, everyone!

Here I thought I was doing good walking an extra 100 steps a day! Ladies... I read all your fitness activities and I feel a tad shamed. But not enough to change my ways LOL

So far so good on the Ideal Protein. Thankfully I don't mind redundancy. I've had plain tuna with lemon juice and cucumbers every day this week along with my 2 shakes and 1 bar from IP. I struggle as well with getting in my water. In fact today has been so bad I haven't even had 20 ounces yet. I've to got work on that.

Other than that, had a bout of insomnia last night. I finally fell back to sleep on the sofa about 4 am today and then got up at 5:20am. Maybe that is why I am struggling a bit more with the food today.