Bleh indeed.
I've been away for a while. I've spent the past year or so struggling and slowly regaining. I'm about to run off to change my ticker; I'm up to 246 now. I've still lost over 100 pounds, but I'd made it down to 203-ish last summer and I want to get there again.
I've had to focus on my mental health, dealing with treatments for my depression, OCD, and GAD after being diagnosed with postpartum early last year. And I think it's the GAD that's been triggering my mindless binge episodes, something I thought I'd gotten over years ago. I do feel like I'm back on track now, but dealing with the regain has been depressing. I've also struggled with exercise since the beginning of this year because my asthma came back with a vengeance.
My previous psychiatrist seemed unconcerned with me gaining nearly 50 pounds; whenever I tried to speak with him about it, he'd dismiss me with saying "we all struggle with sweets." My response to that is "we all haven't struggled with weighing 360 pounds, have we?" Anyway, my new doctor understands why I feel it's an issue and will be monitoring my weight. I'm not sure what the next steps with him will be if I don't start losing soon, but I'm relieved I'm at least being listened to.
I am thankful I haven't gained any more than I have; I've actually stayed about the same since January an still weigh less than I did in high school. My little guy is 20 months old now, running around like crazy. Thankfully I keep up with him well, and I remind myself that I need to be healthy and happy for both my family and myself.
I recall that I was doing better when I was checking in here every day, so I'm committing myself to that, and committing myself to tracking again. Iwas running 5k's last spring and would like to return to that this fall (the weather here is really too hot for that right now). I try to get a walk in every night and weigh-in weekly.
I know how to do it. I know I can get there. It's just a matter of taking all the steps.
