05 Regainers regaining control, and relosing
 

New thread, y'all! We hit 500. Again. Yay for Carter for starting the thread initially, and yay for the rest of us for making it as vibrant and wonderful as it is!

Just checking in after my afternoon run. I decided to start on Week 1, Day 3, Toasted. For my running intervals, I ranged from 6.2 mph to 6.6 mph. For walking, I was at 3.7. Then I added some intervals at the end until I hit 3.25 miles. Then meandered over to the step machine for another 5 minutes. Still planning on doing my 4.25 miles this afternoon. Not happy about my current work making me stay another 2.5 weeks, so I'm going to focus on doing the bare minimum and taking full advantage of the added time to rock out my Beast Mode phase! Gonna need to start adding in some lower-impact stuff like the elliptical stuff, cuz I'm starting to feel a little roughed up.

Good morning folks. :coffee:

Thank you for doing the needful, LaurieDawn. :) I've read through everyone's comments on the end of the previous thread and it's good to see so many are present and fired up.

I could use some of LaurieDawn's beast mode myself. I've tried three times to write something about where I am with eating and exercise and all that came out was a long string of fretfulness. I'm tired.

TooWicky I hope your recovery continues to go well. I'm sorry you are feeling down. Try to go easy on yourself. You are not a slob; you have had a serious medical intervention and it's going to take some time to recover from that. Think about what was actually done to your body - maybe that will make it easier for you to give yourself a break. :dizzy:

garnetstring The dress looks superfun - you must be beside yourself. :)

Diane Glad your son's surgery went smoothly. I can't imagine how harrowing that must be, as a parent. :hug:

To all else: Good luck and good strength, and please send me some of your strength too.

Hey everyone! Okay so I got home late and fell on my dinner like I hadn't seen food in YEARS!!! I ended up being over for a fast day at 680 calories rather than 500 calories but I still consider that a fast as it is SIGNIFICANTLY different from what I'd normally eat. I DID end up working out as well for 45 minutes at like 11.30pm. I was exhausted by that point and was going to do a 15-minute easy breezy workout only but when I finished that I was like I'm already dressed and ready, might as well push it some more, so then I did an intense tabata-style workout which was great for fitness but was terrible for digestion- note to self: you don't need to be jumping around all over the place less than 90 minutes after eating. I had to sleep sitting up. Not fun.

Diane: I was really ill in 2012 and had a couple of major surgeries and my mom had NO patience with anyone. I was pretty chill (maybe the medications, maybe I'm just a chill sort of person in general, idk) but she was like fighting for my health rights or something and got into arguments with my surgeon, nurses, basically everyone got on her nerves. I think it was the worry and empathy and probably also the slightly jaded, robotic attitude of the medical people that made her so... antsy and irritable. I think it's normal and I totally appreciated it especially since I can admit my nerves were being got on too and I didn't feel able to speak up about it. And I agree, exercise is a huge mood boost. I also find working out easier in the afternoon especially if I've eaten at some point in the day before the workout. Working out in the morning requires a little extra pushing mentally and physically, but it does at least ensure said workout gets done!

TooWicky: I used to be a late night eater too because I'm kind of a night owl. In fact, pre-2009 when I started, 90% of my bingey behavior happened in the witching hours, so when I got started the first thing I did was cut off eating past midnight. Even on my worst, most binge-monster out-of-control days, the one rule I never break is that one. Re: fasting, I actually just got started with the 5:2 intermittent fasting way of eating in the last few months and now it's become kind of solid with me. 2 days a week I eat 500-600 calories (Mondays and Thursdays) and the rest of the week, I'm supposed to be able to eat 2000 calories although I try to be more around 1300-1500 calories on those non-fast days. It's not as hard as I thought it would be actually and it's been working okay for me as I've been really grinding out the last few months. It's been tough. Re: feeling bad about surgery recovery, the surgeries I had in 2012 are similar to yours in that adhesions caused bowel obstructions and there was infection and then failed ressections, anyway, to cut a long story short all heck exploded and all this happened just as I was getting to goal and was at my fittest and fastest with running and all of a sudden, boom! I remember crying at my first doctor's appointment after going home, saying I didn't feel like I was getting better fast enough because I was constantly out of breath (did the physios give you that breathing practice thing you're supposed to blow into, use it. It really helps), couldn't stand or sit up straight, walked bent over like a very old crone and basically could barely eat or drink anything, and then he, with that wonderful bedside manner my mother loved, proceeded to tell me about some of his other patients who'd done the same surgery and all their complications, then he told me how much worse I could be and that I was wayyy ahead of the curve getting around by myself, eating anything at all. So all this long story is basically to say give yourself time, you've just had major surgery (someone touched your bowels girl! they don't like being touched), you WILL feel better, you WILL get stronger. FWIW it took me a month to feel like myself again with breathing and getting around easily and maybe a couple of more months after that to feel like I was myself again with running. What you need now is patience and time. I think it's awesome and heroic that you're getting what exercise you can despite the challenges.

Jessica: The outfit is sooooo cool!!!! Love the corset and skirt. What sort of shirt and boots are you going to wear with? Do you own this already? Very very cool! We'll need pictures of the final look of course when the time comes, eh? ;) ;)

Laurie: Yay new Thread! I'm inspired by your beast mode and getting beastly myself by challenging myself to do more of a workout than I have on my plan when i start.

carter: :hug: Sending you strength and energy and positive vibes. I think everyone has plan fatigue from time to time. It's especially hard when everyone around seems to find the energy and verve that one can't find in themselves. This journey is a hard slog and I guess the hard times teach us compassion and perseverance and all those other annoyingly necessary virtues that help us be better people. So there are two bright sides: 1.) you'll get your fire back, just keep pushing through and trying to at least maintain for a bit if nothing else; and 2.) your current struggle to get back in form is for the greater good of mankind, you'll come out stronger and better for the experience than if everything was storybook easy-breezy. Or something. Anyway #takeoneformankind ;) :hug:


Okay so just to check in with C25K, first of all please please join me and Laurie in doing C25K even if you're just thinking about it- you never know if you'll finish if you don't start. Today was my first time ever doing it outside so i don't know exactly how fast I was going, I just know it's probably faster than I go on the treadmill because I had to keep telling myself to slow down and pace myself. I started from W2D1 in the end since I completed a second cycle of week 1 about a week ago. Running outside was interesting... good and trippy (meaning lots of potential to trip and fall splat, not that there was any high other than a runner's high going on) but interesting. I got home from that and got a head start on my evening work out (copying Laurie's 2-a-day schedule) with some intense tabata training and yoga. I have an upper body strength training workout this evening which shouldn't be too bad for the digestion- not so much bouncing around y'kno.

I wish everyone a wonderful on-plan day.

so how do you guys actually stop yourself from bingeing at night? i understand you make a rule for yourself, but thats not working for me. please help.

Hey Lyn, I'm terrible at moving and change and packing etc and for me it's stressful and then I eat and that's no good AND that's without having limitations to what I can do exercise-wise to release some stress. Give yourself a break, the weight will come off. Plus as you say, it might just be water weight! #crossedfingersandtoes I think it's awesome that you're planning on beasting it right into your move. I'm in awe!

allisonm: Bingeing is kind of a hard thing to overcome because it's not usually only about the food, but also the underlying things that cause the compulsive behaviour. I used to binge really late at night so I made a hard and fast rule never to eat past midnight which has helped with late night eating but now means I get my bingeing done at a normal hour- ha, which is really no better. I know I can't say x or y or z is the magic thing that will eliminate all your bingey behaviour forever because behaviour change is messy and is not caused by one sole thing so there's no one specific thing that will fix it. I definitely still struggle and in the past month, have eaten myself sick on several occasions even knowing and hearing my internal voice tell me to stop AND I'm the kind of binger that actually tracks my binges- like I'll actually log the 4 granola bars followed by the half loaf of bread I ate, and even that doesn't stop me. I think most of us on here and I mean 3FC not this thread alone, even the most successful, still struggle with it. That said, if you're caught in a bingey cycle right now and need to cut it out at least immediately, maybe you can identify the foods you binge on late at night and throw them out/give them out right now. I try to avoid cooking and leaving accessible leftovers because that's just begging me to eat them that same day so I can "start afresh" tomorrow. Snacks are also binge-y for me, things that are easily accessible so like protein bars, granola bars, cookies, crackers, nuts, chips, cake, candy, bread etc because it's so convenient to get to- no cooking required. I've thrown trigger food out and squeezed detergent many a time just to snap myself out of binge mode. Getting out and exercising also helps, not allowing myself to be alone with food when I'm in binge mode also helps, doing things like painting my nails or brushing my teeth and swishing mouthwash are also emergency measures when I'm in a cycle of bingeing. But really, none of these things are obviously long-term solutions to the behaviour in the first place. I'm sorry you're struggling right now. :hug:

Guys, I actually came back to check in because I found something awesome and inspiring and amazing on Facebook which is funny coming from me because I'm hardly ever on Facebook since I usually find it the opposite (of an inspiring place and besides I'm also ironically given my love of a long post, #team140charactersorless). Anyway, I don't know if you guys have heard of the #thisgirlcan (This Girl Can) campaign? It's I believe an English campaign to encourage women and girls who feel intimidated or put off about getting into exercising and sport or think they need to already be athletic or fit or slim or whatever to participate? Anyway the video I saw on Facebook (where I was actually doing work but that stopped me from doing said work and has had me watching their videos all afternoon) was this one. Anyway they have a really cool online presence so if you DO check the video out (with headphones if you're out in public or at work), you can also find them on Facebook, YouTube and they have a website too. This was kind of my afternoon obsession, rather than actual work... :/

What are you bingeing on at night? Is it something that you can remove from your environment? How does the binge begin? Can you change your behavior to avoid that first step?

If you are more specific about what actually happens when you have an evening binge, we can be more helpful about how to avert them.

I agree, rules are not enough. I also have to engineer my environment and my behavior to make following those rules a little less difficult than the sheer application of will.

I have found that it is much, much more difficult to stop a binge than it is not to start one. I know that if I eat even one bite in the evening it is likely to escalate and become very, very difficult to stop.

So I try not to take that first bite. If I don't go in the kitchen in the evening, I can't take the first bite. So I'll make myself do my kitchen chores right after dinner instead of delaying them to later in the evening when my appetite is firing and my discipline is weaker.

And I try not to keep in the house the sort of foods I am most likely to binge on. Even when I do binge at home, the worst I can do is overeat cheese sticks and nuts. Lots of calories, for sure, but at least plenty of nutrients and protein to go with them. Better than eating an entire loaf of buttered bread or a pint of ice cream or a box of cereal with milk or (whatever else). If those things are not present, I can't binge on them no matter how strong the urge is.

Does that help at all?

Laurie, I want to run... :( Maybe I should convince my father to let me have the treadmill that he only uses as a coat rack.

Carter, I am a little bit.

Toasted, a basic top probably in an off-white shade. The skirt is on layaway at a local shop and I placed the order for the corset and bolero via Etsy the other day. Boots are going to depend on what I can find that suits the colors of the whole outfit and the length of the skirt.


Did strength training. I love planks. I've noticed that I'm having to rediscover how to hold myself in a plank though. By which I mean planking is a vastly different experience when you're 40 inches smaller and nearly 75 lbs lighter. Your body weight sits differently. I've been going back and forth this morning about whether or not I'm going to take Luna for a walk before work. I both do and do not want to. Last night was so long. Tonight's probably going to be busy, too. My thighs have a light ache - the good kind - from the last two mornings of strength. But I don't want to overdo it. I think the bottom line, though, is that I need to get off my butt and just do it. If I don't do it today when I have time, it's just one more step toward not doing it at all again. And I know that once we've taken our walk, I'm gonna be in a wonderful and energized mood for the rest of the day - I have all those days and months of proof from this summer and early last fall. :)

This. So much this.

Also, what Toasted said about the millions of different strategies.

I really have only one thing to add. I fight binges. I finally am seeking some help in therapy to help with the food addiction that I was just diagnosed with (two weeks ago, in fact). But I am still 80 or so pounds down from my highest weight. I say this not to minimize the binge problem. And both Carter and Toasted, who have successfully maintained large losses for a significant periods of time (despite some regain in both of their cases) have said they have binge issues as well. I have a huge problem with binges, and it makes me physically ill sometimes, in addition to the weight issues it exacerbates. But you don't have to solve the problem in order to make progress. You just have to figure out ways to control it most of the time. Knowing this gives me hope.

Toasted - I LOVED that video you posted. I glanced at the comments, and it emphasized the need for the video.

I wanted to take more time for personals, and I might come back, but I still have some prep to do for an afternoon hearing. Just quickly, I want to report that I am on Day 4 of BEAST MODE, baby. And beast mode makes me very, very sore. And it doesn't mean that I can bench 85 pounds more than once, as I discovered today, so back to 80 pounds I meekly went. I had a court appearance this morning, and just stopped at the gym on the way back to my office, and rocked some heavy lifting. Not as much as I would like, but it was satisfactory. Looking forward to some afternoon cardio. Work = slacking. (What are they gonna do? Fire me? Please fire me!) Food & exercise = beast mode! I also resisted pizza and ice cream last night. Instead, I had some steak and shiritaki noodles for dinner while the fam ate pizza, and sipped herbal tea while the fam indulged in ice cream. Cuz beast mode, y'all.

The walk... IT IS DONE! RAWR!! Just under a mile because I had to come home and change and leave for work. I'd forgotten how easy it is for me to just keep walking when I don't have somewhere I have to be. Stupid work... if it wasn't for you, I'd still be walking now.

Also, a free consultation appointment has been made with a bankruptcy lawyer. I need to know exactly what my options are and what my best option is. And, in case, I forgot to mention it, transcript evaluation started Friday afternoon. Then they were closed for three days because of the weekend and the holiday yesterday. So I wait. Rather anxiously.

Hi all. Thanks to everyone for the well wishes for my son. I appreciate it!

I started C25K last night after work. It is somewhat light right when I get home, and it gets a little too dark by the time I get home, but I really prefer walking/running outside as to walking/running on the treadmill. What a cool program! I did W1D1, so just starting out. It was definitely doable. We'll see how I can keep up as it gets more challenging. I didn't want to drop any of my other workouts, so I'm just adding C25K 3 days a week, after work. If the weather is bad, then I'll go to the gym and use the treadmill. The road in front of my house is a little busy, but just up the road, I can turn onto another country road that is less busy. It felt great to be out there!!! I'm excited about it.

I went to Body Pump this morning. I felt a little soreness in my legs, but it was still ok. Good workout. I'll skip C25K tonight, and go to spin tomorrow morning. Loving the feeling of being stronger/more fit. I just hope the scale starts understanding that my efforts need to be rewarded! Just need to keep focusing on staying on plan with food. I keep thinking about warmer weather coming up and I am so looking forward to it and I want to be a little smaller!!!

No personals today. Gotta run. Just have to say that I like all the helpful comments from everyone. I don't have anything to add on binging at night, but what great advice from everyone else!!

I'm baack! 2-minute hearing for the win, baby!

Jessica - I am totally loving the dress you're rocking for the con. I've also always been envious of your planks. My goal is to start doing planks and push-ups at work on 2-minute breaks. I can do a 60-second plank, but it ain't pretty. And yes - responsibilities too often get in the way of really good walks. Yuck.

TooWicky - Don't be embarrassed. Own that feeling! Recovery from surgery sucks, especially because it interferes with your fitness goals. However, as "they" always say, weight loss begins (and mostly ends) in the kitchen. Your focus of just eating reasonably healthy food in reasonable amounts seems to be working for you. Yay, good scale results!

Diane - I plan on doing a 5K in April too! And I do like having the app on my phone tell me when it's okay to start walking, and when I need to push the speed. Still deciding exactly how I'm going to use the program to fit my current needs, but love that you, Toasted, and me are in this together! Also, it looks like all three of us are incorporating some 2-a-days in this. You two make my beast mode look weak. I'm only doing mine because I am neglecting my actual job, but you guys are making all of it work together. Yay, inspiration!

Allisonm - I already addressed your very astute question, but wanted to add that we're thrilled you popped in, whether you're just dipping your toe in for that single question or whether you intend to become a regular part of our group.

Lyn - Restrictions on exercise have to be the worst. So sorry you have them. But it sounds like you're developing a plan to work with them. And the starts/stops - I'm all about those. Some people start and never seem to slip. Hooray for them. But I have yet to be able to do it, which is why I involve myself in these little challenges. I know that I have to pay attention to my weight for the rest of my life, but it works better for me when I break it down into smaller chunks.

Carter - The slog is the worst. Surviving the downs can be so incredibly draining. I have lots of strategies to break out of them, as I know you do, but they don't always work all of the time. I am very hopeful you find the magic again, and find it soon. White-knuckling is totally doable. But it's not nearly as fun as soaring through the weight loss.

Personals done! Woo hoo! Have I mentioned how much I LOVE this group? K. I have one small work project to complete before I head back to the gym for some cardio. (Frankly, the multiple work-outs a day are great, but I hate my current 3-shower-a-day habit.)

Have a terribly terrific day, everyone!

thanks so much guys. i lost 110 lbs about seven years ago. i was active on this board as "watchhershrink". i've gained most of it back after two spine surgeries, a baby, getting married, and a million other things.

everything seems so much harder now. especially the bingeing at night. but those are good tips, i know i need to keep certain foods out of the house. i guess i need to put my foot down to my husband and keep the sweet carbs out of the kitchen. also i need to go to bed at a more decent hour so i'm not over tired and making food decisions.

New thread and look at us go!!

Just a flying visit!! Day three and I really had to white knuckle it through went for 2 walks and a bit of a boogie to a workout in youtube, I'm so unco! Was fun though :) I better see some scale action soon or they are going out the window at the moment they only want to go up not down at the moment.

Right got to go - keep strong sisters :)

The computer ate my post! So I will summarize. Still in Beast Mode, but yesterday was skimming the bottom of it. Went to the gym twice, once for strength training, once for running. Neither was great. But neither was super lame. Ate fairly well, but strayed a bit too far from plan to be official Beast Mode-worthy.

Lyn - Convenience foods are my specialty! Let me know if you want suggestions as to tasty, easy, nutrition-dense foods for when you have no kitchen. Blah on extended PMS. I am also a tea drinker, but I drink exclusively herbal tea (okay, occasionally decaf green tea), and I love it. Stevia's tasty as well, though I only ever include it on rare occasions.

Kelly - Thanks for popping in with your upbeat enthusiasm! I want to incorporate more exclusively fun exercise.

Allisonm - I also had really good success in 2007/08, though I stopped just short of losing a full 100 pounds. I think rediscovering the magic is easier than the initial discovery, but it's never easy. And not gonna lie -- I feel like I have mini-journeys almost every couple of weeks, where I am looking to restart or recommit.

'T'will be a good day today. Double cardio sessions. Might even try to slip in a third. Commitment to breaking three times today at work, each time for 1 set of 12 chair dips, 1 set of push-ups (as many from the toes as I can, followed by 10 from the knees), and a brisk walk down three flights of stairs, through the basement, and back up the second set of stairs. And restocked my food at work.

Beast Mode, Day 5 in progress!

Hey everyone. How's your Wednesday going? I'm doing alright. Super tired from all the waking up early and sleeping late to work out but I am getting up without hitting snooze (who KNEW that was possible? My mind is blown!) and working out so there is that.

Jessica: Yay walk!!!! And cheers to all the steps you're taking to rock out 2015!!! Fingers crossed the transcripts work out as you'd like!

Diane: I'm so excited you're doing C25K with us. I'm the opposite, I rarely to never run outside but it is nice to be out there getting it done. And there's something to be said for having a schedule to keep you on track.

Laurie: I'm glad you liked the video. I identify with it so much because when I first got started in 2009, I'm THE LAST person that would ever have thought they'd be trying to get into beast mode. I hated the outdoors, I hated sweating, I hated panting, I was a bit of a germophobe about gyms etc AND I didn't want to be "the fat girl trying to work out," (#reversesnobberymuch, #lackinginselfironymuch) and yet here I am, trying to be a runner again, loving getting fit etc. WHO KNEW?! 3 showers a day IS a lot. At least you're super clean as well as fit. My exercise motto is that half-arsed is better than none. Even not killing it at the gym is better than not going at all AND you went. TWICE! If that's not beasting it, then nothing is! I'm super inspired by your Beast Mode and you're pushing me to do more and be better and challenge myself as well.

allisonm: It IS a lot harder the second time around somehow. I don't know why that is. I don't remember struggling this much my first go around. Maybe it's because we now have a more realistic view of how hard this journey is to go through and maintain afterwards so it's a little harder to give up bad habits this time around. I dunno. But you're not alone AND you can do this. That's probably the only plus of being a regainer, knowing from experience that if we dig in, we CAN succeed and lose the weight. Going to bed early(er) for the win!

Kelly: Here's to the exercises that are white-knuckled. They're almost more meaningful than the ones we breeze to because we were just THAT close to sitting down and saying screw it! I'm a terrible dancer stuck in a land of people with rhythm who can make the stupidest looking dance moves look cool... I save my dancing for when NO ONE is actually watching. As an aside, when I lived in America, the gym in my apartment building was in the windowless basement and I suppose in some misguided attempt to bring light to the space, they had mirror walls but the machines faced the mirrors. Imagine watching yourself huffing and puffing on the treadmill, dripping with sweat, mug all squinty with hard exercise-face??? The height of uncool! My theory the more uncool you look, the better you're doing it. Look at record-breaking olympic weightlifters when they lift... I mean... #justsaying #takingaharddumpface

Lyn: Yay 2 days on plan!! And 2 lbs down of water weight!!! :carrot: :broc: :carrot: Onwards and upwards!


This morning I got up and did W2D2 of C25K. I think I'll be doing it 4-5 days a week (at least for the duration of my Diet Bet) rather than the 3 days a week of schedule. When I got home from that, I did 2 circuits of intense cardio dvd and then I did a little yoga. I'll do something strength-y later this evening. My plan to do a second workout in the evening after I get home have been a bust recently as I'm exhausted by the time I get home. Like I eat and then I sleep in a chair till I wake up enough to actually get up and go lie in bed. I'm hoping I'll get used to it soon. I might need to start getting up earlier and maybe doing both workouts in the morning before work. #tears Anyway, today at least I WILL get my evening workout done. I'm committing to that. Tomorrow, I might look into exercising for longer in the morning and doing all my extra workouts at the same time.

I hope you all are having a wonderful day. Thanks for being so universally awesome!

Hi all. Went to spin this morning. Gotta love it, the instructor came in just a tiny bit late and she was talking about how tired she was, yawning, etc. Then, she got on the bike and gave us a killer workout. I was afraid I wouldn't finish, that's how hard it was. But, made it. Like someone else said, "She never fails to deliver." Tonight after work is W1D2 of C25K. I'm looking forward to it. I have noticed being much more stiff this week and I think it is from adding the extra workout. But, gotta bust through it. April will be here before you know it. I just have to watch how much I eat after. Yes, you burn calories on C25K, but I can't go all out and give in to way more food than necessary. It did stimulate my appetite last time.

Toasted: Aw! Disappointing when you have to give up more sleep to work out. That's tough!

Laurie: Way to go, keeping beast mode going. Good for you on doing dips, too. I hate them! I finally got to where I could at least do them, but it doesn't make them fun. Oh, and I wasn't sure about doing 2-a-days, but it seems to be working out ok. I just couldn't see where I could fit in the C25K without giving up the other workouts that I really like. I will probably keep it at 3 times a week, though.

Lyn77: Tea is a good substitute for you. I am not a fan of sweetened tea, but for you, stevia is a good choice.

MissLoud: Good job with the boogie workout!!

allisonm: I remember you as watchhershrink. So glad you're here. It is hard, but I know you can do it! Just try to be patient and take it one day at a time.

#takingaharddumpface

Oh, Toasted, this has to be my FAVORITE hashtag of all time.

So, question for you runners.

I decided I would try to see what I can do at steady state cardio today, even though I want to keep my emphasis on intervals because my primary goal is calorie burn. I decided to run for 2 miles at 5.0 mph. It felt like a nice easy pace (Can you believe that? I used to struggle to get to 4.2 for 30 seconds!), but I stopped just short of the first mile. I decided that I was probably just tired from my 2-a-days, and decided to allow myself to just walk out the rest of the 3 miles I had planned. But I soon got impatient with that, and did intervals for the rest of the way, including one Beast Mode-worthy 7.1 mph interval for 30 seconds. I finished at 3.25 miles, and while my body felt tired, as in physically heavy when I tried to move it, I honestly felt like I could go forever, and did a bonus quarter mile at 5.4 mph just cuz. (My second cardio session of the day is going to be low-impact, though, cuz my right knee is complaining just a tiny bit post-work-out.)

I feel like this is totally mental. I feel like my cardiovascular health is strong enough to do at least 2 miles at the 5.0 mph pace. Gains in steady-state running are not my priority. Burning calories is. So, I want to keep the interval training, but I would also like to run my 5K in April at a decent pace without stopping.

So, the question - Is this totally mental? If so, what are the mental tools I need to succeed? I only plan on trying to do steady state maybe once a week, if that, but I really want to able to run a single 10-minute mile at some point. If it's just that I need to train differently to be able to achieve real gains in steady-state running, then that goal will be put on hold until I am closer to goal weight.

Good morning, all!

Toasted - My Beast Mode pales in comparison to yours, particularly given your insane work schedule. And I'm amazed that you're waking up early to exercise, given that your snooze-button tendency seems comparable to mine. I'm still trying to decide if I want to commit to morning work-outs.

Diane - Queen of the morning work-outs! Can I tell you how much I love the fact that you're doing two-a-days not primarily to burn extra calories, but because you love the exercise you're doing and you also want to do the C25K? I have moments in time where exercise just seems annoying, but I love when I realize that I would probably do the exercise for the sake of doing it, even if calories weren't an issue. It's easier to prioritize when I also need the calorie-burn, but I genuinely enjoy both the benefits of, and often the process of, exercise.

5 days of Beast Mode completed! I feel like I could tighten up on a few eating choices. I ate a handful of Flamin' Hot Limon Cheetos last night and a small piece of bread. But my food slip-ups were minor, and within calories. I also had an abbreviated second work-out, as I allowed my daughter to borrow my car, and she was late picking me up. Nevertheless, I am counting it in the "Beast Mode" column and resolving to get a little tighter today.

So, for today, I am going to do 1 session of heavy lifting and 1 of running. I commit to 4.25 miles of intervals. I did my chair dips yesterday, but not my push-ups or office mini-walks. (And, yes, Diane, I agree - they're not fun. I have a lot of excess skin on my arms, though, and am hoping that strengthening the triceps will marginally improve the look of it. I am also aware that my strategy may not be a great one, as I have fairly well developed biceps and these things have led to tops being either loose everywhere but the arms, or well-fitting everywhere but the arms, and uncomfortably tight on the arms. <sigh>) That will be rectified today.

I am also continuing my scale moratorium, and just like when I weigh, I am so glad I'm doing it sometimes and so frustrated I'm doing it other times. Maintaining "Beast Mode" is really requiring a lot of mental energy, and if I'm not losing as fast as I would like (or, horror, not losing at all - always a possibility), it messes with my mind. Even though I know the scale is not an accurate reflection of fat loss. Even though I have tracked patterns and recognize them. If I lose quickly, it feels like I can let up some. If I'm not losing, I can either get very discouraged and want to double-down efforts (often to a dangerous level) or I have to fight the urge to get up. Going without the scale right now is the right thing for me. But I kind of hate it.

Have a great day, everyone!

I'm so impressed with everybody's workout schedule. I know I have to take it slow because of how big I am now. But wow. You guys are awesome.

LaurieDawn: How long has it taken you to work up to that running? I want to be a runner so much. I'm majorly impressed.

Slashnl: I remember you and a few other "faces" from the last time. I'm amazed at this forum for lasting and remaining active for so long. I'm glad that it has!

Toasted: Tell us your secret. How do you NOT hit the snooze button?! haha


Today I'm trying something new. Instead of eating the bulk of my calories during the day, I'm going to try to eat mostly fruit and veg and drink a shake during the day so that I have plenty of calories for dinner since regardless of a full on binge or not, I eat way past what I have left for calories at dinner. I seem to remember doing this back in the day. So I'm trying it to see how it goes. Day eating is mostly a habit for me anyway, the only time I get really genuinely hungry is in the evening. We'll see!

Hey everyone, W2D3 of C25k done but bearing in mind, I'm doing each week more than 3 days. I also got in a secondary workout right after my run so score, I can go to bed early today. It's a fast day and so far I'm doing alright- a coke zero and several cups of milky green tea with mint so about 90 calories all in for the day so far. I've kind of been a little munchy since I started c25k again which has coincided with TOM so I'm not actually sure which of the two is causing the surge in munchiness. No point going over where I want to be even if by only 100-200cals.

Laurie: As a lapsed/somewhat out of form runner, what you're experiencing is completely normal and the main reason I never tried to parlay my comfort with running 5km into doing 10ks. I too have experienced the "I feel bodily heavy and bored and physically done with the running activity but my lungs could go longer" feeling. Part of becoming a distance runner is building endurance in the legs and body to run a distance race not just the lungs. I think just like your cardiovascular fitness is improving dramatically as you continue to run intervals, your physical endurance (with your legs and such) will continue to improve as you run for longer more often. At least that's how it worked for me. I didn't finish C25k running actual 5k, but I could definitely run for 30 minutes and then once I could do that, I slowed down a little so I could complete an actual 5k (which took me 42mimutes that first time) and then realized I got bored running steady state longer than half an hour and when I got bored, I would realize how "over it" I felt and would want to quit, so I did another cycle of C25k at a greater speed and discovered that like you, I like running at intervals, but once or twice a week I'd do a steady state half-hour run and eventually I was doing more than 5k on my "long" (30 minutes) run days. Anyway suffice to say, I think what you're experiencing is normal and you're on the right track for your 5k and I don't at all think you have to give up interval running or that you're spoiling your progress with your approach. You're on the right track.

allisonm: Laurie knows my love of the snooze button is legendary. So much so that I have 3 separate alarms set staggered and I used to play snooze hockey with them all until I basically annoyed and frustrated myself out of bed with the racket. Believe me, I'm as shocked as any of you that I'm getting up at my first alarm. Maybe it's the fact that my $35 is at stake and Im telling myself it's only for a month... I'm hoping that I can stick to it though and that 17-day rule thing is real and by day 18, I'll be a real early bird... One of those worthy people that beat the sun (and I don't mean with a stick) and catch the worms (the proverbial kind). I hope the day eating strategy works for you like it did before. Let us know how it goes!

Lyn77: waking up at 5am????? The horror!!!! :o :o Ha at peeing like a dude! Is it bad that all I'm thinking is that would have been a perfect weigh in time??? Watchutalkinaboutwillis, 3 miles will never be measely!!! 1 mile is amazing, 2 more so. But rockstar is getting up and getting it done even when you don't feel like it!!! So please own your rock goddess status. Own it hard because it certainly didn't come easy. I'm stiff as can be too and it irks me also that it's doing things that I could do without a thought just a few months ago but oh well, at least I know I'm working the muscles. Yay 6 lbs of water weight down!!!!

Diane: yay making it through a hard workout! I'm also struggling with workout munchiness but we persevere!

Alright everyone, I wish you guys a blessed, on plan rest of the day!

Hi all! Went to body pump today. It seemed kind of difficult today, but didn't give in! I do like that class. I did W1D2 of C25K last night. It was better this time, except that they didn't announce when I had reached halfway, so I kind of screwed up my distance. It's ok, just had a little extra walking. It was colder last night, so not great that way. Then, as I was walking by an uncut, dry cornfield, the breeze was blowing the corn. It was such an eerie sound. Freaked me out just a bit, but I did go faster going by there! I feel really good about the workouts, although I am having a little more trouble in the mornings getting up! Tomorrow is spin, and then I'll either do the last day for week 1 of C25K tomorrow or leave it until Saturday.

I did better last night with food. I have been pushing the calorie goal a little. I was by myself, and was tempted by some of the bad stuff I have in the house, but I left it alone. Little victories.

Toasted: Thanks for your continued thoughts about running. I am so much a beginner, it is good to hear from you!!

Lyn77: Keep talking about your workouts! I love to hear about them. Oh, and just wanted to mention that I also have noticed more soreness from the running/walking outside. I think with running/walking, you do have more impact and it does make you sore until you are really used to it.

Allisonm: Good idea on changing things up with when you eat. It might really help you. I'm the same way, in that I save most calories for dinner. It just works better that way for me.

Laurie: So happy for you with your beast mode! You are killing it! I know that right now, I am so excited about workouts and I am actually enjoying them as I am working out, rather than just when they are over. I think that getting stronger and having the ability to push for more is such a great feeling. I am still weighing weekly, but I also know that with increased workouts, sometimes, the weight doesn't come off as well.

Hi ladies :wave: well its Friday for me a I'm struggling through another fast day. So tired! My husband had me up too late last night ;) and its so hot today the kids are scratchy - I'm being a slack mum and have sat them down with an iceblock and a dvd. Not sure how the scales are doing but I've been getting alot of complements lately - feels weird when ive put on 5 pounds from my low to get complements I so don't deserve them, might be the tan.

Feeling a little down, as ive lost weight I've developed saggy skin beside my knees - it looks super weird almost like im melting! I guess when ive lost the weight I can get that fixed surgically, will have to talk to my doctor about waiting lists for that as they do some govt funded ones. Has anyone else considered surgery for loose skin ? I know I'm getting ahead of myself :dizzy: anyway you all have me inspired exercise wise, I took the dog for an hours walk before picking Tate up from Kindy and will get out on the rower tonight.

Laurie ~ Go Beastmode lol:jig: and good on you for powering through it. I know how you feel about the scales, sometimes you're damned if you do damned if you don't. Those little numbers can be so motivating an unmotivating at the same time, I'm trying to restrict myself to 1 - 2 times a week.

Toasted ~ man you have crazy work hours, and as for an hours commute that would kill me! Everything in our city is 15mins away lol good on you for squeezing in excercise into a crazy schedule. C25K hmmm think I might be the only one on this thread who has no intentions of running unless something is chasing me - power to yahs!

Diane ~ like everyone else said you are a workout inspiration! If I had half of your motivation to workout I would be a happy gal! Keep it up

Allisonm ~ Hi! Nice to have you here. Hmmm I'm not a huge binger, my problem is/was portion control. But I do have times when I go off the rails with certain foods, I found identifing the types of food that set me off (for me crackers, chips) and completely getting rid of them from my diet, I just can't be trusted with them because after I eat to much of them it becomes a case of why bother ive already ruined my diet. So good on you for identifying that you binge at night, when I want to eat at night I try to drink herbal tea and do my nails so I can't eat lol

Lyn77 ~ lol peeing like a dude! Erg early mornings are a killer, I guess for some parts because im a night owl. And 3 miles is nothing to sniff at! Go you

Right the kids want the slip and slide out, must oblige. Maybe they will let me read my book..... hmmm

:D

So I want to do personals but I'll be honest, got to spend the morning cuddling with Josh - he's exhausted from being on day seven or eight of a eight or nine day work week and had a pretty bad migraine. So, honestly, my brain's pretty much gone. It usually is. LOL.

Anyway. I finally made it to the social security office. Means I'm officially a Vincent again. YAY! I also picked up my skirt for my comic con outfit. Double yay. And now I'm getting side tracked... So maybe a sign I need to just go. Lol.

Hey everyone. I hope you guys are all having a fab Friday. Yesterday's fast day went pretty well, I totally stayed on plan instead of being just over like I've been all this week so that was great. And today I hit the snooze button. I didn't go back to sleep though, I just needed the extra 5 minutes to convince myself to actually get up. It's my fault, I didn't go to bed till past midnight catching up on Wendy on YouTube... #SighsAtSelf It was all good though, the run and then the post-run workout which was even more cardio but with squats (jump squats) and planks (mountain climbers) and such like thrown in. I have a lower body strength workout to do this evening but I'm looking forward to tomorrow's lie-in. (No run, squeeeee!). Except it's not much of a lie in because someone (a friend of my parent's who was good to them when they first got married and thus I can't say no to) has invited themselves over for breakfast. WHO invites themselves over for breakfast???? On a weekend??? I mean brunch, I can see... maybe even lunch, dinner for sure, but breakfast???? Anyway they said to expect them at 9, I'm hoping that 7.30 is going to feel positively decadent compared to my recent wake up schedule and therefore, I'll feel a little less resentful. It's not like I serve them cereal and toast... #LeSigh man....

Diane: I'm really new to running outdoors (much harder probably because my speed isn't being controlled for me and so I'm running faster than I have to!) and certainly running outdoors before the sun comes up. Alone. With my sound-blocking wireless headphones on so I wouldn't hear if I was being creeped up on... #dundundun but anyway, I persevere. I have a park nearer home which I prefer because it's less trafficked and I could possibly break out into a dance when my jam comes on, but I've been going to the bigger, more popular, slightly farther away park because there's more traffic getting there and more early morning walkers and joggers in that direction. It's not my preference but it does get creepy when it's dark and you're by yourself so needs must. Yay getting all this exercise in! You're amazing!

Kelly: Lol at not running except I'm being chased. LOLOLOL! #iCant I'm not lacking in irony. I think when my runs begin to feel hard I always get that thought of "this is ridiculous, are you being chased?" but then I've always dreamed of being a runner because I think they're so cool and so I persevere, but I do ask myself ALL THE TIME! Sorry about the saggy knees but yay on losing enough weight that you can tell now in a real skin saggy way. Hopefully your skin snaps in a little the more time your body has to get used to being smaller!

Jessica: #teamJ from the start! You're moving along with your life and everything and that's inspirational. Go Jessica go!!! And yay skirt and getting rid of old name baggage!

Alright guys. It's Friday, Friday (#rebeccablacklyricsgalore) and I hope you guys have a wonderful start to your weekend. Let there be on-plannedness, y'all!

Lyn - I tend to like simple foods, so these suggestions may or may not be ones you appreciate. Admittedly, my protein sources tend to be kinda smelly, like the pouches of fish. I minimize the smell by sealing them up immediately after I eat them and disposing of them in outside garbages, but with your sensitivity, that may not work for you. But I also sometimes bake on Sunday a 3-lb bag of frozen boneless chicken breasts with different flavorings I find in my cupboard, and individually bag them up and take them to work. That tends to smell less than the commercially bagged prepared chicken breasts. I eat lots of fresh produce, from carrots to spinach to oranges to apples to sugar snap peas. Mmmm - sugar snap peas. In a pinch, I also really like protein bars, shakes, etc. I also don't really eat full meals, generally, unless I'm eating with someone. On a typical day, I will consume 2 or 3 portions of lean protein (about 2-3 ounces), some snacky produce like sugar snap peas or spinach, some type of fruit, lots of water/unsweetened herbal tea, and some of my Colon Blow cereal (which I eat straight from the box). I eat when it's convenient and I'm feeling hungry or after lifting, and I eat at my desk. Except for my evening meal, I don't really "prepare" anything, and when I work late, I just continue to eat the same foods. In all honesty, I much prefer the experience of eating pomegranate seeds (the tartness, the crunchiness, the juiciness, the sweetness) to eating donuts.

There you go. That may or may not be helpful to you. But in my regularly-scheduled life (i.e. when I am not actively neglecting work), I just need foods that I don't really have to think about. I tend to shop once or twice a week, and leave food in my office.

And you know what? Walking three miles rocks. Being stiff and sore means that you are pushing yourself and improving your fitness levels. Embrace the rock star, Missy. Good advice, as always, from Toasted.

Toasted - Thank you for your thoughtful and helpful response. I am reevaluating the running thing (AGAIN!). Your experience mirrors my own. My first time through C25K, which I think I completed in August or so, I was running a half an hour, but not nearly fast enough to complete a 5K in that time. I could, however, run 5K without stopping. I tried it again with a new strategy yesterday, and got to 1.2 miles before walking. So, I now need to figure out my priorities. I want to be able to run long distances. But my first priority is to burn calories to assist in the weight loss. I'm also looking at doing some tabatas. Just gotta toss it around in the brain for a bit, I think.

Allisonm - I am going to challenge your "I have to take it slow because of how big I am" statement. Your body is capable of incredible things if you push it. Whether to run is a subject up to debate, because running at high weights definitely impacts the knees, but people your size and bigger do run successfully. But you can get a helluva work-out in the weight room or on the elliptical or the row machine, etc. regardless of size. I say this with the caveat that hard work-outs aren't for everyone. They aren't necessary to lose weight, and while some people thrive on pushing through the misery, others feel miserable about it. But, if you want to do it, you absolutely can!

For a few months, I did the "restrict my calories to 2-300 in the day so that I can eat whatever the family is eating in the evening" and was liking it. Hope it works well for you!

Jessica - Oh man! You want to do personals, but you can't, because an incredible man that you loooove wants to snuggle with you. I'd write more, but I'm afraid that I will destroy my keyboard with the volume of tears flowing from my eyes. #TeamJ!

Kelly - I feel like I'm relating to virtually everything people are saying on here! I have gotten to the point where I just can't deny that I have (and will continue to have) loose skin. My stomach, my arms, and my thighs are the worst. I still have 30 or 40 pounds that I want to lose, so this isn't my focus yet, but I HATE that every pair of pants I have is loose on me everywhere except for that pouch of skin hanging from my stomach, which is just unsightly. <sigh> It's a much better problem than the ones that accompanied weighing 280 pounds, though, so...

Diane - Dry, eery cornfields, eh? Awesome. I am just in awe that you are making your 2-a-days work. Not surprised, mind you. Just adding it to the pile of things that make me in awe of you.

Still rocking Beast Mode! It feels less Beast Mode now that it's becoming a habit, and I admittedly am letting a little bit more junk in than I should. A couple handfuls of Flaming Hot Limon Cheetohs last night, followed by half a pop tart to cool my tongue back down. But no binges, good total calorie numbers, and two work-outs. Still counts, in my book. (Though my husband did become kind of food police-y last night. "Why are you ruining your two work-outs today by eating those Cheetohs?"

Thinking of taking a rest day today. I've been pushing pretty hard. But I think I want to make it more of an "active rest" day. I think I'll go for a walk or maybe ride a stationary bike, not pushing myself at all. But tonight's pizza night, and I don't want to have pizza, so I may just excuse myself, go to the gym, and enjoy some solitary time reading or watching some Netflix while I casually pedal.

Woke up starving and decided to finish off leftover pizza. Gonna take my time getting together and out of the house today. But I am gonna get out of the house and probably see Josh. He's said I can come over and watch him study if I promise not to be distracting so I might just take him up on that. Because he's all kinds of entertaining when he's studying. He makes random observations about what he's studying. It's weird having two days off. I was hoping it'd be dry and sunny this morning so Luna and I could take a walk but it's not right now. Maybe it'll clear up by this afternoon. Had to take a few days off from planking. I woke up two days ago with an ache behind my shoulder blade. It only hurts when I breath deeply and it's the same spot I've had issues before. I think it's a deep tissue injury from when I was bucked into a try several years back and Luna slept pressing against it wrong the other night. I don't think it's the planks that were causing the problem because I planked all summer and only ran into the ache once, again, after Luna had slept at a particularly awkward angle.

Toasted, ew for people inviting themselves over early in the morning. It's one thing if you invite them. Completely different when they're doing it themselves.

Laurie, NINJA'D! To be clear, it had less to do with more snuggling and more to do with my brain tends to completely shut off for a while regarding anything but what he and I have talked about after we get together. You should look into a nice gourmet style of pizza for you. There's a place in town here that makes a fantastic veggie pizza. <3


Speaking of. Your "that you love" comment... It reminded me of something I was thinking about yesterday. You know how I'm always saying that I don't know what whatever this is is? Well I still don't know and I don't have any expectations, but it reminded me of something my dad said at one point. I was having a conversation with him about the whole dating as an adult thing and asked how do you know if you're in a relationship - I mean, it's not like when you're kids and you go will you be my boyfriend. He said, generally speaking if you have to ask that question, they you're probably not there yet. My father may have a lot of crazy, but every once and a while I think he says something pretty wise. At the time, I didn't necessarily agree, because it feels like if you just assume, either you're making assumptions about how the other person feels or forcing them to be a part of a relationship with out giving them the option. That being said, I can't really get around the fact that I'm pretty sure Josh and I could be described as "seeing each other" at this point. I wouldn't say we're necessarily boyfriend/girlfriend but I think that has more to do with the fact that I think at our age, the terminology seems a bit juvenile than anything else. ANYWAY.

Aw Jessica oh the flushes of early relationships, its a minefield! I remember way back when calling my (now husband) my boyfriend and yes it feels so highschool lol and introducing him as my partner sounded way to serious. It is what it is, so pleased you are having fun. And super yah on the name change!

Totally laurie, im not too bothered about the mummy belly I have (especially after 2 csections) at least I can cover it or smooth it out with shapewear but saggy knees?! Seriously it looks like I have 2 knees :(

S...S...S...Slammed at work. Oh joy.

Went to spin today. It was a good workout. Two women decided it was a good time to chat... I hate that. But made it through. It depends on when I get home tonight if I do the 3rd day of C25K tonight or just wait until tomorrow. I'd like to go tonight and then be done for the week. We'll see.

I got on the scale and it hasn't moved. We'll see if it moves by Monday. I'm feeling strong, and loving it, but the numbers aren't making me happy. Oh well. May have to tweak something if I start to stall.

Have a great Friday everyone!

So more than the shoulder, my back has started aching today. So as I'm driving home from Josh's house, I realize that I woke up ravenous and my back is aching... And the last Monday of the month is right around the corner. Pretty sure, at this point, that time of the month is almost here. Don't we all love that experience. -_-

Kelly, super super yay on the name change. I'm pretty happy that it's finally done. Of course now I've got to start getting it changed on everything else. Oh joy.

Lyn, he has his moments. They are few and far between, but they do happen.

Hi all! Busy Saturday for me, I had to come in to work. Oh well. I went to work out first, did Body Flow today and I'll do W1D3 of C25K later when I get home. Body flow was great. I haven't been in a really long time, but I felt pretty strong and didn't feel like I have lost all progress in that area. I definitely need to keep going. I was going to do C25K before Flow, but I didn't have time. Oh well! Then, tomorrow is a rest day for me. I'm so ready for that. I am hoping that will help with weigh in on Monday morning.

At work, we are starting a wellness program. It is actually going to be a competition, with everyone being assigned to a team. It won't be for weight loss, I don't think, but more for how many steps per day you do, if you do cardio or weigh training, etc. It is mandatory, which kind of surprises me that you can make it mandatory, but I think most would be ok with doing it. There are two people in the office that I think will not be happy. Kind of looking forward to hearing their take. Ha! Anyway, one of the things you will do is to either give up something or add something healthy to your life for 90 days. It doesn't have to be food related, it can be something like watching 1 hour less of TV per day. I am trying to decide what to do for me. Giving up pizza popped into my head when I first heard about it, but jeez..... I don't know..... we usually have pizza every Friday night. I might have to think of something else. I just know it won't be giving up coffee or something drastic like that. :)

Jessica: Well, hopefully the backache is TOM and isn't something else more serious. Gotta love it. I think I'm almost done with TOM. It has been very irregular, so we'll see if it comes back. I haven't had it for a couple of months now.

Lyn77: That's too bad about the possible surgery. That's never fun!

Back ache seems to have subsided. We'll know soon enough if it is actually TOM. It has to start in this Monday or next Monday. It's been pretty standard at 28 days per cycle since my stress level started going down and my weight started coming off last year. Which is good. :)

Jessica - I hated the "are we in a relationship" thing? I think I finally just asked my now-husband if we were exclusive. It was something like, "I guess I've assumed for a while now that we are exclusive, but I decided I should check with you and see if you thought it too." He had the perfect answer, if I recall (rare for him =) ). I then at some point asked if we were boyfriend and girlfriend, but like Kelly, I thought the terms were really juvenile, and partner seemed way too serious. I ended up just calling him "the guy I'm dating." Not perfect. But I think it's okay to ask if you're exclusive. It shows you're serious about him, but not making assumptions.

Allisonm - You asked about my running, but I neglected to see or answer the question. Sorry. I did c25k, and built up through intervals.

Back later! The husband wants to go get breakfast.

So I'm off on a Sunday. Which is weird. I'm not usually off on Sundays. But anyway.

In regards to the are we exclusive thing, that's an interesting position. The fact is that when I'm in a relationship with the potential of it being a romantic relationship, I'm always exclusive. That's just the type of person I am. It's not because I'm clingy or over-assuming, it's just that I don't particularly feel the need to go around seeing multiple people. But, yeah. I can say that as far as my intuition goes - which is pretty impressive, if I do say so myself - he feels the same. Especially at this point. I do think that there is an unspoken belief that we are exclusive and definitely seeing each other... Especially given something he said the other day.

The intention for a long time has been for me to get a place of my own in Lacey, so we go spend time together relaxing, studying, whatever, and not have to be out doing things. Well, with the credit issue keeping from an apartment, that's kind of out of the question. (I have an appointment with a bankruptcy lawyer on Thursday to review and figure out what my options really are and what my best plan of action is.) But we were talking while he was getting his oil changed, talking about a lot of things. He's got a few things left that he's still working on fixing credit wise since his old company went under about a year or so ago. He said, though, that it's something he thinks will be completely taken care of in the six months or so and, if he's still able to maintain full-time work with school, it'd be a situation where he could move out of place he shares with his roommate and help out with the whole I can't get into an apartment thing... "Just something I've been thinking about." Well, then. When something like that gets said, I think it's pretty safe to say the guy wants you in his life for the foreseeable future. <3

Hi all. No workouts today to post about since it is a rest day. I did do the 3rd day of the C25K program last night. I felt pretty good about it, since it seemed so much better, so maybe I'm seeing progress! I start week 2 tomorrow.

Not much else going on. Have a good weekend everyone.

Erg I hate my scales today, they just don't want to move and I'm feeling really unmotivated :( will keep trying though, its only 30 days but it would be nice to get some joy. Will try and keep off the scales I think. Went for a big walk with Tate, hes 4 and managed 4.5km on his wee bike - proud of him. My charger and dongle for the fitbit we found should be here soon so will be interesting to use.

Ooooh Jessica he sounds like a keeper!

Lyn, yes its the opposite seasons to you guys (presuming you're in the States) so middle of summer for us, was 31º yesterday which is super hot for us so spent most of it on the slipnslide and paddling pool. Nz is ridiculously beautiful, I live at the bottom of the south island mick jagger called it the a***hole of the world, lol our city is alittle flat and boring but its only a couple of hours away from Queenstown and the Alps, mind you're only ever a couple of hours away from sea or mountains. Lol I sound like im from tourism New Zealand

I. Just. Walked. 15. Miles.

I'm back! Finally!

Jessica - I'm always exclusive, too. I tried it once the other way, cuz all the "dating gurus" tell you not to treat a relationship as exclusive until you know you are both defining it that way, but one guy is already a lot to handle. If y'all are talking about living together, I think that's classified as "boyfriend and girlfriend." If you really are worried about putting a label on the relationship (which can be useful sometimes), and don't want to have the "relationship status" talk, you could just refer to him as your boyfriend and see how he reacts. ;-)

Kelly - The scale! Oh, the scale! I am on my scale moratorium, but I miss it. So much. But I really think I'm learning things about myself and my habits, and I think it's been really good for me, largely because I tend to go through the emotions you describe. (I am not trying to suggest you join me, BTW. A scale can be a phenomenal ally as well as a deadly adversary.) I had a C-section, too, and that's when I first got my "apron." I hate it so much. But I agree - saggy knees are another level of ridiculous!

Diane So glad to hear C25K is going so well! Runners, ho! Interesting wellness program. Toasted and I are in the midst of our challenges, so it's awesome that you're joining us, even if you're being forced into it.

Lyn - I watch Extreme Weight Loss with Chris Powell. It's a terrible TV show, but I love it. They had a guy on there who popped his knee within like the first week, and he became really restricted as to what he could do. While I find all of the journeys inspiring, his was particularly inspiring, given his health challenges. (You can watch it by Googling Extreme Weight Loss - Bob if you're interested.) I tell you this because I am equally in awe of your pushing through all of these health issues, both chronic and recent. That, plus the moving thing - it's proof that things don't have to be perfect for successful weight loss.

Still doing the 2-a-days/Beast Mode. Friday night, I literally ate sugar snap peas while everyone else was eating ice cream and egg whites while everyone else ate pizza. That can't be my life from now on. But when I went to the gym, I discovered that the pot had grown to $680. Like Toasted said, Mama needs the cash.

My Beast Mode / scale moratorium is an interesting experiment. I realized that part of my pausing every 10 pounds is probably largely mental. I realize that I do this weight loss in stops and starts. And I really have no problem with that. I tend to be focused for a time, then relax a bit, then tighten up a bit. While I think that's absolutely okay, I also want to figure out how to maybe extend the focused times and compress the relaxed times.

I also think I'm sloooowwwwly figuring out this compulsive eating thing. On Friday, I did really well resisting ALL the crap that everyone else was eating. Except I decided I should be able to have two Oreos, which through the course of the evening eventually escalated to 8. But I stopped. Then, today, I ate the final two Oreos and suddenly wanted to eat EVERYTHING. I didn't, though. I came to work, as I had planned, and there were cookies at work. On Sunday. Whatever. I decided I would eat half a cookie, but they weren't the good cookies, so I only had a bite, and I even spit that out. I asked myself why I was ransacking cupboards and pouncing on cookies, and realized that it was an unarticulated compulsion. My therapist asked me to pay special attention to my inner dialog before a binge, and I tried, but I really wasn't thinking anything other than, "What source of sugar is there in my house right now?" And I realized I liked that binge-y feeling. Not the feeling of being so full I could vomit. Not even the food. Just the feeling of satisfying a deep urge. Not sure what I'm doing with this yet, other than discussing it with my therapist on Wednesday.

Jessica! - You Ninja'd me with your amazingness! 15 miles. That is really great.

Laurie, I noticed myself doing that the other day. The whole binge thing. I've never been a binger but I've noticed there are times recently that I've been letting myself get pulled into the sugar complex. Cookies and chocolate. To the point that I was driving home, down to my last piece of chocolate and I threw it out the window because there was no logic to my I need to eat it because I paid for it thing. Screw that. I needed to get back in control. So I did it. And felt happier since. I've been tempted to get sugar since but I'm going to focus on redirecting my energies back to things like yogurt and away from those things like prepackaged cookies and chocolates. I don't know what it is about them, but they trip cravings that I don't like having tripped.

In regards to the living together thing. The comment of roommates has been brought up hypothetically a few times in the last five months... Has it really only been about five months since we started really talking? Four since we first went out for cocoa? Huh... It feels like so much longer. And yet, five months, it's almost half a year. Back on point, it was always a hypothetical. But then we didn't see each other, sure we talked, but we didn't get to spend time together for nearly a month between the holidays and work. Since then. Well, I think I've been lucky enough to see him every Thursday this month. And there was even one week that I saw him for about four days. It was crazy. :)

Hey everyone. It's Monday- boooo!! But the last week of the longest month of the year- so payday- yeahhh!!! Anyway, so the weekend... well, it wasn't great. It was actually pretty "ungreat!" The whole thing. I feel like all the effort of last week may have been more or less cancelled out in one weekend. Yes I didn't eat myself sick, but I did eat wayyyyyy too much which isn't good. In general. But especially when money is at stake. It's alright though, the ungreatness only fuels the fire to do better and be great this week so leggo!

Today is a fast day which is an awesome reboot after the weekend's excesses. I've got my meals planned out for at least today. I'll sketch out some sort of meal plan for the rest of the week so I don't have those little extras that I allow during the week that are a gateway to overeating snacky stuff at the weekend. Even though I felt grotty in the stomach this morning, I got up and got C25K W3D1 done- indigestion and all and came back and did a leg's workout. I'll do something yoga/pilates-esque this evening before bed. This is week 2 of 4 of my challenge and I need a kick in the pants.

Laurie: I completely identify with the binge revelations. For me it seems like little drops escalate into a massive flood also. From a piece of marzipan on Thursday, I can be neck-deep in muffins on Saturday, eating my way out. And it's true, certain foods do make me binge-ier and you're right whilst bingeing doesn't make me feel happier (in fact the opposite), fulfilling the compulsion to eat whatever it is I'm obsessed with eating does- at least momentarily. But as you say, what to do with these revelations... I guess it's food for thought for now... Thanks for sharing it's definitely got me thinking too.

Jessica: I hope all your aches are feeling better. In my mind, you and Josh are already a couple so I'm all "o rly" about the ambiguous relationship status. Girl, he's your boyfriend/manfriend (which sounds even weirder than boyfriend when you're not talking about a boy)/partner (which always makes me think same same sex or business or 20-years-together-with-a-couple-of-kids-but-still-unmarried-because-too-cool-for-paper-commitment-or-something)! In my mind. Which doesn't count in real life of course, but still, let me! And O.M.goodness 15 miles!!!!! Are you kidding me?! AMAZING DOT COM!!!! Go you!!!!

Kelly: I'm not incredibly fond of my knees either but then I saw a baby picture of me standing, and I've always had chubby, awkward knees and I had to accept that it is what it is. Even after losing weight, I had the sort of chubby knees that like to be all up in each others business. The second thing I realized googling knees is that they're basically an awkward looking part of the body on most people. Maybe as you lose more weight and get more muscular and your skin has a little more time to snap back, the look will improve. Maybe once you're a skinny mini you won't mind so much about dem ol' knees. Or maybe you'll still mind and then the option of surgery will still be there. But yes, I'm also a card carrier in the #AwkwardKneeCommunity On the bright side, they're healthy and get us around painlessly if nothing else. #PrettyIsAsPrettyDoes NZ sounds beautiful and looks the same on tv... I'm going to definitely visit some day. I want to see some mountains, green rolling hills rocks and oceans slamming said rocks like in the movies.

Slashni: One of the things I don't miss about my gym are the loud conversationalists who get on either side of you and talk over your head. Or hang out between your treadmill and the one next to you talking to their friend on the next treadmill... I mean gahhhhh!!!!! Sorry the scale is being a pain but yay on continually getting your workouts in even when you're swamped. You're always an inspiration for getting it done! Your work competition sounds REALLY fun - weird that it's mandatory- but fun nonetheless.

Lyn: Hey no shame in weighing after a hair trim (even though I suspect you kid), I weigh because I "feel light-" not that I'm sure what "feeling light" feels like and the scale never seems to agree with how "light" I feel but oh well... Your new place sounds awesome for getting more physical activity (am I the only bursting out mentally into "Let's Get Physical... Physical!) and yay sticking to plan and continuing to drop the weight even through the stress of a move. You're doing awesome and will be under your 2015 low before you know it! And 10,000 steps a day WITHOUT exercise... I'm in awe! I consider that pretty active. I need like at least 45 minutes to an hour of actual exercise to get that much mostly because I'm a lazy boots who wears sedentary pants and often think of how great it would be if I had telepathic powers so I didn't have to get up and get anything. It's okay. I know what I am and therefore I exercise- but you better believe if I was clocking 10,000 steps a day on average, I wouldn't stop going on about how "active" I was with my 10,000 steps daily. I promise I would be beyond obnoxious! And here you are downplaying how active you are. For someone as sedentary as I can be, I think even just getting up and marching in place would be awesome from time to time. Maybe I'll set some alarms on my phone that ring to get me to force a little more activity in my day. Thanks for inspiring. And I'm praying you don't need surgery and it's "just" arthritis or better yet a twinge that fades away and ends up being nothing in the end.

Okay let me post this now. I've been doing this and getting distracted with work and an office debate on dance reality tv shows for the past 3 hours and I'm liable to lose this to internet gremlins or get ninja'd. I made it through lunch okay fortunately nobody ate anything that smelled especially strong so the temptation wasn't too bad except I'd not say no to some crackers, but no, tea- tea tastes just like crackers. Without the crunch. And salt. And carbs. And light oil. But almost, right? I'm going to make good decisions today and I hope you guys all have a wonderful on-plan day.