Ugh. I feel you. Part of why my mom is more mellow now is that she is 79 years old. And even though now she TRIES to be different about it, she still incessantly makes all these little remarks. I also tried asking her to back off numerous times when she was younger and it just didn't work!!! One thing that REALLY bugged me is that she refused to use the term PLUS SIZED CLOTHES. She would always say stuff like "You know they carry clothes in YOUR size...." as if this was a big old miracle. Or, most of the time, more like, "well that jacket is cute, but it doesn't come in YOUR size...." Still makes me fume!

Just popping in to ask a quick question.

What has two thumbs and just ran 3 miles in 41 minutes?

The answer: This guy!

I took as many breathing breaks as I felt like I needed, and I didn't count those against me. I also know that the pace is glacial. But I promise - I pushed myself really hard, and felt exhausted, but great, afterwards.

MissLoud.....I joined the Columbus day challenge...there is one like every 6 weeks on here and the Halloween. Give yourself little goals that way you know you can make it if you over do it well the wooohooo!

Uber....I relate so much to you! Guess what???? I have not binged since I have been doing my plan. I have a theory as to why. I get once a week cheat something that I have wanted and craved all week. Now it cannot exceed 2300 calories for that day (which I never come close) but at least I have that. And so if I have been craving something I have it ONCE a week. I have linked that to why I have not binged. In the past I have deprived myself so bad it did not work...so if I can do something once in awhile and it works....YAY I have conquered a huge milestone!

Jessica....still on team J and you are doing amazing can't wait to hear how your first day was! Oh and don't be jealous. I carry my weight in my butt and thighs. This is why I can fit those 14's right now....we all carry different and it has its pros and cons!

Laurie......Yay for the 3 miles in 41 minutes you double rock! And as I stated to Jessica I carry my weight in my butt and thighs so that is why I can fit those. I also have more than average muscle tone but believe me I still feel in the 220's and well I am so that be it. sizes are all different and I have 14s American eagles I cannot get into yet but those are my teen section jeans so they will not fit for awhile!

Mandy...beautiful hair! Mine is almost to my but because I cannot afford to get it cut LOL Great job on losses!

Toasted...you got this you can do this just say with me I Can I Can I Can!!!!

Did not weigh in still feeling well tired. I really want to get to walking but I cannot even think of it...feel so worn out I may have to go to the dreaded doctor if I don't feel better.....I always go when everything else fails!

Only got a moment to pop in; still got to take Luna for a walk and grab something to eat before heading to job #2, but I wanted to say hi. So I got on the scale this morning and I'm incredibly frustrated, if I'm being honest. It came in at somewhere between 199 & 200. It was 197 on Saturday... almost 196. I know that my eating wasn't the best - 3 cupcakes and 1 wine cooler over the weekend, but I can't imagine it was that bad! I think I'm merely comforting myself with the fact that it might have been a beginning of the week spike. Also, I'm within 7 days of my expected start date for tom, so maybe that's contributing? Or high sodium? Or not enough protein? Lord knows.

Go Laurie! Running is so great for you! I'm a indoor rower girl, feels so great when you push through and achieve something you couldn't do a couple of weeks ago. This is the first time exercise isn't a chore and I'm actually enjoying it! So weird

Sucky jessica! I'd blame it on TOM, maybe try dandelion tea its great for water retention. Stay strong and know you'll have a weight whoosh after TOM leaves! Takes me surprise every month, always wonder why I want to eat everything in the house.

Hi all, just popping in tonight to keep myself honest.

Had kind of an off day. Little one was home sick so I didn't get much done.

I didn't have a bad day food wise, but I was nibbling a bit here and there-- which I normally don't do at all. I'm going to need to really watch that.

Toasted - The Great Baking Weight Gain of 2013 made me chuckle. Thank you.

Mandy - 50lb lost is a terrific way to celebrate your birthday. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!

Uber - Doesn't it blow your mind what normal eating looks like? I think you're light years closer to normal eating than I am, but I'm getting glimpses of it and it's like seeing the color blue or yellow or something for the first time. No description actually prepares you for that "I'm going to stop eating these veggie straws that I'm really not into anyway" moment. I could probably count on one hand the times I've felt that, but I've felt it. That's the miraculous thing. I now have some idea of what the other side might look like.

MissLoud - I think 95% on plan is a spectacular goal. Heck. 80% is pretty amazing by my standards and I'll post up a dancing carrot for anyone 51% on plan.

for all of you 51% on plan ----->

Laurie - I actually put my two thumbs up and pointed them back at myself to celebrate with you!! (omg that is so cute, I've never heard that before)

Jenni - Hope you start feeling less tired soon!

Jessica - Hang in there even when there's no love from the scale!!

The past couple of days have been good when it comes to me being on plan. I'm just putting one foot in front of the other and it's going well. I saw 263 on the scale this morning and am hoping that it sticks for another few days until my official weigh-in day on Monday. I've promised myself some nice eyeshadows once I get into the 250s and... well... I'd really like those eyeshadows sooner than later.

Good morning, everyone!

Jessica - Grrr... The scale setbacks. I am relying heavily on the scale this time around, and I think it's been good for me in many ways. But those days when it is inexplicably high are so frustrating! Glad it's still saying 19_ rather than 20_, though. ;-) It really is the nature of daily weighing, though. Just something to be endured.

Uber - Things that throw my routine off often result in unexpected food challenges. I can't imagine being trapped in a house stuffed to the gills with junk. Sounds like you did a fantastic, if imperfect, job coping with it all, and you caught yourself before your snacking took you off the rails. Like Martini said, this sounds a lot like the way "normal people" must manage their eating. Imagine that! Instead of being kryptonite (which is unsustainable for most of us in the long run) or barreling back to Fatland, you are simply managing temptations. Also, we are totally the same person. I am incredibly driven, and am generally pretty successful in achieving my goals if I set my mind to them. Yes, the weight will, at least to a certain degree, bend to my will. But not always. And that's hard. But I pride myself on being tough. ;-)

Toasted - Life really does interfere with the best-laid plans far too often. But you're keeping on keeping on. And even though you aren't losing again at the rate you would like, you are still maintaining an incredible loss. 5'7" and 184" looks really good on you.

MissLoud - There is lots of debate on the actual physical benefits of exercise on weight loss, but it is so important to me mentally. When I am exercising, I am generally also being wiser about food choices. Yay for exercise!

Jenni - I have a huge butt and enormous thighs. Which is why, I thought, I can fit into a size medium dress (that flares rather than hugs everything below the waist), but can't fit into my size 14 jeans. But who knows? Totally glad you're rocking yours!

Martini - I TOTALLY love how into make-up you are. It's such a cliche that us fat girls don't care about our appearances. It is a goal of mine to eventually get more educated about make-up. (Apparently, I have "hooded eyelids," and should be strategizing to minimize the hood.) And those one-foot-in-front-of-another days, I think, are the ones that really make a difference. Even when I am straight-up gaining, I can have great, determined, on-plan days. It's staying on course between those bursts of enthusiasm that really makes the difference for me. Also, I have been a little worried about you and your work situation. I really hope it's getting better.

Mandy - I love those unexpected gifts from the scale. They make up for the scale being so stingy sometimes! And you also have lovely hair. Skin, hair, personality - you're completely gorgeous!

Diane - Hope you had a great start to your week and that you are rocking those early morning work-outs without any sign of soreness.

202.0 today on the scale. That's down 3.2 from yesterday. I did run my 3 miles (plus walk another half mile warming up and cooling down) and attend a 45-minute Zumba class that evening, but when I went to step on the scale, I did my typical "You know you worked hard yesterday, so even if it's up, you know you're on track" speech to myself. And I ended up with a huge loss. Woot! Kind of hard to complain too loudly about gaining 13 pounds in 9 days when I've lost 17 in the subsequent 15 days. My weight is just so frickin' weird. But it's officially a new low since 2008, and I unexpectedly punched through my trampoline weight, whether it was 203 or 204. Plus, I am 2.1 pounds from Onederland! I don't know if this one will stick, but it was great to see it. And I passed by the brownies in the kitchen a dozen times yesterday without being particularly tempted. Maybe the proximity to Onederland will provide a shield against them again today. (Yes, I admit that even knowing the brownies sat out uncovered for over 24 hours does nothing to dampen my enthusiasm for them.)

Guys, I really think I need to get rid of all of my size 24 pants.

I think I mentioned it previously, about the pants falling down to my knees as I ran up the stairs... yeah, it happened again yesterday with a different pair of size 24 pants. I don't know why I keep grabbing them, except out of habit. But since today I'm wearing pants I couldn't even button 5 months ago, I think it's time to get rid of all the size 24 pants. Or at least box them up and save them for maternity clothes.

Yesterday was a long, busy day here. I cleaned the kitchen and did a load of laundry in the morning, and then hubby got back around 2, and we were in the car and on the road for a 3 hour drive to a friend's ordination. There was a catered dinner (fried chicken, corn, green beans, coleslaw, potatoes, rolls followed by red velvet cake). I had made sure to leave over 1000 calories to cover dinner. I had a wing, and a leg, a scoop of corn, skipped the green beans because I HATE canned green beans (I'll eat fresh all day long, though), a small scoop each of potatoes and coleslaw, 1 roll with half a thing of butter, 1 cup of lemonade, and a piece of the cake. I didn't eat anything after dinner... but I'm moderately certain between that sodium heavy dinner and 6 hours in the car yesterday I'm retaining some water. I checked the scale this morning, and it didn't move from yesterday so I'll chug the water today and hope for a drop tomorrow.

In other news, my bedding set is coming (comforter, pillow shams, decorative pillows, bed skirt, sheets), and so is the set of area rugs I ordered. I'm so excited to be turning this house into my home!

We'll be saving up to buy a new bed here soon!

Okay. I've already been on here too long. I have to take hubby's paycheck to the bank, stop by the vet's office and order the cats' food, and stop by the grocery store to grab stuff for dinner.

Baked tilapia (my style - with sour cream, bread crumbs, garlic, parm, and italian seasoning) and spinach/feta/strawberries/walnuts + raspberry vinaigrette salad. Might make something else. I still have half of a massive spaghetti squash to cook, and the way I like to season it would compliment the fish nicely. Hmm. Decisions.

Have a great day y'all and I'll be back later!

Jessica - Ugh-- scales woes. I think bouncing around is especially hard when you are right around the turn of a decade, and SUPER hard when you are bouncing between 1s and 2s. Give it just a bit more time and you will settle in lower where you won't be bouncing into the 2s at all!

Toasted I really do admire you for working so hard to maintain before you are too far off track. It's hard to be above your lowest weight, but there is still a world of difference between what you weigh now and what it feels like to gain most or all of the weight back.

MissLoud - Terrific news that the scale is headed down for you! You're off to a great start!

Jenni - I'm really sorry that you are feeling run down! Perhaps a trip to the doctor is a good idea!

Martini - I love that you totally get how far away we are from understanding what normal relationship with food would actually look like. I now realize that I never developed a normal relationship with food due to my crazy mother, I think developed my own (different from mom) but equally messed up relationship with food. My DH has a normal approach to food, but I really can't relate to it much-- he doesn't like sweets at all, and honestly, just doesn't care what he eats at all. He would eat a boiled tennis shoe if you set it in front of him. The best role models I have for "normal" eating are my two teen daughters (ironic, eh...?) My 17-year-old sometimes pigs out and eats and entire bag of candy bars and often eats salad for lunch just because she likes it. She has always maintained a normal weight, and if her smallest shorts start to get tight she "cuts back a little" for a few days... the whole thing is very organic. I absolutely DO NOT KNOW HOW to do that. But look at you in the low 260s!!!!! You are doing absolutely great! I hope the work situation is get some attention from your boss. Keep us posted if you feel like it.

Mandy - Mandy-- your hair is just gorgeous!

Diane - Hope you had a great weekend!

Laurie Look at you already below your trampoline weight and within spitting distance of onederland! And a new low since 2008!!!!!!!! That is definitely carrot-worthy. Fie upon those brownies...(I had a close encounter with homemade brownies over the weekend and survived with only a nibble of the crumbs... you can do it!) Onederland here you come!

So, I'm contenting myself with inching down EVER so slowly. 248.2 this morning.

Martini's comment got me thinking... learning to eat normally is like seeing blue or yellow for the first time... And you know, I realize now, after my boom and bust 110 lb loss that I never did learn to eat normally even during that time. I "thought" that the way I lost weight the first time was me eating like normal people eat. I think I developed an idea of how normal people eat from spending way too much time growing up in a family with a mom who taught me how to be crazy about food, and let's face it, there are A LOT of women in this world who are also crazy about food... so being crazy about food doesn't really seem that abnormal. But for me, to be actually NOT crazy about food, I would need to genuinely learn that food isn't dangerous, and it doesn't control me, and I can eat a normal portion size of food I like without somehow needing to eat ALL of it as if it were my last meal on this earth. I can't tell you how much of a revelation it is for me to realize that even though I have 1) eaten a whole box of fudge, 2) eaten a few jelly beans here and there 3) eaten a few Ruffles potato chips almost every day and too many Ruffles on several occasions etc. that I'm still losing weight, and I'm losing at about the exact same rate that I lost at last time.

Hi, Everyone--

I just wanted to pop in and quickly say hello. I really appreciate the discussion about normal eating; I can so relate. It is amazing how skewed our relationships with food can be. I am not sure I know what normal eating is.

Mandy--I would say the fact that your pants are falling off is a pretty good indicator that they are too big! What a great problem to have!

Laurie--way to go on both the exercise and weight loss fronts. You have hit your stride again. I hope you can feel the admiration coming from my little corner of the world!

Jenni--I hope you are feeling better soon.

Jessica--sorry that the scale is not cooperating. Frustrating for sure, but I think it is part of the journey.

As for me, I lost 2 pounds. I am a bit disappointed, as I thought it would be more, but I will take it.

Hope everyone is doing well and I hope to have a chance to catch up on all the posts I have missed (I just looked at the most recent ones).

LotusMama - Good to see you here! And so exciting that you have posted a loss. I know what it is to want to see more, but it's awesome that you are on plan and progressing. Woot!

I am actually just popping on for a minute to name my horrible thought and then tell that hooker to shut up. I have gotten several compliments today on my dress. I feel like it accentuates my curves, even if it shows everyone what thick calves I have, and I really love it. But every time someone says something nice, I think, "Don't you know how fat I am? Even after losing all the weight I've lost, I'm still fat." Why would I say that to myself? I think fat women are often gorgeous, and I love it when someone not considered an ideal weight has the confidence to wear something that is fitted, and I am trying to emulate that confidence. It's a good look, and people are responding to it well. This is the part I do hate for real about the weight loss journey. I always know that I'm fat. And it always affects me some, but I am actually pretty good at ignoring those thoughts. But when I am focusing on losing weight, I think much more about the fat that hangs from my arms, or my thick calves, or whatever, than I would if I was in complete denial mode. <sigh> Off to the gym to lift weights. Maybe I will have more appreciation for what is a very functional, increasingly fit body at that point. I sometimes feel so ungrateful for what I have.

Lotusmama...thank you....I am feeling a tad bit today and I hope you get more pounds down soon! Way to go!

Martini...great job on your loss you are doing amazing!!!! I am so proud of you! And I really hope that bullying stops...bullying is NOT okay no matter what!

Uber...thank you...I avoid the doctor like nothing else....I am watching myself today is a little better. I hope you get a loss soon...I have been at 227 for like 7 days now!

Mandy...Yay for falling down pants I hope it doesn't happen anywhere where it would be embarrassing! I think you should pack them up for sure Your doing amazing!

Laurie....you got me thinking...I think any woman that struggles with weight has these thoughts....I know I do. I have several confident overweight friends who have told me that they do have the confidence but still feel that way. To me beauty is just that it is more inner than outer....the most beautiful people have such wonderful hearts! Okay I am going off track now...why do us women struggle with this? I got to thinking and I conclude that it has a big part to do with the media and how they view women. Lots of people don't know that stars and models so do not even look like what they put in the magazines. Edit, cropping, photo shop has really given us women a negative view on what a healthy woman should look like. So ask yourself....what would you be happy with? No what would you truly be happy with if you could have your body look like anything you wanted? For me many times it goes back to a magazine I saw and I have to correct myself (totally not saying everyone does this). So you go ahead and tell that hooker voice to shut the muffin up and tell yourself how beautiful you are....I mean it!!! Go to a mirror and say I am Laurie and I am beautiful!

We never will strive to be perfect but its us trying fixing that helps us strive to love ourselves a little more each day! With this journey that I hope is my last unless I decide to have another baby...I am REALLY trying to change my ideals of myself and my mind.....that hooker is so mean and I have booted her out for a nicer hooker...LOL

Love you all hope you are having an AMAZEBALL of a day

Lol Mandy of the falling down pants! Might be time to retire that size I had a purge of my wardrobe at the weekend, got rid of anything that didn't make me feel great. Also looked at the stuff I have to srink into and got rid of anything I don't love, fresh slate!! It has left me a little low in the clothes department so I better go down a size so or I'm going to get very bored of the clothes I've got!

I like 'trampoline weight' (well I don't like it!) But totally understand it, mine is 110kg I just seem bounce around that weight, I really don't think I will feel like I have lost anything until I blast through that number on the scales.

Good work on the lost Lotusmama! May it be the start of many more

Anyway the fickle New Zealand spring is changing to rain and hail this weekend, after a week of lovely days, the boys were even butt naked in the paddling pool yesterday! Don't think I'm going to get a walk in so out to the rower again.

https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.n...c345ba8d700c77

Don't know if this will work??? Love this!!!