Martini I am so sorry that you are going through difficult work and family times. That is just so difficult, but I think you are doing absolutely the right thing to avoid being isolated and stay in touch with our little group. I also tend to react to stress by withdrawing into myself (and food) and staying connected, and being kind to yourself are two excellent strategies to deal with stress. Eating a sandwich and chips because you felt like it sounds like an excellent strategy. I can fit a sandwich and chips into my plan from time to time-- no reason you can't eat that if you feel like it!

Mandy How great that you sound weights at the rummage sale! You'll have to keep us posted on how it goes.

As for me, I'm suffering from "wow, how can I still be so fat??? why aren't I thin yet??? syndrome." I knew I'd feel like this eventually. It's where I actually start to look for evidence that I'm looking thinner and start to get frustrated when I don't see it... and really, part of it is because when I'm really heavy I just don't look at myself that much. Even though I'm down 36 lbs, I'm not enough smaller to start noticing things like dropping sizes.... Also, when I regained, one of the things that happened was that I deposited fat in different places-- and unfortunately one of those places was my upper arms. I was kind of vain about how good my arms looked last time I lost... but when I regain, my upper arms really took the hit and now I have these fat globs there that I never had before. Sigh... I know that now is the time that stepping up on the exercise will really help. I think exercise actuality makes you look better faster than losing weight.

Poor lil Uber... guess I'll just have to hang in there!

Welcome aboard, Meaton.

Uber, I'm totally feeling that right now. It's specifically aimed at my abdomen/muffin top/belly fat. It isn't even that I'm upset that it's there, but in the past it has always hit this point where the inches lost from the gut slow down around the 205 mark. I keep telling myself to just keep at it and at some point, it'll be the only place left that I can lose inches from.

I don't expect to see Onederland until after Tuesday's weigh in, but I did see something in between 200 and 201 this morning. In other news, I finally broke down and bought a new pair of jeans. They're size 16s, but I was also able to fit into 15 juniors. What? Crazy, right? I might have gotten some 15s - they did fit - but the ones at Walmart not only cost more but actually made me look bigger than the $15 16s by Faded Glory.

Jessica Oh, the dreaded tummy! I totally know what you mean. It is just so frustrating when we want to look better and all we see is our flaws! I'm sure if I saw you, I would never think "ooh, look at that muffin top, but I would think you were a fit, healthy-looking young woman..." I am SO EXCITED for you that you are fitting into 15s and 16s! There is nothing more awesome than getting into the normal range in clothes! Your tummy will continue to shrink as you go down and I don't know why the fat comes off so weirdly!!!!! Last time around, my arms, legs, and face got really thin, and I STILL had a tummy. It made me absolutely crazy!!!!! When I regained, I didn't put as much back on my tummy-- instead it went straight to my arms. It was actually part of why I didn't realize how much I had regained... I could still button my pants but I had enormous man-sized arms. Ugh. Sigh.... thank god the world doesn't see us as we see ourselves! I'm sure you look GREAT!

After seeing 249.8, I've been back to 250 the last two days, so I decided to move my ticker to 250, but not yet to 249. Only five pounds until I'm halfway to goal!!!!

Still in Washington we went to a really cool zoo. I head back tonight!

Uber....I know we get down on ourselves I do too I have a hard time looking in a full length mirror...the only thing we can do is support and think positive! You will get there I know you will and when you do you will have the most great looking arms!!!!!

Uber, and that's the thing. I really do believe that my body goes through stages where it loses inches from various locations. Early on, I had a lot of inches coming off of my stomach but the first two months of tracking inches, I saw absolutely no movement in my arms and the last two months, I saw no movement of inches in my calves - until last week when it finally gave a little and dropped below the 17" mark at their widest point. It's just a situation where you accept it and wait it out.


Ladies.... in other news, I have absolutely no idea what the scale said this morning. I had to get up at 430am to make it to a store meeting for the summer season that started at 6am. Needless to say, didn't weigh before leaving. D is officially off my list of guy problems. Well, sort of. More that he's not a candidate in any sort of relationship.... he's a man-child who plays nerd more than is really a nerd so. Yeah. He is still sort of a problem just because it's clear that he has an interest and I'm trying to be clear to him that it's not reciprocated in that way.

That being said, I had a great morning. The meeting ended at 730am but I didn't even start home until almost 10am. J suggested that we get some coffee (he paid!) so I got to enjoy a nice pumpkin spice mocha and talk nerd. It was admittedly awesome.

Happy Sunday evening, everyone! Tomorrow, I am driving 2 hours for a court hearing and dragging my kids along. Because we will then drive another half hour and end up at the zoo! So will not be posting tomorrow. And I have so much I need to catch up on!

And FINALLY catching up on posts.
Martini - Your post where you described me as courageous made me cry. Don't mean to invoke trainer boy again, but he and others like him would look at the days that I struggle and say it was just because I am lazy and have no will power. I much prefer to see myself as strong in the face of challenges. When I get harsher messages, it's harder to keep myself in that head space. To hear from you--who understands so much better than Trainer Boy--that it is a courageous thing to keep working through the challenges instead of a weak thing to have challenges makes this struggle so. much. better. And you know what? Making the decision to eat a sandwich and chips instead of binge is a great decision. I'm sorry that you are struggling right now, but how amazing are you? To have completed huge work projects and moved countries and adjusted to entirely new food and to still be as successful as you are -- well, I bow to you. In a Wayne's World kind of way.

Mandy - Woot on finding our respective crossroads. And new furniture. And figuring out how the hooker really is. And finding New Rules of Lifting! I am back to Stage 1 again, so we can sort of travel it together. Look at you go in your new pastor wife life.

Jenni - I COMPLETELY approve of your trashing all of the food in your house that tempted you. I regularly use this strategy. Because I know that the food will get wasted either way. Why waste it in a way that makes me miserable (like physically and mentally after I eat it) and fat? I also relate to your kid drama. I am actually just regularly stepmother to two half-time children (half with their mother, half with their father), with my five bio children strung out across the world. Right now, I have three of my bio and two stepchildren in the house, and it's A LOT. You're pretty amazing to deal with six at all times.

Jessica - Check you out! Not only are you quickly approaching Onederland, but you are dipping a toe into the romance pool! Woot! And, BTW, it is not okay to restrain you from leaving a room. Ever. Even if it was your boss, she could tell you consequences (such as losing your job) if you left, but she could not physically restrain you. And certainly not your co-workers. Good on you for not putting up with it. Even though it brought back bad marriage memories (which, if your experience is like mine, will fade but never disappear), it's awesome that you're not the same person. You didn't tolerate it. Also, have I mentioned how excited I am for you that you are approaching Onederland? WOOT!

Uber - I have super fat arms too! (And I say "too" simply based on the fact that you have said it, not to confirm that your arms are fat.) And I hate it, partially because I have some pretty impressive biceps that I want to show people (and I actually do), but the fat that hangs down when I flex is disappointing. But you know what? I have a friend who went shopping with me, and she was amazed that I fit into a smaller size dress than she did, even though she weighs less. She said, "I forget that you carry so much weight in your arms and legs." Not subtle. But while big arms and legs is not something I would seek, I do appear smaller altogether because of it, I think. Trade-offs, I suppose. But more importantly - YAHOO on being at 250! That is insanely cool that your dates happen to match, and that you sped through the 250s both times. You may not feel skinny right now, but I hope it catches up to you soon. Because you should be able to feel good about your incredible progress.

Diane - You are such a hard worker! To skip the gym because of sore legs and go in to work early to get extra work done? That's cray. I do hope the soreness fades quickly, though, because it seems like it's been dogging you for a while. And I know how important the exercise is for you. You really are a paragon of consistency. You've also had great scale news, if I recall correctly.

Toasted - It's so great that you are getting in good work-outs again. I am all about the work-outs because it makes me so much better mentally. And I so often have to wedge it in, sometimes even at the end of the day, to make it work. But I am much better in so many ways when it's a part of my life.

Like I said, I won't be able to check in tomorrow, but I wanted to post my weight from the 6th, when I picked up my kids, to just demonstrate how truly crazy my weight has been. But I am back on the right track. And even though I ate too much for dinner, today was a normal "little too much indulgence" day instead of a binge day. And I can handle that. I'm about ready to go on an evening walk/run, so that will (hopefully) ameliorate some of the damage.

6. 206.4
7. 209.2
8. 212.6
9. 213.4
10. 215.0
11. 216.6
12. 215.2
14. 217.8
15. 219.6
16. 218.2
17. 218.4
18. 217.0
19. 215.4
20. 213.2
21. 211.2

I am so grateful to all y'all. Thanks for being part of this journey with me! Here's to a great on plan week for all of us!

Laurie, you're doing fantastic! I'm so happy to see your numbers moving in the right direction. I did have a bit of a furious moment. I stumbled across proof of my suspicions that my soon-to-be-ex has shacking up with someone else as soon as he dropped me off back in January. They "officially" started a relationship on March 1st, though he was sure to text the **** out of her during MY birthday and the Valentine's Day weekend that followed it (always wondered about that). And they got engaged on July 6th. It's funny how people can feel it's acceptable to ask someone to marry them when they won't even sign their own fraking divorce papers. And the thing is, I don't even care that my suspicions of there being another woman were confirmed or that he's engaged. I care that he LIED about it. Here's the question I pose to people like him. If you're not ashamed of what you're doing, why are you lying about it?

The weekend off plan was pretty insightful. It turns out that I think I have diet foods and then there's everything else. There's a huge difference between the two. When I'm on plan I'm weighing and measuring tofu and rice. When I'm not on plan I'm eating half a package of noodles with a fistful of cheese on top. I have no sense of portion control. I'm either weighing and measuring or eating entire [insert food item]. It seems that the only way I can manage my eating right now is by putting something on a plate, eating it, and not leaving any room for guesswork.

I'm back on plan today without any problems moving from my off-plan mind to my on-plan mind. I'm actually kind of relieved. I also weighed in this morning and had a loss for the week which helps with getting back on track. I feel like I dodged a bullet with that last one, though.

I do think I need to make some changes to my plan. I've increased my calories from 1200 to between 1500 and 1800 a day. It will definitely slow my weight loss down but I don't care about that right now. I think it's more important that I learn how to eat because I so very clearly don't. I'm also working to incorporate foods that I like. For lunch I'm having bread and cheese. The key part of this is that I'm having one roll and one slice of cheese with a cucumber/tomato salad on the side to add some bulk and fill me up.

I'm also working on compartmentalizing these environmental issues so they don't intrude too deeply into my peace of mind.

Uber - Thank you so much for being so supportive. Going back and reading my last post, I absolutely see all the warning signs for justifying a binge. I'm sure you saw the same but you simply let me do my thing. That actually means more than I think you know.

Hey Everyone, how's it going? I disappeared over the weekend and let me just say... it was NOT good. martini, I so get it! I'm back on plan today... so far so good. It's early yet though... only 11a.m. but one must believe in oneself or else what is there.. Anyway, more on that later. I've caught up with all I've missed and I'm for the umpteenth time kicking my own butt for not at least checking in- I'm sooo much better with you guys.

FeraFilia: I love your new furniture and I totally get what you're saying about it being YOURS! Congratulations!!! Yay also on the scale drop! You have been a rockstar throughout your move. I would have fallen completely apart but you've been organized and on-plan and your progress shows it! You are such an inspiration! Keep going!

LaurieDawn: Yay on being on plan and on the downward scale trend! You'll get back where you were! Keep going!

garnetrising: I'm so sorry about what happened at your work. I don't get what "equals" has to do with anything. It is completely unprofessional to get into anyone's physical space to prove a point or otherwise. Why should you be restrained to make you listen?! That is wrong, wrong, wrong!!! And that's even without your past experience to add to it making it worse. You definitely deserve an apology and I hope you got one. If you didn't then I apologize that numpties like that exist at your work place. Just imagine that! I'm mad on your behalf now! Sigh! That said, congrats on 201! Go go go!!!!! Yay on a great Sunday morning and simplifying you man drama. You know I'm Team J all the way so I'm stoked you had a good... coffee nerd out. Re your ex, there are all sorts of sayings I can think off to describe that situation but to summarize, what goes around, comes around.

ubergirl: Wooot at dropping below 250! Go you!!! I have to say I'm a fellow sufferer "wow, how can I still be so fat-itis! (HCISBSFitis)" It's so tough to lose even a pound that I feel like at least every 5lbs should be like a size drop and when it's not, it's like "it's not fairrrrr!" #pityparty Now mind you, 98% of my life was spent super obese, so you would think currently weighing less than I did at age 12, I should feel positively miniscule. I don't, if anything, I'm more hyper critical. Then when you add that HCISBSFitis to "comparing yourself to others-itis," it's a general fun time! We will get there. We just need to be patient and keep up the hard work, I suppose.

martini: Sigh... the end of last week was pretty rough for me too. Too let off a bit of the pressure of feeling like I was failing, I upped my calorie restriction to maintenance levels and that helped a bit... Although there was of course Binge Friday, but that said, I think loosening the plan a bit for a few days helped. I hope you're doing better. I think increasing your calorie allowance and allowing foods you feel deprived of, sounds just the ticket! You can do this!


Okay so first for accountability purposes, I finally weighed in post my trip and it was 186 lbs. I weighed in after Binge Friday too, so I think we can call it what it is. So basically, I've not really made much progress this month. There IS one week left though to hit a 4-month low (184.5 from April 30), if I can drop 1.5 lbs in that time. So that's going to be my goal this week. I fell off the exercise wagon last week but that's only an excellent opportunity to climb back on the wagon. I found last week that the To Do-list style worked for me so here's Monday's To Do:
1.) Eat less than or equal to 1300 calories.
2.) Exercise high-intensity for at least 20 minutes OR hit 8000-step goal.

Hey everyone. I am back from Washington with a cold so not feeling well I thought it was an everyday chore to stay on plan but with this carb cycle I feel like I have to gag myself to eat when I don't feel well...I might live off of protein shakes for a couple days! On top of it all three littles are sick too...poor babies!

I do have some good news! 2 months into this lifestyle change and I have lost 21 pounds and 20 inches!!!! This last month was a lot slower than the first month...so we will see what happens the third month! I have read everyone's posts and I am all thinking of you. I know we all go through different things at different times but I have one thing to say about this thread well a couple:

1. I look forward to reading this everyday.
2. I am so thankful for the people in this thread you all are awesome.
3. The support is not like any other group I have belonged too!
4. I am so thankful I found it and all you! You guys truly rock!

Laurie Your weight parabola is a beautiful thing. Not that you are still not back to your low weight-- which is frustrating-- but that you turned a potential major backslide into a small bump in the road!!! No getting marooned in FATLAND for you! You mastered the single hardest thing for any of us-- not to get totally detoured by a rough patch. I'm so proud of you!!!

Jessica Just because he is your ex doesn't mean that you are not still emotionally connected to the situation. You have made amazing strides since getting free-- new job, new weight, new life! But still, the pain of your marriage will continue to rear its ugly head and dog you. Keep venting to us as we totally don't mind. For myself, I'm just happy you had the strength and good sense to get shed of him! LOVE your nerd coffee!

JEnni Sounds as if your trip was really fun!

Toasted So true what you say about how getting smaller can almost make us more self critical. I am sure you look fantastic, but when you get into the normal range, suddenly the yardstick changes-- instead of "I'm not as fat as X,Y. or Z fat person..." it becomes, wow, even after losing so much weight, I'm still so much bigger than the skinny people. It's a battle, but I think those of us who spent a good amount of time being morbidly obese just can't ever really be quite normal about weight. Sufferers of HCISBSFitis unite!

Martini I'm so glad that my words connected with you. I can definitely tell you that I understand EXACTLY what you are talking about-- your issue is precisely my issue. In a nutshell, I'm a binge eater and I'm literally terrified of any foods I like because I feel like even I resist them for a while (seconds, minutes, hours, days or years) eventually I'll give in to the urge to binge...I have been giving a lot of thought also to the concept of "diet food." I also have a tendency to lose weight by sticking to certain kinds of food. Keep sharing your thoughts and insights here. Together, I really believe that we can find a new way, and maybe that new way will help us not to be regainers next time.

There is a poster in the chicks in control thread, who's name is wannabe skinny, and she writes some incredibly insightful posts about how to overcome this mentality. Every time I read one, I think she makes an incredible amount of sense. You might want to check it out.

Diane, LotusMama, anyone else? Hope you all had a great weekend!

As for me, I had an excellent weekend, although not very exciting, as we didn't do much. Calories under a 1000 yesterday, so I need to make sure that I don't fall into the restricting trap trying to make the scale move. Weighed 250.0 this morning, so I still haven't seen the elusive 249.8 reappear.

A few NSVs to report: wore my skinniest fat clothes this weekend-- my size 22 capris that were too tight are now getting loose, and I wore a size 2X tee shirt that was shoved in the back of my drawer with the too small stuff. Am also feeling increased mobility. Up until now, I really didn't feel any smaller, but now, I can start to notice a difference.

Jenni

THIS
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And hope you and the little ones feel better soon.

Uber....you will get under 250 VERY soon!!!! It is so frustrating when the weight goes slow...I go between 1-2 pounds a week ....I know that is a healthy average but it is so hard when you see some that can lose 3-5 lbs a week!

I had a blast even though we were sickies LOL we went to a zoo that was AMAZING....my 5 year old rode a camel! I love zoo's that are interactive like that!

Hi all. I don't have a lot of time today and I've been away from the computer all weekend. Just wanted to come see how everyone is doing and say hi! The scale was good to me, and I saw a 3.4 pound loss this week. I was glad to see it. I just seem to be up and down the scale right now, but overall I'm seeing losses. Hit 60 pounds off, so that was nice!

I'll come back later... might be tomorrow!

I have missed you all and sorry that I haven’t posted for a while.

Last week just crushed me, workwise. I had (and still have) several deadlines. I ended up having to go to a meeting 3 ½ hours away, which cut into my already crazy week. On top of that, I am battling a nasty cold, which has left me feeling pretty exhausted. Yesterday, I had plans to come into my office and work in the afternoon, but ended up sleeping over 3 hours.

I only made it to the gym once last week, which was really disappointing. I felt so good the week prior and actually enjoyed my morning workouts. I am hoping to get back sometime this week, but want to feel a little better before I go back.

This past week has really emphasized for me how important it is to have some balance in my life. Fall tends to be a pretty busy time for me at work, but I think I am overloaded and I think I am paying the price for it health wise. Not exactly sure how I will create this balance, but I know that it is critical that I do it.

I will try to catch up on the posts I missed during the last week or so, but in the meantime, I hope everyone is doing well.