Thank you for all the responses, I know we all go through our own struggles and it helps to hear different points of view.
I think what's getting me the most right now is if I really do have a smaller frame to work with, my goal should be closer to 130 rather than the 150 I've always had in my head. Not that I'll know for sure until I get closer, it just seems so impossibly thin and I can't imagine my body adjusting to that. I'm at the smallest I've ever been and already have so much loose skin. And if my stomach is the very last thing on me to go (and I suspect it is), I'm guessing I'll be stuck with a pot belly until I get to that lower end.
Sigh. I often read about other women at 5' 8" and around 200-220 pounds wearing size 12's while I'm currently 205 and in a solid 16. I'm guessing I'll need to lose another 20 pounds or so before I can get to a 14. The thing is that I've never considered my frame size, just that I'm an apple (with a built-in muffin top!). It's gotten better over time, but it's so frustrating when I find jeans that fit "right," they still fall right off me simply because my waist is still so much bigger than my hips.
I don't ever expect to have a flat stomach, and in all honesty I never expected that I'd be able to stay anywhere under 250 pounds. But I do want more even proportions with a waist that curves in from my hips instead of out, and I think I've got more work ahead of me than I realized. And don't get me wrong, I appreciate how far I've come. I even love being on the tall side. What I need to do is stop worrying so much about numbers, continue with my plan, and trust the process.
Thanks for letting me vent.
I bet that 200 seemed impossible 100 pounds ago.
Just keep going. See what your body does. You look so good already, the good health literally GLOWS from your photos. Maybe 130 is for you, maybe not. Don't let it discourage you, because it doesn't take away from the progress you've made.
I'm sure BMI guidelines are too generous for me (for now at least, because I have such a sedentary lifestyle).
BMI guidelines are based on averages, and I would love to one day to be "overweight" by BMI charts only because of stronger, heavier bones and more muscle than average, but I think that's extremely unlikely (I can't see myself ever being athletically active enough to make that happen, unless maybe weightloss puts my arthritis and fibro in remission).
Even so, I would be ecstatically happy just to get into the BMI guidelines for "overweight" (or even barely "obese").
"Ideal weight," seems like a pipe dream after 40+ years of being morbidly obese and almost 30 years being "super obese (being more than 200 lbs overweight).
I'd feel "skinny" if I were "only" 100 lbs overweight by the BMI chart.
Add me to the list of folks who have an actually large frame. I'm not big boned, but I am very broad through the hips, shoulders, ribs, etc. I also have long legs and a short torso, so I put on weight like an apple and have big breasts, back flab, and a tummy that won't ever go flat again. Not the end of the world, but it is amazing how much weight I have through my core even at fairly low weights.
I'm not sure what my frame size actually is. I have small wrists and fairly small fingers and feet for a tall woman. However, I think my lowest pant size ever was a 10? I'm not sure what it actually is supposed to be. I think my pelvis seems large, but what do I know? I can't even look at myself realistically in the mirror and see what's actually going on there. I know I look fairly thin at 165 or so. I would like to see what 150 looks like, although I would settle for a lot more if that meant I could have the muscle I have always worked to have but could never quite achieve. It is interesting the differences in everyone's frame and their own perceptions about it.
I think it depends a lot on where you carry your weight. I wear size 4 pants pretty much across the board now with a pretty even split between S and M tops...but if you look at me I definitely don't LOOK small because I have very broad shoulders and...well, am pretty much built like a dude.
I actually weigh about the same as one of my best friends who's about 5'' shorter than me, but she's lucky enough to have her weight in her boobs and badonkadonk, giving her a very well-proportioned look. If the two of us stand next to each other, even though I have a lower BMI, she looks thinner just because of how her weight is distributed. It still confuses me to no end to buy clothes labeled small because if I fit into a small, what do the skinny people wear?! It seems really weird to me that, big as I still feel, there's only like 3 pants sizes below me for all the skinny people of the world to fit into.
I have no hips and butt, so I went from a 12-ish pant to a 4 and and my ridiculous shoulders have gone from an XL to a S/M
I Thought I was big boned until I started losing large amounts of weight. My hands are long and lean, my leg as are long, but my torso very short.... But my bones are no bigger than the average. I look forward to just being the best version of me.
I'm assuming that since I'm barely over 5 feet tall that I'm not big boned. I think I'm just average. Size 7 feet, size 7 rings (when I wore them). I have unbelievably fat upper arms and thighs, very large breasts and a big butt. Even at 290 lbs, my waist never hit 40 inches so I'm looking forward to having a nice small waist again.
This thread being resurrected reminded me of some feelings I've had as a smaller me that still sting a bit. Even when I'm the smaller me - like when I was the smallest I go to - between an 8 and a 10 in clothes, 12s in dresses that would need some altering, and a medium on top. I KNOW that I didn't have much left on me to lose as my body fat was indicating too, but when standing next to other women, I still looked big because I'm built so big and I have big boobs. I never looked petite or willowy. I looked stocky... not fat as I didn't look fat, but among non-overweight people, I just looked big and I hate that!
It's so funny how we want to be what we can't be. I would love to be petite or willowy built. I LOVE that look! I don't love the voluptuous look - on me.
Marilyn Monroe was not HUGE.... her 12-14 then is like a 6 now. She had a tiny waist and she didn't have huge boobs. I will NEVER have or even get close to the hour glass figure of 36-24-36. I got down to 39-30-40. I used to have a smaller waist, but middle age has hit me.
The grass is always greener. I would love to have big boobs and get sad each month as I do measurements and see them melting away, meanwhile my best friend loses weight everywhere but her breasts and is actually considering reduction surgery.
And Elladorine, you look great! I agree with not making any decisions until you get there...
I always thought as a kid I was big boned too. Really I was just obese from about 6 years old until my teens, when I "thinned out" to overweight status. I've realized though that I'm actually very small framed. My ring size is a 4 and I have chicken arms and small shoulders. I carry all my weight in my lower half basically. Its depressing because when I got down to 145 before my last pregnancy, I was a size 8 , and a healthy bmi but had sooo much weight left to lose. Its frustrating because its so hard for me just to get to 145. I cant imagine ever living the life I need to live (ie not eating how I want to eat!) to maintain any lower. I wish so much I was a bit larger framed and 145-140 looked good on me. I'm could probably get down to a size 0...but there's no way...I'm annoyed at just trying to get weight off now. My goal say 130 but I don't think I'll get there.
