I go to the gym every night and with my ipod plugged in, I manage to run / speed walk / run on the treadmill for 20 mins straight before I move onto other equipment.
This Saturday the weather was REALLY good and somehow my bf convinced me to run with him on the streets of our neighborhood. (We have a really long but narrow biking / walking trail) I thought it was a fantastic idea (I never ran in public before) but but BUTTTT I was so wrong!!! I have never felt more self conscious in my life!!! Since the trail is narrow my bf asked me to run ahead. I refused. I told him to run ahead or next to me. I couldn't stand the thought of him watching me run from behind. Every time I'd see other joggers / walkers / bikers I would stop dead in my heels!!! I just couldn't run with them watching!! It happened SO many times! I felt like putting my head under the first truck I saw !!!
My bf was so super patient the whole time. He did get mad at me for not getting my ipod along cos he knows that music really gets me going. On the way back he even mapped a route which wasn't on the trail. He thought I'd run through the quiet neighborhoods where no one was watching and there weren't too many cars passing by but I just couldn't bring myself to it. He said he knew I had the stamina to run but it was a mental thing stopping me. He said I need to stop feeling weird about people watching and cars passing by and just run. He said that I can stop going to the gym but I shouldn't stop running on the streets !!
I know he makes sense but at that moment I felt like everyone had their eyes on me like "oh look, fat girl running". My bf is super athletic and does not have a single fat cell on his body (flat stomach n everything!). He is too freaking fit and in my head that was worse 'cos I was like what if I am embarrassing him? Needless to say we walked the way back and my bf tried to cheer me up with stories from his school days.
Sunday morning I went to the gym alone while he slept and I ran my usual 20 mins without giving a hoot about anyone there! What is wrong with me? I want to be able to run with my bf. How do I deal with this mental block?