It is quite sensationalist - and the idea they were testing is about 100 years old (depressing how science is often not progressing!)
That an unstable relationship with the mother, particularly at a very young age, could contribute to the child looking for other external means of comfort to cope with his changing environment....... which extends to his adult life - is nothing novel.
The experiment is far too simple and only looks to that factor as the cause, not merely one contribution among others.
Also, "hating" your mother is phrased a bit too drastically. One could have the best, most loving mother, who does her best but does not adequately soothe the young child, which also can be the onset to later problems in life.
For example, what if you are a mother and believe your baby should sleep alone in his bed? Many good mothers believe this - and many children are raised this way. Some will deal, may even learn to become strongly independent, other children may be scarred.
You could raise each child the same way, some will ease effortlessly in society, others will not.
I think all the article does is put a lot of stress and worry on mothers.
Oh, and the article makes "scientific research" look primitive.
Interesting article yet sensationalized, as stated by the OP.
It did make me consider my relationship with my mother however. I always felt at odds with her growing up. It wasn't abuse thankfully but more of a power issue and a lot of miscommunication. Plus she was always there watching every bite I eat then telling me to stop when SHE was full. I remember rebelling against her by stuffing my face at times, eating just to spite her.
One of the guilty pleasures I have in losing weight while calorie counting is that during the times when I am eating and she can't help but comment ('You're eating /THAT/?? After 9pm?!') I can throw back at her all this weight that I've lost without her help so she does NOT get to comment on my food intake or I will GLADLY take my dinner and eat it elsewhere.
Other than that however she has been a wonderful mother who gave me everything I need to start a great life - she just dropped the ball on a few things. Which, in fairness, every parent does, we can't be supermoms after all. Besides, dealing with what our parents may have neglected is part of growing up.
The article does give an interesting perspective however. It helps to show how even obese kids have emotional issues that needs to be dealt with as well. Just like us adults, their answer may not be a simple 'calorie in vs calorie out'.
Last edited by DesertTabby; 12-26-2011 at 04:26 AM.
I don't know about this, but I remember reading an article about a study where they had found that if a mother had poor self esteem it would often be passed along to the daughter. It made so much sense since that is who you have as your model and who you identify with. I mean, I had always heard that if you grew up in an abusive household that you were more likely to be in one as an adult, but I guess I didn't consider just the self esteem aspect of it.
It made so much sense to me. My mother would always, always talk about how fat and ugly she was in front of me, and would say things like "don't grow up to be fat and ugly like me!". People on the street would tell us how much we looked like each other all the time. Which then translated into me deciding at a very young age that I must also be fat and ugly. I swear that if I have a daughter I will set a strong and confident example for her as best I can.
After posting here several months, I started noticing how many of us have problems with our mothers. I also notice a high correlation with the number of us put down by our mothers that went on to have serious weight issues. Now, as a mom of two little girls I have long since decided I will NEVER make them feel bad for their weight--be they thick or thin. Home should be the ONE place (even if it's the ONLY place) for a person to feel good about who they are and what they are about. I never want there to be a time for my kids to be run into the ground for what they look like--at least not from us, their family. The ones that created them and the ones that chose to bring them into this world.
my mother put me on diet pills since I was 11 yrs old (instead of proper meal portions or healthy food served) and watching her diet all my life is, I am sure one of the contributing factors to me being over weight. This surely made me have a horrible relationship with her and well many more issues I rather not discuss here-I can well believe it this is true.
I hope my daughter never blames me for the troubles she may face in life, no matter what they may come to be. I've made it a point thus far her entire life to let her know she was wanted and is loved more than she could ever know.
If anything, blame genetics for body type/weight issues...not hating mama. I noticed in attending a funeral mass for my eldest Aunt who died at 90 y.o. all of us blood-related relatives, whether male or female, had the same body types. Between 5 ft. and 5 ft. 7 inches, with bellies. It was hilarious to realize that no one would mistake us for NOT being related. It is what it is.
Home should be the ONE place (even if it's the ONLY place) for a person to feel good about who they are and what they are about.
And I think your little girls are very fortunate to have a mom who feels that way.
I felt compelled to comment because even though I have been growing up in a very supportive environment (thinking of unconditional love, a good education, a stable home and family) I remember countless times of my dad putting my down for my weight (from his perspective: encouraging me to make a change for the better, reminding me of the importance of loosing weight and consequences if I did not) and from my mom what a selfish person I was, looking down on others, being arrogant and such (much of which was true I think when I was in my teens but having her repeat those again and again after a decade has passed and I feel to have grown as a person through experience at least some it makes me often sad that she either does not see any change or refuses to acknowledge it or focuses to emphasise only the bad ), both of which I think have to a great part contributed to me developing a low self-esteem as an adult. I am sharing this because I feel that there are two things worth pointing out:
1) From your parent's perspective, incentives that one might perceive as being hassled for your weight, might just be their way of trying to encourage a change, though perhaps not going about it the best way, but hey, parents are people too and not perfect, which is at times easy to forget.
2) There is also a lot of positive one can learn from such dynamics in order to try to act differently from that which felt painful to you while growing up once you have children of your own, so there may be some good to be gained even from the bad experiences.
I adore my mom. And she always made me feel awesome and beautiful, no matter the size. It's probably why I'm so confident today. I hope to be half the mother she is.
This. Though I got it from both sides, to be fair. They didn't mean to be cruel, but they both grew up in dysfunctional, controlling families (my dad's family controlled food due to extreme poverty, my mom's because my grandfather had unrealistic expectations of his daughters' weight) so I came by my disordered eating honestly.
My sister flirted with anorexia, though thankfully she has a handle on it in adulthood, and I went to the opposite extreme. My parents contributed to that quite a bit, though genetics also has a lot to do with our weight issues.
It still hurts to hear my mother put herself down all the time because she is overweight. She always talks about herself in very derogatory terms. I really hope I don't pass the low self esteem to my own daughters.
Never heard of this one but this was never my problem my mom was always my hero. My dad on the other hand we butted heads all the time (never hated him though). I think the reason I gained weight so fast was because I substituted the pain of my grandfather's death for food (he died when I was eight, at that time he was my best friend). It snowballed from there I guess. So no nothing to do with my mom.
i've always had a good relationship with my mom, she like my best friend now. she would try to gently nudge me into taking care of the weight she saw me gaining, but never insulted me about it. dad did once. had an aunt that called me a 'fat beast that shouldn't be anywhere but a basement' because it was hot and summer time and i preferred to sit in the basement where it was cool and read than go outside where it was over 90 degrees and run around in the sun...
but never my mom. she was always the first to defend me and plainly state "she's aware, and she'll take care of it when she sees it as a problem. leave her alone"... and yet, here i am. more than 100lbs overweight. take that science :P
My perspective is that you can only take your childhood so far as a rationale for behavioural issues. At some point everyone must take responsibility for their own actions. Some people can be raised in terrible homes and turn out great and vice versa.
hating your mother means you're twice as likely to grow up fat
), both of which I think have to a great part contributed to me developing a low self-esteem as an adult. I am sharing this because I feel that there are two things worth pointing out:
