After reaching my highest weight of 360 several years back and slowly making my way down to my high school weight of 250, I got stuck there . . . yet again. It's happened to be the plateau point at many times in my life. And the longer I stay around this weight, the less the 100-ish pounds feels like an actual accomplishment. I know it's done a ton of good for my health, and that it's easy to forget how much more difficult it was to carry on with every day life while carrying so much excess weight. But it's been frustrating.

I've stayed around 250 for about two years now. I somehow got sparked into pushing myself harder with the diet and exercise this past spring and finally managed to get under 250 for the first time in well over a decade. It was exciting! I got all the way down to 240 and noticed my clothes were finally starting to fit me differently, then . . . well, I'm not sure what happened.

But for starters I injured my legs overdoing the indoor cycling, and I guess I let things go downhill from there. Some bad family issues came up and I've been stressed all to heck because of it, and the issues aren't about to end anytime soon. I had to take a trip back to my hometown at the end of summer to visit my dying cousin, some of my family is no longer on speaking terms with me due to some property mismanagement, I'll soon have to deal with a lawyer to set things right which will likely make things even worse in some aspects . . .

Not that things ever really slow down in life, but I sure could use a break right now. I feel like it's just been non-stop ever since I found out my cousin was sick (luckily I was able to see her before she passed away). The house is a complete mess right now, been trying to train the new puppy, and trying not to stress out over some decisions I've had to make. I've been living in another family's house for two weeks out of every month to babysit. I really don't feel I've had time to stop and breathe since making the trip to see my cousin (it was a 26-hour drive each way, no stops). Allergies are killing me right now. I broke my toe a few weeks back and can't get back into walking just yet. I have absolutely no energy and cry at the drop of a hat. And I've been letting myself eat whatever. Oh, and did I mention that my car broke down a few months back as well? We had to get a rental for the drive to see my cousin and still haven't been able to afford to repair the thing. So along with the broken toe, I've felt completely house-bound. The hubby tries to take me out when he can but he's exhausted from just starting a new job on top of everything else we've been going through lately.

I've bought plenty of fresh fruits and veggies. And they spoil before I can make myself eat them. I've looked through the healthier selections on the dinner menus. And I opt for the cheeseburger and fries. I *know* how to lose weight, and I especially know how to maintain the loss I've made so far. But I'm back up to 260 again. Not 250, but 260. I'm so disappointed in myself . . . all that hard work I managed this spring is now gone, and all the maintaining I've done in the past couple of years is slowly creeping away.

I know all I can really do is pick myself up and keep on truckin', so to speak. "Life" always happens; I realize that no matter what you still have to deal with things as they come in addition to taking care of yourself. And I know I haven't been taking care of myself. I feel like my body and my mind is at war with that, and I need to fix it before I slide back any further.

We've about caught up with our finances at least, and can repair the car soon. And DH mentioned this morning that we can afford to go pick out some new clothes we've both been needing, possibly this coming weekend. Heh, this would have been exciting when I was down to 240, but being back at 260 . . . it's sorta depressing. And yes, I really do need some new clothes, and I can't really put it off until I get back down again.

I'm not sure what my point is, except that I think writing this out and posting it will help me with my motivation and accountability. I've just been so tired, depressed, and stressed out . . . I feel like I need all the help I can get.

In the meantime I think I'll put in one of my exercise videos and concentrate on what I can do with the upper half of my body . . .

hey, great job losing 100 lbs and basically keeping it off!

I can relate to changes and stresses causing stalls, believe me. I had a job change that I let get to me to the point where I gained 20 to 30, and I'm in the middle of working it off. It's taking me longer than I'd like due to consistency -- ie keeping my head in the right place, having the time and energy to keep my exercise up, and sticking to my eating plan.

Exercise helps me with stress, more than eating comfort food, though I have had cave moments unfortunately. I think eating off plan and skipping exercise tends to stress me out MORE, so keep that in mind.

Maybe concentrate on one area of change at a time, and build on that. What's past is past, don't dwell on it except to learn from it.

Just wanted to send you a cyber hug (((Sirenity))). I don't do well with stress and I feel for you. I hope things turn around for you real soon.

A lot of us can relate to what you're going through! And really, you've defied the odds by losing that 100 pounds and maintaining for a few years. You've identified that you're slipping and the reasons why it's been difficult, and that's the first step to getting back on track.

I can certainly relate to the buying good stuff and watching it go bad. I think for a lot of us, overhauling our entire diet and integrating fruits/veggies/clean eating 100% of the time isn't realistic. There are many people who swear by it, sure, but maybe you're the kind of person who gets overwhelmed by too many requirements. Recently I've started a goal of how many servings of fruit/veggies a day I want to have and buying exactly that. It's modest. But if I make the goal, it's a good thing. And it's more servings than I WOULD have had otherwise. you can work your way up to eating more. Just making those first few steps is the hard part!

You have a lot of stuff going on in your life and a lot of challenges and annoyances for sure! But keep in mind, situations change before you know it, and soon many of these things won't be issues anymore.

Sirenity, you've done amazing, and you've been an inspiration to me. I've also been stalled for several months, back and forth from 270 to 280. Just hang in there. You can do it. You're a success.

Well, I can offer hugs and prayers. You can do the rest. I'm totally impressed with the fact that you lost 100 and maintained for 2 years. I just started maintenance and it's a challenge in itself.

It sounds like your husband is wonderful and supportive. That is a huge factor in your favor. We all face things that seem out of our control. You do the best you can and accept the fact that that's how it is. I'm sorry you and your family are on the outs. I'm sorry about your cousin. I recently lost an aunt and was able to visit before she died, so I can relate to that 100%. But you need to put it all in perspective and do what you have to do for your health.

I can also relate to the concept that it isn't as urgent to lose now as it was when you were heavier. I think we all face that at some point. No matter what our staring weight is, after a huge loss we feel WAY better. Then the urgency passes. Now you have to get it in your head that another 50 or 75 pounds will get you into a pretty healthy place. You know what to do and you know how to do it. Now, just do it.

I will be thinking of you. I hope we see lots of you in here. You will get the support that helps and an ear to listen. Take care of yourself and report back soon.

Lin

Yes, take out those videos and do that; it really helps to make you feel better. You have accomplished a lot; don't ever forget that. You've had an extra amount of stressors in your life; and it's great that you are aware of that, so take some action against it. Exercise is a very good choice.

It's good to express your thoughts & feelings by sharing them; it will help you to see what is going on and to avoid eating your feelings. Ok, so you had a slip; but you can get back on track -- one-step-at-a-time, one-day-at-a-time. We've all been there, trust me.

The problems will get solved; you will find solutions, and in time, this too will pass. In the meanwhile, do what you can that's good for you and your health. Baby steps even ...

Like the others, I say congratulations at maintaining the 100lbs off. I've never maintained any weightloss in my almost 40 years of dieting!

but you're right to be concerned, weightloss is so fragile, and you Don't want to end up like me - 106lbs off, 80lbs on, 40lbs off, 30lbs on. (10lbs off at the minute )
You seem to have one heckuva lot of "stuff" going on all at the one time, some things you can control, some things you can't. In stress-heavy situations, I find it helps to make lists or even timetables to plan out when I'm going to do the things I've got to do: breaking it down into small and therefore achievable chunks really helps me feel organized. Once I feel organized and in control, then my eating is better. I also timetable my food - what I eat more than when - and the recording of it helps me keep my eating in control too.
and good luck!

Thanks everyone! I know I'm a little late with this reply but you guys really cheered me up when I needed it. I took a few days to let things settle in my head before taking my first baby step back to working on my health. I've been avoiding sugar like the plague and have been much more careful about my food choices; for example, today we had a fast food lunch, but I chose something that's half the calories of my usual meal at the same restaurant (it's still far from the perfect lunch, but was the best I could do at that particular establishment and was in a perfectly acceptable calorie range). The past few weeks have been a pain since I've been sick with a chest cold and haven't really been able to deal with my kitchen.

I'm anxious to get the kitchen back, lol. We had to get the puppy spayed (which I wasn't too thrilled about, but it's the law now) and we've been keeping her locked in the kitchen when she can't be supervised . . . or when I need a break from her trampling around with the cone like a bull in a china shop! We have her follow-up appointment tomorrow; I'm sure she's doing fine and I'm anxious to take her back out for walks since she probably won't need her elizabethan collar anymore. And once my toe is back to normal I'm anxious to take her out for longer walks.

Oh, and I've lost a couple pounds, so I think I've been doing something right.


dragonwoman64- Thanks! Yeah, I think keeping the consistency might be the hardest thing for me at this point. I've been yearning to feel settled with all the changes and have let myself remain pretty overwhelmed. Right now I'm focusing on ridding sugar from my diet, and my next step will be portion control. And once my toe is back to 100% I plan on taking those morning walks I've been missing out on.


KatMarie- Thanks hon! I think things are beginning to turn around at least.


djs06- Thanks! Although it took me a few days to even get started on the baby steps, I feel like I'm finally going in the right direction again! My food choices are much better now and I'll concentrate on my portion sizes once I'm comfortable with where I am.


CanadianCutie- Thank you so much! Looks like we were at similar starting points, I even stalled for ages around 280 but eventually broke through that. You're doing great yourself with your loss thus far, keep up the amazing work!


linJber- I'm sorry to hear about your aunt . . . sigh . . . we all have to go through it, don't we? I'm so thankful I got to see my cousin in time; I always considered her more of an aunt since she was my mom's age; in fact, they were best friends growing up and is the reason my mom met my dad. I've already lost both parents and it's made some of this all the more difficult.

As time passes I become more and more aware that I really need to make my health a priority. I'm not getting any younger and I want to make sure I remain fully mobile and independent . . . one of the wake-up calls I had near my highest weight was nearly blacking out while driving! I'd also like to boost my immune system (I get sick so easily) and get my asthma more under control. I've also lost many of my family members to cancer (including my cousin) and I want to make sure I have enough healthy years ahead of me to enjoy myself.

Regardless, congratulations on your loss! It's especially inspirational to know you started around the point I'm at now . . . proof that it can be done!


Justwant2Bhealthy- I'm certainly working on those baby steps now! It just took me some time to come to terms with a few things so I could commit myself once again. Thank you so much for your encouraging words.


Rosinante- Thanks hon! I am feeling a bit better now that things have settled. It's so easy to forget how much easier it is to gain than lose. I'm taking some baby steps over here to get better organized, concentrating on my choices for now. Keep going in the right direction, I know we both can do it!

I wondered where you went! Thanks for posting again. I'm glad thing are getting under control. Life doesn't stop so we just have to do our best to keep control of the things we can. Keep your chin up. Hope the pup is doing OK.

Lin

I wanted to come back in here sooner but I just haven't had the mental energy to reply to everyone properly. All I've been wanting to do is curl up and sleep ever since this chest cold hit me.

The pup's fine. While I'm here, here's a photo of her reigning over my kitchen . . .



She has soooo much energy, lol. And since she's had the surgery I haven't been able to take her out so she can get it out of her system. Being able to take her out for walks again will be good for both of us!