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Old 02-06-2003, 12:06 AM   #1  
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Default Slap me please ....

Will somebody please give me a cyber slap or a pep talk or just a good ol' kick in the butt, please!!!

After being out of work for 5 months, dh started a new 4-6 month contract job in another state ... about a 2 hour drive from home. He left Monday morning and will be home by dinner-time Friday IF the weather cooperaties.

My kids (3.5 and 6 years old) are not doing well with this. We have nightly crying sessions with screaming from my 3.5yo dd: I WANT MY DADDY and whimpering and moaning from my 6yo ds: Daddy ... come back ... daaaaaaaaaaadddddddddddyyyyyyyyy.

Tonight I picked them up at the sitter, all seemed fine. We got home I opened the car door and told my 6yo to get out and my little one had a total meltdown, lasting nearly 20 minutes because she wanted to get out first and her brother got out first. They're giving me a very hard time about going to bed at night and they both have dark circles under their eyes.

AND ... I'm not sticking to my eating plan. I do ok while I'm at work (breakfast, lunch, snack) but not when I get home. We have dinner, I clean up and make lunches and I eat the wrong foods for dinner (cuz it's easier) or a nibble after dinner or both! I haven't been totally out of control, cuz my TV and computer are on the 2nd floor of my house and when we come upstairs for the evening I bring a huge cup of ice and a bottle of water ... and I will not let myself go back to the kitchen.

The thing is, while I'm eating the wrong foods, I KNOW it's wrong and it bothers me. But I'm hungry and stressed and trying keep the kids happy, so I just do whatever is easy. Tomorrow we'll probably have dinner w/ my Dad at his retirement community and that will actually be BETTER ... I'll be able to order fish, veggies and salad while the kids can order their favorites from the kiddie menu ...

How do I break this pattern?!?!?
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Old 02-06-2003, 03:20 AM   #2  
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Wow, I would love to have the perfect thing to say to help for a pep talk! I think we can all relate to how hard it is to stay focused on being OP when all of life with it's "stuff" keeps drawing our attention!

One thing that has helped me is to start with the little things. They are more important than we know! If you can start by making small decisions at first. . .like "I'm not going to nibble on that because it will help me stay on my program" or "I'm going to eat a smaller portion at this meal and drink some water." I think the more we make the right decisions, the easier it will become, little bit by little bit!

Maybe with the kids, at dinner time you all could talk about the things you all want to do when dad gets home for the weekend, and let them name off some things they'd like to do. Maybe this will help them focus on the positive things!

Very best wishes to you. . .stay encouraged. . .every new morning is a bright clean slate that we can use to write a beautiful day, a day that we can use to bring us that much closer to our dreams! What I try to remember is that Praying about things always keeps me grounded and encourages my heart! *hugs* irishwings
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Old 02-06-2003, 11:46 AM   #3  
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Wow Step, this is a toughie. It sounds like you are going through a lot right now. I would agree, though, just take one step at a time Try little things first like no nibbling. Try planning out the weeks meals on the weekend when hubby is home to help with the kids.

I'm sure they will get used to it, it will just take time. *hugs* and prayers!
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Old 02-06-2003, 11:48 AM   #4  
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Oh and BTW we live very close to each other, I live about 30 minutes west of Boston where 495 and 290 meet
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Old 02-06-2003, 12:24 PM   #5  
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Step, there sure seems to be a lot going on for you right now. Please keep in mind a couple of things, first, this is a new experience for all of you and second, it is only temp. It is going to be hard on the kids and you to have daddy gone for the first time. It will get easier. When my dh was traveling, I started doing a lot of things around the house as "surprises" for daddy, like painting a room or planting some flowers. This was not only good for me, because it kept me from sitting around munching, but it got the kids involved with something exciting to do for daddy.
It always helps my kids (3 and 5) to talk to daddy on the phone every night. We try to keep the routine as much as possible. Since daddy reads the bedtime stories at least once a week, he brings books with him and reads over the phone. He also makes sure to ask the questions about school and dinner, etc.
Another piece of advice...keep a calendar and let the kids mark off the days until daddy comes home. This will keep them knowing that it is getting closer.
About the eating the wrong foods. Try planning menus for the week, and buy only the foods needed for those meals. I find that for my family, if we don't have the crappy foods in the pantry, I'll stick to what I planned and we eat good meals.

Good luck. I hope that things get easier for you and your family.
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Old 02-06-2003, 09:14 PM   #6  
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the only thing i can think of is get rid of the kids!! [just KIDDING!!!!] BUT my goodness, you're dealing with a lot.

maybe before DH goes back next week, he can leave little surprises around the house for the kids [just one each per day]. even if it's just a note or a small toy or or or or... something for them to look forward to that might distract them during the witching hour?

maybe over the weekend you can prepare some nukeable plates [and freeze them] of things you should/could eat and then you can give the kids their hotdogs or mac and cheese or whatever keeps them happy and you can have whatever you NEED. and i mean things like chicken with some vegs all wrapped in foil [or those adorable glad plates with the lids - might be a splurge, but your health and sanity or 5 bucks?]. and then you just nuke

you need to take care of YOU. so that you can take care of THEM.

but no matter what you end up eating ... you're doing a great job just by getting through this difficult time
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