Dirt and blooms

  • So in 96 hours, I'll be tucked up in bed in Jerusalem. Wow, just wow.

    At the minute, I'm so wound up:

    * Crap, crappy, crappiest work meeting last week. Snarl.
    *I am getting so little sleep because I have to take one of the dogs to bed because her dementia has got worse and if I leave her downstairs she howls at the washing machine all night but on the bed she's quite restless and if I go to bed too early, none of them can last through the night without pools and little gifts so I'm on about 4 hours max at the moment.
    * Her dementia is making her very snappy with the other dogs, sometimes. I'm constantly on the alert. She's happy a lot of the time. I feel guilty because I'm not giving the other dogs the same attention.
    * Although they're quite well, the dogs are all 14 or 15 and I'm afraid they'll die while I'm away.
    * Although she's quite well, my mother is 90 and I'm afraid she'll die while I'm away.
    * I'm afraid of flying.
    * I'm afraid of terrorism.
    * I'm afraid my head, which still hurts after the fall 4 months ago, will explode on the plane and I'll die. (It's (probably) a damaged frontal sinus, I'm on a steroid spray).
    * I'm anxious about having to share a room, haven't done it in 25 years.
    * I'm ANXIOUS about having to share a bathroom. What if I can't go? What if I go too much?
    * I'm just keeping the lid on not over eating. I'm going up and down the same pound.
    but
    I went to my local corner shop, which has just re-opened after 6 months, and the owner told me I look fantastic, much younger, look really good in my clothes. So I didn't buy the bar of chocolate after all.

    At the minute, it seems there's a whole lot of dirt to make just the one bloom but it was a good one.
  • That's quite a list!
  • Oh my word Rosenante!!

    I can identify, all the worries before one steps out in a new direction. You're tired, anxious and worried. It feels crummy, but this too will pass.

    I just know if you looked at your list, you have done the things you need already to minimize/ take care of most of the worries. And the ones you haven't, release to your higher power to handle.

    You are going to see wondrous things. I can't wait for you to come back and post about them.

    BTW congrats on not getting the chocolate.
  • I know it's easy advice to give,but stop thinking about the negative, and see if you can make them positive. For example: the person you are sharing the room with could turn out to be a great friend for life. And I totally relate to the sharing the bathroom thing, but honestly, we all have to go sometime And I agree with Bunti, just think of all the wondrous things you will see. You are taking the trip of a lifetime...I'm completely green with envy! Safe journey!