Well put Dixc Chix...I like the way that you said that. It's a perpetual cycle....everything has a weakness....it starts with motivation, which can come and go, then it leads to commitment, which is started with motivation, which leads to determination, and that essentially leads to rhetoric and routine. None of these are possible without motivation and when you lose track it takes understanding your true motivations and using them to take action and get back up on that horse.

It's not how many times you fall it's how many times you get back up. True motivation is what allows us to keep getting back up.

I posted here to share my views and to get others.....I'm happy to hear other points of view...It helps everyone. As was so aptly pointed out before, some things work for some people and some things work for others. I can tell you though for me, and pretty much anyone else i have came in contact with, motivation is key.

Keep the ideas coming!

p.s. And once again thanks for the welcome

I WANT to hear from people who disagree with me, because if everyone agrees with me or keeps silent, I learn absolutely nothing.

Of course you have your own feelings and experiences, just as the poster does, and just as I do - and we're not only entitled to have them, we're entitled to share. And because they are different, is the very reason that there is a need to point out the differences. Sharing differing opinions and experiences in no way is "not letting" someone else have theirs.

Nothing I said or anyone else has said was implicitly or openly sending the message "you are absolutely wrong. My opinions are the only correct one, and you are not entitled to your opinion or experience. You must see things my way."

Instead all of the posts have been saying either "Hey, I feel that way too," or "That's not been my experience, what's been true for me is...."


Saying nothing or saying "you have the right to your opinion, I have the right to mine and out of courtesy I won't share mine," doesn't help anyone.

By keeping silent on a topic on which I disagree or have a different experience (or even one I think is usually true, but untrue in some situations), I would be encouraging people to believe what I believe is at least sometimes untrue. Encouraging or supporting what I consider a possible misconception would be wrong - just as it would be equally wrong for someone who thought I was wrong to keep silent. That doesn't mean either of us would be "not letting" the other have an opinion.

There's no way to prevent people from having opinions, but the closest we can come is having the expectation and exerting social pressure for people to keep silent when they have one.

I learn a lot more from people who disagree with me than people who agree with me or keep their disagreement silent. Nothing strengthens a logical argument/opinion or weakens an illogical one as defending it.

Dave - how did you discover your motivations? What was you thought process?

IMHO, extra large fonts do not make an opinion any more valid. They do make for a dramatic statement. This is one of those chicken or the egg discussions. I for one got a lot out of each and every post whether I agree or disagree.

I know I haven't been here long, but in my experiences with forums...it's about sharing...that's what they are built for.

Here it goes....

When I discovered that motivation was the key for me I discovered it on accident. I was overweight, but I was more concerned with my financial situation and goals. I was trying to start a business and I kept losing money every time that I invested it and didn't realize what I was doing wrong. I then realized that I wasn't TRULY motivated. I was already working harder than everyone else that I knew, but things weren't really working out for me. I was motivated, committed, and disciplined, but things just weren't working.

I then sought outside counsel with what money I had left from failing businesses and invested in a "life coach". It turned out to be the best decision that I have ever made in my life. I found that what I was motivated by was all the wrong stuff. I was motivated by things that I thought that I wanted....problem was I didn't know what I really wanted, therefore I was motivated incorrectly and doomed to have an inccorrect perspective on the road that I needed to take.

I then did an exercise that showed me what my true motivators were and I used those to reach new heights in business and adapted them to weightloss and I had dramatic success. I realized that I thought I was motivated for this or for that and I was wrong.....the motivation is almost always and experience or an emotion.

For example...business related,
I want to be successful to buy an exotic car. Thats your motivation. When really I didn't want the car I wanted the experience that comes with the car. The James Bond like feeling. Driving up somewhere and everyone notices you. I really wanted to be important and to be noticed and respected.

I then applied this to my problems with weight and once I understood why I TRULY wanted to lose the weight everything else just seemed to fall into place.

I challenge you to think about what TRULY motivates you and then use those motivations to fuel your success. I promise if nothing else you will have a better understanding of your motivations and will make it further than you thought you could.

So, what are you here for, Dave? :) Tell us a little more about yourself. What was your start weight? How much have you lost so far? What's your goal weight? What food program has been successful for you? Do you belong to a gym, or...?

Jay

Thanks for your interest
 

I'm hear because I love to help people.....

I love to help people succeed and spread goodwill every chance that I get. I started at 209 lbs and now I fluxuate a little between 155-160 and am incredibly healthy at that weight and think that I look very good :)

I haven't used any exact program just kept at what I know works. Stay away from the bad foods as much as you can and workout in a regular regimen. I am a member of a very good gym that I visit atleast 3x's a week and I really enjoy the friends that I have made there.

Thanks for your interest in me....if ya wanna know more about me shoot me a PM i want to keep the ideas flowing on this thread. I didn't make this thread for me I made it so people can share ideas and so I could try and help people decide what TRULY motivates them.

:idea:

Dave, you cannot send or receive PMs until you have met the 20 day criteria.

Sorry, but I think you are too new here for PMs. You need 30 posts and 30 days. :)

Edited: Thanks Ruth! It's 20 days.

Congratulations on your weight loss! How tall are you, by the way? I'm wondering about your BMI.

The reason I asked about you is that sometimes people join 3FC because they are on some kind of "mission" to "save" the overweight. They have lost weight successfully and now think that others should do the same as they did. Others may be trying to promote their own counseling or coaching services.

Please don't misunderstand--I'm not accusing you. But do keep in mind that many people here are doing fine with their programs even though they may slip up from time to time. Don't let your posts become a sermon on weight loss... ;)

In the interests of disclosure, I lost 50 pounds three years ago by counting calories. Keeping the weight off has been a bigger challenge for me than losing it initially. I think I know about everything there is to know about motivation, commitment, and discipline. In the end it comes down to choice: What do I choose to do on any given day?

Cheers!
Jay

I think plain old habits that I developed have helped me. But it did take persistence and slowly chipping away at replacing lots of bad habits. Not to mention working on the mental part of it, not reaching for food for emotional or other non-hunger reasons. The ballgame has changed over time too, as my life has changed. I see it as a process, weight loss. For me, at least. I do think other people experience it differently.

I agree that finding a plan that suits my personality and lifestyle so I don't feel like I'm super deprived or really struggling makes it easier too.

You know, whatever tool in the toolbox that's needed in moment and works is good.

The only drama I see is the amazing accomplishments of the successful dieters on these forums.

Argument is the best part of the human condition. Essentially it is what separates us from orangutans and what has allowed our brains to evolve until we could create civilizations and governments. And governments, like the human race, also do not function without simultaneous argument.

Personally I become very nervous around those who have no opinion or ability for critical thought. Historically speaking, that his how dictators are born.

I still think that that 'motivation' and 'commitment' and 'just doing it' are probably all 3 the same thing but there are nuances of meaning for some of us.
Motivation has emotional links for me that I can't always rise to.
Commitment for me has nothing high falutin' about it, just getting on with getting on.

I don't actually need someone I haven't met before poking 'helpful' things into my pond to try and save me - so I welcome JayEll's post for articulating what I could not. Other than that, I love to read people's passion about What Works For Them: we can all of us only post that with total authority; and if our health is important to us, we should dmn well be passionate about it!

Thanks Jay - well said. That's why I asked him a question. Pontificating is not the same as sharing.

Rosinante - absolutely agree. It was implied that you will fail unless you have "found" THE one good, true, pure, key (your choice of superlative) motivation. Bah.

My motivations (I have several) have varying degrees of positive and negative, strong and weak according to my world and what is happening in it.

Great point
 

Great point Jay it does come down to a choice everyday....wasn't trying to preach at all just wanted to share what worked for me :) I just like to get people thinking...

Not trying to save anyone here just trying to open up creative discussion on an issue that is near and dear to me that I struggled with for a very long time. I'm not saying motivation is it for everyone of you, just saying it helps EVERYONE. And, honestly it's really good to open up a discussion on what people think is the number one factor for them. It opens up stories.

Not trying to preach at all here and don't want it to come off that way....only reason I brought up specifics of what I did is because I was explicitly asked to do so :)