3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

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-   -   Biggest Factor In Dieting (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/100-lb-club/220704-biggest-factor-dieting.html)

shannonmb 12-31-2010 08:42 AM

Really great stuff in this thread, thanks for starting it, Dave! And :welcome3:!!

I think if sustainable weight loss were a matter of motivation, there wouldn't be very many fat people. Just about everyone is SUPER motivated at one point or another to really get the weight off. I also read that article Lottie was talking about (I think it was Matt's story), about how even motivation from serious health scares isn't enough to keep most people going on a path to real lifestyle change. And I agree with Shmead when she more or less said that just believing the statement "all you need is motivation" has resulted in a lot of us feeling like lazy, worthless, disgusting, and hopeless people at some point. Geez, all you need is motivation and I can't even manage that? Why should I not be sufficiently motivated? -- I weigh 350 lbs, my legs are swollen unrecognizably, my doctor is talking blood pressure meds, I am GOING to die young, I have a 10 year old daughter who needs her mother, etc, etc.

Yes, those things indeed motivated me to get started. I do agree that motivation is key in those first few weeks when really starting to make changes. But MORE important for me to keep going has been some of what the others are talking about -- kaplods and her talk of biochemical processes speaks to me -- I am coming to understand what makes my body tick, what causes cravings, what leaves me sluggish, what does and doesn't work for me. And now it's really becoming about what Nola said -- inertia (Nola, your posts lately have been outstanding!!). Yes, I do check in with my motivation every now and then. But, I have done all the work to get habits changing, to take inventory of what does and doesn't work for me, to set myself up for success. I'm aware it's a very fluid process, and that more tweaking and mind-set changing are going to have to happen as I go along.

Motivation is probably the first step. But it's been just that for me, the first step. Once that fleeting, temporary emotion is acknowledged, then the WORK can begin.

twinmommaplusone 12-31-2010 10:28 AM

Seriously debating what the guy said? LOL- Wow, sometimes I can never understand this place, so dramatic.

ubergirl 12-31-2010 10:36 AM

I have to say that almost 110 lbs and 18 months ago, I posted a thread about motivation, and a bunch of 3FCers chimed in and talked about commitment, and for some reason it struck a chord with me. Sometimes I think that was one of the pivotal moments in my journey-- something clicked. At the time, I was highly motivated, and I was not sure I could see the difference.

But now, I'm with Shmead. For the long haul, routine, habit, and practice made all the difference. While motivation got me started, commitment was there with me for the long haul.

Nola Celeste 12-31-2010 10:44 AM

I see it more as discussing than debating. :) I find it fun to think about why this is working for me when stuff I did three years ago didn't, or why X works for this person while Y works for that one.

DietRightDave 12-31-2010 10:49 AM

LOVING THE THREAD AND THE STORIES THANKS FOR SHARING EVERYONE

I like to start helpful and somewhat controversial threads because it brings out everyones views :)

I'm glad everyone is sharing what helps them succeed. It's important to take success and break it down to what helps you succeed and keep that all around you and in your life in every aspect that you can. Whatever it takes to succeed is what you have to do. Some have said that they use discipline and many other factors to keep moving and push forward towards success.

No matter what factor helps you the most.....keep it in your heart and always in your conscious mind. Try your hardest and stay motivated and keep to your commitments. You will succeed. Just believe in yourself and keep at it. I am a firm believer that if you keep at it and give it your all you will succeed....not just in diet, but in every aspect of life. Just work harder than everyone else, stay motivated, stay commitment, and stay true and you will succeed.

Thanks for all the great ideas on how to stay successful, I'm blessed with the interaction that we have here and I hope everyone stays on track, and keeps the ideas flowing like water on this post.

DixC Chix 12-31-2010 11:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RoseRodent (Post 3625361)
On days you don't feel like it, don't have motivation, don't have commitment, fall back on your routine. Eat that way because it's just what you do. Go to the gym because it's Thursday and on a Thursday you go to the gym. If you rely on feeling like you want to do it each time you fall easily prey to reasons to quit.

I like this way of looking at it. Dealing with emotions like guilt for not sticking to my commitment or depression for losing the motivation make it ever so much more difficult for me. Its like I used my motivation to decide, my commitment to find the routine. Now that I have already decided that this is what I do, I do it without fighting/rationalizing with myself about it.

bargoo 12-31-2010 11:39 AM

Dave, you said it "Sticking with it " if that is motivation or committment to me it dosesn't matter just keep doing it and you will see results. PS you didn't start an argument,, just different folks giving their own thoughts.
If ever an argument starts the Mods will shut it down.

Shmead 12-31-2010 12:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by twinmommaplusone (Post 3625630)
Seriously debating what the guy said? LOL- Wow, sometimes I can never understand this place, so dramatic.

What is this board for if not cordially sharing thoughts on weight loss? I don't see anyone being aggressive or dramatic, unless having a different opinion is inherently dramatic.

twinmommaplusone 12-31-2010 01:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shmead (Post 3625780)
What is this board for if not cordially sharing thoughts on weight loss? I don't see anyone being aggressive or dramatic, unless having a different opinion is inherently dramatic.

:dizzy: I never said "aggresive" I said Dramatic. Say something simple, which is incredibly true for him and probably for many others and people gotta word play it. I have been a member of MANY sorts of forums in my adult life and this place has the most drama. bawhahahahahaha! :devil:

kaplods 12-31-2010 02:23 PM

I'm not sure what you mean by drama. The people who are disagreeing aren't saying "you're wrong," just "that hasn't been true for me, this has been my very different experience and I want to share it in case there are other people out there just like me who may not realize it."

What's so dramtic about that?

I don't think it's dramatic or word play to discuss topics in extreme depth - even to the smallest of details. It's very important to make a distinction between "true for me," and "true for everyone," especially when it comes to a task that so many people need and so few people accomplish. Misconceptions can mean the difference between success and failure, life and death (and I guess that is dramatic, but it should be).

There are so many misconceptions, myths, oversimplifications and ineffective traditions in weight loss, that the topic needs to be "discussed to death."

It's not overly dramatic or untrue to say that I wasted DECADES of effort because I channelled all of my energies into motivation, effort, and commitment instead of realizing other issues could be involved. It's not exageration to say that weight loss has been my life's work. I've put far, far more effort into it than I did either my bachelor's or master's degree in psychology (in fact my motivation for selecting the field was to understand myself especially in regard to weight loss).

I'm sure there are other people like the younger version of myself, who don't lack commitment, effort, or motivation, but are working harder and harder using ineffective strategies.

I'm also sure there are also people like my current self (or at least the self that started on this particular weight loss journey), who have almost no energy for drastic commitment, effort or motivation, who might think it's "hopeless" when it may not be. They may be able to put in almost no effort, and achieve almost no result (but almost no result is still a positive result). Knowing that "just a little bit of change" is still change, can get someone started even though they don't have much confidence in the outcome. Every little bit really can help.



What would saying nothing have accomplished, except sparing some "drama?" Instead everyone speaking their minds about what they personally found to be "the biggest factor" in their weight loss, means that everyone reading has an opportunity to hear a story that might resonate with them.

Everyone hears "you need drive/comittment, motivation, and effort." So it's truth isn't even debated. It's radical stuff to hear anything else, and the lack of other voices means people can spend years misdirecting their energies, thinking all they need is more of what they have plenty of - not even looking for what they need that they might be lacking.

So agreeing or keeping quiet helps no one, but sharing different experiences has the opportunity to help someone who doesn't know they also might be a little different.

Dramatic or not, I think it's vitally important for people to hear that someone (like myself) with low levels of commitment, motivation, and almost no ability or interest in hard work could still have some level of success. Because if I could have even this modest level of success, while flying in the face of conventional wisdom, that's important information to impart.

Drama? Maybe, but so essentially important. Knowledge is power - and in-depth, even to the level of nit-picking discussions and debates are a great source of that kind of power.

I'll take drama over ignorance any day.

Trazey34 12-31-2010 02:42 PM

meh, commitment & motivation are the same for me - i had large doses of BOTH every Monday morning of most of my adult life, nothing ever changed. Then i stared digging around in my head for reasons WHY i was fat ( there's a big difference between being 25 pounds overweight and being 150 pounds overweight) and dealt with those issues and the weight came off, almost as a second thought.

I liken it to mopping up tons of water from a overflowing sink - but without turning the tap off! Sure you get some of the water maybe all of it for a while, but that unrelenting faucet will never stop until you turn off that tap!!

Welcome aboard Dave, hope your way work for you -that's the important thing. What works for one never works for all, just find what saves you and embrace it :D

ps, hey twinmom I know what you mean about drama, but sometimes i think it's hard to 'get' the tone from text you know??? I've had my butt handed to me on more than one occasion believe me and went "HUH????" lol oh well, live and learn! still beats the meanie pms telling me to go away now that i'm near goal :(

twinmommaplusone 12-31-2010 03:47 PM

LOL- Kaplods, I couldnt even get past line one, that is whole lot stuff you wrote, over my own feelings, lol. See what I'm talking about? Why debate, let him have his feelings, let me have mine, let you have yours.
If the man said something and if you disagree or have a different perspective, thats fine but then why does everyone feel a need to point that out? so Dramatic!

Shmead 12-31-2010 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by twinmommaplusone (Post 3625985)
LOL- Kaplods, I couldnt even get past line one, that is whole lot stuff you wrote, over my own feelings, lol. See what I'm talking about? Why debate, let him have his feelings, let me have mine, let you have yours.
If the man said something and if you disagree or have a different perspective, thats fine but then why does everyone feel a need to point that out? so Dramatic!

I can't speak for Kaplods, but for me, it's because I learn from other people: I've gotten tons of good ideas in this forum, and from other people I've talked to in my life. If I had to make my way through life on only the ideas I came up with myself, with no input from anyone else, I would be about 15% of the person I am today.

I assume when someone posts on a public forum, they want other perspectives. If they just want to share their own ideas, they'd post in a blog.

twinmommaplusone 12-31-2010 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shmead (Post 3624675)
What is motivation? That's a serious question. If by "motivation" you mean that deep emotional enthusiasm for the task, then I am going to disagree. Motivation is like infatuation: it's great, but it never last for the long haul. Eventually, there are days where you are not motivated--days when you are depressed, tired, BUSY, stressed out, whatever.

It's like taking care of a baby. If you relied on motivation to get it done, there'd be a lot of hungry, wet babies out there. It takes something deeper, a feeling of obligation, of commitment, of "this is what I do now".

For me, the key to reaching that spot was through planning and routine and ritual. There are things I always do: I always weigh myself every morning and record the number. I always record my food and calories. I always plan ahead to know what I am eating the rest of the day (and often the rest of the week).

Why disagree with the man? Let him have his own view point, Jeesh.

Quote:

Originally Posted by seagirl (Post 3624708)
Disagree. Motivation comes and goes, commitment is what it takes. I'm not motivated at all today, but I'm committed so I'm following my plan.

I think relying on motivation is what causes people to cheat (on their plan, their spouse, etc) if they would remember their commitment they would stay on track.

And Another!

Quote:

Originally Posted by lottie63 (Post 3624801)
hmmmm. I see you're new here, just want to say welcome.

The commitment being what we need over motivation is a song sung a lot here, so you're kind of stepping into a snake pit with that one, just thought I'd let you know. ;)

Motivation though honestly, is fleeting, it might be what gets you started, but it's rarely what sees you through to the end
.



My real dad died of complications from diabetes in his 40's. That was a motivation for me. I still think of it when I feel like things are getting difficult, but studies have shown that motivation and fear and worries about health and all that, are not enough of a 'punishment' to see us through to goal. (Just read an article about that actually.)

It's just a matter of waking up, and doing what you know needs to be done, even on days when there is no motivation to speak of.

I'm glad you're so hung ho though, I assume you are a new years resolutioner. Welcome.

And Another............Get my Point people, Each one of you told him he was WRONG! I have a serious problem with that !

The End, I refuse to play into the drama, as I'm sured I caused some myself because I pointed it out, lol. Just sayin! I'm letting the man have his peace!

DixC Chix 12-31-2010 04:17 PM

I think I understand...I have to find the motivation to find the necessary commitment to have the good motivation to find the determination to have the true motivation to stay committed to finding the determination to have the key motivation. ;)

Just thought I'd lighten the mood. :D


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