It's getting weird here for me.
 

This is a good thing. I think it's a feeling we all aspire to at the beginning and relish in the end...maybe. Or maybe I just think too much.



When I first came here, I was 235 pounds and had 100 pounds to lose. So where did I turn? To the 100 pound club of course!! And I fit right in. It was great. Elsewhere on the board, I was jealous of posts where women in the 170's whined about needing to lose weight. I'd roll my eyes (to myself of course) and think, "You have no idea." Usually I'd then click out of that post. But here in this club, I never felt that way. I knew I could read any post without concern of getting my feelings hurt by women I considered tiny calling themselves horrible things.

Now I'm in the 170's, which I can't believe, by the way. I think one of the biggest lessons and blessings I will take away from this experience is that I feel blessed to be this healthy and it thrills me to slip into size 12's. That inner voice that never-been-obese people hear that tells them they are fat at 170 pounds is squelched...almost; mostly. That little voice that told my teenage self that size 12's were fat pants...gone.

I'm thrilled to be where I am, even though I have more to go. I just hope I don't come across as annoying right here in this very special place. The 170's was just an unreachable number for me. I was around 190 when my first son was born and started dieting myself right up to 235 from that moment on. The lowest I ever got from that point on was 185, and it wasn't truly 185 because my scale was a good 15 pounds off, so probably 200. More concretely, I got into a tight size 16 and now I'm in a comfortable 12.

In any case, you won't hear me calling myself fat here or anywhere else! I no longer consider myself fat. Now, I still have fat!! :D But to me there's a HUGE distinction between being fat and having fat. Maybe I do just think too much. :^:

Eliana ~ I don't think you come across as annoying at all. I totally understand the eye-rolling comment as well. You have done an amazing job and I think it's wonderful that you can appreciate your accomplishments and enjoy them. I look forward to the day where I no longer consider myself fat (even though I may still "have fat").

Keep up the good work . . . you inspire me! :)

Are you kidding?! You're one of us. You've walked in our shoes. You get it. We celebrate and are very happy for you! And, you give us hope.

I think it is wonderful that you are accepting yourself, and are not going to "whine" about weighing 170! I would kill to be 170, which by the way puts me in a size 10 or 12 too!

Congratulations to you for everything!

I feel ya- I usually just close the posts.

I once saw a post- and this person talked on and on about how they had never been so big in their life, how they now had three children, how they had to get back into shape, etc. And I thought wow this person seems so sad- then I looked- they only needed to lose like 15 lbs- I was like omg are you serious? lol. Then I just closed it like really it's 15 lbs!

The challenges of those that have over 100 lbs to lose are different than those who have less. I would also say the challenges of those who have lost 100 lbs or more are also different than those that have less. I have less than 100 lbs to lose but you won't get rid of me :)

Funny you and I have landed in the same place mentally at the same weight. I now feel like I look like a "normal" person who just needs to lose a few pounds rather than fat.

Eliana, are you trying to break up with us?!?!?! :( ;)

That's wonderful and I truly feel happy for you. I'm starting at 250 so to get down to 170 lbs would be a major accomplishment for me. Congratulations on your achievement!

But I do agree with nelie. When we have so much to lose, it's easy to dismiss people who have 15-20 lbs to lose. It's easy to compare them with ourselves and think, "Seriously? You're complaining about having to lose 20 lbs only while I've lost so much more to get down to where you currently are?" Their struggles and our struggles are indeed different and that doesn't mean their struggle isn't as significant as ours. For them this is the highest they've ever been.

I think you better stick around...I need a big old kick in the a**. We started (well, I re-started in Dec of 09) about the same time and you've lost almost triple the weight I have. Ack!

I guess my 'planned-off plan' days and loosey goosey with the plan when I do stick to it just isn't cutting it!

People like YOU and Uber and Rocking Robin' and CFMama, that have lost the weight or are still losing and being sooo SUCCESSFUL keep me coming back every day!

Eliana I just hope you don't ever tire of us...and you always feel at home in the 100 lb club!

Girlie, stick around :) I go look around in other parts of the board but I feel most comfortable here!

I need a like button on this site!

I have been calling myself "Texas normal" lately: on the coasts, or overseas, or in Colorado, I'd be fat, but here in TX I can pass for normal.

I forget how far I have come--I read about women hitting Onderland and I am jealous--I'll think "Man, I wish I was in the 190s!" and then I remember that I'm less than that now.

Ah, another "you guys get it" moment. :D

I know people with 100+ to lose and people with 15-20 to lose have entirely different mentalities about this and everyone's feelings are valid, regardless. And that is, of course, why having "the club" is such a wonderful thing. We can talk about most anything without fear of getting hurt feelings. I've noticed everyone around here is really careful about the wording of certain feelings, topics, etc. It's just that hearing someone I think is small or where I want to be call themselves "fat" or worse, it's hard to read.

I'm glad I can be happy at this weight because I know a lot of women at my height/weight would not consider themselves in a good place. The fact that I can look at myself in the mirror and actually smile...it's been so long!! I actually turn away from my reflection before I can over critique it, because I darn well could! But I'm happy being happy.

Eliana you are doing so Great! You are an Inspiration to me. I just need to do better with planning and feeling sorry for myself.

Eliana: are you the one doing the biggest loser style workouts this summer? If so, hows it going? Still got stamina?

Congrats on your loss! I know I will be feeling the way you do someday (way off in the distance). lol

You've done so well! I do hope you'll stick around! I plan to, even after goal. Matter of fact, that's one of my long term goals! Stick around 3FC and continue to post to 1- help maintain and 2- NEVER forget where I came from while encouraging others that it IS possible.

You're an inspiration for so many.

Now, on the other issue... I can totally relate to reading some posts and feeling frustration towards people who never have been obese (lets be honest here, there is a HUGE difference between "oh, I'm fat and could stand to lose a few" and "omg- if I sit there I may break this chair, or how will I ever get back up?!") :hug:

To remain a member in good standing, no matter what your weight, all you have to do, Eliana, is occasionally show us your scars. You know, the tiny little scars left by the constant small personal humiliations one experiences when one is fat & is made to feel ungainly & out of place. And we'll recognize you for one of our own. Having been fat changes a person. It gives us a dual perspective on life that the naturally thin don't have. We can report back on both sides.

I think our posts can be kind of like very old New England graveyard poetry for those reading them:

Reader, pause as you pass by
As you are now, so once was I;
As I am now, so shall ye be.

I'm making that poetry a lot more upbeat than the original, but what I'm saying is there ought to be a moment of self-recognition that goes both ways for the fat & the formerly fat.

Don't leave us! Many folks at goal/maintianing/close to their goal post here regularly. You know how we feel...and we know how you have suceeded at what we are working for. It is helpful for everyone.

You are doing GREAT!

Oh gosh, dopey me, never even felt that I would not be *welcome* here. Oy.

Although I will say, there are certain things I post strictly on the Maintainer's forum as I believe they may be more appropriate there.

I agree with Nelie though, there ARE different issues with those that need to lose over 100 lbs and those that have LOST over 100 lbs.

Well, I'm sorry, you folks are just stuck with me. But by all means, feel free to skip my posts. Really. :)

I love this forum; it's still my favorite.

Please don't ever think you're unwelcome here. I've been on this forum off and on for over ten years... and it's this last time that I've noticed the great number of "formerly fat" members who stay around to encourage us and to keep themselves on the straight and narrow.

It's a huge change from even five years ago here. It makes this struggle seem almost-dare-I-say-it... "do-able"!

I can't thank you enough for your posts -- the good, the bad, the frustrated, the revelations, the crowing, the sobbing. You, and all the women who post here, whether just starting (again!), ten pounds down, 100 pounds down, or maintaining, make this forum the amazing support network it is.

Never forget it!

Ha! As if. Silly girl. ;)

I'm not going anywhere. :D I'm just musing and discussing that little issue that we all understand so well...about how awkward it can be to lose weight and the thought processes we go through and the many changes, mental and physical. It's weird switching sides. :rofl:

Yep, that's me! :D And today was no exception. I put in two and half hours at the gym this morning, went swimming with my boys this afternoon, and took a one hour spin cycle class with my husband this evening. :dizzy: And I feel great!! LOL! I've gotten used to it. It was rough going at the start. AND half way through the month I've already lost six pounds, when here lately I've been averaging four per month. I'm pretty happy with my rate right now.