First, let me say that I am so grateful that you are all still here just I remembered: all of you just as full of wisdom and optimism as I remember. So, thanks for that!!

Problem is, my weight is the same too! I guess on the bright side I haven't gained, but if I had stuck to my resolve I would have (should have) been at goal by now. What's wrong with me?

My determination is always so strong in the beginning. I'm always so sure that this time is the time I will really, really, really do it. And then, as always, here I am, ready to start again.

I guess I am asking how do I make sure this really is the time? (Also, now that it's hot, I've got those horrible little sores under my tummy fat. Last summer I was sure I wouldn't have that problem again).

What to do? How to deal with my biggest pitfall - nighttime eating? And breakfast eating? And eating in general?

OK, this really is the time. My daughter is graduating mid-June, and my ex will be there, and I want to be at least a little thinner. I know I'm doing it for myself, but really, it would feel so good

Pick one meal. Perhaps breakfast. Change it, starting today--change it into a meal that is rich in protein and high in fiber, and which doesn't have any simple carbs in it. (Perhaps eggs and whole wheat toast; or plain yogurt and blueberries.) Eat that breakfast every single day for a week. Keep on eating that breakfast even if the entire day before, you were "bad." Just focus on changing this one habit.

Then pick another meal and change it.

Keep going until you have transformed your entire eating plan.

First of all welcome back!

I really can relate to how you are feeling. I did great for months and months and slowly stopped putting as much effort into it. Although I've not gained, I am nowhere near where I should have been by this time.

For me, I'm starting with one meal at a time, and one day at a time, and really focusing on what I need to do to succeed with this. I've starting checking back here again, as I was not around for quite a while. I think this helps a lot!

Do you have hobbies that you can keep yourself busy with at night? Maybe this would be a good time for a walk or fitting exercise in?

Write down some goals for yourself (doesn't necessarily have to be scale and numbers) and make a plan to work towards.

If you truly commit you can make it happen. You can do this!

I just came back today too.. I wish I could say that I didn't gain while I was "lost", but sadly since I fell off the wagon in Nov. I have gained back 43 of the 44 pounds I had lost in a 16 week time span .. so you did a great job maintaining while you weren't on plan!

I hear so many say that they are successful because they plan their meals ahead of time. That isn't something that works for me. I have this problem if I'm told I have to do something specific.. I will do everything I can to not do it. This happens even when it's something I tell myself to do! Crazy right? Well I figure I have X amount of calories to eat a day, I split them up and eat Y amount at this time, Z amount at that one. I try to allow myself some elbow room with my calorie allowences for each meal and snack. The one thing I have to force myself to do is put every calorie I eat into fitday and to be honest about it.

Instead of seeing it as a collection of little journeys, think of it as one long journey. All of your starts and stops are part of this journey - they are all part of the process of evaluating what works and what doesn't. There is no "starting over" again. It's the same trip. Just put one foot in front of the other and take one choice at a time.

Some of the things that have helped me the last few months are:

(1) Refusing to make any change that I can't forsee as permanent.
My weight loss goals are permanent, so the changes must be also. I will only change the things I can commit to. The small changes really add up!

(2) Refusing to eat foods I don't like.
There are so many healthy foods out there that there is no need to eat "rabbit food." I love strawberries and yogurt. Switching that for potato chips - easy peasy!

(3) Finding a fitness routine that works with my life.
I accepted that I will NEVER wake up at 5 am to workout and that I won't use the equipment in the basement and that I won't go to the gym. (Ironically, 5 months later I want to start going to the gym. I like riding my stationary bike in the living room, but I want to do more strength training.)

(4) Striving to make every choice I make, the one that leads me to my goals - one choice at a time.
I had a tendency to "save up" my points or calories which only led to binging and disaster.

(5) Beating the waiting game.
The time is going to pass regardless of whether I am making good choices or not. Am I going to be thinner one year from now? No more short term goals - just long term thinking.

These are probably the 5 biggest things that have helped me, but you'll find your own top 5 in your journey! Good luck!

BeachBreeze,
I really got a lot out of your top 5. I especially like number 1 and 5. Great thoughts!
FindingFawn,
You are not alone in "falling off the wagon." I think most of us relapse into our bad eating habits at least some of the time. It is hard to learn healthy new ways of eating! If it wasn't, all of us would be slim! So you have good company, so stay with 3FC this time around.

I agree with everything Beachbreeze said, esp. number 5.

The other thing I would add is don't stop posting here!! I was having a rough month last month for a variety of reasons, but I kept posting here, including on the daily weigh in thread. It was definitely not fun to keep posting a higher weight so many times, but I really think that was part of what helped me decide I was going to stop and turn things around instead of YET AGAIN putting back weight I had worked so hard to lose. Without that accountability to myself, I probably would have stopped weighing and gone back to old eating habits and put back everything I had gained!

So stick around - we are here to support you when it's tough and cheer on your victories!

Thank you all, so much!! WarMaiden, I like your tip about one change at a time. Particularly breakfast, which for me definitely sets the tone of my day. Ruby, thanks for the idea to beat my nighttime eating. Yes, I used to love needlepoint. Time to start it up again! Fawn, thanks for letting me know you just came back too. I do the same weird thing you mentioned: I do the exact opposite of what I know I should do. Why??? I am also trying to count calories. BeachBreeze - Such wisdom! I have a question for you - Number 4 - I have tried to be so present in every moment that each choice I make would lead to my goal. Sometimes I succeed, mostly I don't. How do you do it? Cglass & Peanuts, thank you for letting me know you've been where I am and that I have support. I can't tell you all what you mean to me.

Thank you!!!!!

What I meant by #4 was that I don't allow for "off times" so much. I tried WW, but it was a disaster because i found myself looking up points for junk and then just not eating the rest of the day. That isn't a good plan. Of course it backfires and I go back to my old eating habits.

I needed something where every meal, every bite, every activity choice counted. My mantra is - "Will this choice get me where I want to be?" If you ask that question and the answer is no, and you do it anyway, evaluate why you make that choice. Think about what it is that you really want. I think its a sign that you need to do some mental "work." Why do you want to lose weight? What will losing weight do for you? What does being overweight do for you? Are you willing to let those things go? Can you accept yourself as a thin person? Can you let yourself be successful? And on and on. I began my journey with a few months of therapy to evaluate these things and some others as well. I had to get my head on straight first. Now, I have answers to a lot of those questions and I feel secure in my body and my abilities and feel safe as a thin person (when that happens). Self-sabatoge, to me, says, the answers are within you. Please spend some time inward and seek help if you need it.

Honestly, now its less about being present and more about habits. But, there are times when I face a craving or want to fall back to bad habits of eating junk without thinking. I interject with my go-to phrase and ask the mantra question. Then I think about all of the progress I have made (more mental progress than weight loss progress) and I feel more confident in my ability to say no to the food. 99% of the time, I do say no. On the off chance I don't - I go back to self-evaluation. Why did I do that? It's a learning process. No discipline or new "rules" allowed. I used to give myself punishments for eating off track. But that violates the rule, too. Each choice has to get me to my goal and be a sustainable change I am willing to make.

Hi and welcome back!!!

I could have written that post -- soooo many times I convinced myself "this is it" and committed to it whole hog only to crash a few days later. I know a lot of people say "just commit to it" well, blah blah blah LOL coulda woulda shoulda you know?

I changed one thing, one small thing. I started to eat breakfast where I never did before. Then I started writing down all the food I ate, good bad and ugly, and the calories. Shocked to find I was eating 4000 cals plus some days! A few sustainable changes over time can make a huge difference. For me it was changing that horrible mindself of "all or nothing" I either ate lettuce or else I ate like a starving wolverine LOL there IS a happy medium!!

you'll find your way! stick around, there's lots of info around here, take what you need from each person, as one size never fits all !!!

This was precisely why WW did not work for me. It gave me too much flexability.

with calorie counting i get that too, but I added on the if it isn't real food, why would I want to nourish my body with it. The majority of the day I try very hard to make sure I can identify what the food once was in its previous life. A donut bares no resembalence to the wheat and sugar cane it once came from. a Banana on the other hand... does. The one exception I give myself are the smart ones meals, it is the easiest way for me to keep myself on track while I am at work. Portions are also extremely important... I think it is called the healthy plate (divide your plate in half, then one half divide in half again... in the big section goes your veggies, in the two smaller sections goes your protien and carbs). I go to Sam's and get a big tub of spring greens and some tomatoes, cucumbers, onion and bell pepper cut up all the veggies and put them in bags, then when you want to make a salad... there is no prep time, just grab a handful of what ever you want in it. I have also fallen completely in love with balsamic vinegar as a salad dressing... almost no calories and it packs a huge punch of flavor!!!!!

It is just a matter of deciding that you are going to do it and I think we all know what is good food and what is cr@p food. I decided to eat good food, and it took about 2 - 3 weeks for me to really get used to it. Also, decide you are worth planning for. Take the extra 10 minutes in the morning getting things together for the day. I will put together a salad, weigh out some nuts for a snack, grab a peice of fruit and some yogurt... trow in a bottle of water and maybe a diet Sunkist (although I am getting a collection of these at work because I don't drink them much anymore). I will also make sure I have a lean meat thawing so that when I get home I can make a healthy meal for my family. And on days I just don't have it in me... I send the hubby to subway

It can be done... you just have to decide to do it. Decide you are worth it (which, by the way, you are).

This was my biggest questions when I set out this time. How can I make this my last attempt...the one that finally sticks? And before I could start, I just had to answer that question.

The answer for me has been committing to a plan for one year, no matter what. My biggest enemy is the scale. When it doesn't move, I quit. So this time, no mater what that scale says, I am doing this for one year. My body stalls ALOT. Alot, alot, alot! My personal trainer just told my husband today that it's different for everyone but some people drop weight like crazy but few inches, and then somewhere along the journey it flips. I'm waiting for the flip!! LOL! But see, it doesn't matter. I'm giving it one year, period.

My first day here I read the quote, "A year from now, you'll be glad you started today."

I don't do well planning way ahead. I pull my meals together on a day by day basis. My body looses better with protien and few carbs. So I give it what works. I workout a lot because I like it. I calorie count because it works for me. If I want something I have it and put it in my calorie budget. Being restricted to this and not that, sucked so it didn't work for me. Working on my thinking was mandatory because as a man thinks so is he. I had resolved myself to thinking I was just going to be fat...I even told my husband at my highest weight, "honey this is what it is, I won't be losing weight." He said "ok". I had a moment of clarity on Christmas Day 09 and made changes Jan 3, 2010. Four months later and lots of love and support from people on this site, I'm down almost four sizes. You have to take a hard look at you, all of you not just your physical self and evaluate where you quit and work on that first. That has made all the difference for me. When you know your weakness then find someone that is strong in that area and make a connection. Even if it's on this site.

You can do this and this time is your time!!

Welcome back - great first step in wanting to make the change. Lots of great ideas have been mentioned already. My 2cents - don't feel like you have failed or given up - road bumps happen to all of us - just dust yourself on and get back into it. Figure out those questions you want answers to but looking at what you are eating and why. Why do you feel you need to have what you had for breakfast and what is a better option.

Most importantly get moving again. Hang in there - it will happen!!

Right now I am just sitting here crying. I just feel so grateful for the wisdom, support, and encouragement.

You've all given me a lot to absorb. Mainly, it really is not just a physical change that needs to be made.

I'm going to go think. And cry. Why do I need to cry? I guess thinking about losing weight (and today I haven't yet stuffed whatever feelings with food) is releasing some tears.

Thank you all for sharing yourselves with me.