3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

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-   -   Why does it make other people (average size people) uncomfy when I say I'm fat? (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/100-lb-club/189005-why-does-make-other-people-average-size-people-uncomfy-when-i-say-im-fat.html)

raebeaR 12-29-2009 08:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by saef (Post 3063802)
Okay, I'll admit here that I kind of like "stout," because it sounds a little retro. I've rarely heard anyone below a certain age use that as an adjective. It makes me think of a Helen Hokinson cartoon in the New Yorker. But it's definitely more jocular than "fat."

"Fat" sounds very "reclaimed" and in your face. Which, to me, is a good way to sound. :D

LOLOL, saef, I love the way you write -- your posts always crack me up! :D

I know just what you mean about 'stout'... feel like I'm reading a Bertie Wooster story.

I don't mind 'fat,', and I'll take comfortably-padded, Raphaelean, voluptuous, curvy, cherubic or lush.... but please, leave obese out of it!!!

katkitten 12-29-2009 08:54 PM

oh! i cannot stand "thick". before I put my myspace on private I would get so many icky come ons from men! They would often use that word as in "I like thick girls,digg?" if theydve said "curvy" girls it wouldnt have given me so much ick factor but "thick" makes me feel like a piece of meat.

JulieJ08 12-29-2009 09:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by katkitten (Post 3063832)
isnt it interesting that we hate obese when that is supposed to be the more medical/less pejorative word?

I think it's the difference between describing one's health and medical status, and describing one's appearance and attractiveness.

kaplods 12-29-2009 09:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by katkitten (Post 3063832)
isnt it interesting that we hate obese when that is supposed to be the more medical/less pejorative word?

I really don't mind fat or obese - or even morbidly obese (though the morbid part is a bit "in your face.")

I've seen "super" replace "morbid" on some medical websites, and even distignuish between super obese and super, super obese. I guess that might be an improvement. I'm not sure though, super has other connotations that I'm not sure really belong.

I just imagine that being super obese - I should be wearing a cape and spandex.

katkitten 12-29-2009 09:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kaplods (Post 3063898)
I just imagine that being super obese - I should be wearing a cape and spandex.

:lol:

CanadianCutie 12-29-2009 09:52 PM

LOL kaplods. Super Obese, hmmmmm a good superhero name could be Captain Flab.

Lucky Charm 12-29-2009 10:09 PM

I was seriously wondering if I should bring up a question like this... I absolutely hate it. So many people around me do that. Example: I'd jokingly say maybe I should opt for a lower fat Subway sandwich than one with a lot of calories and I'd get the angry, "Tsk! You're not fat!"

Another example. There used to be a girl at my workplace and while I wouldn't call her my friend, we were on good terms. Anyway, there's a girl at the workplace that she doesn't like. And she's about a size 10 or 12. Not fat in any way, in my opinion. So the catty first girl (who is probably a size 2 or 4) kept calling her fat in a nasty way. I said, "If you think she's fat then I wonder what you think of me!" And she goes, "Oh noooooo, you're not fat at all!"

Honestly. Some people. I really don't want people to think I'd be offended if I were called fat. Or that I'm fishing for compliments, wanting someone to just tell me, "Oh, you're not fat at all!" It really doesn't bother me. I'm just stating a fact.

Eliana 12-29-2009 10:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thistoo (Post 3063833)
Then again, she also insists I can't possibly lose 40 more pounds, so who knows. People are weird.

People tell me that too. They're appalled when I say I want to lose 100 lbs or that I have 75 more to go. I think they mean well, but I just keep thinking, do you know the number on my scale? Trust me. I'm short. I can afford to lose the weight. My goal of 135 is nowhere near unrealistic for my height.

Momto2Ms 12-30-2009 10:30 AM

I think that fat is such an emotionally charged word for so many people, myself included. I am having a difficult time in my head articulating how I feel about it, but it will always be a "bad" word for me.

I am an oddball, but I would prefer to be referred to as obese because no one has ever used that in a hurtful way against me.

Mikayla 12-30-2009 11:02 AM

3 days after I started dieting I went to a huge Valentine's Day party. I turned down almost all the food that was offered to me and people kept asking why...well the 100th time someone asked me why i wasn't eating the unhealthy food I told her I was dieting...nd then she asked why again. I answered "Cause I'm really fat." The entire room got silent and the girl I was talking to laughed uncomfortably and slinked away. I still laugh about it now, I honestly have no idea why it made her so uncomfortable, I was huge it was not a secret and saying I'm dieting wasn't enough.

lottie63 12-30-2009 11:06 AM

omg. I totally agree.

I recently said at work something about blahblah, too fat for that and the guy looked HORRIFIED. he also looked embarassed for me, which I thought was far more rude than me saying I was fat.

a not so fat girl was once working at lane bryant and I said, jokingly, "Oh man you guys don't have my size in jeans, looks like all the fat girls got here before me." *Enter look of horror on cashiers face*

hahaha! So ridiculous. It's just a word, it's all in how you use it.

and I always say I'm too fat for the backseat btw. :P I am. getting in and out is just awful.

saef 12-30-2009 11:32 AM

Are you actually **allowed** to say "fat" in Lane Bryant?

[Trying to imagine the size coding peculiar to said store being changed to "Like, Really Fat," "Overweight," "Obese," "Super Obese," etc.]

From the evidence offered in this thread, "fat" seems to be going the way of all the nasty racial slurs of the past.

And yeah, "thick" does sound like a piece of steak (like it ought to be followed by "juicy"), but because I am a really death-pale white girl who lives in a relatively white, suburban world, I don't hear it much, and I find it exotic. But that whole group of men who like fat women seem so kinky to me. They must be like the guys turned on by "plushies." (Who knew???)

Shout out to raeBear: I'm happy to make the palindrome member laugh!

JulieJ08 12-30-2009 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lottie63 (Post 3064654)
a not so fat girl was once working at lane bryant and I said, jokingly, "Oh man you guys don't have my size in jeans, looks like all the fat girls got here before me." *Enter look of horror on cashiers face*

Sounds like fun and games ;) Although, at least these people care about your feelings, vs. the encounters described in other threads of people just being nasty.

Aclai4067 12-30-2009 12:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lucky Charm (Post 3063961)
Another example. There used to be a girl at my workplace and while I wouldn't call her my friend, we were on good terms. Anyway, there's a girl at the workplace that she doesn't like. And she's about a size 10 or 12. Not fat in any way, in my opinion. So the catty first girl (who is probably a size 2 or 4) kept calling her fat in a nasty way. I said, "If you think she's fat then I wonder what you think of me!" And she goes, "Oh noooooo, you're not fat at all!"

Ha. This makes me think of a guy I knew in high school talking about a girl's gross cellulite thighs and I was like "Um, my gross cellulite thighs are twice the size of hers." His response was "yeah but you're cool so it's okay." What?

ubergirl 12-30-2009 12:42 PM

It took me a REALLY long time to ever be able to call myself fat or talk about fatness outloud, but before I started my weight loss journey, I had gotten to the point where I could joke around about my fat and feel comfortable with it. And if anyone gave me the "you're not fat" comment, I would just laugh and grab a roll.

But one interesting thing I've found is that I used to get paralyzed with shame whenever anyone started talking about dieting or weight loss or calorie counting or working out. I HATED it when people talked like that, (or when skinny girls said they needed to lose ten pounds...)

But weirdly enough, now I don't mind. I jump into conversations with the skinny girls about gyms and calories, and where I used to feel that those conversations were judging me, now I feel like the conversations are supportive. And the only thing that has changed is my mindset.

And I find that my thin and fit friends are really supportive about my weight loss, always noticing and complimenting me, whereas my heavier friends sometimes get "that look". And I know where they are coming from-- they think I'm judging them for eating crap while I'm "being a saint..." Which is odd, because I'm not judging them. I know exactly what it feels like to be the fat girl helping herself to more cake. So I feel compassion.

I dunno.

Anyway, I'm with Saef, and I often employ stout, love the word FAT and absolutely despise "fluffy" as though those fat cells felt like down pillows-- NOT!


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