Fruit!
Delicious fruit with it's natural sugar, but also made mostly of water with fiber and vitamins.
Watermelons, oranges, strawberries, bananas, apples, blackberries, blueberries, cantaloupe - with just a spoonful of peanut butter or cinnamon or dark chocolate if you really want, but it's not necessary.
You're not pathetic. Sugar is habit forming in the same way cigarettes are. I had to cut sugar (other than fruits) out of my diet completely, but it's up to you to determine to what extent you can avoid it.