I actually don't have a big issue with junk food in the house, for the most part (though I don't keep it around much either ... why would I?)

I do have a difficult time ordering a plate at a restaurant and only eating X percent of it. This despite the fact that I would have no problem portioning X amount onto my plate at home without wanting to go back to the stove for more!

So I go out to eat less, and when I do it's with as much planning as possible.

And I do well picking and choosing at a buffet -- others here have said the opposite, a plate is preferable.

We all have some limitation or another. I have a bunch of other ones that may be kind of weird. Point is ... You are a success because you are honest with yourself about your limitations. Denial does no good here.

So many good comparisions, but Kaploid's infidelity example took the words right outta my keyboard -- because frankly I have seen so many people brag about their trust and lack of relationship boundaries, only for it to end in, er, failure.

Originally Posted by kaplods:
I think we need to remember that your friend voiced what many of us have thought at one time or another, and in fact largely what we're taught to expect. It's still very, very common for people to believe that they will be able to eat whatever they want again when they reach their goal weight (which why so many people regain it).

I also think a LOT of the problem lies in the fact that I was always told I had to figure out, solve and resolve my issues with food BEFORE successful, long term weight loss could occur. I was led to believe that if I didn't work out my issues that I'd never mind, NOT get the all the weight off - but that I would surely gain it all back. Plus more. Immediately. If not sooner. So why bother?

Well, I pretty much identified some of the issues - carbs and sugar made me crazy. I ate when I wasn't hungry - used food for enjoyment, depression, sadness, anger, annoyance and every other emotion under the sun. Didn't have a turn off switch. Yada, yada, yada. The resolving part - that was another story. So instead of working on resolving these issues - I worked on ways to get around these issues. I started counting my calories instead of leaving them up in the air, I set up boundaries, made rules and food laws for myself to follow, lots of definite NO's and only in certain circumstances, basically incorporated HEALTHY habits into my life - set myself up for success - in spite of my issues.

I really wish I'd hear more of - "You don't HAVE to have everything figured out when you first start". Look for, delve & seek out ways around your obstacles. Don't throw needless temptation in your face. FIND ways to make this easier.

Robin - you'd advocate working on those issues in tandem tho right?? not just find ways around them? I know I've done a lot of work in that area, but you're right - i didn't WAIT til I had it all figured out before i put the fork down LOL . I do think that dealing with feelings and staring yourself in the face and say WHY are you doing that is a good thing, a necessary thing. It sucks kinda lol, but worth it.

It's canada day and my visitors are a bit late :( wahhhh

Originally Posted by Trazey34:
Robin - you'd advocate working on those issues in tandem tho right??

Nah. Who needs to work on shoveling food in their mouths the first time a little tension surfaces ;)? Kidding.

Once I started counting my calories, which was one way I thought of to deal with the obstacle of my overeating, THAT put the brakes on turning to food for every little good, bad or indifferent incident that occurred in my life. So by adding in that one thing - the calorie counting - I was forced to find other ways to DEAL with those emotions and soothe myself, hence working on those "issues" in tandem.

I don't have time to read all the responses because I have to get ready for work but I wanted to add my 2 cents.

I think that yes, you are a success. You've lost weight and that was the goal right? True, you may not be able to handle ice cream in the house but that doesn't make you a failure.

She does make an interesting point though and I don't think she was doing it because she's jealous or spiteful or anything like that. I think it's just a different way of looking at things. Everyone approaches situations in life differently. When losing weight some people are little by little, other people are all or nothing, people have all kinds of preconceived notions about how they're going to do things and how it's going to work for them and how they're going to end up. People view success (and the whole journey) differently and I think that's all it comes down to.

All my friends (since we were kids) are naturally skinny. All of them eat/act differently. One runs around like crazy (always has), barely eats through the day and has a huge dinner (not a binge, just big dinner) she has no food issues, and has always eaten unprocessed, whole foods. The only time her weight fluctuated (slightly) was when she was pregnant.
Other friend also tiny (~5ft tall/under 100lbs). She's fairly sedentary, eats oreos and processed crap, always fills her plate up, but doesn't always finish eating it. Again, no food issues, no fluctuations.
I could go on, but the point is that everyone is different,different activity levels and different eating habits.
You cannot model one person after another. We all have our own path

I would never say to one of my 'skinny' friends, oh, you don't eat breakfast so you aren't really thin? Enjoying life? A success? It would sound ridiculous.
Just as this womams comment to you, besides probably being motivated by jealous, is just plain silly and makes no sense.