Help...... I need all the support I can get and then some.

I was so relieved when I came upon this website. I registered on the Slim-fast website, but have not gotten any buddies so I decided to look elsewhere.

I am almost 35 and weigh in at a whopping 305 lbs . I am feeling very depressed and overwhelmed with the road that lay in front of me, but at the same time I have more determination than ever.

I live in California. I have a wonderful husband of 6 1/2 years and 3 beautiful children. Cheyenne is 3, Lucas is 15 months and Kaleigha is 3 months (She's our wonderful "surprise baby"). I want more than anything to be able to play with my kids, to give them baths and to NOT have them be embarassed to be seen with their "fat" mom. They're too young right now to care about that, so I'm determined to get the weight off before they are old enough.

I think about how my life may be half over and I how I'm not happy with me. I tell myself that today is the first day of the rest of my life, and that I can do this.

I have always felt overweight my whole life. By that I mean, that in my minds eye I was always fat, but NOW when I look at me in highschool, I wish I were still that "fat". I wore a 14/16 and now I'm in a size 28. YIKES! weight can be a funny and deceiving thing.

I've tried every diet out there. From WW to phen-phen (BEFORE all the problems can to light). I don't have the money to join any program that may require it. So here I am, asking for support and encouragement from other wonderful people in the same position.
I don't have a solid plan just yet, but with time, I hope to find the plan that works for me.

I look forward to making friends here.

Dyan
Ready to be the me under all the fat.

Dyan.....WELCOME. You have come to right place. I personally am 48 statred this journey at 353+ so you are far from alone. My last weight check was 298. Finally made it below 300!!!
Set small goals if you don't meet them totally try again set another date but make your goals practical. Don't start out with your back up against the wall totally! You have to make a real change in lifestyle not just in food. How you think about food, what attitudes you have about you and life as well learning new coping skills, it takes time to get it all firmly established. You can do it I know I am doing it and God knows if I can so can you. Be diligent with your goals and keep focused. If you blow it don 't think oh well today is shot I will do it tomorrow! That is a head game we have all fallen for that gives us permission to fail. Don't do that to yourself. It is not ok to overindulge, it is not ok to collapse under pressure, it is not ok. Don't beat yourself up either. Kick you in the butt once very soundly and move on. If you slip catch yourself. ..and continue in a constructive manner not destructive. Why isn't it ok......because it is not ok to hurt yourself, it is not ok to behave unlovingly to yourself because you do not deserve to be unhappy or unhealthy. It is never ok. We are only human and we all sometimes fall flat on our faces but make no mistake it is not ok, it is a challenge to overcome and it takes real work but oh my goodness.....the rewards for this job well done is delight, freedom, bliss and pride. More than you can imagine so hang tough babe post often keep yourself accountable. We are with you 100%!!!!!!!!!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!
Pam

Thanks you so much Pam, for welcoming me. It's always hard to join in. I am part of other boards (expecting clubs and playgroups for the kids), but now it is time for me. I've never really felt as though I fit iin. I don't login to them everyday and don't post that often, so I know it is mostly my fault. I was so happy to read about your weight loss. I can't wait until I'm able to post of a weight loss. Unfortunately or maybe not, I don'thave a scale and don't have themoney right now to buy one. I figure if I'm gonna get one, I'm going to get that will last .

Well, my baby girl is crying and the other 2 are too quiet.....

Thanks again!

Dyan

Hi Dyan!!! Welcome.

Yeah, I wish I were as "fat" as I was in high school too. Looking back, it really wasn't all that bad. But I am determined to get back to my high school weight and go even further until I get to a healthy weight. I know it's possible. I just have to work at it one day at a time, one pound at a time.

You can do it too, Dyan, but it won't happen all at once. It takes time to identify and change habits that may be holding you back, and time to build new ones.

Asking for support is a great first step! Give yourself a pat on the back. I like the saying that "The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step." Losing alot of weight is like that journey. It begins with one step. It may help to set small goals, as Pam said. It's impossible to lose 100 pounds, but it IS possible to lose one pound, and then another, and then another, and so on.

You might want to read the thread with everyone's weight loss plan. Maybe it will give you some ideas. And keep posting. Ask questions. Let us know how you are doing. And think positively. It IS possible. You just haven't found the way yet.

Jeanne

love the spelling of your name!!

having a lot of weight to lose is a major challenge. but with perseverance, and patience, and changes, it is indeed possible.

check out all the threads, ask lots of questions, post regularly [it helps us think and stay focused]

there's a lot of wisdom on this board, of the type that most other boards just don't understand. and the low-carb ladies are very nice too. a bit wacky, but wonderful and supportive.

hmmmm. that gives me a thought.. i'll be back in a bit. assuming i find what i'm looking for...

anyway.. welcome, and glad to have you here...

oh, and one more thing.. never apologize for yourself. your friends don't care, and your non-friends will never understand.

sometimes i'm so good!!!!

ok. here goes. the federal government, actually the national institutes of health, regularly holds national consensus conferences on a wide range of topics. the focus is on the state of the science in treating a wide range of diseases [the most recent one ended on wednesday and it was on treating hepatitis C infections]

a couple of years ago, they had one of these conferences on obesity. and they actually had a [to me, at least] surprising conclusion. since the conference, they've published a wide range of useful info, including patient oriented materials. they're all available from the national institute of diabetes and digestive and kidney disease [niddk i think]. the main link is below [it's on the heart lung and blood institute's website, because the two institutes actually collaborated]... although i recommend starting from www.nih.gov once you get used to the site. there's a whole lot of info there.

http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/guidelines/obesity/ob_home.htm


ok. let me continue.

here's a quote from the practical guide for weight control. it's geared towards doctors, but they give the same info in the patient oriented materials. this is what surprised me:


"Goals of therapy are to reduce body weight and maintain a lower body weight for the long term; the prevention of further weight gain is the minimum goal. An initial weight loss of 10 percent of body weight achieved over 6 months is a recommended target. The rate of weight loss should be 1 to 2 pounds each week. Greater rates of weight loss do not achieve better long-term results.

After the first 6 months of weight loss therapy, the priority should be weight maintenance achieved through combined changes in diet, physical activity, and behavior. Further weight loss
can be considered after a period of weight maintenance."

did you see that???? they recommend only a relatively small weight loss at first. for a 300 pound person, it's 30 pounds over 6 months, a loss of 5 pounds a month. and then a period of maintenance. and then another 6-month stint of dieting..

they're saying that it's not good to lose it all at once. it's not good to keep on a starvation diet. and that it's a good thing to take a break and focus on maintaining a loss rather than on losing the rest..

i was blown away when i first saw this, and i've been meaning to share it with this board, but i didn't remember it until i realized how down on herself dyan was. and there's no reason to be.

so, everyone, if you're having trouble with your docs, print out some of the info on the website and shove it under their noses. they may quibble with a few details, but not a single one of them would dare disagree with the authorities who developed this information.

ok. i'll get off the soapbox now.

This is so great! Thank you to Jeanne and Jiffypop. You ladies are great already! As soon as I get some time I will be sure to check out that website.

This is the first time that I've been on a board set up this way, and it's going to take some time to get used to. I just don't know where to start.

I was hoping that you ladies might share with me, how long you've been on your plans and what your weight loss has been, if any. Like I said before, I don't have a scale, so I'm going by what the scale said at my last Dr. appt, in April. I would hate to think that it was more than what I stated.

It's funny, with my first 2 pregnancies I actually lost weight. Don't know how I managed that. With the first the Doc actually asked me if I was dieting Yeah right! I had lost 16lbs in a matter of few weeks. Now, if I could only figure out how I managed that. I'd be a skinny minnie.

I feel very blessed that my friends and family love me and except me for me. As a matter of fact, just a few weeks ago, my sister-in-law took me shopping and spent over $300 on me! She's like my gaurdian angel . She too is over wight, however not as much as I am. She went on a diet of low fat and excerise. She lost about 40 lbs., but when she went ot Mexico on vacation, she hurt her ankle and ended up gaining the weight all over.

Anyhoo, I'm very excited to get statrted. I love the encouragement that I've already received. This is going to be fun

Dyan

I've been working on my weight loss since January of 2001. So it's almost a year and a half I've been working at this. So far I've lost 47 pounds, but it's been very slow.

I'm not on any specific plan. I've read about alot of plans and read alot of people's success stories, and I've just adopted different things that made sense to me and that I can live with. I'm convinced that diets do not work. I can go on a diet, but I can't stand to stay on one. I think of diets as punitive, something you do to punish yourself because you're bad with food. I can't live like that.

My focus instead is on changing my lifestyle, a little at a time. I want to be healthy, and at my top weight, I felt positively sick.

Last year I worked on the habit of exercise. I joined a gym and went to 2 low impact aerobics classes a week and tried to go work out on my own for 30 minutes on another day a week. Over time, I got stronger and worked out more, and even started to do a little hiking by the end of the summer. I didn't really work on my eating habits at all because I felt it would just make me too stressed. It would be too much change at once.

Last year, I lost 17 pounds. This year, I've lost 30 and it's only June. The difference is that this year I've tackled my eating habits along with my exercise. I've had a definite setback in that I sprained my knee in February. I can't do much exercise -- just my knee strengthening exercises for now and a bit of light walking and swimming. It's been slow to heal. But, when I sprained my knee, I knew I had to change my eating habits or I'd regain all the weight I had worked so hard to lose. You can read my plan in the weight loss plans thread.

A major thing I'm working on this year is emotional eating and binging. I'm working on it, but it's a hard habit to change, and I've binged on chocolate and sweets for years and years. I know I can change this habit though.

I started at 250. I'm now at 203. I hope to reach 145. Only 58 more pounds to go. I hope to reach my goal within another year and a half, but I have tons of mini-goals along the way. I posted some in the summer mini-goal thread. My basic goal is to lose one pound ----- 105 times. I've already lost one pound 47 times. I just have to lose one pound 58 more times. I can lose one pound. And I hope to lose one pound every week or so. Of course, if it takes longer, that's ok too. I'll be glad to lose my one pound whenever it comes off.

That's great that your family and friends love you for who you are. You don't have to lose weight to be loved by friends and family.

Good luck with your efforts!!!! Keep posting!!!!

Jeanne

Hi Jennifer,

Thank you for the welcome. I am finding that I am finally at peace with my decision to do this for me. In the past, I wasn't looking forward to "dieting", but this time I am embracing my decision, to change my eating habits. I know the root of the problem. I eat out of boredom. Not that I have a chance to really be "bored" w/ 3 small children. I've deciced that next time I have the urge to eat a cookie or other "junk" food, out of boredom that I will pick up one of my kids and play with them instead.

I had planned to get up early this morning and start walking, but didn't . I could kick myself. But instead of beating myself up, I decided not to make any more excuses and just do it. I can still do it when I get home. I am really trying to be optimistic.

There are so many threads for me to check out, I just don't know where to start. So I'll start with the first one and work my way through. Like with anything, we just have to take the first step.

Again, thank you for the welcome.

Dyan

Good for you, Dyan.

Keep being positive. Good for you for not giving up just because you didn't get the walk in this morning. You're right. You can always get the walk in a little later. It's a great idea to tackle the boredom too. Sounds like you're determined to take the things that were holding you back and turning them to your advantage! I like your attitude.

Jeanne

Jeanne,

You may not believe this, but when I read your post, I was in near tears. I'm not exactly sure why. Maybe because, of the nice and encouraging words.

When you tell people that your going to lose weight ~ for the umpteenth time, they tend to just nod their heads and say good for you. But you know that they're thinking ~ yeah right, I've heard that before. So, Instead of telling all those around me and have heard it before, I will be coming here for support and encouragement. Although I did tell my mom, and she said, "I know if anyone can do it, you can". That made me very happy to know that someone else actually believed in me!

Today started out pretty good, but then I started feel crampy and have a dull ache in my lower back. I knew what that meant ~ Aunt Flo is here! UGH!! I just want to take some Tylenol and go to bed! So here I am, wondering if I'll be able to start walking, feeling the way I do.

Dyan

Here's some motivation to get that walk in, Dyan.

If you can get in the habit of walking, Aunt Flo will cause you less severe cramping and cravings, bring fewer aches and pains, and be more regular in her visits.

Try walking over these next few weeks, and see if you don't see an improvement in Flo's temperament. You may also find that you sleep better, have fewer mood swings (if you have them -- I do now and then), and all around feel better. That's my experience anyway.

What have you got to lose?

I'm glad you feel welcome here. I'm kind of new here too, though I'm not new to weight problems. I've come because it helps so much to have the support of people who are struggling with the same things I am. We need to know that we are not alone.

We can do it, Dyan.

OH DYANE what a way to start a new life!!! that does make it harder. but actualy you should not start an exercise program till your body has had a time to adjust to burning new fuel (fat) so lay low for a week or two before you jump start some exercise.

Jiff I know that my bosy has had it's own stop mechanisim to hole down the rapidness of the weight loss it is called a plateu!!! LOL

Dyane I am nearing my 2 year anniversary on my weight loss journey. I started a 24 and now am a 14 I was 235 and now I am 180 I had over 60% body fat and now am ranging about 30% I do a low carb and do some vigerous exercise, so I had gained lots of muscle and lost about 100 lbs of fat.l In this last year i can say that i have lost only 10 lbs (lost more but had gained some back) BUT i have droped from a loose 20 to a good fitting 14!

So if that is any encouragement take your measurements NOW as much as you hate to do it you will kick your self later if you do not! and also do some picts in a bathing suit if you can. If you do not own one and really do not want to buy one then get one and then leave all the tags on and return it after you take your pict!!

well hun I sure hope that we see much of you haning around here. that is why we all are here as we find that the best support is one who has been there and know the ups and downs of having lots of weight to lose.LOL

Well, i didn't get my walk in . But I was move than ready to get up this morning and start walking. I asked my Husband what time was the alarm set for and he said 4:45am. Cool. Well....when the alarm went it off it was 5:30am . I have to be to work at 6am!!! UGH!! So, no walking this morning. I need to figure out how I can get it done this afternoon. Especially with my kids (all wanting mommy's attention).

So, I don't own a scale, so yesterday I weighed myself at my sister-in-laws! I almost lost it. I THOUGHT my starting weight was a whopping 305, well guess what, It said 312 . That's 7 whole pounds more that I have to lose now.

Today, I'm in better spirits about the whole thing. Now I know for sure what my start weight is, and won't be discouraged when next month the scale doesn't show 305. I'm trying to look at the possitive side of the whole thing.

We are looking to buy a house, which is very nerve wracking in it's self. Out here housing is very expensive. The only place that we THOUGHT we could afford, is an hour commute each way, with OUT traffic! We looked and the houses are going for over $350,000!!! The one we liked will be about $410,000. Can you say YIKES!!!! So needless to say, I woke up with the worst pain in my neck. I'm thinking from the stress. It's a beautiful house. It's about 3,000 sq feet and 5 bedrooms. Again, thinking about the positive. Right now, we live in a dinky 3 bedroom apartment, and we're a family of 6.

Gotta go to a meeting......